What would make a guy interested in a girl he was not initially interested in? Vol. Keepin' it rea

[k2theablam]

Originally Posted by SShanique

Originally Posted by K2theAblaM

Originally Posted by SShanique

Like I said. Straight Grimey.

Can you explain to me how that is grimey?  I'm not attracted to any successful person, just him.

I'm not going to explain it when someone already has.

Originally Posted by AntonLaVey

Originally Posted by dreClark

Yeah, so y'all always ride on this chick (w/ reason most of the time) but I don't see a problem w/ this last little discussion is about.

I mean, what woman WOULDN'T want that. Just like a dude would love that about another chick.

That's attractive to anybody. To say any different is asinine.

Carry on.

I don't see any gold diggerism's yet

Not saying that they aren't there though.

I'm not even calling her a gold-digger.......I'm calling her a "potential" gold-digger.[color= rgb(255, 0, 0)] Love should be about a connection and the "intangibles" such as personality, shared interests and values.....not a business, house and a nice car. That's all I'm saying.[/color]

You're going straight for the money. Apparently, his personality and accent are just a bonus since "

  If he had not owned the restaurant, I don't think I would have been interested in him at all, especially since he had a tattoo.  If I ever see him again, I'm going to tease him about it. 

 
edit: Here this is for you

Spoiler

Spoiler

Spoiler [+]

 

[ThaxbyChamblis]

Originally Posted by AntonLaVey

Originally Posted by dreClark

Originally Posted by AntonLaVey

I'm not even calling her a gold-digger.......I'm calling her a "potential" gold-digger. Love should be about a connection and the "intangibles" such as personality, shared interests and values.....not a business, house and a nice car. That's all I'm saying.

No doubt bro, and you're 100% right, but we aren't talking about LOVE right now, we're talking about an initial attraction/courtship. Owning a business, etc is what she comes from (provided she is not a troll) so those would be shared interests and values, no ?

Well yea.....but I would never make a transition from casual fun to a long-term committed thing if a girl gives me the impression she is obsessed with my success.

@@%%, me neither. And I don't think any rational man would. Through her actions post intial meeting, you can feel that type of stuff out and make the right move.

 

[sshanique]

Originally Posted by dreClark

Originally Posted by AntonLaVey

I'm not even calling her a gold-digger.......I'm calling her a "potential" gold-digger. Love should be about a connection and the "intangibles" such as personality, shared interests and values.....not a business, house and a nice car. That's all I'm saying.

No doubt bro, and you're 100% right, but we aren't talking about LOVE right now, we're talking about an initial attraction/courtship. Owning a business, etc is what she comes from (provided she is not a troll) so those would be shared interests and values, no ?

Thank you, fam!  And no, I am not a troll.

I also was intrigued, because the guy was young, owned a business, and I plan on owning my own business some day.  The last time I was home, my dad told me that instead of sitting around the house, I need to be thinking of ways to make money.  He said he'd get me started on a hair salon or an apartment complex.  He told me I should start going around looking at some land.  That was not my idea, but I do plan on starting my own firm once I get some experience under my belt in the legal field.  I wanted to talk to the guy about how he got started and everything.

  

 

[sshanique]

Originally Posted by AntonLaVey

Originally Posted by dreClark

Originally Posted by AntonLaVey

I'm not even calling her a gold-digger.......I'm calling her a "potential" gold-digger. Love should be about a connection and the "intangibles" such as personality, shared interests and values.....not a business, house and a nice car. That's all I'm saying.

No doubt bro, and you're 100% right, but we aren't talking about LOVE right now, we're talking about an initial attraction/courtship. Owning a business, etc is what she comes from (provided she is not a troll) so those would be shared interests and values, no ?

Well yea.....but I would never make a transition from casual fun to a long-term committed thing if a girl gives me the impression she is obsessed with my success.

   This guy has been calling me a lawyer and letting everyone know that I am a lawyer even before I graduated, so if anyone is obsessed with success, it's him, although I don't think he's obsessed.

 

[antonlavey]

  If he had not owned the restaurant, I don't think I would have been interested in him at all, especially since he had a tattoo.


You said it yourself.

Girl: I don't like him....he has a tattoo. He's probably a criminal.
Guy: Hey, is there anything i can get you....i own this restaurant
Girl: (Makes orgasm noises and shows interest)

 

[capricorn1229]

I'm calling unicorn status on you Sshanque. I was giving you the benefit of the doubt before but something is off. Something in the milk ain't clean.

