delte

[jking0821]

But if you say you are too young to settle down guess what...you are. Don't matter if you have a good one or not. If that's how you're thinking it won't last.

Make yourself happy the best you can and stop stressing about these things.

 

[youngdoc]

I don't believe there's a right age to settle down.

One of my good friends got married in his early 20's to a beautiful down chick and has 2 beautiful kids. Happy as can be.

My brother who is 36 just got engaged last month to a beautiful chick in her early 30's who has her stuff together.

I'm 28 and nowhere near marriage and I don't regret it. I enjoy the single life and the lack of pressure it comes with. I have no worries about finding a wife when I'm a practicing physician in my 30's. It's not hard for a man to date younger and the older and further along in my career I get the more yambs that get thrown at me.

Not against serious relationships right now but not actively searching. Just gonna do my residency thing and enjoy being a single black doctor in LA

 

[Peep Game]

True. It's not the age, it's where you are in life and how comfortable you could be if you did choose to settle down. Plenty people have made mistakes trying to pinpoint exactly when to settle down. That only rivals immediately diving in headfirst.

 

[lordofcastamere]

Meh 30 is still very young for a guy don't let desperate women tell you otherwise. Men have no biological clock. A man only matures when a woman has convinced him he is old.

This one girl was tryna tell me I was old and should have had kids by now cause i told her i didnt want marriage and kids till I'm at a secure place in my career in my mid 30s maybe 40s. how the hell is mid 20s old?

 

[fontaine]

Meh 30 is still very young for a guy don't let desperate women tell you otherwise. Men have no biological clock. A man only matures when a woman has convinced him he is old.

This one girl was tryna tell me I was old and should have had kids by now cause i told her i didnt waahoy arise and kids till I'm at a secure place in my career in my mid 30s maybe 40s. how the hell is mid 20s old?

a bit extreme, but i can dig it.

 

[lordofcastamere]

Lol at this idea that marrying early will guarantee you didn't marry a ***. Top 10 dumbest things I've heard on this site. I've messed women who got married early, some while they were married (yea I know I'm a bad person).

 

[moderndarwin]

I'll say what others aren't: it's not that easy to pick up quality quality women. At least for me it never was. I'm not bad looking. I've got a good mouthpiece. I'm yada yada. Usually, on a night out (after college) if I hit the bar I'd get 3-7 numbers, and maybe if it a club type atmosphere end up making up with a girl. Occasionally, I'd get a hotel room with a girl that i had met that night. This all is a lot of work though. Out of those 3 to 7 girls whose numbers I'd get I'd be lucky if I actually wanted 1 of them (and she wanted me). One a drunken night out I'll smash, but if I have to put in work for it I don't want a girl who a) not gorgeous to me b) annoying c) irresponsible (most females) d) just don't vibe with.

I was single from 16 to 26, with the occasional serious dating for no more than 4 weeks thrown in here and there, and I can't tell you how happy I am to be in a relationship now for the past 3 years. I can focus on getting the material stuff I want in life, barely drink ever anymore, still can play hoops and see my friends whenever, and have a girl that wants to grow and get better as people with me. It's not easy to find this...and a lot of people give up on relationships because of their ego, what society says a 'man' should want (more womenz, freedom), and a lot of nonsense rolling around in there head.

As someone single I had a lot of fun going out, but I always felt mad empty at 6 am when I got home after a night out. We went out both Friday and Saturday usually every week, if not more. However, even though I was having fun it was always felt like I was going out to try and meet a girl. I know this is not the mentality you should have going into any situation, but I couldn't help it. Even going into a new work meeting, I always felt like I gotta be my best to try and meet some girl. Always trying to put my best foot forward for that reason. Oddly, now that I got the right girl for me I am in better physical, mental and financial shape than I've ever been. You have to respect and understand your own feelings. For me, I crave a close relationship with one person to do stuff together. For some people, they crave living life solo dolo and meeting new people etc. You have to really sit down and understand your feelings about what makes you content.

 

[Mark Antony]

Lol at this idea that marrying early will guarantee you didn't marry a ***. Top 10 dumbest things I've heard on this site. I've messed women who got married early, some while they were married (yea I know I'm a bad person).

Yeah locking them up early just means you put a ring on it before they discovered their *** tendencies. If it's gonna happen, it's gonna happen, you are who you are.

 

[ill steelo]

Move at your own pace. Don't let any friends, fam, significant other muscle u into doing anything.

