Can you cheat and still be truly attracted to your bf/gf?

[jking0821]

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

@CameronNelson, hold on let me ask

JKing, what is your definition of, "Thinking about cheating on your girl?"

A. Looking at another female on the street and "imagining" a session (just a minor day dream)
B. Getting in a situation where you are ACTUALLY cheating on your girl. (thinking about PERFORMING physically engaging with a real woman)

If you are saying B, then I don't think it is far-fetched. But if you are saying you NEVER person option A, then I can't believe that at all.

Lol B for sure.  I think A all the time but actually plotting to get the cheating accomplished is more what I'm saying.  You can think about getting with a girl.  But when you actually approach her and know you would be willing to sleep with her if it got that far.

 

[jking0821]

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

@CameronNelson, hold on let me ask

JKing, what is your definition of, "Thinking about cheating on your girl?"

A. Looking at another female on the street and "imagining" a session (just a minor day dream)
B. Getting in a situation where you are ACTUALLY cheating on your girl. (thinking about PERFORMING physically engaging with a real woman)

If you are saying B, then I don't think it is far-fetched. But if you are saying you NEVER person option A, then I can't believe that at all.

Lol B for sure.  I think A all the time but actually plotting to get the cheating accomplished is more what I'm saying.  You can think about getting with a girl.  But when you actually approach her and know you would be willing to sleep with her if it got that far.

 

[blacklion23]

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

Originally Posted by BOTTOM74BOTTOM

One has nothing to do with the other. You can REALLY love the car you own, and still want to drive a rental for a number of reasons.

Sorry but this is a bad analogy. Reason being, a car can't love and/or have feeling for you in return. So it is a one sides infatuation between you and the car. The car hasn't invested time in you and your life, he has no other choice but to sit and get pushed around. (No auto). There is no MUTUAL emotional attachment between you and this car. So driving another car isn't deemed disrespectful or morally wrong.

I see what you are trying to say but.

Yea JKing, I hope you are able to see that as a human you are ABLE to fully love/care for more than one person. You are just falling victim of OUR society's rules. What if we lived in a culture where polygamy was accepted. Would you still believe that loving/caring for more than 1 person was impossible? I don't even think we would be having this conversation.

So remember, culture changes but natural emotions don't.

Wow! Decent analogy BOTTOM74 but DC broke it down. Well put DC.

 

[blacklion23]

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

Originally Posted by BOTTOM74BOTTOM

One has nothing to do with the other. You can REALLY love the car you own, and still want to drive a rental for a number of reasons.

Sorry but this is a bad analogy. Reason being, a car can't love and/or have feeling for you in return. So it is a one sides infatuation between you and the car. The car hasn't invested time in you and your life, he has no other choice but to sit and get pushed around. (No auto). There is no MUTUAL emotional attachment between you and this car. So driving another car isn't deemed disrespectful or morally wrong.

I see what you are trying to say but.

Yea JKing, I hope you are able to see that as a human you are ABLE to fully love/care for more than one person. You are just falling victim of OUR society's rules. What if we lived in a culture where polygamy was accepted. Would you still believe that loving/caring for more than 1 person was impossible? I don't even think we would be having this conversation.

So remember, culture changes but natural emotions don't.

Wow! Decent analogy BOTTOM74 but DC broke it down. Well put DC.

 

[finnns2003]

Personally...

-Yes. Say you're with the woman you want to marry, in your mid-20's. That's another 50-60 years you're going to have sex with the same person. IMO, just not doable.
-Anyone who says otherwise is either extremely naive, unattractive to women, or caving to some ridiculous "societal standards". Which aren't even standard. Everyone who has opportunities takes them
-People wonder why the divorce rate is so high... Duh? Having sex, kissing, hugging the same person everyday takes a toll on the mind. It gets stale. Do you eat the same sandwich everyday? Do you wear the same color shirt everyday?

 

[finnns2003]

Personally...

