Does everyone cheat in relationships?

[youngdoc]

Originally Posted by SpeakUp23

Originally Posted by youngdoc

IMO if you're not engaged or married you haven't made any type of real commitment and it's not a huge deal to do you

Why though? How can you get to that engaged/married point, when you are constantly cheating, getting cheated on. This argument is complete #+#@%+%%. If you want to go out and !##+ other people (guys and girls) then dont involve someone else in your selfishness, because odds are, the other person doesnt share you "opinion" and you are just hurting them at the end of the day.

If your confused about what it is you want, then its best not to get involved at all. Its not just you in the relationship.

It's just my opinion. There are relationships that have their benefits where you know marriage isn't the endgame. Yes it is selfish. I didn't say it was right, I said it's not a huge deal.

 

[antonlavey]

Originally Posted by Peep Game

Originally Posted by AntonLaVey

Originally Posted by North Dade Represent

I don't know what kind of birds ya'll dealing with, but most of the girls I know would stay faithful to a dude if he's handling his business.

Right like you would know if she was cheating on you, most men with their egos assume they are handling their business

That's basically an out for "Well since she may be cheating on me, I may as well do the same"
  

um I don't know where your going with this, but my point was there's no way of knowing for sure whether or not you're getting cheated on

 

[sillyputty]

Originally Posted by AntonLaVey

Originally Posted by Peep Game

Originally Posted by AntonLaVey


Right like you would know if she was cheating on you, most men with their egos assume they are handling their business

That's basically an out for "Well since she may be cheating on me, I may as well do the same"
  

um I don't know where your going with this, but my point was there's no way of knowing for sure whether or not you're getting cheated on

This is how I approach life.
I will NOT fight for you.

You either want to be with me or not. 

You can't make someone NOT cheat on you. The best you can do is to keep up your end of the bargain. Because you never really will ever know. 

On top of that, lets say you do decide to fight for her...where does that leave you? You basically convinced someone that didn't originally need you to start caring about you?

Nah holmes. 

She wants me or not. Thats it and thats all there ever was. All that extra energy is just delusional. 

 

[chrisavelli]

I'm Haitian, we were born to cheat and have illegitimate children-sad but true...

 

[speakup23]

Originally Posted by sillyputty

This is how I approach life.
I will NOT fight for you.

You either want to be with me or not. 

You can't make someone NOT cheat on you. The best you can do is to keep up your end of the bargain. Because you never really will ever know. 

On top of that, lets say you do decide to fight for her...where does that leave you? You basically convinced someone that didn't originally need you to start caring about you?

Nah holmes. 

She wants me or not. Thats it and thats all there ever was. All that extra energy is just delusional. 

 

[blazinrook]

Originally Posted by chrisavelli

I'm Haitian, we were born to cheat and have illegitimate children-sad but true...

so i guess progress is not the Haitian way? c'mon fam, anyone can change, and everyone has room to grow

 

[pip777]

Originally Posted by SpeakUp23

Originally Posted by sillyputty

This is how I approach life.
I will NOT fight for you.

You either want to be with me or not. 

You can't make someone NOT cheat on you. The best you can do is to keep up your end of the bargain. Because you never really will ever know. 

On top of that, lets say you do decide to fight for her...where does that leave you? You basically convinced someone that didn't originally need you to start caring about you?

Nah holmes. 

She wants me or not. Thats it and thats all there ever was. All that extra energy is just delusional. 

 

[ruxxx]

Originally Posted by SpeakUp23

Originally Posted by sillyputty


I will NOT fight for you.

You either want to be with me or not.

 

[mytmouse76]

Originally Posted by KingSuperbIV

Love my girl dearly even though I have cheated like 50 times within 11 years. Too me 99% of Men cheat and the ones who say they dont lie. Its just in our bature to have a nice new piece of boota every now and then.

Girls on the otherhand like to flirt

if its in your nature why hide it?

that nature stuff is BS cuz if it was so natural you wouldnt have to lie about and you could tell your girl straight up this is how its gonna be and let her make her decision from there...

you don't cuz you know more than likely it won't turn out in your favor
  

 

[Peep Game]

Originally Posted by sillyputty

Originally Posted by AntonLaVey

Originally Posted by Peep Game




That's basically an out for "Well since she may be cheating on me, I may as well do the same"
  

um I don't know where your going with this, but my point was there's no way of knowing for sure whether or not you're getting cheated on

This is how I approach life.
I will NOT fight for you.

You either want to be with me or not. 




You can't make someone NOT cheat on you. The best you can do is to keep up your end of the bargain. Because you never really will ever know. 

On top of that, lets say you do decide to fight for her...where does that leave you? You basically convinced someone that didn't originally need you to start caring about you?

Nah holmes. 