 

[airblaster503]

26 and single checking in. Have only been in one actual relationship in my life where I felt strongly for the girl and that was 6 years ago. I get where dudes are coming from on feeling like there is a number. Hell all my friends but 2 of my boys are in serious LTR's. Always get called the single friend but eff it, I'm not out here trying to force something to please others, have to learn to live for yourself.

 

[capital sb]

Are those same "statistics" better for someone who gets engaged and married at 30? Beezy if you feel like you already found the right girl it don't matter what other people say.. do you pimp

Thanks man im not worried about what people say as long as me and my girl are happy thats all that matters. Now a days marriage is not even thought about because not that many people take relationships seriously.

 I want millions, a family to come home to and a devoted wife that I can be a devoted husband to.

I don't really feel validated by what I can take anymore. I want to leave something behind.

 

[jehul]

You have to really sit down and understand your feelings about what makes you content.

This.

 

[jordan23dotcom]

Do your thing, but remember when you're 33 and still hitting the clubs to spit game the answer is yes, they're laughing at you. Also remember that there isn't a switch you flip and all of a sudden you have a wife and kids. If you miss the boat you're SOL

 

[a blinkin]

Went to a bar last night with my home girls last night. This dude came and sat down. Grey hair, looked about 45. Had a 15 min conversation about motorcycles, and still "living the life". Couldn't help but to think that I may end up just like him if I don't settle down.

But then I think of the alternative... Which is being with someone and living a life I don't truly want to be living since I settled out of the fear of being alone.

Da conundrum.

 

[PRIME]

Went to a bar last night with my home girls last night. This dude came and sat down. Grey hair, looked about 45. Had a 15 min conversation about motorcycles, and still "living the life". Couldn't help but to think that I may end up just like him if I don't settle down.

But then I think of the alternative... Which is being with someone and living a life I don't truly want to be living since I settled out of the fear of being alone.

Da conundrum.

Thats why you settle down when you're ready. Not when you look down at your watch and think "well, I'm running out of time"

 

[shogun]

^
Just do what makes you happy in life.

There isn't an official life timeline or rules of when you need to settle down. Just because a person is alone doesn't mean they have to be lonely.

Don't set up roots if you don't really want to. Too many unhappy people in the world because they do what is expected of them.

 

[PRIME]

^
Just do what makes you happy in life.

There isn't an official life timeline or rules of when you need to settle down. Just because a person is alone doesn't mean they have to be lonely.

Don't set up roots if you don't really want to. Too many unhappy people in the world because they do what is expected of them.

Exactly

 

[jordan23dotcom]

Thats why you settle down when you're ready. Not when you look down at your watch and think "well, I'm running out of time"

True, but you also have to do it when the opportunity presents itself. What a lot of these guys in here don't realize that the world doesn't revolve around them. Sure have your fun, spend your money, do your thing, but you do everything for yourself long enough and pass everything up you'll be beating your meat at mamas

 

[Fong$tarr]

I think you will always have regret in either scenario. There is really no way to live the life that you want in any shape or form. The best thing to do is be happy with what you have.

I just turned 32 this past June. Oddly my generation from where I grew up (East Bay, CA) is still slowly starting to settle down at this age and having kids. We are definitely not like are parents before us that got married early and had almost a minimum of 3 kids or more, so there seems like there is no pressure to settle down. Most of my friends have at most 2 kids, just cause financially it is hard to live with a larger family. I am still not married nor want kids but I always tell myself that is easily obtainable and very fast to catch up with the rest of the pack. I do live a life of regrets that I didn't live up to as a teenager or young adult but at the age that I am at, I am finally learning to let it go. I think I am finally ready to move to that next part of my life of having kids and being married. Kind of crazy for me to even say that, but that is also a sign that I am finally maturing in this kid mind that I have.


Couple of the things that I always tell people even on here. If there is one thing I can't stress enough, go travel while you are young. I know possessions are a huge part of peoples income but I so wish I never got into shoes and other such things so I could have saved to travel the world. I think there is some sort of personal growth from doing that. Also if people have the means, move out of your comfort zone and into a new city/area altogether. That is also something I wish I had done earlier so I could learn to just be more of an adult with managing bills and appreciate the value of money and wanting to get more of it. I sat at home and live with my mom for almost 27 years and it wasn't till I was forced to move out that things really started to move in my life.

 

[a blinkin]

I appreciate the advice. Really needed to read those responses.

It just seems like I'm getting up there in age and I'm watching my circle get smaller, what with folks tying the knot while the rest of us are running around man horing and screwing up any chances of forming real relationships.

Part of my problem is I tend to compare myself to other people. Just gotta get my **** together.

