Post your most embarrassing sexual encounters Vol. 2012

[dmoney82]

Originally Posted by AdobeCS4

Originally Posted by eashawty

Originally Posted by DMoney82

Never said this to anyone. Swear on my daughter. I met up with this chic and went to her hotel. We chopped it up, talked for a while and then I finally made the move. Grabbed her face and started kissing her. Made out for like 5 minutes and got naked. We turned the lamp off next to the bed but I could see a little from the moonlight shinning through the balcony door. I was going to WORK!! I was slam effing this chic and she loved it. So I figured after I made her climax so many times I'ma eat the box and show her my other skills. I go down and so she's going crazy, I'm feeling like the mannn! Next thing you know I taste something funny but I'm like oh, she's just cumming. Then I smelled something.. jumped up and turned the lights on. All I saw was red. She goes 'OMG!' I wipe my face and blood is all on my hand. I run straight in the bathroom and throw up. She comes in and ask am I Ok... I look at her with disgust while I'm scrubbing my face and mouth. I said 'Man you was on your god damn period and you knew it!' She said no, you just screwed me too hard! I swear I'm not. She sits on the bed while I'm getting dressed and we are both quiet. I get up and leave. Never spoke to her again, only a few words on twitter.

SMH

/Real Life.

oh...so is that y they call u face?

 

[red tag bastard]

wow just started reading this today...too funny. here's my contribution that happened just two weeks ago.

So my washer/dryer are in this little alcove in the kitchen enclosed by these sliding/rolling-type doors. well at some point my roommate got really drunk and ripped off one of the doors so for several months now its just been hanging by the hinge. Anyway, my girl came over to stay for the weekend and she was doing some laundry. i come up behind her and we start fooling around. I then lift her up and put her on the dryer. We fool around for a while before i try to get it in but it was way too difficult with my height and the height of the dryer. So after a failed attempt I ask if we should move to the couch. She straddles me with her arms and legs and I proceed to carry her into the living room where the couch is. Well, while walking away from the laundry area i bump the broken door with a huge BANG. i knock the door off the hinge and it starts to fall over. I dunno what I was thinking but I just froze and kinda just watched it fall all wide-eyed i guess from shock after the bang. Anyway it lands on the dryer and knocks it to the side a good foot, ricochets my direction, and the edge of the door falls directly on my foot--mind you, i estimate the door weighs 40-50 lbs. I let out the loudest "FUUUUUUUUU" i can remember yelling in recent memory. !@#$ was like a pulsating pain in my foot right after. I let my girl down and stumbled into the other room and took off my sock carefully to check out the damage. my foot looked swollen like a fat person's foot, discolored, and was gushing blood. I thought I broke my foot. Well, the mood was killed to say the least but my wonderful lady nursed me up right after with bandages and ice. Never got it checked out and two weeks later it's still purple/yellow and hurts like !@#$ when I walk.

 

[coldcity]

Originally Posted by Zyzz

Originally Posted by ColdCity

Originally Posted by DMoney82

Never said this to anyone. Swear on my daughter. I met up with this chic and went to her hotel. We chopped it up, talked for a while and then I finally made the move. Grabbed her face and started kissing her. Made out for like 5 minutes and got naked. We turned the lamp off next to the bed but I could see a little from the moonlight shinning through the balcony door. I was going to WORK!! I was slam effing this chic and she loved it. So I figured after I made her climax so many times I'ma eat the box and show her my other skills. I go down and so she's going crazy, I'm feeling like the mannn! Next thing you know I taste something funny but I'm like oh, she's just cumming. Then I smelled something.. jumped up and turned the lights on. All I saw was red. She goes 'OMG!' I wipe my face and blood is all on my hand. I run straight in the bathroom and throw up. She comes in and ask am I Ok... I look at her with disgust while I'm scrubbing my face and mouth. I said 'Man you was on your god damn period and you knew it!' She said no, you just screwed me too hard! I swear I'm not. She sits on the bed while I'm getting dressed and we are both quiet. I get up and leave. Never spoke to her again, only a few words on twitter.

SMH

/Real Life.

so you went from piping to eatin

i am disgust

son did it wrong

 its beat then beat more

i only eat food

 

[doitallpaul]

Originally Posted by red tag bastard

wow just started reading this today...too funny. here's my contribution that happened just two weeks ago.

