- Feb 25, 2010
- 24,954
- 23,302
Repped.
EDIT 3: Why do successful black women think successful men care about their money?
- Thread in 'General' Thread starter Started by createdestroy,
- Start date
- Status
Repped.
- Feb 5, 2013
- 8,296
- 7,535
- Sep 21, 2012
- 12,610
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Brolic, I ain't know you in San Diego. I'm from San Diego what part you stay in?
jordan23dotcom
Banned
- Apr 5, 2006
- 5,711
- 1,112
Because they're not really "successful"
- Sep 16, 2010
- 5,236
- 7,573
Yeah, their expectations are unrealistic. I will say that we as people shouldn't settle for less, but it got to be realistic. My only pet peeve on finding a successful lady is, they must not have kids and they must be short , (I'm 6'4" if that matters) and obviously educated. Everything else, I will just let it fall in place.
- Jun 21, 2005
- 10,015
- 11,483
Broads out here want the world but ain't even willing to cook a brotha dinner.
My cousin is EXACTLY like the women in that video tho. She works for a Pharm comp and makes 100K+, and expects a man to have at least an equal paying job + height + master's degree + no kids + attractive to her
The last dude she dated was like 4 years ago and he left her cuz she said..."If we move in together we would need at least a 4000 sq foot house, since mine by itself is 2000" :x
Needless to say her goofy *** is still single than a mutha***** and pushing 34. My mom and aunt keep tellin her that clock is ticking but she ain't trying to her it.
My cousin is EXACTLY like the women in that video tho. She works for a Pharm comp and makes 100K+, and expects a man to have at least an equal paying job + height + master's degree + no kids + attractive to her
The last dude she dated was like 4 years ago and he left her cuz she said..."If we move in together we would need at least a 4000 sq foot house, since mine by itself is 2000" :x
Needless to say her goofy *** is still single than a mutha***** and pushing 34. My mom and aunt keep tellin her that clock is ticking but she ain't trying to her it.
- Oct 31, 2009
- 28,820
- 12,041
If the black men arent qualified for them, what's stopping them from dating other races? Why is it a prerequisite that black women and men have to get together exclusively?
- May 15, 2003
- 56,907
- 66,261
I bet the good looking ones don't have a big problem
Musical chairs
Now the less desirable, big and non attractive ones.....
And some just have bad taste in men, and then blame the men and not themselves for picking certain men.
Musical chairs
Now the less desirable, big and non attractive ones.....
And some just have bad taste in men, and then blame the men and not themselves for picking certain men.
- Nov 30, 2002
- 8,231
- 704
Broads out here want the world but ain't even willing to cook a brotha dinner.
My cousin is EXACTLY like the women in that video tho. She works for a Pharm comp and makes 100K+, and expects a man to have at least an equal paying job + height + master's degree + no kids + attractive to her
The last dude she dated was like 4 years ago and he left her cuz she said..."If we move in together we would need at least a 4000 sq foot house, since mine by itself is 2000" :x
Needless to say her goofy *** is still single than a mutha***** and pushing 34. My mom and aunt keep tellin her that clock is ticking but she ain't trying to her it.
Debate it if you must, I personally love my black women, but a men will ish on them, almost subconsciously. They already have an uphill battle to climb outside of their race. I think a lot of Black women are now starting to understand the gravity of what's going on but there is still a lot of work to be done .
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- Jun 21, 2005
- 10,015
- 11,483
Because A.) To many successful, middle/upper class men of other races bringing home a black woman isn't a option they be shunned by their fam and B.) Hella black women got too much attitude and anger for a man who hasn't been around black woman his whole life. Hell some of these broads come with too much baggage and ******.. even for me.
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Top Boy
formerly jay patt
- Feb 5, 2013
- 8,405
- 5,623
Came in here to flame the hell out of these types of women...
But everything I wanted to say has been said.
Rubies thinking they deserve diamonds
But everything I wanted to say has been said.
Rubies thinking they deserve diamonds
jordan23dotcom
Banned
- Apr 5, 2006
- 5,711
- 1,112
Lol at your A response. You still live in 1950? As soon as black women realize race has nothing to do with it they'll start to be a lot better off.
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- Aug 23, 2005
- 2,506
- 109
I think this blog offers an insightful perspective on this issue. Not for people looking to discuss this issue while maintaining political correctness. This isn't what you're looking for. So read at your own risk/caution. It comments on this article from the Economist.