 

[sshanique]

Originally Posted by K2theAblaM

Originally Posted by SShanique

Originally Posted by K2theAblaM

Originally Posted by SShanique

Like I said. Straight Grimey.

Can you explain to me how that is grimey?  I'm not attracted to any successful person, just him.

I'm not going to explain it when someone already has.

Originally Posted by AntonLaVey

Originally Posted by dreClark

Yeah, so y'all always ride on this chick (w/ reason most of the time) but I don't see a problem w/ this last little discussion is about.

I mean, what woman WOULDN'T want that. Just like a dude would love that about another chick.

That's attractive to anybody. To say any different is asinine.

Carry on.

I don't see any gold diggerism's yet

Not saying that they aren't there though.

I'm not even calling her a gold-digger.......I'm calling her a "potential" gold-digger. Love should be about a connection and the "intangibles" such as personality, shared interests and values.....not a business, house and a nice car. That's all I'm saying.

You're going straight for the money. Apparently, his personality and accent are just a bonus since "

  If he had not owned the restaurant, I don't think I would have been interested in him at all, especially since he had a tattoo.  If I ever see him again, I'm going to tease him about it. 

 
edit: Here this is for you

Spoiler

Spoiler

Spoiler [+]

And I said I had heard about him and his restaurant many times before he even walked in.  I was attracted to him, so what?  It was nice of him to even come and check our place out.  Not even that, but he called his sister and her son to join him.  We talked.  He was nice to me.  I asked him questions about himself, and he asked questions about me.  He seemed like a really genuine guy, and while he was paying before leaving, I asked how old he was.  He said he was 25, which would have made him 24 or younger when he was first starting his business.  I was even more impressed then, and he left me a nice tip.  I didn't know he owned a house at the time, and I was thinking that if he owned a business, then his parents must have started it for him, or somethin.'  I just had a lot of questions about him.  Of course I didn't ask him.

And if you really want to get technical about it, I am sure he got loans to buy the house and the restaurant.  It's not like he has that much money to buy them outright, so I'm sure's paying them off as he goes, as I will be paying my student loans as I go.  But hey, it would have been nice if we could have paid off our investments together.

 

[ThaxbyChamblis]

Originally Posted by AntonLaVey

Girl: I don't like him....he has a tattoo. He's probably a criminal.
Guy: Hey, is there anything i can get you....i own this restaurant
Girl: (Makes orgasm noises and shows interest)

 

[westcoastsfinest]

Originally Posted by OptimusPrimeAPhiA

SShanique wrote:

---

I know this girl who regularly crossed paths with this guy for several years, and he just recently started dating her.  I'm wondering why he did not ask her out sooner.  Was he not attracted to her all those years or what?  If you've been in a similar situation, what brought about the change of heart?

...

You know this girl...

...let me guess...you're "just trying to help..."

but honestly change of heart and he finally realized it...it really goes both ways though

OP why would you have a change of heart for a guy if it happened to you?
  

 

[antonlavey]

LOL @ this chick hanging out at pizza shops to bag Italians.

Everything about her is entertaining to me.

 

[optimusprimeaphia]

isn't it funny how this thread was about her "friend" at first? Now shes directly fielding the questions?

Shes such a clown...

 

[keepzdasneakz]

Originally Posted by SShanique

Originally Posted by Kim1

Why don't you just ask him?

I don't know the guy.  Plus, the question is not specifically about these two people.  Hearing about them made me wonder how a man would go so long without asking the girl out and if someone here had experienced this.

You're over-analyzing, once again. And there is not merely a single "how" of why a situation like "theirs" went the way it did. Being as old as you are, you've never witnessed any other instances of people who've known each other for a while before they became official? 

 

[sshanique]

Originally Posted by AntonLaVey


  If he had not owned the restaurant, I don't think I would have been interested in him at all, especially since he had a tattoo.


You said it yourself.

Girl: I don't like him....he has a tattoo. He's probably a criminal.
Guy: Hey, is there anything i can get you....i own this restaurant
Girl: (Makes orgasm noises and shows interest)

It was not like that.  Here goes:

Manager earlier that morning:  I took some fresh Basil over to the restaurant across the street this morning.
Hours later:  Young guy drives up to empty restaurant.
Guy:  Can I speak to your manager?
Girl:  He's not here. 
Guy:  Well, I own the restaurant across the street.  He brought me some fresh basil this morning.
Girl to self:  THIS is the guy who owns the restaurant across the street?  How old is he?
Guy:  Can I see a menu?

