Post your most embarrassing sexual encounters Vol. 2012

[ins]

Not really embarrassing for me but long story short, We were going at it and she stopped me. She said I want you to #%#% the @#!# out of me and don't stop. So i hit her with the 

 and start to go hard.  So we are going at it and I started to feel the bed moving a lot. Then she yelled dont stop and right when she said that the bed just snapped. It was one of those with the wheels on the bottom. So we are laughing but realized it was 3am and we had to go to sleep, so i told her to grab me a couple of books so i could prop the bed up. She comes back with 4 twilight books in a collectors edition case and started to read them on the bed. I hit her with the 

 and told her i had to go pick up my boy and just dipped. But that mass was 

 

[snax91]

Visited one of my friends at college ,and we went to a halloween party at his frat house. All the girls are in costumes looking slutty. I end up getting dome out on the lawn of the frat house and my friends see us. This doesn't stop us we go back to her place and we are in 69 ,and it smells like poop down there so I proceed to smash and I pull out so I can shoot on her chest and in my drunken state I get her in the eye. She chases me out of her place it is around 3 am and I end up stumbling around and find the frat house ,but it is locked so I end up sleeping in my friends car and left it on all night with the heat on. She texts me the next day thanking me for last night and we meet up again that weekend and I couldn't believe how she looked. She was chubby and ugly and my friends still let me hear about it till this day.

 

[bbrroowwnnssuuggaarr]

First time I did anything sexual with my ex before we were official we were messing around. I was hella drunk. About 3 40s deep and a few shots. She was completely sober. She wants to have sex real bad even though she swore up and down we werent going to do anything that night. I couldnt keep my stuff hard. It would go and then stop. This happened for a good minute. This whole time my stomach hurt from all the alcohol. She said eff it ill just give you head. As soon as I climaxed I farted in her face. She got up and ran to the bathroom to spit out my babys. The fart wasnt very loud and she never said anything so I thought she didnt hear it and I was relieved. Come to find out about a year into out relationship she heard it and it turned her off big time. She almost considered not dating me over it

. Had another incident that wasnt sexual. I had a real bad stomach flu and I farted in my sleep and *%!$ on her leg. She woke me up to tell me by butt wet her leg. She touched her pants where I *%!$ and smelled her hand then went back to sleep. I never loved her more than I did in that moment.

 

[214]

Originally Posted by bbrroowwnnssuuggaarr

First time I did anything sexual with my ex before we were official we were messing around. I was hella drunk. About 3 40s deep and a few shots. She was completely sober. She wants to have sex real bad even though she swore up and down we werent going to do anything that night. I couldnt keep my stuff hard. It would go and then stop. This happened for a good minute. This whole time my stomach hurt from all the alcohol. She said eff it ill just give you head. As soon as I climaxed I farted in her face. She got up and ran to the bathroom to spit out my babys. The fart wasnt very loud and she never said anything so I thought she didnt hear it and I was relieved. Come to find out about a year into out relationship she heard it and it turned her off big time. She almost considered not dating me over it

. Had another incident that wasnt sexual. I had a real bad stomach flu and I farted in my sleep and *%!$ on her leg. She woke me up to tell me by butt wet her leg. She touched her pants where I *%!$ and smelled her hand then went back to sleep. I never loved her more than I did in that moment.

It took her a year to hear it?

 

[solexsup]

Originally Posted by 214

Originally Posted by bbrroowwnnssuuggaarr

First time I did anything sexual with my ex before we were official we were messing around. I was hella drunk. About 3 40s deep and a few shots. She was completely sober. She wants to have sex real bad even though she swore up and down we werent going to do anything that night. I couldnt keep my stuff hard. It would go and then stop. This happened for a good minute. This whole time my stomach hurt from all the alcohol. She said eff it ill just give you head. As soon as I climaxed I farted in her face. She got up and ran to the bathroom to spit out my babys. The fart wasnt very loud and she never said anything so I thought she didnt hear it and I was relieved. Come to find out about a year into out relationship she heard it and it turned her off big time. She almost considered not dating me over it

. Had another incident that wasnt sexual. I had a real bad stomach flu and I farted in my sleep and *%!$ on her leg. She woke me up to tell me by butt wet her leg. She touched her pants where I *%!$ and smelled her hand then went back to sleep. I never loved her more than I did in that moment.