Why Is It So Hard To Find A Good Black Man To Marry?
Prologue here.
From The Economist:
1 in 9 black men in their 20s is in jail. And only a third of black women 30-44 are married. The study, Male Incarceration, The Marriage Market, and Female Outcomes, from which the above hypothetical is drawn estimates that for every percent of incarcerated men, there's a 2.4% drop in marriage rates.
You might say that the educated black women are not likely to marry the kind of men who are being incarcerated. Maybe, but besides the point: the key statistic is that 96% of black women marry black men, and if 10% are in jail, well, what is she supposed to do?
II.
Actually, it's not besides the point, it is the point. Other studies have tried to correlate the quality of eligible men to the overall marriage rate-- i.e. where are all the "good" black men? (Un)Surprisingly, they have mostly found little overall effect, with no explanation. In a normally functioning economy with a dwindling supply, women would be predicted to... settle. But the marriage rate would be high.
This paper is unique, however, because it correlates the actual number of men-- indeed, men precisely not high on the list of choice mates. Their absence has an effect not on the women, but on the men. There's less incentive to try harder. Or try at all.
Here's the missing sentence from The Economist quote:
Click the spoiler to continue reading.
Why Is It So Hard To Find A Good Black Man To Marry?
Prologue here.
From The Economist:
1 in 9 black men in their 20s is in jail. And only a third of black women 30-44 are married. The study, Male Incarceration, The Marriage Market, and Female Outcomes, from which the above hypothetical is drawn estimates that for every percent of incarcerated men, there's a 2.4% drop in marriage rates.
You might say that the educated black women are not likely to marry the kind of men who are being incarcerated. Maybe, but besides the point: the key statistic is that 96% of black women marry black men, and if 10% are in jail, well, what is she supposed to do?
II.
Actually, it's not besides the point, it is the point. Other studies have tried to correlate the quality of eligible men to the overall marriage rate-- i.e. where are all the "good" black men? (Un)Surprisingly, they have mostly found little overall effect, with no explanation. In a normally functioning economy with a dwindling supply, women would be predicted to... settle. But the marriage rate would be high.
This paper is unique, however, because it correlates the actual number of men-- indeed, men precisely not high on the list of choice mates. Their absence has an effect not on the women, but on the men. There's less incentive to try harder. Or try at all.
Here's the missing sentence from The Economist quote:
Click the spoiler to continue reading.
III.
Do I need to bring up the fact that a lot of (black) people spend months, sometimes years, in jail-- pre trial? Only to have a bench trial with a public defender who does not know their name, and who urges them to take the plea with time served?
IV.
Here's an illustrative example: 70% of black babies are born out of wedlock. They're obviously not all sired by inmates, so how does this happen? According to the study, the decreased pool of men- any men-- means the ones left become more valuable independent of their actual "quality" (as defined by behavior eligibility, etc.)
"I thought I was a catch," sighs an attractive black female doctor at a hospital in Washington, DC. Black men with good jobs know they are "a hot commodity", she observes. When there are six women chasing one man, "It's like, what are you going to do extra, to get his attention?" Some women offer sex on the first date, she says, which makes life harder for those who prefer to combine romance with commitment.
V.
There's also the problem of contagion. A black baby may be born into a loving set of educated parents, but what is the effect of simply knowing that a close relative-- say an uncle-- has been in the joint? Or, more commonly, that there are female relatives who have no choice but to raise a child on their own; and there are male relatives who don't have to live with their kids?
When a parent does something, it makes that action a potentiality in the world of the child. A parent who publishes a book-- even one that no one ever reads-- has, at least, placed writing a book into the range of possibilities. It works both ways.
A.
Behavioral economics is so much fun because by reducing the human condition to the impulses of inanimate objects, or at best rhesus monkeys, you get to ignore all that confusing stuff, like pornography, and its obviously non-existent effect on human desires. "They were maximizing a utility function!" And how.
Anyone else a little nervous about reducing black men to a commodity with binary utility? No? Just me? Sweet.
B.
If you didn't like that thought, you're going to hate this one: why does the black female doctor quoted above think she's "a catch?" Don't yell at me, all Glocks down-- what makes her a catch?
Because she's a doctor? But I don't know (m)any white women who think being a doctor increases their chances of finding a husband, makes them more appealing. Go over to the med school and ask the women what they think they're doing to their marrigeability. "A lot of men don't want a woman who's away all the time." "They're threatened." Or, my personal favorite: "oh my god, all they want are the nurses."