She wants me or not. Thats it and thats all there ever was. All that extra energy is just delusional. 

That's where I was going Anton. Of course you can't make anybody not cheat on you, nor know fully if somebody is cheating on you
or not. But if you do hold up your end of the bargain, the other person is also more likely to hold up there's, especially with how much
each person would be investing in the relationship. So pretty much if a guy (or girl) is handling their business, the other partner more
than likely will be faithful. And if not, take it in stride.

 

[antonlavey]

Originally Posted by Peep Game

Originally Posted by sillyputty

Originally Posted by AntonLaVey


um I don't know where your going with this, but my point was there's no way of knowing for sure whether or not you're getting cheated on

This is how I approach life.
I will NOT fight for you.

You either want to be with me or not. 




You can't make someone NOT cheat on you. The best you can do is to keep up your end of the bargain. Because you never really will ever know. 

On top of that, lets say you do decide to fight for her...where does that leave you? You basically convinced someone that didn't originally need you to start caring about you?

Nah holmes. 

She wants me or not. Thats it and thats all there ever was. All that extra energy is just delusional. 

That's where I was going Anton. Of course you can't make anybody not cheat on you, nor know fully if somebody is cheating on you
or not. But if you do hold up your end of the bargain, the other person is also more likely to hold up there's, especially with how much
each person would be investing in the relationship. So pretty much if a guy (or girl) is handling their business, the other partner more
than likely will be faithful. And if not, take it in stride.

Hmm, there are many people in relationships that hold up their end of the bargain that don't get the same in return but I suppose it does make it "more likely"

Many people in relationships don't discuss expectations beforehand, and when those expectations aren't met people start to stray-with men it's a little less complicated, a man can be satisfied in a relationship and still desire to quench his carnal urges

 

[danzinreallife]

Originally Posted by GrimlocK

Originally Posted by WISEPHAROAH

I would like to clarify that I did not say ALL I said 95% which is not an exaggeration. I literally only know of two girls that were 100% single. Girls that told me they were going to marry and wanted to marry their dude still wanted to have sexual relations with me. I made a post about how I was at my homegirls house laying in the bed with her while she was on the phone with her dude and I had to use every fiber of my being not to put her on blast because she was trying to test me if I really wanted to hit. To the statement of "cheating was just as prevalent back in the day" I completely disagree and know this is false. Now don't get me wrong men ALWAYS cheated in high frequency but women would get socially cast out if they cheated or even flirted back in the day. I have conversations with older women all the time about how they view our generation of women and they are dumbfounded by how "sloppy" and "wild" they are. Our society is the most liberal its ever been in history so how you can compare the past to now makes no sense to me. Look at how many bi sexual chicks there are now. Ya'll have to be really sheltered to actually think these @+!%!* ain't getting down. Ask yourself, how many people do you know that have the resolve while in a relationship to deny someone who they think is better looking, more "successful", gives them more attention etc than their bf/gf and isn't going to cheat? Especially when the relationship hits a ruff patch which is a part of relationships. Now factor in the fact that even average chicks get hollered at atleast 10 times a week. Count in youth and immaturity and you have a recipe for disaster, hell some of your bestfriends and family wouldn't ride for you till the wheels fall off in this day in age so why would a female? Like I said honorable people in GENERAL are a rarity in our current paradigm. I do believe in true love and honor yet still but at some point you have to be realistic. True unconditional love outside of immediate family and the closest of friends is ultra ultra rare. You're naive if you think not.

But homie your naive in thinking that your own family and friends love you unconditionally.  I remember a discussion about this thought of unconditional and it just does not exist.  Everything is conditional.
In my own case i've come across 5 couples that have stuck together since we were in h.s. and that's like 10 years ago.  I think you dudes are perpetuating the thought of "rarity" of good females because all you mess with is scalliwags, no matter how proper they dress and talk a scalliwag is a scalliwag.

With this said, I don't want to make it seem like I haven't seen my share of failed relationships, but most of the ones i've witnessed didn't end because of cheating...moreso insecurity, mood swings, family, and other stupid reasons...and I live in nyc which is a mecca for all types of heinous stuff.

If I could give any type of advice to NT'ers reading this is that you really really gotta take all the stories and advice you read from this site or others with a BOTTLE of salt.  I don't take anything personally or anything that holds a substantial amount of weight when it's not first hand experience.  You can listen to advice, and use your rationale and judgement to determine the quality of the advice, but besides that you should go with your instinct/premonitions.  If it doesn't feel right, get rid of it.

JewSee your right when you say that one action shouldn't label you as something...in fact i'm against labels in general.  But when you say you cheated AND you love your girl...thats a stretch but i'm not in your shoes but from my pov you may love your girl...but like I hinted at before...your love is conditional...being that you found some finer P than you were getting and you jumped on it, then you prob found out that the girl you jumped on was lackin in some respect and you went back to your og girl.  If that's love then you done changed the game playa.