-Yes. Say you're with the woman you want to marry, in your mid-20's. That's another 50-60 years you're going to have sex with the same person. IMO, just not doable.
-Anyone who says otherwise is either extremely naive, unattractive to women, or caving to some ridiculous "societal standards". Which aren't even standard. Everyone who has opportunities takes them
-People wonder why the divorce rate is so high... Duh? Having sex, kissing, hugging the same person everyday takes a toll on the mind. It gets stale. Do you eat the same sandwich everyday? Do you wear the same color shirt everyday?

 

[yallayalla]

Originally Posted by popcornplaya


Have any NTers got caught/admit their cheating, and went on to continue having a healthy relationship?

hmmm.. just got caught like 2 weeks ago.. we still together but that TRUST thing is hard to get back

 

[yallayalla]

Originally Posted by popcornplaya


Have any NTers got caught/admit their cheating, and went on to continue having a healthy relationship?

hmmm.. just got caught like 2 weeks ago.. we still together but that TRUST thing is hard to get back

 

[jking0821]

Originally Posted by finnns2003

Personally...

-Yes. Say you're with the woman you want to marry, in your mid-20's. That's another 50-60 years you're going to have sex with the same person. IMO, just not doable.
-Anyone who says otherwise is either extremely naive, unattractive to women, or caving to some ridiculous "societal standards". Which aren't even standard. Everyone who has opportunities takes them
-People wonder why the divorce rate is so high... Duh? Having sex, kissing, hugging the same person everyday takes a toll on the mind. It gets stale. Do you eat the same sandwich everyday? Do you wear the same color shirt everyday?

A relationship to me is 80% emotional 20% physical.  Your sex life will dramatically slow when you get older no matter what.  So I would rather be with some one that i connect with emotionally then some one who is just good in bed.  People over rate sex.  Its fun but its just sex.  You can find other outlets to satisfy yourself (word to Arnold Schwarzenegger). 

 

[jking0821]

Originally Posted by finnns2003

Personally...

-Yes. Say you're with the woman you want to marry, in your mid-20's. That's another 50-60 years you're going to have sex with the same person. IMO, just not doable.
-Anyone who says otherwise is either extremely naive, unattractive to women, or caving to some ridiculous "societal standards". Which aren't even standard. Everyone who has opportunities takes them
-People wonder why the divorce rate is so high... Duh? Having sex, kissing, hugging the same person everyday takes a toll on the mind. It gets stale. Do you eat the same sandwich everyday? Do you wear the same color shirt everyday?

A relationship to me is 80% emotional 20% physical.  Your sex life will dramatically slow when you get older no matter what.  So I would rather be with some one that i connect with emotionally then some one who is just good in bed.  People over rate sex.  Its fun but its just sex.  You can find other outlets to satisfy yourself (word to Arnold Schwarzenegger). 

 

[cameron nelson]

Originally Posted by finnns2003

Personally...

-Yes. Say you're with the woman you want to marry, in your mid-20's. That's another 50-60 years you're going to have sex with the same person. IMO, just not doable.
-Anyone who says otherwise is either extremely naive, unattractive to women, or caving to some ridiculous "societal standards". Which aren't even standard. Everyone who has opportunities takes them
-People wonder why the divorce rate is so high... Duh? Having sex, kissing, hugging the same person everyday takes a toll on the mind. It gets stale. Do you eat the same sandwich everyday? Do you wear the same color shirt everyday?

#1--Not always the case, BUT for some, it is a recipe for disaster. I urge everyone to live their life and enjoy it, but at the same time, getting married in your early/late 30's narrows your chances by a large margin. Also, if you DO feel that you've found a good woman early, don't be a %#**@@* and let her go just cause you want to chase *%*. That's just stupid.

