Does everyone cheat in relationships?

[keithsweatsjordans]

Originally Posted by SpeakUp23

Originally Posted by keithsweatsjordans

Originally Posted by carbon16

You're really comparing a lie to kissing and/or sleeping with someone outside your relationship? Is there a consequence for not-cheating? If so please explain.....

Not saying its right but when someone lies its because they fear the consequences that will arise from telling the truth. When someone cheats it has nothing to do with the consequences of not cheating because there are none. Once again, I'm not saying that lying is wrong but it's totally different from cheating. Can you really compare telling your friend you ate Taco Bell last thursday when in reality you ate McDonalds to kissing/sleeping with another women? And last but not least, can you truly tell me that you can cheat on someone and still respect them during that time?

The consequence of not cheating is foregoing the pleasure of doing what you wanted to do. The same applies to lying to ones parents. My mom told me to never to do coke. I have done coke. The hurt my uber-religous mom would feel knowing that is probably equal to the hurt one would feel knowing they'd been cheated on. Are you gonna tell me I don't respect nor love my mom? The same principle applies man...ask anyone who's been cheated on and most will tell you that it was the deception that hurt the most, so in that regard yes I am comparing cheating to a lie; they're basically one in the same.

In no way am I saying cheating is right, but you mean to tell me you've never done something in the moment because you really wanted to, knowing the consequences could be unfavorable for you? Why is it so hard to believe you can still love and respect someone and cheat on them? Respect is not something you can universally define and quantify; what constitutes having respect for a person can change from one individual to another. I refuse to let some random dude on a message board tell me what I can and cannot feel. If I've cheated on a girl and still felt that I loved her, how the hell can you tell me otherwise? Because you aren't capable of it, that means I'm not either? How does that work?

Bottom line is that if you cheat on someone you dont respect them. Cheating suggest that, ok this is what Im want to do and Im going to do it regardless of how you feel about it, whether it may hurt you or not. If you loved and RESPECTED their feelings, you wouldnt hurt their feelings and betray them.

So again I ask, have you done everything your parents told you to do for your entire life? If not, based on your argument you don't respect them. Amirite?

 

[Remy LeBeau]

Originally Posted by keithsweatsjordans

Originally Posted by carbon16

Originally Posted by keithsweatsjordans

This is oversimplifying it though. Have you never lied to your parents/friends/loved ones? You must not respect them then

You're really comparing a lie to kissing and/or sleeping with someone outside your relationship? Is there a consequence for not-cheating? If so please explain.....

Not saying its right but when someone lies its because they fear the consequences that will arise from telling the truth. When someone cheats it has nothing to do with the consequences of not cheating because there are none. Once again, I'm not saying that lying is wrong but it's totally different from cheating. Can you really compare telling your friend you ate Taco Bell last thursday when in reality you ate McDonalds to kissing/sleeping with another women? And last but not least, can you truly tell me that you can cheat on someone and still respect them during that time?

The consequence of not cheating is foregoing the pleasure of doing what you wanted to do. The same applies to lying to ones parents. My mom told me to never to do coke. I have done coke. The hurt my uber-religous mom would feel knowing that is probably equal to the hurt one would feel knowing they'd been cheated on. Are you gonna tell me I don't respect nor love my mom? The same principle applies man...ask anyone who's been cheated on and most will tell you that it was the deception that hurt the most, so in that regard yes I am comparing cheating to a lie; they're basically one in the same.

In no way am I saying cheating is right, but you mean to tell me you've never done something in the moment because you really wanted to, knowing the consequences could be unfavorable for you? Why is it so hard to believe you can still love and respect someone and cheat on them? Respect is not something you can universally define and quantify; what constitutes having respect for a person can change from one individual to another. I refuse to let some random dude on a message board tell me what I can and cannot feel. If I've cheated on a girl and still felt that I loved her, how the hell can you tell me otherwise? Because you aren't capable of it, that means I'm not either? How does that work?

That's not a consequence when your in a relationship because you're aware that you're exclusive to that one person and cheating is wrong before hand so you forgo you're freedom to sleep with other women without repercussion. Looking at what I wrote we would be comparing your mother's pain to the pain you would have for not cheating, not to the pain of someone who has been cheated on (maybe I wasn't clear) so in that regard it's not the same. If you're an adult and out on your own and your mother tells you not to do coke you never forgo your freedom to do coke. The things you put into your body are not exclusive to what your mother says is ok but kissing,sex,etc between you and your girl is exclusive (unless otherwise stated). The religious part doesn't matter unless you're religious also and even then that's between you and your higher power. Whats hard to believe is someone who can say/think "I respect my girl and all but im still about to get them cheeks from ole girl down the street"

im not talking about after the damage is done and you've already felt sorry for yourself im saying before/during the act. And I never told you "what you can and cannot feel" I simply gave my opinion on how I view the topic like everybody else.