The answer is that since black women have been able to take on the very qualities they want in a man, they assume that the men would value these things in the same way. You may need to revisit that assumption.
C.
You may not be interested in TV, but TV is certainly interested in you. If black men of a certain type are taking their cues from media images, it's safe to assume the same for women. Right?
So what do we have? The unique, mandatory role for all black female personalities-- from Oprah to Wanda Sykes-- is to say "oh no you didn't" and move her neck back and forth sideways. Each woman may do it to varying degrees, and they are certainly allowed to do other things, but it is mandatory that they "keep it real" at least once per broadcast.
For fiction-- always more powerful-- we have: the spectrum of **** in music videos; there's the strong, quietly suffering, approaching middle age and beyond, and, of course, solitary black woman; and the educated and attractive black woman-- wherein "educated" is a descriptive proxy for "controlling" or "insane *****." Something on the order of Why Did I Get Married Too?- let's-break-some-****-because-he-lied bananas.
Let's say that media portrayals of "educated black women that can't get a man to commit"-- that's a brand-- storming over to his job and smashing things because of alleged infidelity does NOT make real women more likely to do this themselves. Fine. What I am certain it does do, however, is make that behavior less terrifying to black men. "Oh well, that's just what they do. She'll get over it."
The First Lady isn't any of these stereotypes, but suffers from the problem of being an actual person and not on CSI or a reality show, and thus can't be a role model. Sorry, I don't make the rules. So young girls can choose between Anita Van Buren or Omarosa. I'll say what you're all thinking: yikes.
View media item 503913
black tv ratings ...they're just like us?...
But aren't the black women in prime time strong and noble, even if there are only four types? On every medical drama on TV-- ER, Private Practice, Grey's, etc-- the only attractive, well educated females who aren't serially bedding/flooring men with Wicked rapidity are the black women. Every week, the black women struggle with/over the same man; and those men are always the best at what they do, the chiefs, the leaders. At some point, the men inevitably fall for a white woman. Not permanently, of course; nothing is permanently on TV.
Unfortunately for black women, these shows are scripted by white women. If black girls are watching TV, then they're getting their options from white women. The message is: our lot is to have a series of chaotic relationships in the search of a non-existent ideal; yours is to suffer over one.
IV.
The cycle-- for blacks and whites-- only ever gets broken in one of two ways. One is that this generation grows old and dies, and the next one gets its shot.
The second is that generation 1 stops raising generation 2 by proxy. Accept that what you do is more important than who you tell them you are. "I'm taking you to church right after I finish yelling at your mother." Ok, Dad. I'll be in the car.
V.
If a paucity of black men cause women to "up their game," settle, and be alone; and men to assume a cavalier, non-committal posture, one might ask what happens to a society with too many men.
Apparently, not the opposite. Why hasn't it become true that Chinese women are protected, elevated, catered to? That Chinese men have to "up their game" or settle?
It's an interesting question, one that will likely require a Chinese academic researcher to perform a similar study in her own country on her own people.
Do I need to bring up the fact that a lot of (black) people spend months, sometimes years, in jail-- pre trial? Only to have a bench trial with a public defender who does not know their name, and who urges them to take the plea with time served?
IV.
Here's an illustrative example: 70% of black babies are born out of wedlock. They're obviously not all sired by inmates, so how does this happen? According to the study, the decreased pool of men- any men-- means the ones left become more valuable independent of their actual "quality" (as defined by behavior eligibility, etc.)
"I thought I was a catch," sighs an attractive black female doctor at a hospital in Washington, DC. Black men with good jobs know they are "a hot commodity", she observes. When there are six women chasing one man, "It's like, what are you going to do extra, to get his attention?" Some women offer sex on the first date, she says, which makes life harder for those who prefer to combine romance with commitment.
V.
There's also the problem of contagion. A black baby may be born into a loving set of educated parents, but what is the effect of simply knowing that a close relative-- say an uncle-- has been in the joint? Or, more commonly, that there are female relatives who have no choice but to raise a child on their own; and there are male relatives who don't have to live with their kids?
When a parent does something, it makes that action a potentiality in the world of the child. A parent who publishes a book-- even one that no one ever reads-- has, at least, placed writing a book into the range of possibilities. It works both ways.
A.