#2--Not necessarily...I LOVE women; prob.more than most! But, that whole "everyone who has opp.takes them" is BS....if you're solo, then great. If you're with someone, I dont advise it. Most women are evil by nature, and messin with the wrong one will destroy whatever relationship you have with your girl. We forget that even though we may cover our tracks, once it no longer becomes "just sex" to her and emotions get involved, most will try to break your and your girl/wife up. I think some of ya'll are tryin so hard to buck at society, you want to do the opposite of whatever you think the "standard" is.

#3--The divorce rate is high because people like you (no offense) have the mindset that they have to take every opp.that's thrown at them. They have absolutely NO self-control, and this just isn't for people in the early/mid 20's...it's a mindset. If you +*!% everything walkin at 25, you'll do it at 35. You don't EVER get tired of tryin somethin new! People get married who have no business gettin married, much less bein in a relationship with anyone. Things only get stale if you want them to get stale, and the average person screamin that *$#! gets caught up in the first year or two...you haven't had a chance to get tired of anything! That's just a convenient excuse.

 

[cameron nelson]

Originally Posted by finnns2003

Personally...

-Yes. Say you're with the woman you want to marry, in your mid-20's. That's another 50-60 years you're going to have sex with the same person. IMO, just not doable.
-Anyone who says otherwise is either extremely naive, unattractive to women, or caving to some ridiculous "societal standards". Which aren't even standard. Everyone who has opportunities takes them
-People wonder why the divorce rate is so high... Duh? Having sex, kissing, hugging the same person everyday takes a toll on the mind. It gets stale. Do you eat the same sandwich everyday? Do you wear the same color shirt everyday?

#1--Not always the case, BUT for some, it is a recipe for disaster. I urge everyone to live their life and enjoy it, but at the same time, getting married in your early/late 30's narrows your chances by a large margin. Also, if you DO feel that you've found a good woman early, don't be a %#**@@* and let her go just cause you want to chase *%*. That's just stupid.

#2--Not necessarily...I LOVE women; prob.more than most! But, that whole "everyone who has opp.takes them" is BS....if you're solo, then great. If you're with someone, I dont advise it. Most women are evil by nature, and messin with the wrong one will destroy whatever relationship you have with your girl. We forget that even though we may cover our tracks, once it no longer becomes "just sex" to her and emotions get involved, most will try to break your and your girl/wife up. I think some of ya'll are tryin so hard to buck at society, you want to do the opposite of whatever you think the "standard" is.

#3--The divorce rate is high because people like you (no offense) have the mindset that they have to take every opp.that's thrown at them. They have absolutely NO self-control, and this just isn't for people in the early/mid 20's...it's a mindset. If you +*!% everything walkin at 25, you'll do it at 35. You don't EVER get tired of tryin somethin new! People get married who have no business gettin married, much less bein in a relationship with anyone. Things only get stale if you want them to get stale, and the average person screamin that *$#! gets caught up in the first year or two...you haven't had a chance to get tired of anything! That's just a convenient excuse.

 

[cameron nelson]

Originally Posted by Jking0821

Originally Posted by finnns2003

Personally...

-Yes. Say you're with the woman you want to marry, in your mid-20's. That's another 50-60 years you're going to have sex with the same person. IMO, just not doable.
-Anyone who says otherwise is either extremely naive, unattractive to women, or caving to some ridiculous "societal standards". Which aren't even standard. Everyone who has opportunities takes them
-People wonder why the divorce rate is so high... Duh? Having sex, kissing, hugging the same person everyday takes a toll on the mind. It gets stale. Do you eat the same sandwich everyday? Do you wear the same color shirt everyday?

A relationship to me is 80% emotional 20% physical.  Your sex life will dramatically slow when you get older no matter what.  So I would rather be with some one that i connect with emotionally then some one who is just good in bed.  People over rate sex.  Its fun but its just sex.  You can find other outlets to satisfy yourself (word to Arnold Schwarzenegger). 

I dont know about those calculations, bruh...

As far as "slowing when you get older", says who?!