 A man after my own heart

 so much truth in Grim's words.

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I wish Wise Pharoah would break his speeches up into paragraphs

I've never cheated and never will. Like Sol said, if I wanted to cheat then I would end my relationship before I started my pursuit.


My last bf cheated on me. It must have been about half way through the relationship and I only found out after it had ended because he'd been gloating about it to a friend and it eventually got back to me. If I'd have found out when I was still with him I'd have been devastated/super mad; but because I didn't I considered it another strike to his name.

Regardless, cheating sucks.

 

[raptors29]

Originally Posted by AntonLaVey

Most dudes I know in relationships do-So my answer for men is yes-I think most men cheat or would cheat if they had a chance

The verdict is still out on women, I'd say like 50 percent of women cheat

I'm still curious to the reasons why some women cheat 

 

[antonlavey]

Originally Posted by raptors29

Originally Posted by AntonLaVey

Most dudes I know in relationships do-So my answer for men is yes-I think most men cheat or would cheat if they had a chance

The verdict is still out on women, I'd say like 50 percent of women cheat

I'm still curious to the reasons why some women cheat 

-Not satisfied sexually
-Not satisfied emotionally
-Found someone more attractive, with more money, etc
-Doesn't really love her partner

Is this really a mystery?

 

[Peep Game]

Originally Posted by AntonLaVey

Originally Posted by Peep Game

Originally Posted by sillyputty


This is how I approach life.
I will NOT fight for you.

You either want to be with me or not. 




You can't make someone NOT cheat on you. The best you can do is to keep up your end of the bargain. Because you never really will ever know. 

On top of that, lets say you do decide to fight for her...where does that leave you? You basically convinced someone that didn't originally need you to start caring about you?

Nah holmes. 

She wants me or not. Thats it and thats all there ever was. All that extra energy is just delusional. 

Hmm, there are many people in relationships that hold up their end of the bargain that don't get the same in return but I suppose it does make it "more likely"

Many people in relationships don't discuss expectations beforehand, and when those expectations aren't met people start to stray-with men it's a little less complicated, a man can be satisfied in a relationship and still desire to quench his carnal urges

Very true on both, but that's a reason you can't truly give 100% of yourself to somebody. People like to think they do, but you have
have in the back of your mind that anything can happen. I guess it's a way of saving yourself from heartache, making straying less
devestating. You can do all you can for the relationship, and if it falls through with things you can't control, that's just how it is. You
just know in your heart that you did do your part, and it probably just wasn't meant to be.  

  

 

[raptors29]

Originally Posted by AntonLaVey

Originally Posted by raptors29

Originally Posted by AntonLaVey

Most dudes I know in relationships do-So my answer for men is yes-I think most men cheat or would cheat if they had a chance

The verdict is still out on women, I'd say like 50 percent of women cheat

I'm still curious to the reasons why some women cheat 

-Not satisfied sexually
-Not satisfied emotionally
-Found someone more attractive, with more money, etc
-Doesn't really love her partner

Is this really a mystery?

They're so secretive though

 

[mytmouse76]

Originally Posted by raptors29

Originally Posted by AntonLaVey

Originally Posted by raptors29


I'm still curious to the reasons why some women cheat 

-Not satisfied sexually
-Not satisfied emotionally
-Found someone more attractive, with more money, etc
-Doesn't really love her partner

Is this really a mystery?

They're so secretive though

not our fault yall suck at it

 

[devildog1776]

Originally Posted by Buc Em

I've probably #@#**% more girls with boyfriends than without.

/THREAD

 

[speakup23]

Originally Posted by raptors29

Originally Posted by AntonLaVey

Originally Posted by raptors29


I'm still curious to the reasons why some women cheat 

-Not satisfied sexually
-Not satisfied emotionally
-Found someone more attractive, with more money, etc
-Doesn't really love her partner

Is this really a mystery?

They're so secretive though

 

[antonlavey]

Originally Posted by mytmouse76

Originally Posted by raptors29

Originally Posted by AntonLaVey


-Not satisfied sexually
-Not satisfied emotionally
-Found someone more attractive, with more money, etc
-Doesn't really love her partner

Is this really a mystery?

They're so secretive though

not our fault yall suck at it

Word I know dudes who cheat on their gf with someone in the same block radius-at least leave town if you're going to have an affair-smh

 

[Remy LeBeau]

Originally Posted by keithsweatsjordans

Originally Posted by LyonBC1

Originally Posted by carbon16

I look at it like this,
If you're willing to cheat on someone you're obviously in a relationship with someone you don't respect, which makes me wonder why you're in a relationship with someone like that in the first place. That's just me tho.

