Post your most embarrassing sexual encounters Vol. 2012

[160jordansdeep]

Have you guys ever smelled a stank box that has the odor of a dead homeless person ?

I have

 

[214]

Originally Posted by RavageBX

It's probably not a good idea to aggressively finger a girl when you haven't trimmed your nails in a while. There will be blood.

Having shorty look like shes about to have a new born baby 

Clip those nails you filthy animal

 

[Humbled]

Originally Posted by GolfAlphaBravoEcho

I had been chasing this Shorty for a hella long time, like half my life long time and I ha smashed once but I aintbreally get the chance to REALLY get up in there. So like three years later I get another chance. So I'm in there stroke is on point and Shorty says "Make sure you pull out, I cannot get pregnant right now." (Yes, irresponsibly I was going raw.) So I'm like "Yeah, of course." I get to the finish and go for the tummy money shot but I've been churn in and burn in wanting this for too long. It totally clears her torso right into her nose. Must have been the perfect rythmn because she inhaled it and started coughing uncontrollibly. She ended up in tears Ruined the nut, ruined the moment.

 

[Fresh Like Will]

Originally Posted by GolfAlphaBravoEcho

I had been chasing this Shorty for a hella long time, like half my life long time and I ha smashed once but I aintbreally get the chance to REALLY get up in there. So like three years later I get another chance. So I'm in there stroke is on point and Shorty says "Make sure you pull out, I cannot get pregnant right now." (Yes, irresponsibly I was going raw.) So I'm like "Yeah, of course." I get to the finish and go for the tummy money shot but I've been churn in and burn in wanting this for too long. It totally clears her torso right into her nose. Must have been the perfect rythmn because she inhaled it and started coughing uncontrollibly. She ended up in tears Ruined the nut, ruined the moment.

Sometimes it's so good that you misjudge it and it FLIES. And when we laugh they get mad like that was the plan or something.

 

[zk1mpls]

i love these threads. comedy.

 

[moreuptempo]

Originally Posted by RavageBX

It's probably not a good idea to aggressively finger a girl when you haven't trimmed your nails in a while. There will be blood.

YOOOOOOOOOO

 

[360wavesandxbox]

logged in for the first time in a year to post in this thread..definitely subscribed yall got me dying..

 

[flacobey]

LOL

 

[dajondondo]

Originally Posted by af1 1982

Was chillin with my roommates slightly heavy Filipino friend because he needed the room with his girl. We smoked a bowl and I expected her to go to bed afterwards while I watched Boy Meets World in the lounge of my dorm. I just wanted to watch it in peace but she insisted she join me. We watch a few episodes and I'm starting to get horny after watching Topanga. Then my roommate texts me saying it's cool to come back to the room. We stand up and she grabs my face and started making out without me. I was in such shock because I wasn't attracted to her in the slightest. I literally stood there for 5 minutes while she made out with me. Had she not known I wasn't kissing her back? Who knows. Then all standards went out the window...when I got a boner. It was game over from there. I grabbed her !#+. She grabbed the pipe. I took her to the study room next door and turned off the lights. Within 3 minutes my fingers were up there. She knew the true meaning of my nickname, "Sticky Fingaz". I asked the girl "Can I get some head?". She proceeded to give me fellatio and she was damn good at it. I guess the urban legends were true that fat girls gave the best head. She then proceeded to ask if I wanted to smash. I thought to myself, I don't have a condom so now I really don't have to go any further than this. Then she whipped one out. It was really game over. I asked her to put on the condom because that is a turnon when girls do that for me. She proceeded to play dumb. It took my high !#+ about 2 minutes to put the damn thing on. She spread her legs and I proceeded to smash. At this point I was blueballed from the fellatio and I just wanted my nut ASAP! She wasn't my girlfriend so it didn't matter to me whether she got hers or not. I then proceeded to pound like I've never before. It sounded like lard smacking back and forth. Within 30 seconds, I easily came. At that point I realized what I had done. I @%%*%! a fatty. She turned to me and asked, "You're done already?". I said, "Yessir, time for bed". We put our clothes on and proceeded to the elevator. She turned and tried giving me a kiss. I turned my head in disgust, not so much because of her but because of me and what I had done. 
After that night, I came to realize that I truly don't have any standards. Vagina is vagina to me. They call me "Sticky Fingaz" for a reason

Cool story bro!
 