Maybe for some, but women get a "second wind" in their late 30's/early 40's, and THEN menopause kicks in. Besides, worrying about "when you get older" while you're in your 20's is crazy. Sex is EXTREMELY important IMO. If it isn't for you, that's cool....just make sure you're not dating a nympho, and you'll be fine. People have to know who they're dealin with. Too many times a "freak" ends up with a prude. If you're a sexual person, you need to find someone to match your stamina and drive, otherwise you're doomed.

 

[cameron nelson]

Originally Posted by Jking0821

Originally Posted by finnns2003

Personally...

-Yes. Say you're with the woman you want to marry, in your mid-20's. That's another 50-60 years you're going to have sex with the same person. IMO, just not doable.
-Anyone who says otherwise is either extremely naive, unattractive to women, or caving to some ridiculous "societal standards". Which aren't even standard. Everyone who has opportunities takes them
-People wonder why the divorce rate is so high... Duh? Having sex, kissing, hugging the same person everyday takes a toll on the mind. It gets stale. Do you eat the same sandwich everyday? Do you wear the same color shirt everyday?

A relationship to me is 80% emotional 20% physical.  Your sex life will dramatically slow when you get older no matter what.  So I would rather be with some one that i connect with emotionally then some one who is just good in bed.  People over rate sex.  Its fun but its just sex.  You can find other outlets to satisfy yourself (word to Arnold Schwarzenegger). 

I dont know about those calculations, bruh...

As far as "slowing when you get older", says who?!

Maybe for some, but women get a "second wind" in their late 30's/early 40's, and THEN menopause kicks in. Besides, worrying about "when you get older" while you're in your 20's is crazy. Sex is EXTREMELY important IMO. If it isn't for you, that's cool....just make sure you're not dating a nympho, and you'll be fine. People have to know who they're dealin with. Too many times a "freak" ends up with a prude. If you're a sexual person, you need to find someone to match your stamina and drive, otherwise you're doomed.

 

[jking0821]

Originally Posted by Cameron Nelson

Originally Posted by finnns2003

Personally...

-Yes. Say you're with the woman you want to marry, in your mid-20's. That's another 50-60 years you're going to have sex with the same person. IMO, just not doable.
-Anyone who says otherwise is either extremely naive, unattractive to women, or caving to some ridiculous "societal standards". Which aren't even standard. Everyone who has opportunities takes them
-People wonder why the divorce rate is so high... Duh? Having sex, kissing, hugging the same person everyday takes a toll on the mind. It gets stale. Do you eat the same sandwich everyday? Do you wear the same color shirt everyday?

#1--Not always the case, BUT for some, it is a recipe for disaster. I urge everyone to live their life and enjoy it, but at the same time, getting married in your early/late 30's narrows your chances by a large margin. Also, if you DO feel that you've found a good woman early, don't be a %#**@@* and let her go just cause you want to chase *%*. That's just stupid.

#2--Not necessarily...I LOVE women; prob.more than most! But, that whole "everyone who has opp.takes them" is BS....if you're solo, then great. If you're with someone, I dont advise it. Most women are evil by nature, and messin with the wrong one will destroy whatever relationship you have with your girl. We forget that even though we may cover our tracks, once it no longer becomes "just sex" to her and emotions get involved, most will try to break your and your girl/wife up. I think some of ya'll are tryin so hard to buck at society, you want to do the opposite of whatever you think the "standard" is.

#3--The divorce rate is high because people like you (no offense) have the mindset that they have to take every opp.that's thrown at them. They have absolutely NO self-control, and this just isn't for people in the early/mid 20's...it's a mindset. If you +*!% everything walkin at 25, you'll do it at 35. You don't EVER get tired of tryin somethin new! People get married who have no business gettin married, much less bein in a relationship with anyone. Things only get stale if you want them to get stale, and the average person screamin that *$#! gets caught up in the first year or two...you haven't had a chance to get tired of anything! That's just a convenient excuse.

I think i can retire from this thread well said my man.  Couldn't add anything to this.

Iv had friends that were girls who catch feeling and immediately go for the "just break up with your girl friend" line.  Everyone wants what they can't have.  But when you have it you have to embrace it and realize it.