Preach

This is oversimplifying it though. Have you never lied to your parents/friends/loved ones? You must not respect them then

You're really comparing a lie to kissing and/or sleeping with someone outside your relationship? Is there a consequence for not-cheating? If so please explain.....

Not saying its right but when someone lies its because they fear the consequences that will arise from telling the truth. When someone cheats it has nothing to do with the consequences of not cheating because there are none. Once again, I'm not saying that lying is wrong but it's totally different from cheating. Can you really compare telling your friend you ate Taco Bell last thursday when in reality you ate McDonalds to kissing/sleeping with another women? And last but not least, can you truly tell me that you can cheat on someone and still respect them during that time?

 

[keithsweatsjordans]

Originally Posted by carbon16

Originally Posted by keithsweatsjordans

Originally Posted by LyonBC1

Preach

This is oversimplifying it though. Have you never lied to your parents/friends/loved ones? You must not respect them then

You're really comparing a lie to kissing and/or sleeping with someone outside your relationship? Is there a consequence for not-cheating? If so please explain.....

Not saying its right but when someone lies its because they fear the consequences that will arise from telling the truth. When someone cheats it has nothing to do with the consequences of not cheating because there are none. Once again, I'm not saying that lying is wrong but it's totally different from cheating. Can you really compare telling your friend you ate Taco Bell last thursday when in reality you ate McDonalds to kissing/sleeping with another women? And last but not least, can you truly tell me that you can cheat on someone and still respect them during that time?

The consequence of not cheating is foregoing the pleasure of doing what you wanted to do. The same applies to lying to ones parents. My mom told me to never to do coke. I have done coke. The hurt my uber-religous mom would feel knowing that is probably equal to the hurt one would feel knowing they'd been cheated on. Are you gonna tell me I don't respect nor love my mom? The same principle applies man...ask anyone who's been cheated on and most will tell you that it was the deception that hurt the most, so in that regard yes I am comparing cheating to a lie; they're basically one in the same.

In no way am I saying cheating is right, but you mean to tell me you've never done something in the moment because you really wanted to, knowing the consequences could be unfavorable for you? Why is it so hard to believe you can still love and respect someone and cheat on them? Respect is not something you can universally define and quantify; what constitutes having respect for a person can change from one individual to another. I refuse to let some random dude on a message board tell me what I can and cannot feel. If I've cheated on a girl and still felt that I loved her, how the hell can you tell me otherwise? Because you aren't capable of it, that means I'm not either? How does that work?

 

[justinnikes]

I'm gonna be with my girl till her hair turn gray and I ain't @!#$#!' no other broad

 

[speakup23]

Originally Posted by keithsweatsjordans

Originally Posted by carbon16

Originally Posted by keithsweatsjordans

This is oversimplifying it though. Have you never lied to your parents/friends/loved ones? You must not respect them then

You're really comparing a lie to kissing and/or sleeping with someone outside your relationship? Is there a consequence for not-cheating? If so please explain.....

Not saying its right but when someone lies its because they fear the consequences that will arise from telling the truth. When someone cheats it has nothing to do with the consequences of not cheating because there are none. Once again, I'm not saying that lying is wrong but it's totally different from cheating. Can you really compare telling your friend you ate Taco Bell last thursday when in reality you ate McDonalds to kissing/sleeping with another women? And last but not least, can you truly tell me that you can cheat on someone and still respect them during that time?

The consequence of not cheating is foregoing the pleasure of doing what you wanted to do. The same applies to lying to ones parents. My mom told me to never to do coke. I have done coke. The hurt my uber-religous mom would feel knowing that is probably equal to the hurt one would feel knowing they'd been cheated on. Are you gonna tell me I don't respect nor love my mom? The same principle applies man...ask anyone who's been cheated on and most will tell you that it was the deception that hurt the most, so in that regard yes I am comparing cheating to a lie; they're basically one in the same.

In no way am I saying cheating is right, but you mean to tell me you've never done something in the moment because you really wanted to, knowing the consequences could be unfavorable for you? Why is it so hard to believe you can still love and respect someone and cheat on them? Respect is not something you can universally define and quantify; what constitutes having respect for a person can change from one individual to another. I refuse to let some random dude on a message board tell me what I can and cannot feel. If I've cheated on a girl and still felt that I loved her, how the hell can you tell me otherwise? Because you aren't capable of it, that means I'm not either? How does that work?

Bottom line is that if you cheat on someone you dont respect them. Cheating suggest that, ok this is what Im want to do and Im going to do it regardless of how you feel about it, whether it may hurt you or not. If you loved and RESPECTED their feelings, you wouldnt hurt their feelings and betray them.

 

[diplomat007]

been that dude to cheat and act stupid behind my chicks back before , i just started dating chicks i was more into easy fix