 

[mr marcus]

thread is too funny

 

[kanyewest101]

So this was back in 2006 summer and I had just graduated highschool, I had this chick over my crib that I use to mess with once in a while, I smashed once before, and this would of been the 2nd time around. The first time was almost impossible because her ****y was sooo tight I couldn't even get it halfway in before she started crying for pain.

So we in my room and start to get it popping now, and I am prepared for this 2nd time now, and I have it in my head that I am NOT STOPPING FOR NOTHING! Going to just keep going, crying or not.

Missionary wasn't really working out so I tell her hop up on top. She climbs on top while I'm laying down in my bed and it was really tight again to get in, but I finally made it happen, and finally made it FULLY inside, and on that initial trust I made to get it in, all I herd was a 'pop' noise... In my head I'm just thinking like... "wth was that? That doesn't sound good"

So shorty get's up, and I can remember the sight I saw to this day in vivid slow motion 3D picture, I seen a POOL OF BLOOD just gushing & dripping from out of her ****y onto my stomach, and everywhere else.

I freaked out, and spazzed on shorty, "I'm like *#* IS GOING?!" Blood was everywhere, I had to throw away my bed sheets, undershirt, socks, everything in sight had blood all over it. She quickly got up and ran to the bathroom. She couldn't explain what happened, and I sure as hell was lost to the point of no return.

Possibly it could of been her hymen breaking? I might of been her first, didn't really ask her or care, and the first time we did it I didn't really fully penetrate so that's probably why it didn't happen then. She didn't say anything about being on her cycle either.

This was my worst and most awkward sexual experience with any female, although not really embarrassing on my behalf.

 

[atlien seeko]

, Niketalk is good right now! Will be back later to read.

 

[dajondondo]

Originally Posted by KanyeWest101

So this was back in 2006 summer and I had just graduated highschool, I had this chick over my crib that I use to mess with once in a while, I smashed once before, and this would of been the 2nd time around. The first time was almost impossible because her ****y was sooo tight I couldn't even get it halfway in before she started crying for pain.

So we in my room and start to get it popping now, and I am prepared for this 2nd time now, and I have it in my head that I am NOT STOPPING FOR NOTHING! Going to just keep going, crying or not.

Missionary wasn't really working out so I tell her hop up on top. She climbs on top while I'm laying down in my bed and it was really tight again to get in, but I finally made it happen, and finally made it FULLY inside, and on that initial trust I made to get it in, all I herd was a 'pop' noise... In my head I'm just thinking like... "wth was that? That doesn't sound good"

So shorty get's up, and I can remember the sight I saw to this day in vivid slow motion 3D picture, I seen a POOL OF BLOOD just gushing & dripping from out of her ****y onto my stomach, and everywhere else.

I freaked out, and spazzed on shorty, "I'm like *#* IS GOING?!" Blood was everywhere, I had to throw away my bed sheets, undershirt, socks, everything in sight had blood all over it. She quickly got up and ran to the bathroom. She couldn't explain what happened, and I sure as hell was lost to the point of no return.

Possibly it could of been her hymen breaking? I might of been her first, didn't really ask her or care, and the first time we did it I didn't really fully penetrate so that's probably why it didn't happen then. She didn't say anything about being on her cycle either.

This was my worst and most awkward sexual experience with any female, although not really embarrassing on my behalf.

Ew..