Guy looks at the menu and starts calling people.  Girl starts checking Guy out and sees that he has a tattoo, which she is not fond of.  Then he tells me two other people will join him.  I'm thinking, okay, he just called his boys to join him.

Girl:  You can follow me.  Are you from Italy?
Guy:  I'm Italian, but I'm from Albania.
Girl:  What would you like to drink?
Guy:  Do you have Pepsi?
Girl:  Yes.

Girl brings back Pepsi.

Guy:  Where did you work before here?

WTH?  He thinks he remembers seeing me working in another restaurant or somethin'?  I'll show him.  I worked at a law firm before this.

Girl:  I'm in school.

Girl goes back to the front.  Then another girl and her son walks in.  Girl thinks, "Great, he has a wife and a baby."  Girl shows them to their table.  They sit down.

Guy:  This is my sister.
Sister:  Hi.
Girl:  Hi!  

Girl thinking... if he had a girlfriend he would have called her.  Yes!

I will stop here.

 
  

 

[me4u2night]

Originally Posted by SShanique

Why is anyone mad at me for wanting to be with someone who could be my equivalent? Are y'all trying to make me out to be a golddigger or something? When he told me he was 25, I perked up. On the flip side, when I told him I was graduating law school in two months, he perked up. I don't see what the big deal is. I never even accepted a date from him. I was more concerned with my classes, and I felt he could wait. How does that make me a golddigger?

 at this entire thread.
SShanique always manages to get her self into trouble 

I'm sure your responses were innocent, but this is how we see it.

Even though you're on the verge of becoming an attorney, you're not quite his equivalent.

Do you have a House? Car? Restaurant? Probably not.

And I'm sure he perked up because he saw it as someone who could possibly be HIS EQUIVALENT.

But until you get the 120-150K salary you are not his equivalent.

[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
[/font]

 

[sshanique]

Originally Posted by westcoastsfinest

Originally Posted by OptimusPrimeAPhiA

SShanique wrote:

---

I know this girl who regularly crossed paths with this guy for several years, and he just recently started dating her.  I'm wondering why he did not ask her out sooner.  Was he not attracted to her all those years or what?  If you've been in a similar situation, what brought about the change of heart?

...

You know this girl...

...let me guess...you're "just trying to help..."

but honestly change of heart and he finally realized it...it really goes both ways though

OP why would you have a change of heart for a guy if it happened to you?
  

If he suddenly noticed me after years, I don't think I would be interested in him.  I would wonder what was wrong before.
  

 

[hazeleyed honey]

SShanique, you are very....peculiar.

But, your posts bring lulz and seem to incite a lot of discussion around here, so you must be doing something right.

Bless you.

 

[sshanique]

Originally Posted by OptimusPrimeAPhiA

isn't it funny how this thread was about her "friend" at first? Now shes directly fielding the questions?

Shes such a clown...

The questions I'm fielding are not even related to the topic at hand.  It went off on a tangent, when that guy implied that I was a golddigger.

  

 

[hovkid]

Where do you go to law school?  It will help me understand if you have a good shot at getting the type of guy you seem to want.

 

[me4u2night]

Originally Posted by SShanique

Originally Posted by AntonLaVey




You said it yourself.

Girl: I don't like him....he has a tattoo. He's probably a criminal.
Guy: Hey, is there anything i can get you....i own this restaurant
Girl: (Makes orgasm noises and shows interest)

It was not like that.  Here goes:

Manager earlier that morning:  I took some fresh Basil over to the restaurant across the street this morning.
Hours later:  Young guy drives up to empty restaurant.
Guy:  Can I speak to your manager?
Girl:  He's not here. 
Guy:  Well, I own the restaurant across the street.  He brought me some fresh basil this morning.
Girl to self:  THIS is the guy who owns the restaurant across the street?  How old is he?
Guy:  Can I see a menu.

Guy looks at the menu and starts calling people.  Then he tells me two other people will join him.  I'm thinking, okay, he just called his boys to join him.

Girl:  You can follow me.  Are you from Italy?
Guy:  I'm Italian, but I'm from Albania.
Girl:  What would you like to drink?
Guy:  Do you have Pepsi?
Girl:  Yes.

Girl brings back Pepsi.

Guy:  Where did you work before here?

WTH?  He think he remembers seeing me working in another restaurant or somethin'?  I'll show him.  I worked at a law firm before this.

Girl:  I'm in school.

Girl goes back to the front?  Then another girl and her son walks in.  Girl thinks, "Great, he has a wife and a baby."  Girl shows them to their table.  They sit down.

