So women want to be equals in EVERYTHING.....Until they get home??

[ldj]

Originally Posted by UptownsDotNetStacky

Originally Posted by Hazeleyed Honey

Originally Posted by LDJ

She wouldn't do each of these tasks I mentioned everyday. Some of the tasks here and there are spread out throughout the week. My mom is a clean freak and does not like dirt to accumulate. Like I said we are four girls, so while my sister and I were in elementary school, the others were still babies. So of course she had to stay at home Taking care of a baby is a full time job itself.

There is a heck lot more into it than just what I mentioned. I remember reading an article on Salary.com and they calculated that if there was a price on the average stay at home mom, their salary should be $138,095 if she were to be compensated for all the elements of her "job."   They used elements of10 jobs that moms do on an average day such as housekeeper, day care center teacher, cook, computer operator, laundry machine operator, janitor, facilities manager, van driver, CEO, psychologist,etc. I completely agree with their assessment.

  

You say that as though the father has zero part of raising the child outside of making money...I don't know too many two-parent households where the father doesn't do a share of all of the tasks you mentioned when they're home....

Exactly ppl like i said are stuck on this june clever alice brady era. What woman does 100% of everything for a man these days? Hell women get made when you leave clothes on the floor when you change or get out the shower. What woman in this day in age(generation) makes 21 meals a week? What woman doesnt use modern household cleaning technology this era? Draws baths? Serve a man hand and foot? Doesnt expect their kids to atleast pick up behind themselves, at least put away stuff, make bed, throw away there own mckie trash? Ladies please please show me the polls on that.

 

[ldj]

Originally Posted by UptownsDotNetStacky

Originally Posted by Hazeleyed Honey

Originally Posted by LDJ

She wouldn't do each of these tasks I mentioned everyday. Some of the tasks here and there are spread out throughout the week. My mom is a clean freak and does not like dirt to accumulate. Like I said we are four girls, so while my sister and I were in elementary school, the others were still babies. So of course she had to stay at home Taking care of a baby is a full time job itself.

There is a heck lot more into it than just what I mentioned. I remember reading an article on Salary.com and they calculated that if there was a price on the average stay at home mom, their salary should be $138,095 if she were to be compensated for all the elements of her "job."   They used elements of10 jobs that moms do on an average day such as housekeeper, day care center teacher, cook, computer operator, laundry machine operator, janitor, facilities manager, van driver, CEO, psychologist,etc. I completely agree with their assessment.

  

You say that as though the father has zero part of raising the child outside of making money...I don't know too many two-parent households where the father doesn't do a share of all of the tasks you mentioned when they're home....

Exactly ppl like i said are stuck on this june clever alice brady era. What woman does 100% of everything for a man these days? Hell women get made when you leave clothes on the floor when you change or get out the shower. What woman in this day in age(generation) makes 21 meals a week? What woman doesnt use modern household cleaning technology this era? Draws baths? Serve a man hand and foot? Doesnt expect their kids to atleast pick up behind themselves, at least put away stuff, make bed, throw away there own mckie trash? Ladies please please show me the polls on that.

 

[hazeleyed honey]

Originally Posted by UptownsDotNetStacky

Maybe it is due to the Middle Eastern culture, and he is an amazing father and a workoholic, but I don't remember him cleaning as much like my mom or changing diapers. I know some Arab men who help out like that being hands on dads, but most Arab men will be workoholics while the mom does all the home chore and hands on tasks of taking care of kids. He works long hours though and is a very loving and caring father and he works on weekends. We also came to Canada very poor living under the poverty line, but I seriously never even felt it or knew we were on welfare because they gave us all the love and necessities. My parents are the reason all of us girls have our university education paid throughout because of the trust fund they did for us (they literally paid for my first 3 years of undergrad, I paid out of my own pocket for my last year of undergrad and for my 2 year Masters program - but, rest of sisters, all their 4 years were paid by my parents), and will come out with no debt.

Let me mention that my mom was a stay at home, all the while she was doing her part-time studies to get her Linguistics Masters degree. So, ok, maybe I am taking my mom's own experiences, but I just don't know how some here are undervaluing the work of stay at home moms.

214, yes I know! She is an amazing and perfect woman. I wish I can be half as amazing she is. That's your old school Middle Eastern women for you. She has been working in the government for years now (over a decade) with great benefits and my dad has a self-employed driving instructor business, and they came here with nothing.