 

[kix4kix]

Originally Posted by AntonLaVey

Originally Posted by mytmouse76

Originally Posted by raptors29

They're so secretive though

not our fault yall suck at it

Word I know dudes who cheat on their gf with someone in the same block radius-at least leave town if you're going to have an affair-smh

My dude literally messes with a bird about 3 blocks from his main, can see her crib from his girls and everything 

 

[13saldana13]

Originally Posted by sillyputty

Originally Posted by AntonLaVey

Originally Posted by Peep Game




That's basically an out for "Well since she may be cheating on me, I may as well do the same"
  

um I don't know where your going with this, but my point was there's no way of knowing for sure whether or not you're getting cheated on

This is how I approach life.
I will NOT fight for you.

You either want to be with me or not. 

You can't make someone NOT cheat on you. The best you can do is to keep up your end of the bargain. Because you never really will ever know. 

On top of that, lets say you do decide to fight for her...where does that leave you? You basically convinced someone that didn't originally need you to start caring about you?

Nah holmes. 

She wants me or not. Thats it and thats all there ever was. All that extra energy is just delusional. 

this post should be stickied so everyone can read it. i've seen this question asked so many times on niketalk. absorb the knowledge this man has given you and learn from it. even if you mess up, dont forget what this guy told you. the world needs better families, listen to this man!!!

 

[kix4kix]

Originally Posted by justinnikes

I'm gonna be with my girl till her hair turn gray and I ain't @!#$#!' no other broad

 

[Remy LeBeau]

Originally Posted by justinnikes

I'm gonna be with my girl till her hair turn gray and I ain't @!#$#!' no other broad

Salute


that avi tho

 

[jking0821]

Originally Posted by 13saldana13

Originally Posted by sillyputty

Originally Posted by AntonLaVey


um I don't know where your going with this, but my point was there's no way of knowing for sure whether or not you're getting cheated on

This is how I approach life.
I will NOT fight for you.

You either want to be with me or not. 

You can't make someone NOT cheat on you. The best you can do is to keep up your end of the bargain. Because you never really will ever know. 

On top of that, lets say you do decide to fight for her...where does that leave you? You basically convinced someone that didn't originally need you to start caring about you?

Nah holmes. 

She wants me or not. Thats it and thats all there ever was. All that extra energy is just delusional. 

this post should be stickied so everyone can read it. i've seen this question asked so many times on niketalk. absorb the knowledge this man has given you and learn from it. even if you mess up, dont forget what this guy told you. the world needs better families, listen to this man!!!

This makes things way too black and white.  It isn't that easy.  A lot of girls want to be fought for.  And will distance themselves to see if you really want them.  And if you say oh i won't fight for you and they say then i will find some one that will what do you do.  If you really love this girl.....o i will find another one.

Don't let arrogance cause you to lose something you love. This is coming from a very "I am better then you" mentality IMO.  A relationship has to be worked on and sometimes you have to fight for what you love.

I still believe in the male urge/nature theory.  And I believe the that women can't ever understand it because we are different.  That is why it is so hard to be in these "open relationships" because if it was possible to have an every day girl.  That you hang with and completely fulfills you mentally.  But you can sleep with another girl on pure impulse and still always have the girl that you really truely love there.  I think 75% of men would do it.  But i think 10% of women would agree to that. 

It's like the same way white people can never fully understand what it means to feel racism.  (yes i am white if that matters).  But i know there are things that can not be fully understood unless you experience them.  And i believe men can have sex with some one and still fully love their significant other.

 

[da r entertainment]

Have I cheated in the past, YES, but will I do it to my current wife, NO.  I've seen the damage it does to homes so it's really not worth it at the end of the day IMO.

 

[the anomolie]

People gotta stop justifying there reasons for cheating. You doing it because everybody else does it?

 

[henz0]

Yes

 

[tony montana]

I do.

 

[xfile 11]

I'm nearly 31 and have never cheated on any one I have been with.