 

[jking0821]

Originally Posted by Cameron Nelson

Originally Posted by finnns2003

Personally...

-Yes. Say you're with the woman you want to marry, in your mid-20's. That's another 50-60 years you're going to have sex with the same person. IMO, just not doable.
-Anyone who says otherwise is either extremely naive, unattractive to women, or caving to some ridiculous "societal standards". Which aren't even standard. Everyone who has opportunities takes them
-People wonder why the divorce rate is so high... Duh? Having sex, kissing, hugging the same person everyday takes a toll on the mind. It gets stale. Do you eat the same sandwich everyday? Do you wear the same color shirt everyday?

#1--Not always the case, BUT for some, it is a recipe for disaster. I urge everyone to live their life and enjoy it, but at the same time, getting married in your early/late 30's narrows your chances by a large margin. Also, if you DO feel that you've found a good woman early, don't be a %#**@@* and let her go just cause you want to chase *%*. That's just stupid.

#2--Not necessarily...I LOVE women; prob.more than most! But, that whole "everyone who has opp.takes them" is BS....if you're solo, then great. If you're with someone, I dont advise it. Most women are evil by nature, and messin with the wrong one will destroy whatever relationship you have with your girl. We forget that even though we may cover our tracks, once it no longer becomes "just sex" to her and emotions get involved, most will try to break your and your girl/wife up. I think some of ya'll are tryin so hard to buck at society, you want to do the opposite of whatever you think the "standard" is.

#3--The divorce rate is high because people like you (no offense) have the mindset that they have to take every opp.that's thrown at them. They have absolutely NO self-control, and this just isn't for people in the early/mid 20's...it's a mindset. If you +*!% everything walkin at 25, you'll do it at 35. You don't EVER get tired of tryin somethin new! People get married who have no business gettin married, much less bein in a relationship with anyone. Things only get stale if you want them to get stale, and the average person screamin that *$#! gets caught up in the first year or two...you haven't had a chance to get tired of anything! That's just a convenient excuse.

I think i can retire from this thread well said my man.  Couldn't add anything to this.

Iv had friends that were girls who catch feeling and immediately go for the "just break up with your girl friend" line.  Everyone wants what they can't have.  But when you have it you have to embrace it and realize it.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Originally Posted by Jking0821

A relationship to me is 80% emotional 20% physical. 

How did you get those %'s?

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Originally Posted by Jking0821

A relationship to me is 80% emotional 20% physical. 

How did you get those %'s?

 

[jking0821]

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

Originally Posted by Jking0821

A relationship to me is 80% emotional 20% physical. 

How did you get those %'s?

Made em up lol.  It was more or less to just show relationships are more emotional then physical to me......may be over exaggerated....for impact

 

[jking0821]

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

Originally Posted by Jking0821

A relationship to me is 80% emotional 20% physical. 

How did you get those %'s?

Made em up lol.  It was more or less to just show relationships are more emotional then physical to me......may be over exaggerated....for impact

 

[slab_diaz]

Originally Posted by popcornplaya

Is it possible for a man to still have feelings for a girl he cheats on? Can he still be just as attracted to her as when he first met her?
Does the same go for women?
Have any NTers got caught/admit their cheating, and went on to continue having a healthy relationship?

yes, an example would be in long distance relationships sometimes you need to "refuel", so to speak. so refueling may come in the form of cheating or doin bad deeds. but of course if you really love a person you wouldn't cheat now would you and if you did, you may have to carry the burden of feeling guilty. when it comes to being cheated on, we'll all get mad i mean diff scenarios would come to mind, but if youre partner can put across the most convincing apology, and you can forgive her, then i guess it'll make the relationship better.