It took her a year to hear it?

was gonna say the same thing

 

[mht214]

 

[bbrroowwnnssuuggaarr]

Nah it took her a year to tell me that she heard it that night and I didnt play it off like I thought I did. 

 

[T Lo Sweater]

took the JO's shirt off, then proceeded to the bra. what i saw on her back disgusted me. !@#$ was ashy as hell! you could see the skin flakes on the back! im just feeling so uneasy about this. so im like ight $% it! i overlook it. after that i went down to the pants and took those off, then took the panties off. what i smelled next made me quiver. the box smelled unholy. the stench was horrid, i wouldnt even finger her, thats how bad it was. after all that i told her that this just wasnt working out and she needed to leave. when she left i made dam sure i put the sheets in the hamper

 

[ksteezy]

Originally Posted by solefood229

Glad this thread got bumped, not my story but my homegirl of mine did it


She goes on a date with a guy she met a few weeks before, they go to some sushi spot, after shorty starts feeling sick and wants to go home, but dude is insisting they go back to his crib she keeps telling him she's not feeling well and would get a rain check, but dude keeps being thirsty so she says eff it and goes to his crib, she says go go to his room and he immediately starts going down on her, shorty said her bowels just let loose and she %+$%#%* all on his head and mouth . Oh yea dude has dreadlocks, she said it just wouldn't stop she hopped off the bed and finished taking a dump and the corner of his room. After she was done she bounced and never talked to him again, it's crazy because I see dude out from time to time and all I can do is

I refuse to believe this is real...no way in hell a woman can do this.

 

[yeeupp]

Originally Posted by Girl Thats Drob

Drunk as hell. Smashed chick all night. Sleep. Smashed in the morning. Nap. While I was napping, had a dream about peeing. Woke up, small puddle by her butt

Told her "Damn girl you got that wet wet"

and dipped

 

[youngdoc]

I have a decent one from Vegas

I pull this chick on myspace, get her to come over and I smash. She's whatever looking but more of my boys type. Me and my boy are going to Vegas and we find out that this chick is going to be visiting her sister in Vegas at the same time. Her sister is more my type so we decide that I'll go for the sister and he'll go for the chick I smashed already. We get the chicks to come over to our room at Mandalay and we start pre-gaming. Head to LAX and at LAX the sister gets pissed at me because I wasn't offering to buy them drinks. I leave my boy with 2 of them and go on a mission. The talent isnt the best so I settle on this chubby Mexican chick. Everything is going well until she gets kicked out for having her shoes off. We can't find her shoes or her friends so she has to leave without them. I say we can go back to my room because we don't have to go outside (Mandalay and Luxor are connected). We go back to the room and start fooling around but she wants to take a bubble bath. There was nothing to use so my +*@ made an Old Spice bubble bath. After the bath I go down for a bit

and then proceed to smash. In the middle of her riding me the door opens and the sister screams "You ho!" and she grabs their stuff and bounces. Girl is shook up but she still lets me finish. She had no phone, no purse, and no shoes so I let her stay the night because she can't get in the room. Next morning I take her downstairs and she wears my flip flops. Have to give her $20 for the cab ride.After hearing the story My boy calls her Consuela and says "Nooooo nooo me no have no shoes"

Cliffs
Smashed a broad on myspace
Planned to smash her sister while my boy smashed her in Vegas
Plans fall through and end up essentially paying $20 to smash a chick that looked like she could have been a maid who had no shoes or money
The encounter included an Old Spice bubble bath and being interrupted by the sister screaming at her for being a ho

 

[ins]

