engagement /marriage thread.

Interesting with the name thing. For me personally if i had to hyphenate my last name with bae's **** would be super long. But i'm torn i love my last name but i would be ok taking my future husbands. Work wise I don't think i would change because that would be a pain in the ***.
 
My wife kept her last name. Kids will have mine. She's in the medical field so having that seperate helps and she has all the certification and such. It's one of those how it's always done things but I had no problem.

Other open ended question to stir the pot.

Separate or joint all accounts?

We currently have a joint a savings but paychecks are going to current banking accounts.
 
We do separate and joint. Since I’m the primary income I pay the mortgage, cars, insurance, and primary savings and, college and retirement savings. My wife pays the other bills and also contributes to savings for other things like vacations and other stuff.
 
We have one joint savings account thats mainly for our closing costs on our house but we’ll use it as a rainy day fund once thats done. We have 5% of our paychecks direct deposited so something is always going in. The rest goes to our individual checking accounts and we throw more into the joint account based on our savings goals.

We have joint and individual financial goals. Once we’ve contributed to our bills and agreed upon obligations you are free to spend however you want. Its your money, enjoy it.
 
My wife kept her last name. Kids will have mine. She's in the medical field so having that seperate helps and she has all the certification and such. It's one of those how it's always done things but I had no problem.

Other open ended question to stir the pot.

Separate or joint all accounts?

We currently have a joint a savings but paychecks are going to current banking accounts.
With marriage, I feel each party should have their own separate accounts WHILE having a joint account for bills or whatever yall want to share.
 
We split all bills right down the middle

Have our own accounts and manage our own money, but we also have a joint checking and savings.

that sharing all accounts **** is not for me
I honestly don't see the point in it.

Csn someone explain why anyone wouldn't/shouldn't AT LEAST continue having their own account?

Read the question carefully.
 
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There a couple scenarios I can think of:
1) One or both parties have money management issues (ex. gambling, impulse buying) and go the joint route for transparency and accountability

2) They want to take advantage of high-yield checking/savings account but individually can’t meet the direct deposit or minimum balance amount so they go joint.

I do not see any practical reason to not maintain separate accounts that doesn’t involve trust issues. But that’s another convo...
 
Anyone ever go with asscher or cushion as a cut? Pros or cons or what’s better? And I know about bluenile for the actual diamond but what’s a good site for nice settings for the diamond itself?
 
As some one who works in retail banking I routinely counseled couples of having a joint account with agreed expenses and maintaining their individual accounts as well. You would be surprised on just how many people just want to have access to each other spending. A recipe for disaster if you ask me.
 
We have a joint account. Yes, petty arguments do happen when my wife questions me about purchases. But it's kept us honest and focused on paying things off and saving.
 
Nah she don’t need access to that and vice versa. Open up a acct we can pay bills from but we know each other’s management skills from the dating phase.
 
Yep - that’s how we do it
Us too...we put all the living expenses on there and add equal money to it every month
Then we have our separate accounts for stuff we want for ourselves. It helps to keep things even cause we make similar amount of money
 
Anyone with multiple siblings ever been in a situation where you only invited one/some but not all?

We set a date to get married later this year. We moved out of state away from family. Bought a house. Living the dream. The initial plan was to have a backyard wedding (30 people max) so family and close friends could see the house and we’d presumably keep costs low. We told this to out fam and they understood and were excited. Since I’m one of 6 kids my entire invitee list was going to be parents and bros/sisters + their spouses. My girl only has one sibling so she was going to invite her parents and closest friends.

This was before the pandemic hit. We’ve had friends do very small, intimate backyard weddings during this time and liked what they did (10ish people). So my girl wanted to trim the list even further. The issue is/was that my list was already trimmed to just family, no friends.

Fast forward a bit, after crunching numbers we basically scrapped the backyard wedding idea. Was shaping up to be a logistical nightmare and not really getting the best value. She found a nice mountain venue within our budget for a ceremony and dinner if we kept the gathering to 10 people. I agreed and decided to invite my closet sibling (big sis I actually grew up in the house with). The rest of my siblings are much older than me but nevertheless were always present in my life. I honestly always imagined having them at my wedding because they made me who I am. But between covid, costs, logistics, and mainly the fact my girl only having one sibling just threw a wrench in things.

I had one of my other sisters reach out recently about wedding planning and I couldn’t stomach telling her she wasn’t physically invited. I’m sure they will all understand but the thought of telling all of them they aren’t invited makes my stomach turn....

Any advice? Wedding is 6 months away. Already told my parents and the sister that is invited what the plan is.
 
Anyone with multiple siblings ever been in a situation where you only invited one/some but not all?

We set a date to get married later this year. We moved out of state away from family. Bought a house. Living the dream. The initial plan was to have a backyard wedding (30 people max) so family and close friends could see the house and we’d presumably keep costs low. We told this to out fam and they understood and were excited. Since I’m one of 6 kids my entire invitee list was going to be parents and bros/sisters + their spouses. My girl only has one sibling so she was going to invite her parents and closest friends.

This was before the pandemic hit. We’ve had friends do very small, intimate backyard weddings during this time and liked what they did (10ish people). So my girl wanted to trim the list even further. The issue is/was that my list was already trimmed to just family, no friends.

Fast forward a bit, after crunching numbers we basically scrapped the backyard wedding idea. Was shaping up to be a logistical nightmare and not really getting the best value. She found a nice mountain venue within our budget for a ceremony and dinner if we kept the gathering to 10 people. I agreed and decided to invite my closet sibling (big sis I actually grew up in the house with). The rest of my siblings are much older than me but nevertheless were always present in my life. I honestly always imagined having them at my wedding because they made me who I am. But between covid, costs, logistics, and mainly the fact my girl only having one sibling just threw a wrench in things.

