Post your most embarrassing sexual encounters Vol. 2012

[nikekidwonder]

Originally Posted by yngSIMBA

Originally Posted by heLiumcLinton

Originally Posted by DajonDondo

Ew..

Ummmmmm..

only embarassing 1 is when these 2 chicks told me that they were down to have a 3sum. I was 17 and they were 19....... I was talking to one of them and somehow they both came together to my crib... So they told asked me if i eat the box... i said NO... i asked them if they suck ... they said Yes , but only if the guy goes on them first... so..... skip over to where they wanted to experience a 3 sum.... so they both said eat us out.. start it out.. i said 

 .. ok we...  im adventerous... i like to try new things... so i ate both of them out.. 1 by 1... I didnt know how to eat @%*%@, so i did it the way i ate my ex's butt... than i go get the condom... and they say that was the 3sum.... and left 

 ... i was puzzled, lost , confused, terrified, scared, embarassed, and had the taste of @%*%@ in my mouth.... they basically set me up....

smart girls, you got bamboozled .. not even one but two 

Son you better have got tested, they could of gave you the quick herp and dipped

 

Spoiler

Spoiler

Spoiler [+]

Spoiler

But really, you said you ate your ex's butt, but were hesitant about the %$#@$??.. the hell? 

 

 

[basedwindu]

Originally Posted by ColdCity

Originally Posted by Smedroc

This happened on NYE actually.

Met a chick, she took me back to the hotel, we start getting down etc...

Anyway against my better judgement i decide im gonna eat the box

... But not the regular way... I seen this prono where dude has the chick sat on his shoulders while he's stood up and he's just nyammin that thang... +%%$ looked boss so i thought i'd try it out. However i'm not as brolic as this dude was so i thought i'll do it against the wall for some support. So i lift this girl up on my shoulders and go to lean her up against what i thought was a wall....

Unfortunately all the Jack and red wine caused me to make a slight misjudgment....what i thought to be a wall was infact a doorway. So as i plant her against fresh air this erotic sexual act suddenly becomes a running powerbomb

This chick hits the canvas HARD with my full weight to follow. She's goes into a semi foetal position and starts wimpering quietly, complaining that her side hurts. I didn't know whether to apologise to this girl or pin her shoulders down for the 3 count. Needless to say i got dressed and left the hotel shortly afterward.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[coldcity]

Originally Posted by GRyPR33


I was with my ex.  Smashing at her house with her step father home so I'm already sweating bullets

She had this daybed setup, twin sized and up against the wall. Just the right height too. I've never had such perfect traction and footing as I had with that damn bed

So I'm putting in work and I'm finally ready to bust. Thinking it's gonna be a tummy shot I pull out....but I was drunk off that good vagina and misjudged the intensity of the upcoming nut.
The initial shot flew to the right, above her head and onto her wall.......and the trail lead down into her hair to her face to her chest.
Keep in mind we were doing our best to be silent this whole time. She had a pillow over her face for most of the encounter.
She screams out "@*$%!" and her stepdad starts to walk over.
At this point I'm already getting dressed as fast as Clark Kent in a phone booth, ready to leap out her window in a single bound.
I'm dressed. She's not, and hiding her nakedness under her blankets
I'm thinking I'm about to die...but her stepdad never comes through the door.
He was going to the bathroom slightly up the hall from her room

So I tell her it was fun and I'd call her later and just left.
In the end I left her frightened, cowering under the covers, with semen dripping from her hair

Another time, same girl. Mid blowjob I comment on how she's good with both her hands.
She takes my penis out of her mouth and says "Yeah I'm ambidextrous! Don't hold it against me, but one time....." and makes motions in the air indicating that one time, she had whacked two guys off at the same time.
Instant softie. Could not continue. On strike. Shortly thereafter I broke up with her

AW DAMN !!!!!!!!!!!

 

[galvelocity]

Okay so a couple of years ago, my roommates and I lived in this...I don't know what I'd call it. It's like a duplex only it's like five houses attached together? In a big block? Anyway, at the beginning of the school year, we went to a party that was in the big shared backyard. My roommates were encouraging me to go kinda wild. I had just gotten out of a brutal relationship and figured I deserved to have a little fun. At this point in my life, I have never ever gone home with a guy, and due to this incident, I never will again

This guy was kind of a douche but he was cute so I figured whatever. I'm super wasted and so is he. We go back to his house (the one directly attached to mine) and fool around a little. We kinda just made out and I had my top off and so did he but that was about it, I'm kind of a prude unless I'm in a relationship.

 We both pass out. 

At one point I sit up in bed, and look around, and then settle down to go back to sleep. Suddenly, I hear this weird watery sound. On instinct, I barrel roll out of the bed, and stand up. He's out cold pissing EVERYWHERE. Like, I can't explain to you guys the quantities of pee involved. And he fell asleep with a boner so his weiner is at the midnight position, and he's peeing all over his own chest and everything! And it's pooling in the indent in the mattress from his body weight and oh god!