Ummmmmm..

only embarassing 1 is when these 2 chicks told me that they were down to have a 3sum. I was 17 and they were 19....... I was talking to one of them and somehow they both came together to my crib... So they told asked me if i eat the box... i said NO... i asked them if they suck ... they said Yes , but only if the guy goes on them first... so..... skip over to where they wanted to experience a 3 sum.... so they both said eat us out.. start it out.. i said 

 .. ok we...  im adventerous... i like to try new things... so i ate both of them out.. 1 by 1... I didnt know how to eat @%*%@, so i did it the way i ate my ex's butt... than i go get the condom... and they say that was the 3sum.... and left 

 ... i was puzzled, lost , confused, terrified, scared, embarassed, and had the taste of @%*%@ in my mouth.... they basically set me up....

 

[cheese wagstaff]

Originally Posted by Angryostrich

i take off shorty pants and from her mid calf to her ankles is ashy as hell like her car had flour buckets as the pedal and the brake..

Dude has me chuckling to myself at my house

 wow

 

[heliumclinton]

Originally Posted by DajonDondo

Originally Posted by KanyeWest101

So this was back in 2006 summer and I had just graduated highschool, I had this chick over my crib that I use to mess with once in a while, I smashed once before, and this would of been the 2nd time around. The first time was almost impossible because her ****y was sooo tight I couldn't even get it halfway in before she started crying for pain.

So we in my room and start to get it popping now, and I am prepared for this 2nd time now, and I have it in my head that I am NOT STOPPING FOR NOTHING! Going to just keep going, crying or not.

Missionary wasn't really working out so I tell her hop up on top. She climbs on top while I'm laying down in my bed and it was really tight again to get in, but I finally made it happen, and finally made it FULLY inside, and on that initial trust I made to get it in, all I herd was a 'pop' noise... In my head I'm just thinking like... "wth was that? That doesn't sound good"

So shorty get's up, and I can remember the sight I saw to this day in vivid slow motion 3D picture, I seen a POOL OF BLOOD just gushing & dripping from out of her ****y onto my stomach, and everywhere else.

I freaked out, and spazzed on shorty, "I'm like *#* IS GOING?!" Blood was everywhere, I had to throw away my bed sheets, undershirt, socks, everything in sight had blood all over it. She quickly got up and ran to the bathroom. She couldn't explain what happened, and I sure as hell was lost to the point of no return.

Possibly it could of been her hymen breaking? I might of been her first, didn't really ask her or care, and the first time we did it I didn't really fully penetrate so that's probably why it didn't happen then. She didn't say anything about being on her cycle either.

This was my worst and most awkward sexual experience with any female, although not really embarrassing on my behalf.

Ew..

Ummmmmm..

only embarassing 1 is when these 2 chicks told me that they were down to have a 3sum. I was 17 and they were 19....... I was talking to one of them and somehow they both came together to my crib... So they told asked me if i eat the box... i said NO... i asked them if they suck ... they said Yes , but only if the guy goes on them first... so..... skip over to where they wanted to experience a 3 sum.... so they both said eat us out.. start it out.. i said 

 .. ok we...  im adventerous... i like to try new things... so i ate both of them out.. 1 by 1... I didnt know how to eat @%*%@, so i did it the way i ate my ex's butt... than i go get the condom... and they say that was the 3sum.... and left 

 ... i was puzzled, lost , confused, terrified, scared, embarassed, and had the taste of @%*%@ in my mouth.... they basically set me up....

smart girls, you got bamboozled .. not even one but two 

 

[yngsimba.sneakershoebox]

Originally Posted by heLiumcLinton

Originally Posted by DajonDondo

Originally Posted by KanyeWest101

Ew..

Ummmmmm..

only embarassing 1 is when these 2 chicks told me that they were down to have a 3sum. I was 17 and they were 19....... I was talking to one of them and somehow they both came together to my crib... So they told asked me if i eat the box... i said NO... i asked them if they suck ... they said Yes , but only if the guy goes on them first... so..... skip over to where they wanted to experience a 3 sum.... so they both said eat us out.. start it out.. i said 

 .. ok we...  im adventerous... i like to try new things... so i ate both of them out.. 1 by 1... I didnt know how to eat @%*%@, so i did it the way i ate my ex's butt... than i go get the condom... and they say that was the 3sum.... and left 

 ... i was puzzled, lost , confused, terrified, scared, embarassed, and had the taste of @%*%@ in my mouth.... they basically set me up....

smart girls, you got bamboozled .. not even one but two 

Son you better have got tested, they could of gave you the quick herp and dipped

 

Spoiler

Spoiler

Spoiler [+]

Spoiler

But really, you said you ate your ex's butt, but were hesitant about the %$#@$??.. the hell? 

