Why did she ruin her life? vol. Black women issues

[atlsfinest]

 

[ricky409]

yambo >> _____

 

[truthgetsbusy]

You guys are pretty dense. She ruined her life in a sense she's made things really hard for herself and she's not going live the life we all know she wanted for herself.

1. She has a good job for a single young person but that's before the baby. Babies cost bread.
2. She is still single, no man for comfort through this pregnancy
3. She has to deal with ol' boy for the rest of her life. That's drama and stress
4. She has to raise a child without a father. That's added stress and money
5. Her dating pool just shrunk cuz some dudes don't wanna deal with her kid and baby daddy
6. She had ideas of being an entrepreneur and that's probably never gonna happen.

It's not like she's bringing a puppy home. Things done changed.

 

[da r entertainment]

You guys are pretty dense. She ruined her life in a sense she's made things really hard for herself and she's not going live the life we all know she wanted for herself.

1. She has a good job for a single young person but that's before the baby. Babies cost bread.
2. She is still single, no man for comfort through this pregnancy
3. She has to deal with ol' boy for the rest of her life. That's drama and stress
4. She has to raise a child without a father. That's added stress and money
5. Her dating pool just shrunk cuz some dudes don't wanna deal with her kid and baby daddy
6. She had ideas of being an entrepreneur and that's probably never gonna happen.

It's not like she's bringing a puppy home. Things done changed.

Again I ask, why do you care if you're NOT the father and you're NOT her guy tho

 

[jesusshuttlesworth34]

Ruined is a strong word.....But forever altered is definitely right on. I used to always think that if I had a child early on as well, my life was over....because YOUR life does end when you have a kid and you are forced to provide for two and grow up reallllllllllly quick and become selfless (that is all if you want to be a good quality parent of course).


But yes....all statements 1-6 are spot on. Harsh reality, but she CHOSE to do that and I never feel sorry for people's own decisions, no matter how stupid.

 

[ricky409]

Why did she ruin her life? Why did you make this thread?
It isn't too far-fetched to believe that her motivation behind getting pregnant or falling for such "low life" scum isn't that far removed for why you made this thread in the first place - insecurity.
No one needs to be validated by the actions of another; neither should one use the actions of another to make themselves feel better. There's nothing good that can come from either one. In your case, she saw that you were nothing but a little boy and kept it moving. And well she was right.
Worry about yourself first. There's some baggage there you have to throw out OP. Before you ruin your life.

hold on...

So op is a little boy because he was honest with her?

He's a little boy cuz he didn't want to have a kid?

**** outta here with that bull ****. You sound like a lame that settled and gets mad when you see others with potential...

Burger *** buster... Smh.

I try too stay positive but that post irked me.

 

[brandonb2005]

It’s a simple answer to your question...

I don't believe the thought was too ruin her life...Dude was obviously laying the type of wood to her that you or no other guy "on her level" could lay (to her knowledge and to your credit)

She was getting piped by the "looser", and ended up pregnant. Happens all the time in society, I'm pretty sure her intent wasn't to get pregnant.

Another thing, you do sound salty that you lost a high-end side chick to a lame...

All in all its her situation to deal with and not yours, you got a chick...that’s where your focus should be. She is going to love and cherish that child no matter the circumstance so I wouldn't say her life is ruined. A life lesson of why you shouldn't deal with lames(dudes that won’t take care of their seed) of course, but her life is not ruined by any means(college degree, car, and good job).

You have to understand you are going to see good females dating/smashing lames all the time. Females are emotional creatures...give them some good D and minimal conversation/time and that’s all they will see for the most part. You can be the lamest dude in the city, but if your Pipe game on point, I guarantee you going to have at least 5-10 chicks to hit up a night that’s ready and willingly.

When I see females from my past in public, or on social networks and they have kids by lames or our with a lame that I am doing better than. I just look at it as glad it wasn't me!