Guy:  This is my sister.
Sister:  Hi.
Girl:  Hi!  

Girl thinking... if he had a girlfriend he would have called her.  Yes!

I will stop here.

 
  

I thought you met him because he went Ric Flair on you 

 

[sshanique]

Originally Posted by Me4u2Night

Originally Posted by SShanique

Why is anyone mad at me for wanting to be with someone who could be my equivalent? Are y'all trying to make me out to be a golddigger or something? When he told me he was 25, I perked up. On the flip side, when I told him I was graduating law school in two months, he perked up. I don't see what the big deal is. I never even accepted a date from him. I was more concerned with my classes, and I felt he could wait. How does that make me a golddigger?

 at this entire thread.
SShanique always manages to get her self into trouble 

I'm sure your responses were innocent, but this is how we see it.

Even though you're on the verge of becoming an attorney, you're not quite his equivalent.

Do you have a House? Car? Restaurant? Probably not.

And I'm sure he perked up because he saw it as someone who could possibly be HIS EQUIVALENT.

But until you get the 120-150K salary you are not his equivalent.

[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
[/font]

I don't think he even makes that much money yet, because his restaurant has only been open for a little over a year now. I think we both see tremendous potential in each other to be what you just mentioned, though. 

Thanks fam.

 

[blackmagnus514]

Why are you all entertaining this foolishness?

 

[shaze804]

Originally Posted by Me4u2Night

Originally Posted by SShanique

Why is anyone mad at me for wanting to be with someone who could be my equivalent? Are y'all trying to make me out to be a golddigger or something? When he told me he was 25, I perked up. On the flip side, when I told him I was graduating law school in two months, he perked up. I don't see what the big deal is. I never even accepted a date from him. I was more concerned with my classes, and I felt he could wait. How does that make me a golddigger?

 at this entire thread.
SShanique always manages to get her self into trouble 

I'm sure your responses were innocent, but this is how we see it.

Even though you're on the verge of becoming an attorney, you're not quite his equivalent.

Do you have a House? Car? Restaurant? Probably not.

And I'm sure he perked up because he saw it as someone who could possibly be HIS EQUIVALENT.

But until you get the 120-150K salary you are not his equivalent.

[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
[/font]

false sense of entitlement. this is 1 of the things that irked me about that ABC news special "why blk women are unmarried"(besides the lackluster reporting)

...can't find someone their equivalent? for yrs it was the other way around meaning men were marrying down...now more women are breadwinners why is there a issue with marrying someone with lower income than yourself...but thats another topic i guess.

 

[antonlavey]

Originally Posted by HOVKid

Where do you go to law school?  It will help me understand if you have a good shot at getting the type of guy you seem to want.

I would like to know this as well

 

[sshanique]

Nah, that's how I met him.  Then a couple weeks later, he came back.  I was going to get a menu and take him to a seat, but he stopped me and told me he wanted something to go.  I asked what he wanted, and he was saying whatever it was he had last time.  Of course, I remembered it was the sweet and sour chicken.  I don't even think we had a conversation that day.  I don't remember.  He tipped me and left.  Then I didn't see him for about 3 months.  The next time I saw him, we had a conversation, and now that I think about it, it was all about me.  He asked me a lot of questions. He found out I was about to graduate law school, my age, and he told me I could come to his birthday party.  I didn't think he liked me. I thought he was being nice, and I only got home at around 7:30 p.m. on Mondays after bankruptcy.  I wasn't thinking about going to anybody's party after that class.

The next week, my sister visited me, and just as it was a nice gesture for my boss to take him fresh basil, and he returned the favor by coming over to our restaurant, I thought it was a nice gesture for him to invite me, a stranger, to his birthday party.  My sister and I went to his restaurant for the first time.  He came to our table talking about 4 times.  He was way more attentive than our server, who I think only saw twice!  We were about to leave, and our server was ringing me up, and he came out of another room and said, "Let me do it."  I was about to leave, and he said, "Now, you know where we are, you can come back."  This was on a Sunday.  The next day I worked, he left work early, came over to our restaurant and tried to ask me out.  I knew I couldn't go, because I had a book to read and a paper to write by Monday.  Then the next Saturday morning he came back again with his friend. 

The next two times I saw him, I went to his restaurant, and those were the two times he did the Ric Flair.  He would be coming from the back, see that it's me, and do the Ric Flair.

 

[viiheaven]

Originally Posted by blackmagnus514

Why are you all entertaining this foolishness?

QFT.

QFE.

This.

That.

Co-sign.