 

[hazeleyed honey]

Originally Posted by UptownsDotNetStacky

Maybe it is due to the Middle Eastern culture, and he is an amazing father and a workoholic, but I don't remember him cleaning as much like my mom or changing diapers. I know some Arab men who help out like that being hands on dads, but most Arab men will be workoholics while the mom does all the home chore and hands on tasks of taking care of kids. He works long hours though and is a very loving and caring father and he works on weekends. We also came to Canada very poor living under the poverty line, but I seriously never even felt it or knew we were on welfare because they gave us all the love and necessities. My parents are the reason all of us girls have our university education paid throughout because of the trust fund they did for us (they literally paid for my first 3 years of undergrad, I paid out of my own pocket for my last year of undergrad and for my 2 year Masters program - but, rest of sisters, all their 4 years were paid by my parents), and will come out with no debt.

Let me mention that my mom was a stay at home, all the while she was doing her part-time studies to get her Linguistics Masters degree. So, ok, maybe I am taking my mom's own experiences, but I just don't know how some here are undervaluing the work of stay at home moms.

214, yes I know! She is an amazing and perfect woman. I wish I can be half as amazing she is. That's your old school Middle Eastern women for you. She has been working in the government for years now (over a decade) with great benefits and my dad has a self-employed driving instructor business, and they came here with nothing.

 

[nawth21]

Not having a dishwasher blows. So does doing dishes in a single basin sink

and I'd kill for an in unit washer dryer. You know you're old when you get excited over appliances.

Like that washer that moves in 5 different directions. Come to momma.

 

[nawth21]

Not having a dishwasher blows. So does doing dishes in a single basin sink

and I'd kill for an in unit washer dryer. You know you're old when you get excited over appliances.

Like that washer that moves in 5 different directions. Come to momma.

 

[hazeleyed honey]

Let me just add that my dad also did/does part of the raising, but when it comes to the physical tasks of chores, maybe he will do the dishes here and there. That's old school Middle Eastern men for you. Oh yea, my dad cooks sometimes too.

When we host huge dinners at the house, dad does the grocery shopping, mom cooks and cleans. When the families come, everyone eats, and when everyone is done, get this...The men go sit in the living room, while the women clean up the table and do the dishes and then make the tea. While the men after eating are sitting in the living room waiting to get their coffee and tea. Then the women sit down, while the host woman (my mom) is going around here and there getting drinks and sweets and doing dishes with the other women helping her out.

I remember going to my supervisor's house, she is Chinese in her early 30s. I was so shocked by her husband helping her out during the hosting of the dinner. I am used to seeing the men sitting down after eating, including the dad/husband host, and waiting to be served with coffee and tea.

 

[hazeleyed honey]

Let me just add that my dad also did/does part of the raising, but when it comes to the physical tasks of chores, maybe he will do the dishes here and there. That's old school Middle Eastern men for you. Oh yea, my dad cooks sometimes too.

When we host huge dinners at the house, dad does the grocery shopping, mom cooks and cleans. When the families come, everyone eats, and when everyone is done, get this...The men go sit in the living room, while the women clean up the table and do the dishes and then make the tea. While the men after eating are sitting in the living room waiting to get their coffee and tea. Then the women sit down, while the host woman (my mom) is going around here and there getting drinks and sweets and doing dishes with the other women helping her out.

I remember going to my supervisor's house, she is Chinese in her early 30s. I was so shocked by her husband helping her out during the hosting of the dinner. I am used to seeing the men sitting down after eating, including the dad/husband host, and waiting to be served with coffee and tea.

 

[hazeleyed honey]

Originally Posted by LDJ

And guess who did these polls MEN.... MEN who have never done the work. So how can they evaulate a job they never done. I have kids rather they are older now and I did a labor job the staying at home with them, and now a pencil pusher. Stay at home until daycare/kindergarden>my pencil pusher work but any labor job I ever did> housework. Plus those polls dont even make sense when you use logic how can a housewife work be worth more then a live-in maid nanny? That is essentially what a housewife is with the exception the housewife boar the kids. And a maid/nanny doesnt make 138k hell they dont even make 38K. Its funny how everyone who believes this mess is a woman and or someone who doesnt have kids and havent stayed at home with kids.

Good to know you have a big hands on role in helping out with the kids and house chores. Did you take care of the kids full time when they were babies?

I just think in general that being a parent, whether mom or dad, is one of the hardest jobs in the world.