PICS???? (to determine who's loss it really was)

 

[Peep Game]

You guys are pretty dense. She ruined her life in a sense she's made things really hard for herself and she's not going live the life we all know she wanted for herself.
1. She has a good job for a single young person but that's before the baby. Babies cost bread.
2. She is still single, no man for comfort through this pregnancy
3. She has to deal with ol' boy for the rest of her life. That's drama and stress
4. She has to raise a child without a father. That's added stress and money
5. Her dating pool just shrunk cuz some dudes don't wanna deal with her kid and baby daddy
6. She had ideas of being an entrepreneur and that's probably never gonna happen.
It's not like she's bringing a puppy home. Things done changed.

This probably should have been your opening thread post.

 

[ricky409]

Again I ask, why do you care if you're NOT the father and you're NOT her guy tho

when you see potential stop itself before it gets off the ground, that doesn't bother you?

 

[truthgetsbusy]

Again I ask, why do you care if you're NOT the father and you're NOT her guy tho

Not sure what you mean by "care". It's not having any effect on my life actually. I just wanted to talk about the issue on a forum. You trying to hard my dude. She is a distant female friend that potential to do better and she made some bad decisions that's why I "care". Excuse me for expecting people I know to do better. I didn't meet her on MySpace our circles interact. Does that answer your question iceberg slim?

 

[gllahone84]

 

[dunknforce]

Who are you to say she ruined her life?

right. Having a kid means ruining your life? If so, i cant wait to ruin mine. haha The guy is a lame, who cares... it's her choice, stop reasoning it out and wasting your time on the situation.

 

[truthgetsbusy]

right. Having a kid means ruining your life? If so, i cant wait to ruin mine. haha The guy is a lame, who cares... it's her choice, stop reasoning it out and wasting your time on the situation.

Reread the facts. Never said a kid equals ruining your life. But choosing to be a single mom with a loser who already has 2 kids is pretty dumb if you don't see anything wrong with that then ill pray for you.

 

[cj863]

You lame as hell boy

 

[big meech]

She just sounds like the typical ******* with a good job.

 

[dankenstien88]

I dont understand what her being black has to do with the situation... at all.

 

[Gill Baka Esq. LLC.]

forget her, get a white girl. Ultimate revenge.

 

[jesusshuttlesworth34]

forget her, get a white girl. Ultimate revenge.

Revenge on who???

 

[handullz]

forget her, get a white girl. Ultimate revenge.

THIS...

She just sounds like the typical ******* with a good job.

AND THIS...

 

[truthgetsbusy]

Revenge on who???

Exactly Lol dudes don't even read. Honest I shouldn't have brought up race but it is a factor. On one hand we as black men get mad at black women for having unreal expectations of a man. We say they want dudes that are ballin' financially and/or in social status. When in reality a lot of good dudes aren't ballin'. We claim they don't date realistically and need to lower their standards from that athlete or doctor or perfect Christian. But then a lot of times when these successful black women start to lower their unreal standards they go too low. Like in this case. That's why you see so many single black mothers. A lot of times they choose the wrong dude to mate with. That's not the man's fault. He got the yambs and will continue to be a loser. She lost for not seeing that was gonna happen.

Do other races of women do this? Yes and no. A lot of chicks with bread will look down on regular dudes on some snobby type stuff and they miss out on good dudes. But they usually don't date "down" especially after a certain age. It happens but not as much as in the black community due to a myriad of factors. Black women have a hard time finding a good dude that's right for them which is sad. Too many children getting brought into this world without a stable home.

Sorry for being lame......