I run out their front door, in only underwear, flee across the yard and burst into my own house. I run to my buddy's room and, still pretty much naked, begin to freak out. After we had a good laugh at his expense. I realized I left all my clothes and some of my favorite rings behind. We decide to go get my stuff.

The front door has been locked since I left, so we climb through his window, which is one of those super small, high up basement windows, so we like tumble into his room. He's still out cold in a pool of his own pee. We carefully reach over him to get my clothes and took what we could find easily. Then we ran back home. I lost two of my favorite rings and my favorite v-neck that night.

We then had to live next door to each other for a year. Every time we crossed paths he would hang his head in shame and walk as far apart from me as possible. And rightfully so. That was a messed up situation

 

[jayhood23]

Another time I went down on a chick and she started her period in my mouth

 

[antidope]

Originally Posted by JayHood23

Another time I went down on a chick and she started her period in my mouth

 

[rusty shackelford]

Originally Posted by JayHood23

Another time I went down on a chick and she started her period in my mouth

Is it like regular blood or do you taste the egg jk

 

[bdubnyckid]

I remember one time I went over my girls house late at night and we were messin around..she had mass and we 
started messin around dry humping and stuff before we got to business...so I turn her around and start dry humping her

doggy before I go in for the kill....I'm sure many of you know that pockets of air will rise up if you banging a chick from the 

back when she has mass...so I'm dry humping from behind and all of a sudden I get this putrid pocket of funk rise up from between

her cheeks and hit me in the nostrils 

..I guess she was sweaty and didn't wipe well last time she threw down in the bathroom.

After that I went limp and had no interest in doing anything with her that night..the smell was so funky 

 

[transam]

@ this thread. I laughed at too many so I got to add one.

I had been feeling this chick for awhile and while we flirted and all that it wasn't until my boy's house party we hooked up. Long story my boy let's me use his bedroom, I had been trying to stay somewhat sober at this point but with the aspect of getting it in with this girl I ended up doing a good number of shots beforehand. So we head up stairs and start messing around, one thing leads so another and I get behind this chick and we go at it. She's pushing back hard which was so

 and telling me to hit it harder, so I smirk all confident like "Oh you wanna go?"  and with the force of a mack truck I slam myself forward thinking she's gonna love it (I'm not a skinny dude either 6'1 230ish at that time ) but instead of a a moan/scream/whatever I was looking for I hear a CRACK! and straight laced this chick into the wooden headboard not realizing how close to it I was. I swore I lost her for a minute or two, body had to go limp but I'm freaking out thinking I killed this girl. Next thing I hear is a groggy groan and she starts crying.....

Needless to say, we didn't speak of this afterwards or ever again really

 

[destination kicks]

Originally Posted by JayHood23

Another time I went down on a chick and she started her period in my mouth

Happened to my boy. Everyone called him Vampire for like a month.

 

[dnycemodel]

Smedroc...You win

 

[straight lux]

Originally Posted by dnycemodel

Smedroc...You win

for real! couldnt stop laughing

 

[JCMojica24]

One time I was going down on a girl, and I have been watching some porno, and I've been seeing the girls sit on the dudes faces so I thought why not? Girl gets on my face and I am going about my business when all of a sudden I feel a nice little stream of blood go into my mouth. I will never forget that as long as I live.  
Got drunk once and got a footjob from a girl. Wasn't embarrassing but I thought I would share.

 

[Bert.]

Originally Posted by Destination Kicks

Originally Posted by JayHood23

Another time I went down on a chick and she started her period in my mouth

Happened to my boy. Everyone called him Vampire for like a month.

 

[retro23j]

Originally Posted by Smedroc

This happened on NYE actually.

Met a chick, she took me back to the hotel, we start getting down etc...

Anyway against my better judgement i decide im gonna eat the box

... But not the regular way... I seen this prono where dude has the chick sat on his shoulders while he's stood up and he's just nyammin that thang... +%%$ looked boss so i thought i'd try it out. However i'm not as brolic as this dude was so i thought i'll do it against the wall for some support. So i lift this girl up on my shoulders and go to lean her up against what i thought was a wall....

Unfortunately all the Jack and red wine caused me to make a slight misjudgment....what i thought to be a wall was infact a doorway. So as i plant her against fresh air this erotic sexual act suddenly becomes a running powerbomb

This chick hits the canvas HARD with my full weight to follow. She's goes into a semi foetal position and starts wimpering quietly, complaining that her side hurts. I didn't know whether to apologise to this girl or pin her shoulders down for the 3 count. Needless to say i got dressed and left the hotel shortly afterward.

I started crying at nyammin that thang

 

[JCMojica24]

Originally Posted by Jordanscrub

Originally Posted by Rusty Shackelford

Originally Posted by Smedroc

This happened on NYE actually.

Met a chick, she took me back to the hotel, we start getting down etc...

Anyway against my better judgement i decide im gonna eat the box

... But not the regular way... I seen this prono where dude has the chick sat on his shoulders while he's stood up and he's just nyammin that thang... +%%$ looked boss so i thought i'd try it out. However i'm not as brolic as this dude was so i thought i'll do it against the wall for some support. So i lift this girl up on my shoulders and go to lean her up against what i thought was a wall....