Most of my friends have cheated on their girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband....  Its sad.  The older you get the more you see.

I can't say I am entirely innocent as I was involved with a married woman for nearly 4 years..... idiot I am.

 

[al audi]

Originally Posted by xfile 11

I'm nearly 31 and have never cheated on any one I have been with.

Most of my friends have cheated on their girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband....  Its sad.  The older you get the more you see.

I can't say I am entirely innocent as I was involved with a married woman for nearly 4 years..... idiot I am.

nope youre just as bad as everyone else 

 

[ce0 mal]

I'm gonna be with my girl till her hair turn gray and I ain't @!#$#!' no other broad



This.

 

[nktran001]

Originally Posted by justinnikes

I'm gonna be with my girl till her hair turn gray and I ain't @!#$#!' no other broad

You can cheat in many other ways.

 

[cole world]

Yes, everyone does it. Why?

probably to remember why youre with someone, Why?

I dont know. lol

 

[scshift]

Originally Posted by sillyputty

This is how I approach life.
I will NOT fight for you.

You either want to be with me or not. 

You can't make someone NOT cheat on you. The best you can do is to keep up your end of the bargain. Because you never really will ever know. 

On top of that, lets say you do decide to fight for her...where does that leave you? You basically convinced someone that didn't originally need you to start caring about you?

Nah holmes. 

She wants me or not. Thats it and thats all there ever was. All that extra energy is just delusional. 

This is exactly how I feel about anyone, regardless of just a relationship. I actually made a thread just like this a while back.

Contrary to what others say, I don't think there's any reason why I should work or chase after someone. What do they have that makes me want to chase after them? Attractiveness... okay, sure but eventually I'll just find another attractive girl who doesn't make me jump through hoops. Her personality? Well to me, making me chase after you while you play hard-to-get games doesn't make me like your personality.

There's no incentive for me to chase after someone. This isn't like a job offer where I need to put in effort to persuade the boss I'm a good candidate. This is a relationship... if I need to persuade you that I'm worthy, well then I'm probably in the wrong place. You aren't a queen, so I'm not going to go out of my way to please you and try and get you to like me.

 

[youngdoc]

Originally Posted by scshift

Originally Posted by sillyputty

This is how I approach life.
I will NOT fight for you.

You either want to be with me or not. 

You can't make someone NOT cheat on you. The best you can do is to keep up your end of the bargain. Because you never really will ever know. 

On top of that, lets say you do decide to fight for her...where does that leave you? You basically convinced someone that didn't originally need you to start caring about you?

Nah holmes. 

She wants me or not. Thats it and thats all there ever was. All that extra energy is just delusional. 

This is exactly how I feel about anyone, regardless of just a relationship. I actually made a thread just like this a while back.

Contrary to what others say, I don't think there's any reason why I should work or chase after someone. What do they have that makes me want to chase after them? Attractiveness... okay, sure but eventually I'll just find another attractive girl who doesn't make me jump through hoops. Her personality? Well to me, making me chase after you while you play hard-to-get games doesn't make me like your personality.

There's no incentive for me to chase after someone. This isn't like a job offer where I need to put in effort to persuade the boss I'm a good candidate. This is a relationship... if I need to persuade you that I'm worthy, well then I'm probably in the wrong place. You aren't a queen, so I'm not going to go out of my way to please you and try and get you to like me.

I feel you on that. I have never chased anyone for a relationship. It's all about mutual attractiveness/vibing/going with the flow

 

[sillyputty]

Originally Posted by Jking0821

Originally Posted by 13saldana13

Originally Posted by sillyputty


This is how I approach life.
I will NOT fight for you.

You either want to be with me or not. 

You can't make someone NOT cheat on you. The best you can do is to keep up your end of the bargain. Because you never really will ever know. 

On top of that, lets say you do decide to fight for her...where does that leave you? You basically convinced someone that didn't originally need you to start caring about you?

Nah holmes. 

She wants me or not. Thats it and thats all there ever was. All that extra energy is just delusional. 

this post should be stickied so everyone can read it. i've seen this question asked so many times on niketalk. absorb the knowledge this man has given you and learn from it. even if you mess up, dont forget what this guy told you. the world needs better families, listen to this man!!!

This makes things way too black and white.  It isn't that easy.  A lot of girls want to be fought for.  And will distance themselves to see if you really want them.  And if you say oh i won't fight for you and they say then i will find some one that will what do you do.  If you really love this girl.....o i will find another one.