So my washer/dryer are in this little alcove in the kitchen enclosed by these sliding/rolling-type doors. well at some point my roommate got really drunk and ripped off one of the doors so for several months now its just been hanging by the hinge. Anyway, my girl came over to stay for the weekend and she was doing some laundry. i come up behind her and we start fooling around. I then lift her up and put her on the dryer. We fool around for a while before i try to get it in but it was way too difficult with my height and the height of the dryer. So after a failed attempt I ask if we should move to the couch. She straddles me with her arms and legs and I proceed to carry her into the living room where the couch is. Well, while walking away from the laundry area i bump the broken door with a huge BANG. i knock the door off the hinge and it starts to fall over. I dunno what I was thinking but I just froze and kinda just watched it fall all wide-eyed i guess from shock after the bang. Anyway it lands on the dryer and knocks it to the side a good foot, ricochets my direction, and the edge of the door falls directly on my foot--mind you, i estimate the door weighs 40-50 lbs. I let out the loudest "FUUUUUUUUU" i can remember yelling in recent memory. !@#$ was like a pulsating pain in my foot right after. I let my girl down and stumbled into the other room and took off my sock carefully to check out the damage. my foot looked swollen like a fat person's foot, discolored, and was gushing blood. I thought I broke my foot. Well, the mood was killed to say the least but my wonderful lady nursed me up right after with bandages and ice. Never got it checked out and two weeks later it's still purple/yellow and hurts like !@#$ when I walk.

there is only one way to get healed in the situation and it rhymes with home.

 

[bwbp3]

Originally Posted by DoItAllPaul

This isn't my story but my best friends:

So he hits up with this girl who is known for taking it anal. Like this girl never took it in the vag and preferred anal so she could consider herself a virgin. She comes over late night and they are kissing and he is fooling around. They both get naked where he hears snoring. The girl is fast asleep in his bed. He thinks to himself "how am I gonna get rid of this hard on?" He then proceeds to grab her breasts and masturbate himself while the girl is sleeping. He finishes and just falls asleep next to her.

Couldn't this be illegal?  

 

[airforce1king]

Originally Posted by OHyeah10

Originally Posted by datpiff110

**** going soft

you fapping to these stories son?

 

[rick2345]

^

 

[KMante]

Originally Posted by bwbp3

Originally Posted by DoItAllPaul

This isn't my story but my best friends:

So he hits up with this girl who is known for taking it anal. Like this girl never took it in the vag and preferred anal so she could consider herself a virgin. She comes over late night and they are kissing and he is fooling around. They both get naked where he hears snoring. The girl is fast asleep in his bed. He thinks to himself "how am I gonna get rid of this hard on?" He then proceeds to grab her breasts and masturbate himself while the girl is sleeping. He finishes and just falls asleep next to her.

Couldn't this be illegal?  

That's what I was thinking.

 

 

[wcghost]

Originally Posted by AirForce1King

Originally Posted by OHyeah10

Originally Posted by datpiff110

**** going soft

you fapping to these stories son?

 

[supraman501]

Originally Posted by GolfAlphaBravoEcho

I had been chasing this Shorty for a hella long time, like half my life long time and I ha smashed once but I aintbreally get the chance to REALLY get up in there. So like three years later I get another chance. So I'm in there stroke is on point and Shorty says "Make sure you pull out, I cannot get pregnant right now." (Yes, irresponsibly I was going raw.) So I'm like "Yeah, of course." I get to the finish and go for the tummy money shot but I've been churn in and burn in wanting this for too long. It totally clears her torso right into her nose. Must have been the perfect rythmn because she inhaled it and started coughing uncontrollibly. She ended up in tears Ruined the nut, ruined the moment.

 

[sreggie101]

Originally Posted by wcghost

Originally Posted by AirForce1King

Originally Posted by OHyeah10

Originally Posted by datpiff110

**** going soft

you fapping to these stories son?

aw its like that?

fappin to weird/gross sexual encounters is wats poppin now?

 

[Peep Game]

Originally Posted by sreggie101

Originally Posted by wcghost

Originally Posted by AirForce1King

aw its like that?

fappin to weird/gross sexual encounters is wats poppin now?