  

 

[hazeleyed honey]

Originally Posted by LDJ

And guess who did these polls MEN.... MEN who have never done the work. So how can they evaulate a job they never done. I have kids rather they are older now and I did a labor job the staying at home with them, and now a pencil pusher. Stay at home until daycare/kindergarden>my pencil pusher work but any labor job I ever did> housework. Plus those polls dont even make sense when you use logic how can a housewife work be worth more then a live-in maid nanny? That is essentially what a housewife is with the exception the housewife boar the kids. And a maid/nanny doesnt make 138k hell they dont even make 38K. Its funny how everyone who believes this mess is a woman and or someone who doesnt have kids and havent stayed at home with kids.

Good to know you have a big hands on role in helping out with the kids and house chores. Did you take care of the kids full time when they were babies?

I just think in general that being a parent, whether mom or dad, is one of the hardest jobs in the world.

  

 

[DCAllAfrican]

HazleNut, I think that all LDJ is saying is the being a housewife shouldn't be compared to a full time job because the amount of down time isn't really comparable. He thinks that your use of "ALL DAY" is an exaggeration. Nobody is saying that it isn't a lot of responsibility but you don't cook, clean, and wash ALL day EVERY day.

That is where the conflict is between you two.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

HazleNut, I think that all LDJ is saying is the being a housewife shouldn't be compared to a full time job because the amount of down time isn't really comparable. He thinks that your use of "ALL DAY" is an exaggeration. Nobody is saying that it isn't a lot of responsibility but you don't cook, clean, and wash ALL day EVERY day.

That is where the conflict is between you two.

 

[ldj]

Originally Posted by Hazeleyed Honey

Let me just add that my dad also did/does part of the raising, but when it comes to the physical tasks of chores, maybe he will do the dishes here and there. That's old school Middle Eastern men for you. Oh yea, my dad cooks sometimes too.

When we host huge dinners at the house, dad does the grocery shopping, mom cooks and cleans. When the families come, everyone eats, and when everyone is done, get this...The men go sit in the living room, while the women clean up the table and do the dishes and then make the tea. While the men after eating are sitting in the living room waiting to get their coffee and tea. Then the women sit down, while the host woman (my mom) is going around here and there getting drinks and sweets and doing dishes with the other women helping her out.

I remember going to my supervisor's house, she is Chinese in her early 30s. I was so shocked by her husband helping her out during the hosting of the dinner. I am used to seeing the men sitting down after eating, including the dad/husband host, and waiting to be served with coffee and tea.

And how many modern day american men/women live the lives and pratice the traditions of 40/50 yr old middle easterns. And relic ways of the chinese? And even you said your mom worked/went to school and dad helped out.

 

[mytmouse76]

Originally Posted by Nawth21

Not having a dishwasher blows. So does doing dishes in a single basin sink

and I'd kill for an in unit washer dryer. You know you're old when you get excited over appliances.

Like that washer that moves in 5 different directions. Come to momma.

i haven't used a dishwasher in like 4 years...i have one...just never use it...

 

[ldj]

Originally Posted by Hazeleyed Honey

Let me just add that my dad also did/does part of the raising, but when it comes to the physical tasks of chores, maybe he will do the dishes here and there. That's old school Middle Eastern men for you. Oh yea, my dad cooks sometimes too.

When we host huge dinners at the house, dad does the grocery shopping, mom cooks and cleans. When the families come, everyone eats, and when everyone is done, get this...The men go sit in the living room, while the women clean up the table and do the dishes and then make the tea. While the men after eating are sitting in the living room waiting to get their coffee and tea. Then the women sit down, while the host woman (my mom) is going around here and there getting drinks and sweets and doing dishes with the other women helping her out.

I remember going to my supervisor's house, she is Chinese in her early 30s. I was so shocked by her husband helping her out during the hosting of the dinner. I am used to seeing the men sitting down after eating, including the dad/husband host, and waiting to be served with coffee and tea.

And how many modern day american men/women live the lives and pratice the traditions of 40/50 yr old middle easterns. And relic ways of the chinese? And even you said your mom worked/went to school and dad helped out.

 

[mytmouse76]

Originally Posted by Nawth21

Not having a dishwasher blows. So does doing dishes in a single basin sink

and I'd kill for an in unit washer dryer. You know you're old when you get excited over appliances.

Like that washer that moves in 5 different directions. Come to momma.

i haven't used a dishwasher in like 4 years...i have one...just never use it...

