Leaving without saying Goodbye

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very long read warning lol... Have you ever visited someone and left without saying goodbye?

I did that this morning... So just a quick backstory I visited my friends who retired in South Carolina in Myrtle Beach... They are an older couple so like my parents age... but I met the wife through my job in 2012 but she got laid off in 2015 and we stayed in touch since then... We became friends and hung out at places by me in NJ, go to the beach and play pool at her house... even went with them to Montreal for new years and Atlantic city for new years the year before... always had separate rooms...so they said come visit and see the new house here in Myrtle Beach... they bought it last year and I kept pushing it off then was like ok I'll go for my birthday weekend... This Friday 3/11 until 3/14... so took a half day Friday and full day off today short trip...

So despite the bad weather I'm having a good time just hanging out... We played pool, went out to eat at this nice Italian restaurant, drove around myrtle beach too cold to walk and then hung out at her place the whole time... I didn't mind because I really just wanted to see my friends... we had drinks Friday night when I got there and the rum was almost killed and the husband smokes Budd and offers me some Saturday night...he said let's go inside have some drinks... I said I'm cool I'm not trying to kill your liquor... let me go buy a bottle but we just smoked so I said can you ask the wife to drive... he said no biggie drink what we have and buy a bottle tomorrow...

I'm like ok cool I can buy a bottle tomorrow... So I'm going ham drinking the rum but didn't kill it but they had vodka so I had some of that...my friends neice comes over with her daughter and we were going to play charades... so the wife my friend starts joking with the neice and tells her some not so flattering jokes about me... I'm thick skinned so it's whatever... her husband was like geez don't embarrass the kid...

Sunday morning my last day there then I leave Monday morning... my friend the wife says geez you guys killed all the liquor... I said ya that was me I'm a buy a bottle today...went to the LQ and they don't sell hard liquor on a Sunday because of blue law smh... the husband was like it's ok you can have some of the vodka at the house... so I said cool and tell the wife and she was like you ain't going to kill all my drinks you better get your own stuff.... so I thought that was rude she would say that especially since I went out my way to visit them .. I said look I'm a drink the vodka and give you money for the bottle I was going to buy... but she made such a big deal about it I wasn't in the mood to drink period...

we get to the house at 4pm and I was in my room the whole time on my phone browsing NT... next thing you know I was there until 8pm... both the husband and wife come in knowing something is wrong and asked me what's up... I was like oh nah I'm good just tired... then the wife came in and was like ok tell me if I offended you... I said yes you made a big deal about me drinking all your liquor when I said I was going to pay you for it but still gave me crap and made me feel like I was being a burden and taking advantage... she apologized and I said it's all good... had dinner and watched tennis with her husband and then said good night...

I wake up and decide to leave early by Uber even though the husband said he was going to bring me... I left 60 bucks in her nightstand in my room I slept at...I packed my stuff and left and took an Uber... then the wife calls me and texting saying wow I thought you accepted my apology and we were good... This is how our friendship is going to end? I called her and said I just didn't want to inconvience them that's why I left without saying anything...because what happen yesterday I felt bad as well.... said we are still friends and we will hang out again... but if they visit in NJ only I'm not going to visit them ever again in SC... but I didn't say that was just thinking in my head...
 
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what-nope.gif
 
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i always leave without saying goodbye, i'm sure the reason is some deep rooted issue there that i need to process with the help of my therapist. probably having to do with my childhood wounds & abandonment issues, but one day at a time... acknowledgement of such will do for today.
 
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If this was on the "Am I the *******?" subreddit, I think this would be a split verdict between YTA and ESH. She sucks for making a stink about the liquor. You suck for acting so pouty about it, leaving without saying goodbye, and the obviously disingenuous "I didn't want to bother you guys, it's all good" excuse for not saying goodbye. Only person in this story who seems like they didn't do anything wrong was the husband. Also not sure what the charades game has to do with any of this.

I don't think your skin is as thick as you claim it is.
So you lost some friends over $60 worth of liquor
In all fairness though, the wife is the one that put the price tag on the friendship.

If I'm inviting someone over for a weekend, I'm not gonna be tracking their consumption of my booze because I invited them over to have a good time. Doubly so if my spouse was the one offering it up. At that point the dispute is between the husband and wife.
 
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I leave parties all the time without saying goodbye. I'm not trying to have a last minute drawn out convo with anyone when I'm ready to leave.

It has to be a sizeable party though not a small gathering.
 
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If you visited me and started drinking all my liquor I would have a problem too.

You say you accepted the apology but you clearly felt a way by staying in your room all day and then leaving extra early without saying a thing.

I don’t think I’ve ever visited someone and left without letting them know I was leaving unless it was some emergency. Especially not if I’m like actually sleeping over.
 
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If you visited me and started drinking all my liquor I would have a problem too.
Without permission? Sure, I get that.

If there are conditions to the liquor consumption you offer to your guest, it's up to you as the host to make that known beforehand. Can't be bringing ol' boy into the house saying "let's go have some drinks" then get pissy over the fact that he had some drinks. :lol:
 
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