 

 

[kanyewest101]

@DajonDondo my man!!!!!!!!!!!!! How in the WORLD could you fall for that?!

They got you bad bro..

You already went crazy by eating them out, but what's good with you saying you ate your ex's *** dude?

 

[mrbrown]

Originally Posted by heLiumcLinton

Originally Posted by DajonDondo

Originally Posted by KanyeWest101

So this was back in 2006 summer and I had just graduated highschool, I had this chick over my crib that I use to mess with once in a while, I smashed once before, and this would of been the 2nd time around. The first time was almost impossible because her ****y was sooo tight I couldn't even get it halfway in before she started crying for pain.

So we in my room and start to get it popping now, and I am prepared for this 2nd time now, and I have it in my head that I am NOT STOPPING FOR NOTHING! Going to just keep going, crying or not.

Missionary wasn't really working out so I tell her hop up on top. She climbs on top while I'm laying down in my bed and it was really tight again to get in, but I finally made it happen, and finally made it FULLY inside, and on that initial trust I made to get it in, all I herd was a 'pop' noise... In my head I'm just thinking like... "wth was that? That doesn't sound good"

So shorty get's up, and I can remember the sight I saw to this day in vivid slow motion 3D picture, I seen a POOL OF BLOOD just gushing & dripping from out of her ****y onto my stomach, and everywhere else.

I freaked out, and spazzed on shorty, "I'm like *#* IS GOING?!" Blood was everywhere, I had to throw away my bed sheets, undershirt, socks, everything in sight had blood all over it. She quickly got up and ran to the bathroom. She couldn't explain what happened, and I sure as hell was lost to the point of no return.

Possibly it could of been her hymen breaking? I might of been her first, didn't really ask her or care, and the first time we did it I didn't really fully penetrate so that's probably why it didn't happen then. She didn't say anything about being on her cycle either.

This was my worst and most awkward sexual experience with any female, although not really embarrassing on my behalf.

Ew..

Ummmmmm..

only embarassing 1 is when these 2 chicks told me that they were down to have a 3sum. I was 17 and they were 19....... I was talking to one of them and somehow they both came together to my crib... So they told asked me if i eat the box... i said NO... i asked them if they suck ... they said Yes , but only if the guy goes on them first... so..... skip over to where they wanted to experience a 3 sum.... so they both said eat us out.. start it out.. i said 

 .. ok we...  im adventerous... i like to try new things... so i ate both of them out.. 1 by 1... I didnt know how to eat @%*%@, so i did it the way i ate my ex's butt... than i go get the condom... and they say that was the 3sum.... and left 

 ... i was puzzled, lost , confused, terrified, scared, embarassed, and had the taste of @%*%@ in my mouth.... they basically set me up....

smart girls, you got bamboozled .. not even one but two 

WINRAR

 

[aaronj]

It's 5:02am and I'm dyin readin these stories man this stuff is priceless. I wish I coulda seen the original thread.

 

[gregzzy23]

Originally Posted by DajonDondo

Originally Posted by KanyeWest101

So this was back in 2006 summer and I had just graduated highschool, I had this chick over my crib that I use to mess with once in a while, I smashed once before, and this would of been the 2nd time around. The first time was almost impossible because her ****y was sooo tight I couldn't even get it halfway in before she started crying for pain.

So we in my room and start to get it popping now, and I am prepared for this 2nd time now, and I have it in my head that I am NOT STOPPING FOR NOTHING! Going to just keep going, crying or not.