Unfortunately all the Jack and red wine caused me to make a slight misjudgment....what i thought to be a wall was infact a doorway. So as i plant her against fresh air this erotic sexual act suddenly becomes a running powerbomb

This chick hits the canvas HARD with my full weight to follow. She's goes into a semi foetal position and starts wimpering quietly, complaining that her side hurts. I didn't know whether to apologise to this girl or pin her shoulders down for the 3 count. Needless to say i got dressed and left the hotel shortly afterward.

 @%^# Has me doing the "No noise and clapping" laugh

I have seriously been laughing at this story and the gif for about 10 minutes 

 

[aznjmacan]

During University I had this sexy High-school Pembroke Pines Morena that came from $$$ - to breach her room at nights was a total mission... She couldnt trip the security system so I instructed her how to unscrew the sensor and attach 2-sided tape - when I rolled thru, she would detach the sensor from the window and open it, making sure not to trip Daddys ADT. I would have to park in the accent complex and walk around the lake, jump a wall, then sneak thru her window... this is at around 2am, needless to say by the time I got in her room adrenaline was always pumping.  

One night as soon as I got inside, she pounced me and starts riding the D like something possessed, I couldnt hang, Im on my back so I pushed her off just before I blew my most epic load in my life - Im dodging my own sperm and I hear it hitting the headboard behind me, Im literally bobbing and weaving trying not to get hit with shots from my own x-cannon while shes laughing her @%* off..

Another time she insists I come over earlier, like 11, im like "you sure everyone is gonna be sleeping?" Her dad was a kind of Macho looking guy so getting caught was not an option.. Shes like yeh, hes out of town. I come thru, do my thing , I bounce around 2am feeling like a boss - jump through the window and make my way round back when I see shortys mom smoking a cig on the phone outside, our eyes make 4 and my nervousness mixed with her thinking im a thief equaled the loudest shriek I have ever herd - she literally runs into the sliding glass door - goes in and trips the alarm - im running my @%* off round the lake like I actually stole something - the alarm blaring the background. 

 

 

[KMante]

Originally Posted by jcmojica24

Originally Posted by Jordanscrub

Originally Posted by Rusty Shackelford

 @%^# Has me doing the "No noise and clapping" laugh

I have seriously been laughing at this story and the gif for about 10 minutes 

SAME HERE!!!!

 

[KMante]

Originally Posted by GRyPR33




Another time, same girl. Mid blowjob I comment on how she's good with both her hands.
She takes my penis out of her mouth and says "Yeah I'm ambidextrous! Don't hold it against me, but one time....." and makes motions in the air indicating that one time, she had whacked two guys off at the same time.
Instant softie. Could not continue. On strike. Shortly thereafter I broke up with her

 

[jimmybeanz]

a chick jerked me so hard my little dude spit blood.  srs

 

[memphisboi55]

iBlink wrote:

---

The last time I saw this thread was back in 08 or so and it was full of lulz. I remember dude got his ribs broken after smashing shorty in the bathroom at her pops house or something like that

it's been 4 years, so I know some of you have had a few odd incidents in that time frame.

As for me, I have two stories I can think of. About a year ago, i was chasing this one broad heavy. I still want her to this very day. On April 16, my persistence paid off. She came over to chill with a few friends, and I had some of my boys over. Drinks get to flowing and she tells me flat out "tell them to leave. I really want to f." She proceeds to tell her friends they should go check out some party and I tell my boys they gotta go. Shorty was summertime fine. So they leave, we get to kissing, I go from 6 to midnight in about 2 seconds. Strip her down, get the condom and all systems shut down. I started to panic because I've never had trouble with ED. I figured I wanted her so bad it wouldn't eek be a problem to ravish the broad. But I couldn't. I tried fapping without her noticing, didn't work. After About 15 mins of freaking out I pretend to hear my phone vibrate and I pretend to hold a conversation. End the "conversation" and I go back to the room. She's getting dressed as I walk in. Gives me this whole thing about how her friends didn't like the party so they gotta pick her up. I Walk her to the door and as soon as she walks out I hear her friend ask her "so how was it?" she responds "Girrrrrrrl let me tell you". My heart dropped. We still talk but I've never even gotten a chance to redeem myself.



Midnight.... your !@%% is broke son

Your joint standing straight up into your belly button 

 

[nktran001]

Ol' girl only allowed me to anal and never took her jeans off all the way.

So one night, I just pulled her jeans all the way down and snatch the panties off.. come to find out...........

 

[sdtekken]

That power bomb story is too much. I just think about it in my head and I cant stop laughing and that gif good laaawd lol. This needs to be in a movie

 

[ar guy]

Originally Posted by Nktran001

Ol' girl only allowed me to anal and never took her jeans off all the way.

So one night, I just pulled her jeans all the way down and snatch the panties off.. come to find out...........

Soooooooooooooooooooooooo, you smashed a dude?

 

[cwrite78]

U just got trolled