 

[hazeleyed honey]

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

HazleNut, I think that all LDJ is saying is the being a housewife shouldn't be compared to a full time job because the amount of down time isn't really comparable. He thinks that your use of "ALL DAY" is an exaggeration. Nobody is saying that it isn't a lot of responsibility but you don't cook, clean, and wash ALL day EVERY day.

That is where the conflict is between you two.

Yea, I think that is what it is.

But then again, it depends what kind of jobs you do like Mouse mentioned. There are some full time jobs that are very easy going and some that are very strenuous and overbearing. Some housewives don't really get much down time if their baby keeps them up all night. Maybe some NTer moms can give better insight on their experiences. I have no babies.
    

 

[hazeleyed honey]

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

HazleNut, I think that all LDJ is saying is the being a housewife shouldn't be compared to a full time job because the amount of down time isn't really comparable. He thinks that your use of "ALL DAY" is an exaggeration. Nobody is saying that it isn't a lot of responsibility but you don't cook, clean, and wash ALL day EVERY day.

That is where the conflict is between you two.

Yea, I think that is what it is.

But then again, it depends what kind of jobs you do like Mouse mentioned. There are some full time jobs that are very easy going and some that are very strenuous and overbearing. Some housewives don't really get much down time if their baby keeps them up all night. Maybe some NTer moms can give better insight on their experiences. I have no babies.
    

 

[hazeleyed honey]

Originally Posted by LDJ

And how many modern day american men/women live the lives and pratice the traditions of 40/50 yr old middle easterns. And relic ways of the chinese? And even you said your mom worked/went to school and dad helped out.

I still think that a lot of work housewives/stay at home moms do is undervalued to some extent, but then again it depends on different circumstances and situations.





  

 

[hazeleyed honey]

Originally Posted by LDJ

And how many modern day american men/women live the lives and pratice the traditions of 40/50 yr old middle easterns. And relic ways of the chinese? And even you said your mom worked/went to school and dad helped out.

I still think that a lot of work housewives/stay at home moms do is undervalued to some extent, but then again it depends on different circumstances and situations.





  

 

[pacmagic2002]

Like some people said......I wouldnt mind a woman staying at home cooking, cleaning, taking care of the kids, washing clothes....making sure the bills are paid with the money i make and such.

I dont have a problem with that at all. (even though it is still a little one sided)

Now, if she does all the other stuff i previously mentioned AND works a part time job and doesnt help with the bills........thats still ok with me (i suck at cooking anyway).

But a full time job and we split the duties inside the house and she doesnt help with the bills? @*$+#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[pacmagic2002]

Like some people said......I wouldnt mind a woman staying at home cooking, cleaning, taking care of the kids, washing clothes....making sure the bills are paid with the money i make and such.

I dont have a problem with that at all. (even though it is still a little one sided)

Now, if she does all the other stuff i previously mentioned AND works a part time job and doesnt help with the bills........thats still ok with me (i suck at cooking anyway).

But a full time job and we split the duties inside the house and she doesnt help with the bills? @*$+#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[DCAllAfrican]

That is true but being at home all day already has the hidden attribute of comfort. Whether or not you are working or not. You have access to personal (and not corporate) space while you are home and "working."

Yes some jobs people essentially use NT for 7 hours, but that type of a job shouldn't be considered the norm. The same way a mother having to take care of 4 kids as a house wife isn't the norm.

It is a lot of work but on the surface of it, I wouldn't think a housewife is working nonstop while she is home

@ Mouse, don't feel bad. I have never used a dishwasher in my life.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

That is true but being at home all day already has the hidden attribute of comfort. Whether or not you are working or not. You have access to personal (and not corporate) space while you are home and "working."

Yes some jobs people essentially use NT for 7 hours, but that type of a job shouldn't be considered the norm. The same way a mother having to take care of 4 kids as a house wife isn't the norm.

It is a lot of work but on the surface of it, I wouldn't think a housewife is working nonstop while she is home

@ Mouse, don't feel bad. I have never used a dishwasher in my life.

 

[nawth21]

We used to have one in the old place, I'd say I used it 50/50? but dishes were easier to do by hand with a double basin sink. Our problem is we have like 4 sets of dinnerware but only 2 of us

and I'm lazy. And hate dishes. Not to mention pots and pans. Argh lol then there's the 4 flights of stairs between you and the laundry machines