 

[slab_diaz]

Originally Posted by popcornplaya

Is it possible for a man to still have feelings for a girl he cheats on? Can he still be just as attracted to her as when he first met her?
Does the same go for women?
Have any NTers got caught/admit their cheating, and went on to continue having a healthy relationship?

yes, an example would be in long distance relationships sometimes you need to "refuel", so to speak. so refueling may come in the form of cheating or doin bad deeds. but of course if you really love a person you wouldn't cheat now would you and if you did, you may have to carry the burden of feeling guilty. when it comes to being cheated on, we'll all get mad i mean diff scenarios would come to mind, but if youre partner can put across the most convincing apology, and you can forgive her, then i guess it'll make the relationship better.

 

[finnns2003]

Wait a second now...

-Not everyone is solo in their 20's. I'm saying that if you're with someone, and you're not married, the odds are greater that you'll want to have fun before that marriage. It's not everyone's mindset, but when you weigh down the absolutes (marrying, sex with the same person for decades) you take advantage of opportunities. Cam, c'mon now man, if you say... travel to another country with your friends or hit up a bar and a woman throws herself at you, I DOUBT you're giving her the Heisman

-Ah yes, the elitist "I have more self control" theories. Again, everyone has a breaking point. It depends on many factors, but one is that your tracks would be totally covered. A lot of you don't seem to realize that even marrying at 28, you'll be (or supposed to be) boinking the same chick for the next 50 years. Sorry but that's not very desirable

-

I'll continue to watch this thread

 

[finnns2003]

Wait a second now...

-Not everyone is solo in their 20's. I'm saying that if you're with someone, and you're not married, the odds are greater that you'll want to have fun before that marriage. It's not everyone's mindset, but when you weigh down the absolutes (marrying, sex with the same person for decades) you take advantage of opportunities. Cam, c'mon now man, if you say... travel to another country with your friends or hit up a bar and a woman throws herself at you, I DOUBT you're giving her the Heisman

-Ah yes, the elitist "I have more self control" theories. Again, everyone has a breaking point. It depends on many factors, but one is that your tracks would be totally covered. A lot of you don't seem to realize that even marrying at 28, you'll be (or supposed to be) boinking the same chick for the next 50 years. Sorry but that's not very desirable

-

I'll continue to watch this thread

 

[cameron nelson]

Originally Posted by finnns2003

Wait a second now...

-Not everyone is solo in their 20's. I'm saying that if you're with someone, and you're not married, the odds are greater that you'll want to have fun before that marriage. It's not everyone's mindset, but when you weigh down the absolutes (marrying, sex with the same person for decades) you take advantage of opportunities. Cam, c'mon now man, if you say... travel to another country with your friends or hit up a bar and a woman throws herself at you, I DOUBT you're giving her the Heisman

-Ah yes, the elitist "I have more self control" theories. Again, everyone has a breaking point. It depends on many factors, but one is that your tracks would be totally covered. A lot of you don't seem to realize that even marrying at 28, you'll be (or supposed to be) boinking the same chick for the next 50 years. Sorry but that's not very desirable

-

I'll continue to watch this thread

Oh, I KNOW everyone isn't solo in their 20's...BUT, what I AM sayin is...if that's your mentality, then why get with anybody at all?! To have your cake and eat it too? I have NO problems with someone doin as many women as possible, BUT if you KNOW you want to do that, why get tied down?! And as far as my friends go, no way...if I was going to, I'd do my dirt all by myself. I dont need any of my friends gettin a conscious and deciding to tell her, give me an ultimatum to do it, or get plastered somewhere and alcohol be a truth serum.

....and me? Elitist?! Slap yourself. I had my breaking point earlier in the story I mentioned, BUT...it wasn't "just because". Not to say that excuses it, but it def.wasn't because I was bored or no *%@+ like that. There's females I could call RIGHT NOW and get it poppin, but for what? So they could meet my wife and look at her sideways? Text/call at all hours of the night? Start to get feelings and then I gotta shake 'em? And IF I shake her, she could be a psycho and tell my wife to break us up, etc, etc...I'm cool. I try to lead as much of a drama-free life as possible.