I had one of my other sisters reach out recently about wedding planning and I couldn’t stomach telling her she wasn’t physically invited. I’m sure they will all understand but the thought of telling all of them they aren’t invited makes my stomach turn....

Any advice? Wedding is 6 months away. Already told my parents and the sister that is invited what the plan is.
I started a LLC for things like this. Gimmie $100 and i will call, zoom, txt, (and physically show up face to face: only included in the bonus package) to tell whomever they are not invited. Our platinum tier includes deeply voiced regret and disappointed for an extra $50. Deep sobbing can be arranged based on length of intended sadness. Pm for a direct quote on that portion.
 
Anyone with multiple siblings ever been in a situation where you only invited one/some but not all?

We set a date to get married later this year. We moved out of state away from family. Bought a house. Living the dream. The initial plan was to have a backyard wedding (30 people max) so family and close friends could see the house and we’d presumably keep costs low. We told this to out fam and they understood and were excited. Since I’m one of 6 kids my entire invitee list was going to be parents and bros/sisters + their spouses. My girl only has one sibling so she was going to invite her parents and closest friends.

This was before the pandemic hit. We’ve had friends do very small, intimate backyard weddings during this time and liked what they did (10ish people). So my girl wanted to trim the list even further. The issue is/was that my list was already trimmed to just family, no friends.

Fast forward a bit, after crunching numbers we basically scrapped the backyard wedding idea. Was shaping up to be a logistical nightmare and not really getting the best value. She found a nice mountain venue within our budget for a ceremony and dinner if we kept the gathering to 10 people. I agreed and decided to invite my closet sibling (big sis I actually grew up in the house with). The rest of my siblings are much older than me but nevertheless were always present in my life. I honestly always imagined having them at my wedding because they made me who I am. But between covid, costs, logistics, and mainly the fact my girl only having one sibling just threw a wrench in things.

I had one of my other sisters reach out recently about wedding planning and I couldn’t stomach telling her she wasn’t physically invited. I’m sure they will all understand but the thought of telling all of them they aren’t invited makes my stomach turn....

Any advice? Wedding is 6 months away. Already told my parents and the sister that is invited what the plan is.
Bro my wife and went to the courthouse in April on the last day they were doing weddings and eloped. Just us and the a guy we hired to officiate. Closed on a house less than a month later. We plan to have a house warming/ wedding reception after it’s all done. If you elope, I’d suggest getting a DJI Osmo handheld joint and either live stream it or record it. Congrats!
 
Us too...we put all the living expenses on there and add equal money to it every month
Then we have our separate accounts for stuff we want for ourselves. It helps to keep things even cause we make similar amount of money
Same, we have a joint mortgage account.
 
Been with my girl for 2 years and thinking about proposing this summer/Fall.

I work in banking and make a very comfortable living but I cannot fathom dropping $15K+ on a natural Diamond. It’s not because I can’t, I just think it’s a dumb purchase. I don’t give a **** about the resale value. A diamond is not an investment to me like stocks, real estate, or whatever. I want to get my girl about 2 ct and it really seems like a poor purchase to spend $20K on a diamond. Was looking into lab grown but I understand there’s still a stigma attached to lab grown diamonds, even if nobody can tell the difference.

She wants a Tacori setting so that’ll run me $4-6K which is cool but I’m not trying to drop $20K on a ******* diamond :lol
 
Been with my girl for 2 years and thinking about proposing this summer/Fall.

I work in banking and make a very comfortable living but I cannot fathom dropping $15K+ on a natural Diamond. It’s not because I can’t, I just think it’s a dumb purchase. I don’t give a **** about the resale value. A diamond is not an investment to me like stocks, real estate, or whatever. I want to get my girl about 2 ct and it really seems like a poor purchase to spend $20K on a diamond. Was looking into lab grown but I understand there’s still a stigma attached to lab grown diamonds, even if nobody can tell the difference.

She wants a Tacori setting so that’ll run me $4-6K which is cool but I’m not trying to drop $20K on a ****ing diamond :lol:
2 ct is pretty big, up to you if you want to spend on it

got my fiance 1.25ct and she couldnt be happier. She was fine with lab grown, i just couldnt do it. So find that balance of what you feel ok with spending.

clarity, color, cut all important. I got my girl stunting on her friends pissy tinted rings
 
2 ct is pretty big, up to you if you want to spend on it

got my fiance 1.25ct and she couldnt be happier. She was fine with lab grown, i just couldnt do it. So find that balance of what you feel ok with spending.

clarity, color, cut all important. I got my girl stunting on her friends pissy tinted rings
What are the clarity, color and cut you went with?
 
Been with my girl for 2 years and thinking about proposing this summer/Fall.

I work in banking and make a very comfortable living but I cannot fathom dropping $15K+ on a natural Diamond. It’s not because I can’t, I just think it’s a dumb purchase. I don’t give a **** about the resale value. A diamond is not an investment to me like stocks, real estate, or whatever. I want to get my girl about 2 ct and it really seems like a poor purchase to spend $20K on a diamond. Was looking into lab grown but I understand there’s still a stigma attached to lab grown diamonds, even if nobody can tell the difference.

She wants a Tacori setting so that’ll run me $4-6K which is cool but I’m not trying to drop $20K on a ****ing diamond :lol:
We looked at 2ct rings but they are monstrosities. Stupid big and ripe for the picking. My mom has a nice 2ct, it can be seen from a mile away, but she’s a gangsta and stays strapped. My lil brothers swears she’s got bodies. You gotta look at your lifestyle once you get above 1.5ct. We live in DC and like to be out and about. I didn't think she needed be on the metro or uber rocking a 20k rock.
 
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