Bored? Check Out a Couple of My Stories...Update on Page 3!

[johnnyredstorm]

Originally Posted by Je Ne Sais Quoi

I was under the assumption this was going to be erotic, but my penis didn't even move once.

C'mon Frank.

I'll pm you the 3 minute monologue I wrote for my softcore porno.

 

[big j 33]

Originally Posted by Je Ne Sais Quoi

I was under the assumption this was going to be erotic, but my penis didn't even move once.

C'mon Frank.

You clearly didn't read story number 2.

 

[chris steez]

lmfaooo @ story #2 where you said the smell hit you in the ribs harder than a kick from a brazilian jujitsu-ist lmao

 

[Bonafide]

You got anymore? I like reading short stories to pass the time

 

[pr0phecy718]

Originally Posted by bonafide125

You got anymore? I like reading short stories to pass the time

yea I would like to read more as well

 

[johnnyredstorm]

Originally Posted by pr0phecy718

Originally Posted by bonafide125

You got anymore? I like reading short stories to pass the time

yea I would like to read more as well

Everything else I have is a little longer. I'll try and find something relatively short that I'm satisfied with.

 

[classy freshman]

Cool.

You should compile all of your favorite writings into a book.

Thats what I did.

 

[proshares]

They're actually pretty good.

 

[johnnyredstorm]

Originally Posted by Classy Freshman

Cool.

You should compile all of your favorite writings into a book.

Thats what I did.

I'm working on a novel now, but I plan to do that eventually.

 

[johnnyredstorm]

I was bored so I did a quick little revision to the ending of the second story since the original was weak. Let me know what you think.

 

[Master Zik]

That 1st story reminds me of Michael Scott describing a black criminal and then saying you thought it was a black person didn't you? No it was an old white lady.

2nd story on some other $%#!. Plus is that a lesbian couple with a kid? If not mad *$!%@ for a dude talking about let Gregory's voice sooth me to sleep.

3rd was okay. Females perspective and all was a good attempt.

They were all okay except for the few words that didn't need to be in some sentences. You should start doing some of these from a black guy's pov. Remember it's fiction

 

[johnnyredstorm]

Originally Posted by Master Zik

That 1st story reminds me of Michael Scott describing a black criminal and then saying you thought it was a black person didn't you? No it was an old white lady.

2nd story on some other $%#!. Plus is that a lesbian couple with a kid? If not mad *$!%@ for a dude talking about let Gregory's voice sooth me to sleep.

3rd was okay. Females perspective and all was a good attempt.

They were all okay except for the few words that didn't need to be in some sentences. You should start doing some of these from a black guy's pov. Remember it's fiction

Yo when I find out the perspective to have a black guy used and it not be a poor attempt at capturing a voice, I'm gonna pm that right to you and Haze, because justice will finally be done and bridges will be built.

 

[johnnyredstorm]

I just did a spin-off 2 page story on #2 that I plan to expand on. Enjoy.

“Daniel Quentin

 

[pr0phecy718]

posting so I can read later during my lunch break

 

[pr0phecy718]

that last part of the story was

good job tho

 

[proshares]

Not really my taste of writing but still pretty good nonetheless. Are these for class or just leisure writing?

 

[johnnyredstorm]

That one's probably going to be my next creative writing project.

 

[johnnyredstorm]

I added some more to the story on page 2 and changed the order of some of the paragraphs. Enjoy.
Edit: It came out like crap when I posted it on here. If you want to read it PM me. If not, let the thread die.