Originally Posted by SolexSup

Originally Posted by 214

Originally Posted by bbrroowwnnssuuggaarr

First time I did anything sexual with my ex before we were official we were messing around. I was hella drunk. About 3 40s deep and a few shots. She was completely sober. She wants to have sex real bad even though she swore up and down we werent going to do anything that night. I couldnt keep my stuff hard. It would go and then stop. This happened for a good minute. This whole time my stomach hurt from all the alcohol. She said eff it ill just give you head. As soon as I climaxed I farted in her face. She got up and ran to the bathroom to spit out my babys. The fart wasnt very loud and she never said anything so I thought she didnt hear it and I was relieved. Come to find out about a year into out relationship she heard it and it turned her off big time. She almost considered not dating me over it

. Had another incident that wasnt sexual. I had a real bad stomach flu and I farted in my sleep and *%!$ on her leg. She woke me up to tell me by butt wet her leg. She touched her pants where I *%!$ and smelled her hand then went back to sleep. I never loved her more than I did in that moment.

It took her a year to hear it?

was gonna say the same thing

##! bro

 

[10 piece nuggets]

Originally Posted by INS

Originally Posted by SolexSup

Originally Posted by 214


It took her a year to hear it?

was gonna say the same thing

##! bro

@ the last line.

 

[Humbled]

Son has some serious rectal problems

 

[atlien seeko]

bbrroowwnnssuuggaarr wrote:

---

First time I did anything sexual with my ex before we were official we were messing around. I was hella drunk. About 3 40s deep and a few shots. She was completely sober. She wants to have sex real bad even though she swore up and down we werent going to do anything that night. I couldnt keep my stuff hard. It would go and then stop. This happened for a good minute. This whole time my stomach hurt from all the alcohol. She said eff it ill just give you head. As soon as I climaxed I farted in her face. She got up and ran to the bathroom to spit out my babys. The fart wasnt very loud and she never said anything so I thought she didnt hear it and I was relieved. Come to find out about a year into out relationship she heard it and it turned her off big time. She almost considered not dating me over it

. Had another incident that wasnt sexual. I had a real bad stomach flu and I farted in my sleep and *%!$ on her leg. She woke me up to tell me by butt wet her leg. She touched her pants where I *%!$ and smelled her hand then went back to sleep. I never loved her more than I did in that moment.


Strong

 

[iblink]

Recently smashing this one joint. She's "meh" at best, but she's got a fat %%*, nice *******, and good when the lights are off. So she comes over after a night of partying. I was drunk earlier, but I was coming around and getting extremely tired. So she rides and what not, but I'm so sleepy I'm not into really into it. Tell her to let me hit it from the side (I wasn't trying to get up) so I could do te least amount of work possible. Three minutes in and I feel the creeping premature ejaculant. I try to slow my pace and what not, but after ten seconds, I say f it and blow. I'm in deep, and starting to feel embarrassed that I came so early. So she calls my name and I don't answer. I end up pretending to be asleep and just slide out nonchalantly. I end up falling asleep with the condom on. Wake up the next morning like "ohh Damn I was so drunk." she humors me, saying it's okay. To this day she doesn't know I got mines and left her out to dry. No pun intended.

 

[Peep Game]

Originally Posted by TroyD

took the JO's shirt off, then proceeded to the bra. what i saw on her back disgusted me. !@#$ was ashy as hell! you could see the skin flakes on the back! im just feeling so uneasy about this. so im like ight $%&# it! i overlook it. after that i went down to the pants and took those off, then took the panties off. what i smelled next made me quiver. the box smelled unholy. the stench was horrid, i wouldnt even finger her, thats how bad it was. after all that i told her that this just wasnt working out and she needed to leave. when she left i made dam sure i put the sheets in the hamper

This &@*# just made my stomach turn and itch all over 

Originally Posted by iBlink

If you weren't wearing a condom, do you enjoy children?
EDIT: Nevermind

 reread the ending

 

[atlien seeko]