 

[PRIME]

Thats why you settle down when you're ready. Not when you look down at your watch and think "well, I'm running out of time"

True, but you also have to do it when the opportunity presents itself. What a lot of these guys in here don't realize that the world doesn't revolve around them. Sure have your fun, spend your money, do your thing, but you do everything for yourself long enough and pass everything up you'll be beating your meat at mamas

I agree. I do see that as a pattern not only on this site, but out in the world as well.

Everyone wants to be a lifelong bachelor. You can't stroll around ******g chicks and spending stacks like you're Ryan Gosling in Crazy Stupid Love. There has to be a sense of reality.

Some people WANT to live a lifestyle they aren't made for.

They're living vicariously through the lifestyle of others, and just like you said, once reality smacks them in the face at 30, they're lonely jerking at their moms crib.

Theres nothing wrong with having a wifey. But don't force it. Some guys just seem like they're scared of commitment. Like its the end of the world or something spending their lives with the same chick, when in reality, a lot of them don't even get any buns right now

I appreciate the advice. Really needed to read those responses.

It just seems like I'm getting up there in age and I'm watching my circle get smaller, what with folks tying the knot while the rest of us are running around man horing and screwing up any chances of forming real relationships.

Part of my problem is I tend to compare myself to other people. Just gotta get my **** together.

Yeah man you gotta stop comparing yourself man. At this point in my life, I'm probably in the most mature relationship out of my circle of boys. I'm fine with it.

I'm not saying go jump into a relationship with the first chick that gives you some convo, but don't miss the signs and opportunities that present themselves to you in life fam.

When a good girl falls in your lap, see how it works out for you. Don't throw out the idea of a future with a girl out of thoughts of being "restricted" or "tied down".

Live life to the fullest and let it take you where you want to go, but don't be blind to the great opportunities that could come through relationships. It ain't for everyone, but then again neither is being single.

 

[king milaac]

 Single 28 year old checking in.

Have had 4 good friends get married in the past 2 years. I suspect in the next 2 years their newborns will arrive.

I think I'm a introvert by nature. At work and professionally. I'm highly competitive, and self motivated. These characteristics have made the single life my life for the past 7 or so years. I feel like having a significant other would be a tiring responsibility that I would be held accountable for and get in the way of my own personal goals. This view can be seen as selfish I guess.

I love going out and playing the field. I've had some fun nights. However, there are times where you get that lonely feel. Sunday afternoons for example. Another thing I feel like I'm missing out on is meeting someone to bring out the most in me. As I said earlier, I'm an introvert and highly self motivated, almost "socio path" mentality at work. But sometimes I wonder if there is someone out there would bring out other things in me that I can't do myself, someone to challenge the way I view things, and bring out the best in me. I think at this stage I worry I am missing on that the most.

As far kids and family. Of course I want that, someday, not now. As someone said earlier, it depends a lot on where you're from. Living in the Bay Area is expensive. A decent house out here to raise a family in  is going to be $500k +, what 20 something year old is going to be able to handle that? I've been fortunate enough to have a great salary for my age, but even with this, if I were to buy a house today I would pretty much be locked down to my mortgage. Not to mention out here, since work is so competitive, a lot of guys are super smart and highly motivated at work and in their careers, but due to all that, they lack social maturity and lack the core fundamentals of what it means to be a family man. Most of my colleagues are caught up in making $200k+ and buying fancy suits, chasing lavish vacations, bottle service weekends, all this really doesn't help you become a man in the sense of what a family man is. Having said that I am in no way shape or form ready to have a child, so I have no desire to at this point in my life.  

 

[Chopper]

So much truth on page 3. I can relate 100% to a ton of this. When it comes to your happiness, be selfish. Only get one chance at life, might as well be happy (whether that's married with kids or bachelor till 45).

Lots of perks to both.

 

[king milaac]

Question for y'all. How lame is it to be 30+ in the club?

Asking because I'm 28, and heading to Vegas in 2 weeks. I still get excited to head out to Vegas at 28 years old. Reading this thread made me realize, in a year or so, is it going to look lame going to Vegas to game women? Truthfully, "experiencing" Vegas really started happening when I was 26 or so, meaning, this was when my friends and I could honestly afford bottle service haha, before that it was trying to run game down in the trenches. So it's really only been 2 years of "real" clubbing for me (being able to afford it.) But now, it seems like that time is already running out? Is it really lame to be 30+ in the club?

 

[Chopper]

Not lame at all (maybe a little). I'll be out there in Sep blowing those clubs and day clubs up, and I got a year on you. Let the party commence!