Losing friendships with people after they have kids unappreciation

[11wordisbond]

"Originally Posted by Bravelude View Post
make ur kids ur friend, n ur wife ur best friend"


This is both the corniest, and the realest **** I've seen written on NT. Salute.

 

[Xennial]

I mean we were 17 deep at coachella earlier but most of them i don't see much otherwise, most of them were talking about not being sure about EDC this year either etc.

 

[dh1water]

I'm 29 and all my friends with kids still make time to hangout.  I might see them less, but I know when I do it'll pick up where it left off.  I'm not tripping. 

 

[atlien seeko]

You gotta respect that.

And if you lost/think you lost them as a friend because they decided to grow up and take care of their child, they were never your friend to begin with.

You need to evaluate yourself because your friends are not at fault.

 

[niketalker23]

Hold up...You have kids and you went to Coachella 13 deep and you have the nerve to complain..Who'd you leave your kids with?

Most parents of young children dont have the luxury of heading off for the weekend to a music festival and leave their kids for an entire weekend..

Come on bruh..

Maybe you should learn something from the friends you have who prioritize their kids over kickin it.

 

[tay1]

Damn OP, can I be your e-friend? So I can have 4. I'm 22 btw

But it happens. I had this chick who I went to school with, we were cool and everything, soon as she had the baby, its like she disappeared. I'm used to it by now tho. You should be too. You should be hella lucky you have 10. Bruh, that's a full court game right there.

 

[$tacy]

Bruh its called maturing and growing up. And u a friendly *** dude having 10 friends. I got 5 and its gonna stay there at 5.

 

[Xennial]

Hold up...You have kids and you went to Coachella 13 deep and you have the nerve to complain..Who'd you leave your kids with?

Most parents of young children dont have the luxury of heading off for the weekend to a music festival and leave their kids for an entire weekend..

Come on bruh..

Maybe you should learn something from the friends you have who prioritize their kids over kickin it.

17 deep. My daughter bwas with her mom what do you mean. Just because you have kids don't mean you give up your life

 

[niketalker23]

Hold up...You have kids and you went to Coachella 13 deep and you have the nerve to complain..Who'd you leave your kids with?

Most parents of young children dont have the luxury of heading off for the weekend to a music festival and leave their kids for an entire weekend..

Come on bruh..

Maybe you should learn something from the friends you have who prioritize their kids over kickin it.

17 deep. My daughter bwas with her mom what do you mean. Just because you have kids don't mean you give up your life

NOT going to a festival is giving up on your life?

You're mad that your friends are prioritizing their kids over you. I think you may need to grow up and quit whining.

 

[Xennial]

NOT going to a festival is giving up on your life?

You're mad that your friends are prioritizing their kids over you. I think you may need to grow up and quit whining.

If grow up means becoming boring I'd rather not but if you think its just about festivals its not what it is. I mean completely disappearing

 

[legendairy stinson]

The 10 friends left consist of both guys and girls, mostly guys but I'm not used to this.  I mean before I'd never have to use uber/lyft for a ride to the airport because I had so many friends someone was bound to be free to give me a ride.  These last couple of years it's not a guarantee anymore

If that's what your worried about then maybe that's why you're "down to 10 friends".

 

[boris]

 

NOT going to a festival is giving up on your life?

You're mad that your friends are prioritizing their kids over you. I think you may need to grow up and quit whining.

If grow up means becoming boring I'd rather not but if you think its just about festivals its not what it is. I mean completely disappearing

People disappear because they have priorities that are more important than you. That or you're just not worth their time. 

 

[atlien seeko]

The 10 friends left consist of both guys and girls, mostly guys but I'm not used to this.  I mean before I'd never have to use uber/lyft for a ride to the airport because I had so many friends someone was bound to be free to give me a ride.  These last couple of years it's not a guarantee anymore

These are not "friends". They're associates. And your username explains a lot.

I almost feel like I'm being trolled.

 

[flyeed]

starting to think millenial is a lowkey troll account 

 

[johnnyredstorm]

i dont talk to my best friend much since he got a girlfriend

ye shrug

we still family tho

 

[mytmouse76]

at the responses in here

everyone is right...priorities change when you get a family...

 

[dmbrhs]

I wouldnt even want more than like two close friends. At some point it becomes a burden. I got things to do, and hardly any free time. My free time is devoted to my girl pretty much.

For real. There's maybe two or three people I talked to more than once a week on a regular basis. The rest of my friends I'll go for weeks or months (depending on if they live here or not) without seeing them or sometimes even talking. But when we get together, it's like we didn't miss a beat.

I had one friend go to EIGHT weddings last summer, and she was in six of them (yep, needed to buy a dress for each one). I haven't been to eight weddings in the last ten years lol. I'm totally cool with that.