Missionary wasn't really working out so I tell her hop up on top. She climbs on top while I'm laying down in my bed and it was really tight again to get in, but I finally made it happen, and finally made it FULLY inside, and on that initial trust I made to get it in, all I herd was a 'pop' noise... In my head I'm just thinking like... "wth was that? That doesn't sound good"

So shorty get's up, and I can remember the sight I saw to this day in vivid slow motion 3D picture, I seen a POOL OF BLOOD just gushing & dripping from out of her ****y onto my stomach, and everywhere else.

I freaked out, and spazzed on shorty, "I'm like *#* IS GOING?!" Blood was everywhere, I had to throw away my bed sheets, undershirt, socks, everything in sight had blood all over it. She quickly got up and ran to the bathroom. She couldn't explain what happened, and I sure as hell was lost to the point of no return.

Possibly it could of been her hymen breaking? I might of been her first, didn't really ask her or care, and the first time we did it I didn't really fully penetrate so that's probably why it didn't happen then. She didn't say anything about being on her cycle either.

This was my worst and most awkward sexual experience with any female, although not really embarrassing on my behalf.

Ew..

Ummmmmm..

only embarassing 1 is when these 2 chicks told me that they were down to have a 3sum. I was 17 and they were 19....... I was talking to one of them and somehow they both came together to my crib... So they told asked me if i eat the box... i said NO... i asked them if they suck ... they said Yes , but only if the guy goes on them first... so..... skip over to where they wanted to experience a 3 sum.... so they both said eat us out.. start it out.. i said 

 .. ok we...  im adventerous... i like to try new things... so i ate both of them out.. 1 by 1... I didnt know how to eat @%*%@, so i did it the way i ate my ex's butt... than i go get the condom... and they say that was the 3sum.... and left 

 ... i was puzzled, lost , confused, terrified, scared, embarassed, and had the taste of @%*%@ in my mouth.... they basically set me up....

This story got me DYING right now

 

[mr marcus]

bruh ate butt before but was confused about eating #$$$+.....


what girl would have you eat butt before #$$$+?
you're 

 my n'

 

[a55a5in11]

i've been waiting for this thread every day since 09 when the other thread happened. that thread made me join this community

 

[robinvandamn]

like two years ago i decided to skip school to hang out with this one girl in the park. we were just going to meet up, go to her crib, do the deed then head to school but we ended up getting caught up in the moment and lost track of time i guess. now i'm in the middle of getting a handjob and fingerpoppin her when i see a man staring at us through the bushes. I tap her and tell her and we both pull our pants up and she immediately jets off. As soon as she begins to run the figure arises from the bushes and it turns out to be a cop. We get put in handcuffs, sat on the curb and we were like 100 yards from an elementary school so the cops says we might end up being charged as sex offenders. IDK if i talked him out of it or whatever but after calling up both of our parents and telling them what we were doing he let us go on our way.

Funniest thing was when i got home almost the exact same time as my mother and she just looked at me like

for about 20 minutes....

 

[enlightendespot]

I was on my roof smashing this chick and my boy was on the other of the roof side gettin it in.
He called when he was done but i was still smashin. He asked if i was done and i was just like yea yea yea just to get off the fone and he and his girl came over while i was diggin in them guts.
Not really embarrassing.

 

[smedroc]

This happened on NYE actually.

Met a chick, she took me back to the hotel, we start getting down etc...

Anyway against my better judgement i decide im gonna eat the box

... But not the regular way... I seen this prono where dude has the chick sat on his shoulders while he's stood up and he's just nyammin that thang... +%%$ looked boss so i thought i'd try it out. However i'm not as brolic as this dude was so i thought i'll do it against the wall for some support. So i lift this girl up on my shoulders and go to lean her up against what i thought was a wall....

Unfortunately all the Jack and red wine caused me to make a slight misjudgment....what i thought to be a wall was infact a doorway. So as i plant her against fresh air this erotic sexual act suddenly becomes a running powerbomb

This chick hits the canvas HARD with my full weight to follow. She's goes into a semi foetal position and starts wimpering quietly, complaining that her side hurts. I didn't know whether to apologise to this girl or pin her shoulders down for the 3 count. Needless to say i got dressed and left the hotel shortly afterward.