Don't let arrogance cause you to lose something you love. This is coming from a very "I am better then you" mentality IMO.  A relationship has to be worked on and sometimes you have to fight for what you love.

I still believe in the male urge/nature theory.  And I believe the that women can't ever understand it because we are different.  That is why it is so hard to be in these "open relationships" because if it was possible to have an every day girl.  That you hang with and completely fulfills you mentally.  But you can sleep with another girl on pure impulse and still always have the girl that you really truely love there.  I think 75% of men would do it.  But i think 10% of women would agree to that. 

It's like the same way white people can never fully understand what it means to feel racism.  (yes i am white if that matters).  But i know there are things that can not be fully understood unless you experience them.  And i believe men can have sex with some one and still fully love their significant other.

There is a difference between getting to know a woman and showing her that you're who she needs to get with and having her continually string you along with no end in sight.



I'm saying that I will NOT  keep you here. I will do everything I can to make you happy and try to show you how much I care continually, but I will not hold you back. If you want to leave you will and I can't convince you to stay.




I know you will find other men attractive. You will go to work, you will go shopping, you will see something you like...but I'm not going to be with you 24 hours of the day some times. 




She will be on her own and she has to maintain what we have outside of me seeing her. If you don't have the confidence to accept this then you're just as insecure as she is. 




This isn't arrogance. If you love someone you will do anything you can but there is a certain point that you can't love someone more than they love you. If you for a second don't feel that its mutual then you're wasting your time. 




You can't MAKE someone do something. You can try to persuade them to do what they were already going to do...but more than likely most of the time they already had their minds made up.




Think of how much someone is thinking before they come out and say something like "we should take a break"... they've been running through the scenarios, they've probably asked their friends, they've seen other options... 




Telling you is the LAST stage. By that time, you were the last person to technically find out. Her support system was in place already to plan for ya'lls downfall. 




This is what I mean. I will NOT fight for you. Once you've made up your mind and indicated that you are certain in your conclusion its out of my hands. 




YOu can't make every girl in the club go home with you...its the same mentality. The most you can do is put in YOUR bid... they were either going to go already or not. 







Again you're just trying to weasel out of the justification of what you're saying and move the goal-posts. 




Stop changing defintions. Its either an exclusive relationship or its not.




I understand that as mammals its odd that we've sociologically developed this concept of monogamy but it is what it is...you either subscribe to it or you don't or you find someone that is cool with your outlook. 




Making up statistics doesn't substantiate your claims either. 




You are either in denial or you are willingly ignorant. 




Horrible analogy. 




Just admit that your girl isn't keeping you interested but you want to keep the constant poon on the side...because its ONLY about sex at that point...and thats not a good enough reason to cheat IMO. 




If you're going to cheat you might as well get in a relationship with the other chick. 

 

[Peep Game]

^^^I like you color coding your responses

, and definitely agree with every one those. People have to stop justifying
their cheating, stop being overly insecure, while at the same time not being overconfident about their relationships. You just
have to be aware that anything can happen, but know you're doing your part in the relationship.

 

[Remy LeBeau]

Originally Posted by Peep Game

^^^I like you color coding your responses

, and definitely agree with every one those. People have to stop justifying
their cheating, stop being overly insecure, while at the same time not being overconfident about their relationships. You just
have to be aware that anything can happen, but know you're doing your part in the relationship.

Cosign

 

[hazeleyed honey]

blazinRook wrote:
people are so quick to lower their morals and excuse their faults on the norms of society. if one does this..its just a sign of weakness because it shows that one can not think for themselves. 

i just wish people would hold themselves to a higher standard. Have a higher sense of respect for themselves and have a higher sense of

respect for their neighbor. (even if your neighbor doesn't do the same, be better than them) "an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind"


This. 
It has more to do with people's moral standards and characters in doing what they do.

Not everyone cheats. I know that if I get in a committed relationship and I truly love my significant other, I can't do it.

It is kind of scary because I would say most men that try to get at me have girlfriends. A few I would find out AFTER they have girlfriends. 

It is all about knowing your self-worth and valuing yourself enough to know you deserve better to not let others treat you like %!!!, whether in social interactions or relationships. It is also about being the best person/human being you can be in upholding those virtues and standards you would want others to uphold in how they treat you. 

 

[i3]

Karma will get you.

 

[T0INE]

Good stuff sillyputty.

 

[fully calibrated]

Will come back to this later.