 

[dmbrhs]

Also, this is a good read about adult friendships.

http://deadspin.com/why-is-making-grownup-friends-so-hard-1501033717

Spoiler: Warning: Spoiler!

It's nearly impossible to make friends with other adults for a lot of different reasons, time being one of the biggest. You're an adult. You have a job. You have responsibilities. Maybe you have a girlfriend or spouse. That leaves less time for you to develop the kind of lasting, lifelong bonds with friends that happens in high school and college. High school and college kids have ********S of time to sit in each other's rooms and drink and discover that OMG YOU ALSO HAD A DOG NAMED SKIPPY WHEN YOU WERE YOUNG SOUL MATES! There's less time for that now. You need to know where this friendship is going right away. If we're not gonna end up snorting coke together and watching the first forty minutes of Full Metal Jacket over and over again, don't waste my time!

And there's more awkwardness. No grownup wants to ADMIT that they need a friend because that seems desperate. You worry that other people will wonder why, exactly, you still need a friend. Were you in prison? Did everyone at college catch you masturbating? What did you do to end up so alone? LOSER.

I've had that kind of anxiety. A few months ago, my wife was like, "You should hang with Kelly's husband. Maybe watch a football game together!" And I was URRR DURRR GOD THAT WOULD BE WEIRD, even though I liked the guy and happily would have had beers with him. Men are reluctant to admit being lonely, or nervous, and they hate putting themselves in any kind of vulnerable spot. What if your man date goes wrong? How ******* stupid will you feel if you can't even get a date that involves no sex right? On a certain level, you feel as if you and your new "friend" are just kidding yourselves... that you're trying to force yourself into BFF status when you have none of the shared memories or wacky camp stories of a pair of childhood buddies.

I moved down to the DC area with my wife ten years ago and didn't really know anyone here. Then I met another guy online (KOGOD!) and we met up at a bar once, and it was basically like going on a blind date. I think I got drunk BEFORE I met up with him, just to ease my nerves. We're good friends now, but we'll both readily admit that heading to a bar to meet your new CYBERBUDDY is a hard thing for grown men to do, even in a day and age where meeting people online is no longer stigmatized (I would argue that online dating is far more acceptable now than online friend-seeking—I've never seen an ad for any kind of platonic eHarmony). I Gchatted KOGOD about this yesterday and he said, "i still feel awkward around you." So there you go. SO SO AWKWARD.

If you're living somewhere new and you're trying to meet new friends, the important thing is to get over the shyness hump and OWN your loneliness. No sense in trying to make yourself seem cooler than you are. No sense in trying to convince potential new friends that you have other awesome buddies nearby. No sense in avoiding people when you know you NEED them. If you're honest with yourself and you say to your co-workers or friends of co-workers that you meet at happy hour, "Man, I don't know anyone in this city. I'm down with beers any time you feel like grabbing them," the world will probably start opening up for you.

Organized activities also help. There's a reason transplants living in DC join dip**** kickball leagues, and it ain't because they like kickball. You have to get out. You have to be places. You have to give yourself opportunities to find people who like you and accept you and don't give a **** that you don't have your own personal JackO or J-Bug in tow. There are plenty of people like that out there—be it online or at your local bar's trivia night. You just have to be brave enough to find them.

 

[tbreeze]

OP, is winning out here and don't even know it. 10+ friends, married, kids. Rolls 17 deep to Coachella.. ****.. Goes to Coachella.



Whole thread is a humble brag

 

[tsamshox]

I'm perfectly fine having my close circle of 5 FRIENDS that I can consider fam. The rest are all acquaintances.

****....10 friends you talk to everyday? You flourishin' right now family

 

[Top Boy]

See this in the same light as those dudes who enter into a relationship and go damn near ghost.

When you put people to the wayside, regardless of the reasoning, don't be surprised when you turn around and notice they're not standing with you anymore.

There's always love lost, even if it isn't readily apparent.

 

[niketalker23]

I just don't get it because he has kids. How does he NOT understand that people will prioritize their family over kicking it. ****, I don't have kids and I find it hard making any time to kick it whatsoever I couldn't imagine if I had a child. Dude is whining he's not getting free rides to the airport anymore. He JUST ditched his girl and his kid for the weekend, and went to Coachella 15 deep. There are people without kids who don't have the time or luxury to do stuff like that, and he wants to whine about his friends having kids and ditching him?

 

[2pacalypsenow]

Since I'm in the latter part of my college life I've got little time to hangout. I feel when I hangout with my friends it sets me behind on my work. I save all that for special occasions or during breaks. But when class is in session its best for me to distance myself and get my head right. Having friends are important but having time for yourself is just as important. I'm surrounded by my colleagues so I guess that's hanging out too lol

 

[dipsetgeneral]

Everyone around me is starting a family. Working their dead end jobs and moving in with their girlfriends. . Sad to see people's dreams come to a halt.

 

[iYen]