Behavioral economics is so much fun because by reducing the human condition to the impulses of inanimate objects, or at best rhesus monkeys, you get to ignore all that confusing stuff, like pornography, and its obviously non-existent effect on human desires. "They were maximizing a utility function!" And how.
Anyone else a little nervous about reducing black men to a commodity with binary utility? No? Just me? Sweet.
B.
If you didn't like that thought, you're going to hate this one: why does the black female doctor quoted above think she's "a catch?" Don't yell at me, all Glocks down-- what makes her a catch?
Because she's a doctor? But I don't know (m)any white women who think being a doctor increases their chances of finding a husband, makes them more appealing. Go over to the med school and ask the women what they think they're doing to their marrigeability. "A lot of men don't want a woman who's away all the time." "They're threatened." Or, my personal favorite: "oh my god, all they want are the nurses."
The answer is that since black women have been able to take on the very qualities they want in a man, they assume that the men would value these things in the same way. You may need to revisit that assumption.
C.
You may not be interested in TV, but TV is certainly interested in you. If black men of a certain type are taking their cues from media images, it's safe to assume the same for women. Right?
So what do we have? The unique, mandatory role for all black female personalities-- from Oprah to Wanda Sykes-- is to say "oh no you didn't" and move her neck back and forth sideways. Each woman may do it to varying degrees, and they are certainly allowed to do other things, but it is mandatory that they "keep it real" at least once per broadcast.
For fiction-- always more powerful-- we have: the spectrum of **** in music videos; there's the strong, quietly suffering, approaching middle age and beyond, and, of course, solitary black woman; and the educated and attractive black woman-- wherein "educated" is a descriptive proxy for "controlling" or "insane *****." Something on the order of Why Did I Get Married Too?- let's-break-some-****-because-he-lied bananas.
Let's say that media portrayals of "educated black women that can't get a man to commit"-- that's a brand-- storming over to his job and smashing things because of alleged infidelity does NOT make real women more likely to do this themselves. Fine. What I am certain it does do, however, is make that behavior less terrifying to black men. "Oh well, that's just what they do. She'll get over it."
The First Lady isn't any of these stereotypes, but suffers from the problem of being an actual person and not on CSI or a reality show, and thus can't be a role model. Sorry, I don't make the rules. So young girls can choose between Anita Van Buren or Omarosa. I'll say what you're all thinking: yikes.
View media item 503913
black tv ratings ...they're just like us?...
But aren't the black women in prime time strong and noble, even if there are only four types? On every medical drama on TV-- ER, Private Practice, Grey's, etc-- the only attractive, well educated females who aren't serially bedding/flooring men with Wicked rapidity are the black women. Every week, the black women struggle with/over the same man; and those men are always the best at what they do, the chiefs, the leaders. At some point, the men inevitably fall for a white woman. Not permanently, of course; nothing is permanently on TV.
Unfortunately for black women, these shows are scripted by white women. If black girls are watching TV, then they're getting their options from white women. The message is: our lot is to have a series of chaotic relationships in the search of a non-existent ideal; yours is to suffer over one.
IV.
The cycle-- for blacks and whites-- only ever gets broken in one of two ways. One is that this generation grows old and dies, and the next one gets its shot.
The second is that generation 1 stops raising generation 2 by proxy. Accept that what you do is more important than who you tell them you are. "I'm taking you to church right after I finish yelling at your mother." Ok, Dad. I'll be in the car.
V.
If a paucity of black men cause women to "up their game," settle, and be alone; and men to assume a cavalier, non-committal posture, one might ask what happens to a society with too many men.
Apparently, not the opposite. Why hasn't it become true that Chinese women are protected, elevated, catered to? That Chinese men have to "up their game" or settle?
It's an interesting question, one that will likely require a Chinese academic researcher to perform a similar study in her own country on her own people.
- Oct 31, 2009
- 28,820
- 12,041
Just a random early morning thought, a coworker of mine (white) was bragging about how she only exclusively dates black men. She rambled about how they treat her right and her instagram is full of memes with barbie being held by a black ken and other **** like that. Those instagram pics are full of black commentors who slurp up her every word.
