powerballin
Banned
- 3,756
- 2,706
- Joined
- Nov 4, 2012
Today as I woke up to my alarm on my phone (which is Neil Diamond's Sweet Caroline) and I felt different. I took a nice shower and shaved with my Gilette Mach 3 razor. Then looked into my brown own eyes......and thats when it hit me. AM A CORNBALL BROTHER? Not a brotha...but brother because I purposely pronounce the ER on all my words. It was like looking at a stranger. I mean I know it was me in that foggy mirror but that image reflecting back gave me a mix of emotions only Alfonso Ribeiro could understand. How could it be after all these years I didn't recognize myself. I'm a well accomplished man. I graduated from high school with honors, then college, just started grad school and have a decent job. Where did I go wrong?
Do I blame my mother for always buying me Izod and Tommy Hilfiger? Was it from me sleeping on high thread count sheets and having an Elvis nightlight? The Cosby show was my favorite and that was all black....so what happened? Those reruns were the GOAT I sweater gawd (word to Heathcliff Huxtable). I never watched Different World tho couldn't relate (Different strokes for different folks....speaking of Different Stokes that was another great show). As a young man I thanked my mother for only allowing me to watch wholesome shows on T.G.I.F and Nick at Nite. Who's funnier than Keenan and Urkel? Definitely not that Martin guy. Eddie Winslow showed me I could be a ladies man, athlete, and still have morals.
My neighborhood had alot of afro-americans but they weren't in my classes because I took AP courses. I will say participating on the school basketball team was fun but we never won much because some of our players lack of fundamentals. Setting a great screen and delivering a solid bounce pass is equal to a slam dunk or 360 jam. I just wish my teammates all felt the same way. I wasn't too fond of them anyways. They always smoked before games. And at parties they always drank that dark liquor and I'm more of a beer kind of guy. Nothing gives you a rush like a Keg Stand! Am I right?
Anyways all these memories were swirling around in my head as I walked back into the bedroom and then another revelation hit me like a Rocky Marciano upper cut (my favorite boxer of all-time) My girlfriend Rebecca sleeping like an angel in my bed has basically taken over my life since we met in college. As Gucci Man (sp?) would say I think I love her. But I feel like I've lost my identity. We own a snow white poodle she named Falcor and I'm actually allergic to dogs but I deal with it. And after work I usually want to watch the game (NBA basketball not that god awful show on BET) but I get forced into episodes of Gossip Girl, How I met your mother, and Big Bang Theory. Who have I become? Its not too bad tho once she falls asleep I get to sneak in some Adult Swim as long as it isnt Boondocks. Becky hates that show
I wonder why I love her but once I look into those blue eyes I'm reminded everytime. That milky white skin, that long silky blonde hair, those pretty freckles, and those pink nips. It drives me crazy. She's so beautiful and keeps herself in shape. None of that KING magazine stuff....yuck! And plus she brings home the bacon....well figuratively, she has a great job but we are Vegans now. I've left the meat alone and she tells me its for the better.
I can't believe how quickly the time passes. It feels like just yesterday I was playing with Pogs with my boys Todd and Jacob in the Gazebo. Now I'm living in a nice condo with a woman I only love because shes different than me. Deep inside I wish I could've dated LaTisha or even FriedChickenisha but they weren't feeling me at all. I'm a dark skin man and I'd love to be with a dark skin queen but my insecurities and constant rejection by black woman has sent me down this route. So here I am.
I'm a well spoken black man dating a white woman. Theres nothing wrong with that right? Rob Parker is wrong right? I'm not a cornball brother right? Its ok that I cut my own hair to avoid those hooligans at the barber shop....Its ok that I go golfing instead of playing basketball at the Y right? Its ok that I enjoy Demetri Martin instead of Mike Epps or Kevin Hart right? Like why is there so much talk in the office when wore my Peyton Manning jersey on dress down Friday?
If you looked at my closet, dvd collection, girlfriend, and social circle you might think I was a middle aged jewish man. Is there anything wrong with that? AM I A CORNBALL BROTHER NT? Please tell me the truth.
Do I blame my mother for always buying me Izod and Tommy Hilfiger? Was it from me sleeping on high thread count sheets and having an Elvis nightlight? The Cosby show was my favorite and that was all black....so what happened? Those reruns were the GOAT I sweater gawd (word to Heathcliff Huxtable). I never watched Different World tho couldn't relate (Different strokes for different folks....speaking of Different Stokes that was another great show). As a young man I thanked my mother for only allowing me to watch wholesome shows on T.G.I.F and Nick at Nite. Who's funnier than Keenan and Urkel? Definitely not that Martin guy. Eddie Winslow showed me I could be a ladies man, athlete, and still have morals.
My neighborhood had alot of afro-americans but they weren't in my classes because I took AP courses. I will say participating on the school basketball team was fun but we never won much because some of our players lack of fundamentals. Setting a great screen and delivering a solid bounce pass is equal to a slam dunk or 360 jam. I just wish my teammates all felt the same way. I wasn't too fond of them anyways. They always smoked before games. And at parties they always drank that dark liquor and I'm more of a beer kind of guy. Nothing gives you a rush like a Keg Stand! Am I right?
Anyways all these memories were swirling around in my head as I walked back into the bedroom and then another revelation hit me like a Rocky Marciano upper cut (my favorite boxer of all-time) My girlfriend Rebecca sleeping like an angel in my bed has basically taken over my life since we met in college. As Gucci Man (sp?) would say I think I love her. But I feel like I've lost my identity. We own a snow white poodle she named Falcor and I'm actually allergic to dogs but I deal with it. And after work I usually want to watch the game (NBA basketball not that god awful show on BET) but I get forced into episodes of Gossip Girl, How I met your mother, and Big Bang Theory. Who have I become? Its not too bad tho once she falls asleep I get to sneak in some Adult Swim as long as it isnt Boondocks. Becky hates that show
I wonder why I love her but once I look into those blue eyes I'm reminded everytime. That milky white skin, that long silky blonde hair, those pretty freckles, and those pink nips. It drives me crazy. She's so beautiful and keeps herself in shape. None of that KING magazine stuff....yuck! And plus she brings home the bacon....well figuratively, she has a great job but we are Vegans now. I've left the meat alone and she tells me its for the better.
I can't believe how quickly the time passes. It feels like just yesterday I was playing with Pogs with my boys Todd and Jacob in the Gazebo. Now I'm living in a nice condo with a woman I only love because shes different than me. Deep inside I wish I could've dated LaTisha or even FriedChickenisha but they weren't feeling me at all. I'm a dark skin man and I'd love to be with a dark skin queen but my insecurities and constant rejection by black woman has sent me down this route. So here I am.
I'm a well spoken black man dating a white woman. Theres nothing wrong with that right? Rob Parker is wrong right? I'm not a cornball brother right? Its ok that I cut my own hair to avoid those hooligans at the barber shop....Its ok that I go golfing instead of playing basketball at the Y right? Its ok that I enjoy Demetri Martin instead of Mike Epps or Kevin Hart right? Like why is there so much talk in the office when wore my Peyton Manning jersey on dress down Friday?
If you looked at my closet, dvd collection, girlfriend, and social circle you might think I was a middle aged jewish man. Is there anything wrong with that? AM I A CORNBALL BROTHER NT? Please tell me the truth.
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