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- Apr 25, 2005
Your essay is too broad. I think this is why people find this essay repetitive and lacking. You're not developing one idea -- instead you're justpresenting multiple ideas while barely getting into the information.
It would really help if you just choose one of the three topics in your thesis statement -- that way, you can give your reader a more in depth argument ratherthan just scratching the surface of the whole marijuana debate.
1. Choose one topic from your thesis
2. Why do you think that topic is important to the legalization of marijuana?
3. What are people saying about it, and why is your argument better than theirs?
Good luck.
Edit: I didn't read the essay. I only read the thesis. I'm an English major so trust me.
It would really help if you just choose one of the three topics in your thesis statement -- that way, you can give your reader a more in depth argument ratherthan just scratching the surface of the whole marijuana debate.
1. Choose one topic from your thesis
2. Why do you think that topic is important to the legalization of marijuana?
3. What are people saying about it, and why is your argument better than theirs?
Good luck.
Edit: I didn't read the essay. I only read the thesis. I'm an English major so trust me.