I applaud that she is up for interracial relations, but something doesnt feel right about it. Maybe she is rebelling, maybe she just gets more attention from black dudes then white ones. IDK, but something feels fake about the whole persona. Like she just thinks its cool or a trend or something. Like black dudes should be happier then hell because a white women openly likes them. Something about the way she, and a lot of other of the same kind of girls portray these kinds of feelings towards black dudes makes me uncomfortable.
and yes im black
I applaud that she is up for interracial relations, but something doesnt feel right about it. Maybe she is rebelling, maybe she just gets more attention from black dudes then white ones. IDK, but something feels fake about the whole persona. Like she just thinks its cool or a trend or something. Like black dudes should be happier then hell because a white women openly likes them. Something about the way she, and a lot of other of the same kind of girls portray these kinds of feelings towards black dudes makes me uncomfortable.
and yes im black
- Mar 17, 2010
- 5,584
- 974
it's called fetishism and I would be creeped out too
lordofcastamere
Banned
- Jun 3, 2013
- 1,323
- 258
- Jun 21, 2005
- 10,015
- 11,483
Republican John and Tommy with good jobs ain't bringing Shanequa to the crib bro no matter how educated she is, because they know their parents ain't going for that. Live in this fake *** post-racial world if you want to, but it doesn't exist, even Obama knows that.
My girl is damn near as light and "non-conforntational" looking as black women can get and she's been called a "n-word" & dealt with prejudice/racists situations on a regular basis and I live in a fairly liberal, diverse area. I can only imagine what's its like in somewhere like Alabama or Texas.
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- Aug 29, 2010
- 4,819
- 1,049
jordan23dotcom
Banned
- Apr 5, 2006
- 5,711
- 1,112
They won't or you won't? Also why are you thinking of the worst case black female exaggeration? If that's the case nobody wants a trailer park pregnant white teen mom either ....
- Jun 21, 2005
- 10,015
- 11,483
How did I think of the worst case exaggeration? I clearly said "educated" correct? Whether her name is Shaniqua or Traci or Jill, it doesn't matter. I'm not saying ALL, but I am saying a good number of middle-aged white parents ain't going for that and their sons know that. Just like a good number of middle-aged black parents ain't going for their successful black son bringing home a white woman.
I fully acknowledge the fact the "if she can't use the comb, don't bring her home" applies to both sides of the card. Am I saying it's right? No Does it exist? Of course. You're living in fantasy land if you think these convos don't go on in people's homes.
- Jul 7, 2005
- 17,914
- 8,170
Exactly. Folks have to realize, black women don't really have options like that as far as men outside of the black community. White dudes ain't checking for them, some Latino dudes might check for them, but they would rather go for a Latino woman, Asian dudes.............forget about it sistas. Now it's quite the opposite for black men because we have options, cause alot of other races know what the deal is. Now saying all that, I love black love and I want black women to met and get with black men if that's what they want. That being said black women are really going to have to get their act together out here if they want to be in a relationship with a black man. Otherwise these black women are going to be just there old and single aunts, and grandmothers and end up being old war-relationship veterans just like them.
- Apr 30, 2010
- 69,855
- 106,662
Part of the problem is they're not willing to stick with a ***** through his growth. They see better out there thinking they can get that then just end up with a rude awakening.
- Jul 19, 2012
- 2,729
- 2,369
I agree with your feeling. It sounds like the reverse of the social norm. It's just as closed minded as if she were just going to exclusively date white men, or Asian, or Hispanic. I'd feel funny about it too. It's one thing if she was cool with dating any race, but it's the tunnel vision of dating. There's a big difference between preference, and being picky.
in regards to the main topic: It's the age old story. Successful black women will only deal with a successful black man, but complain that a black man will date just about anything. They are concern of keeping the traditional black family in tact, but only when their variables are met. In a system where the Black male is meant to be held back, and a successful one is a blessing few in between, there are little second chances. A black male can come out of prision, and a well established woman would NEVER take him in. If the dude is successful, then he needs to make a certain amount, and if he dates outside his race, he's a sellout. (Note: There are a few that dismiss their culture in persuit of another, but that's another topic)
In short, nobody gives a **** about a black male in this society. Your a flavor of the month for a white woman, villified by the media, and too childish for the successful black woman.
gllahone84
Banned
- Jul 10, 2011
- 11,727
- 1,912
Yeah, hood dudes with fast money sometimes get in their ear..and they fall for it while in a relationship with a good dude.
They push the good dude to the side thinking they can come back once they finish ******g around...but most of the time they'll end up pregnant by the hood dude.
It's over then.
They push the good dude to the side thinking they can come back once they finish ******g around...but most of the time they'll end up pregnant by the hood dude.
It's over then.
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