Haven't been to this thread in awhile, but this CSI meme and DoItAllPaul's story is

 

[oidreez]

horatio

 

[solefood229]

Glad this thread got bumped, not my story but my homegirl of mine did it


She goes on a date with a guy she met a few weeks before, they go to some sushi spot, after shorty starts feeling sick and wants to go home, but dude is insisting they go back to his crib she keeps telling him she's not feeling well and would get a rain check, but dude keeps being thirsty so she says eff it and goes to his crib, she says go go to his room and he immediately starts going down on her, shorty said her bowels just let loose and she %+$%#%* all on his head and mouth . Oh yea dude has dreadlocks, she said it just wouldn't stop she hopped off the bed and finished taking a dump and the corner of his room. After she was done she bounced and never talked to him again, it's crazy because I see dude out from time to time and all I can do is

 

[rolaholic]

Originally Posted by solefood229

Glad this thread got bumped, not my story but my homegirl of mine did it


She goes on a date with a guy she met a few weeks before, they go to some sushi spot, after shorty starts feeling sick and wants to go home, but dude is insisting they go back to his crib she keeps telling him she's not feeling well and would get a rain check, but dude keeps being thirsty so she says eff it and goes to his crib, she says go go to his room and he immediately starts going down on her, shorty said her bowels just let loose and she %+$%#%* all on his head and mouth . Oh yea dude has dreadlocks, she said it just wouldn't stop she hopped off the bed and finished taking a dump and the corner of his room. After she was done she bounced and never talked to him again, it's crazy because I see dude out from time to time and all I can do is

 

[cap1229]

Originally Posted by solefood229

Glad this thread got bumped, not my story but my homegirl of mine did it


She goes on a date with a guy she met a few weeks before, they go to some sushi spot, after shorty starts feeling sick and wants to go home, but dude is insisting they go back to his crib she keeps telling him she's not feeling well and would get a rain check, but dude keeps being thirsty so she says eff it and goes to his crib, she says go go to his room and he immediately starts going down on her, shorty said her bowels just let loose and she %+$%#%* all on his head and mouth . Oh yea dude has dreadlocks, she said it just wouldn't stop she hopped off the bed and finished taking a dump and the corner of his room. After she was done she bounced and never talked to him again, it's crazy because I see dude out from time to time and all I can do is

did she try and commit that? :/

 

[Peep Game]

That's &@*#($+ disgusting

Had it initially started how it was SUPPOSED to (with her doming him first), she would have *@&#
on the floor instead of his head, and everything would have been fine.

 

[whyhellothere]

^

real tears

 

[rusty shackelford]

Originally Posted by Peep Game

That's &@*#($+ disgusting

Had it initially started how it was SUPPOSED to (with her dome him first), she would have *@&#
on the floor instead of his head, and everything would have been fine.

 

[tr1ll]

Originally Posted by solefood229

Glad this thread got bumped, not my story but my homegirl of mine did it


She goes on a date with a guy she met a few weeks before, they go to some sushi spot, after shorty starts feeling sick and wants to go home, but dude is insisting they go back to his crib she keeps telling him she's not feeling well and would get a rain check, but dude keeps being thirsty so she says eff it and goes to his crib, she says go go to his room and he immediately starts going down on her, shorty said her bowels just let loose and she %+$%#%* all on his head and mouth . Oh yea dude has dreadlocks, she said it just wouldn't stop she hopped off the bed and finished taking a dump and the corner of his room. After she was done she bounced and never talked to him again, it's crazy because I see dude out from time to time and all I can do is

Dude, probably discovered a whole new side of himself. He gonna be asking chicks to +#!% on his chest now, on some Biggie skit type +#!%.

 

[celticspride34]

Originally Posted by Peep Game

That's &@*#($+ disgusting

Had it initially started how it was SUPPOSED to (with her doming him first), she would have *@&#
on the floor instead of his head, and everything would have been fine.

you an a-hole son... i mean that as a compliment...

 

[celticspride34]

Originally Posted by DoItAllPaul

This isn't my story but my best friends:

So he hits up with this girl who is known for taking it anal. Like this girl never took it in the vag and preferred anal so she could consider herself a virgin. She comes over late night and they are kissing and he is fooling around. They both get naked where he hears snoring. The girl is fast asleep in his bed. He thinks to himself "how am I gonna get rid of this hard on?" He then proceeds to grab her breasts and masturbate himself while the girl is sleeping. He finishes and just falls asleep next to her.

eehh... ive done this a couple times... usually my damn fault too...

 

[coldcity]

fam shoulda never had his @## down there

nasty mofo's

 

[girl thats drob]

Drunk as hell. Smashed chick all night. Sleep. Smashed in the morning. Nap. While I was napping, had a dream about peeing. Woke up, small puddle by her butt

Told her "Damn girl you got that wet wet"

and dipped

Another story

Halloween night, did hella drugs and had this girl back at my crib. Nose drips blood onto her face, while smashing

A young +$!!# still finished the job doe 

I was so @%*+%+ up though I didn't even notice

 

[coldcity]

on that booger sugar fam