Originally Posted by Peep Game

Originally Posted by TroyD

took the JO's shirt off, then proceeded to the bra. what i saw on her back disgusted me. !@#$ was ashy as hell! you could see the skin flakes on the back! im just feeling so uneasy about this. so im like ight $%&# it! i overlook it. after that i went down to the pants and took those off, then took the panties off. what i smelled next made me quiver. the box smelled unholy. the stench was horrid, i wouldnt even finger her, thats how bad it was. after all that i told her that this just wasnt working out and she needed to leave. when she left i made dam sure i put the sheets in the hamper

This &@*# just made my stomach turn and itch all over 

I'm sayin tho... What kind of chicks you be messin with to run into a beast like this?

 

[T Lo Sweater]

Originally Posted by ATLien Seeko

Originally Posted by Peep Game

Originally Posted by TroyD

took the JO's shirt off, then proceeded to the bra. what i saw on her back disgusted me. !@#$ was ashy as hell! you could see the skin flakes on the back! im just feeling so uneasy about this. so im like ight $%&# it! i overlook it. after that i went down to the pants and took those off, then took the panties off. what i smelled next made me quiver. the box smelled unholy. the stench was horrid, i wouldnt even finger her, thats how bad it was. after all that i told her that this just wasnt working out and she needed to leave. when she left i made dam sure i put the sheets in the hamper

This &@*# just made my stomach turn and itch all over 

I'm sayin tho... What kind of chicks you be messin with to run into a beast like this?

im only into spanish girls. this one here was cuban. she looks good, so i never would have expected someone as good looking as her to have all that

 

[atlien seeko]

Originally Posted by TroyD

Originally Posted by ATLien Seeko

Originally Posted by Peep Game

This &@*# just made my stomach turn and itch all over 

I'm sayin tho... What kind of chicks you be messin with to run into a beast like this?

im only into spanish girls. this one here was cuban. she looks good, so i never would have expected someone as good looking as her to have all that

I'm not talking about look wise, but socially. Where the hell would you find a girl that doesnt take care of herself like that?

 

[scientific method]

[this post was left blank]

 

[T Lo Sweater]

Originally Posted by ATLien Seeko

Originally Posted by TroyD

Originally Posted by ATLien Seeko



I'm sayin tho... What kind of chicks you be messin with to run into a beast like this?

im only into spanish girls. this one here was cuban. she looks good, so i never would have expected someone as good looking as her to have all that

I'm not talking about look wise, but socially. Where the hell would you find a girl that doesnt take care of herself like that?

in college. she liked me since freshman year

 

[mplsdunk]

Originally Posted by iBlink

Recently smashing this one joint. She's "meh" at best, but she's got a fat %%*, nice *******, and good when the lights are off. So she comes over after a night of partying. I was drunk earlier, but I was coming around and getting extremely tired. So she rides and what not, but I'm so sleepy I'm not into really into it. Tell her to let me hit it from the side (I wasn't trying to get up) so I could do te least amount of work possible. Three minutes in and I feel the creeping premature ejaculant. I try to slow my pace and what not, but after ten seconds, I say f it and blow. I'm in deep, and starting to feel embarrassed that I came so early. So she calls my name and I don't answer. I end up pretending to be asleep and just slide out nonchalantly. I end up falling asleep with the condom on. Wake up the next morning like "ohh Damn I was so drunk." she humors me, saying it's okay. To this day she doesn't know I got mines and left her out to dry. No pun intended.

... you busted extra fast bro.  that's what the foul pieces as for.  don't be embarrassed, revel in it.

 

[newyawkremote]

This thread is hilarious.

 

[Nouss]

Whats up wit all these dudes going down on chicks without catchin the bop?

All i got is a couple stank cooch stories.
One chick, it was so bad i had to get revenge. Told her i was comin thru to smash.
I hit the gym before going and didnt shower and had girl bop me off.

she actually did it. When time came to pull her pants down to smash I "caught a cramp" and had to leave immediately.
Never saw her again.