 

[jesusshuttlesworth34]

Exactly Lol dudes don't even read. Honest I shouldn't have brought up race but it is a factor. On one hand we as black men get mad at black women for having unreal expectations of a man. We say they want dudes that are ballin' financially and/or in social status. When in reality a lot of good dudes aren't ballin'. We claim they don't date realistically and need to lower their standards from that athlete or doctor or perfect Christian. But then a lot of times when these successful black women start to lower their unreal standards they go too low. Like in this case. That's why you see so many single black mothers. A lot of times they choose the wrong dude to mate with. That's not the man's fault. He got the yambs and will continue to be a loser. She lost for not seeing that was gonna happen.
Do other races of women do this? Yes and no. A lot of chicks with bread will look down on regular dudes on some snobby type stuff and they miss out on good dudes. But they usually don't date "down" especially after a certain age. It happens but not as much as in the black community due to a myriad of factors. Black women have a hard time finding a good dude that's right for them which is sad. Too many children getting brought into this world without a stable home.
Sorry for being lame......

Everything you said is spot on....I don't think a lot of members on the board comprehended the meaning of this thread. A lot of people projected their feelings/insecure notions into the context of this and turned it into something it wasn't.


But definitely....don't ever mess with someone on that level who doesn't have just as much to lose as you.

 

[smangalang]

the hate in hurr is skrong. To the OP ol' girl is a bird. Keep on keepin on. Some people "need" to make bad decisions. She gon' learn. OH! SHE GON' LEARN! To the detractors in the thread. why so hateful? Homey said nothing crazy about her and all of a sudden he's salty? And a lot of you dudes in here are showing out but in that "post your most played songs thread" in the music forum y'all revealed the ***** in ya blood. Fall back waaaaaaaaay back. OP stay classy my friend.

 

[the natural mystic]

You guys are pretty dense. She ruined her life in a sense she's made things really hard for herself and she's not going live the life we all know she wanted for herself.
1. She has a good job for a single young person but that's before the baby. Babies cost bread.
2. She is still single, no man for comfort through this pregnancy
3. She has to deal with ol' boy for the rest of her life. That's drama and stress
4. She has to raise a child without a father. That's added stress and money
5. Her dating pool just shrunk cuz some dudes don't wanna deal with her kid and baby daddy
6. She had ideas of being an entrepreneur and that's probably never gonna happen.
It's not like she's bringing a puppy home. Things done changed.

Bro, despite all of this, her life is not ruined. Of course things changed. She can still be a successful woman. I am not the one who is being dense here. There are plenty of strong women who have raised a child by themselves and still attained a great amount of success in life. Stress is a part of life(self induced or not), as long as she is able to adapt to the situation she put herself in then she will be fine. The baby might even motivate her to work harder and move into a higher position at work. You never know. You shouldn't be so quick to label her as a ruined life is all I am saying. It's not in your place to say that or anybody's.

 

[newmoanyuh]

Bro, despite all of this, her life is not ruined. Of course things changed. She can still be a successful woman. I am not the one who is being dense here. There are plenty of strong women who have raised a child by themselves and still attained a great amount of success in life. Stress is a part of life(self induced or not), as long as she is able to adapt to the situation she put herself in then she will be fine. The baby might even motivate her to work harder and move into a higher position at work. You never know. You shouldn't be so quick to label her as a ruined life is all I am saying. It's not in your place to say that or anybody's.

This. It's not the end of the world. And are y'all taking into account OP doesn't really know the girl? All of this is based on one date and hearsay. Ole girl could have aborted, gave up for adoption or something by now. I still don't get how we can judge whether or not someone has ruined their lives. Some people are happy with lives that You and I say might be horrible. And if anyone was to tell me, "oh, you ruined your life," it damb sure better be a close friend or family who actually knows me.

 

[handullz]

Exactly Lol dudes don't even read. Honest I shouldn't have brought up race but it is a factor. On one hand we as black men get mad at black women for having unreal expectations of a man. We say they want dudes that are ballin' financially and/or in social status. When in reality a lot of good dudes aren't ballin'. We claim they don't date realistically and need to lower their standards from that athlete or doctor or perfect Christian. But then a lot of times when these successful black women start to lower their unreal standards they go too low. Like in this case. That's why you see so many single black mothers. A lot of times they choose the wrong dude to mate with. That's not the man's fault. He got the yambs and will continue to be a loser. She lost for not seeing that was gonna happen.
Do other races of women do this? Yes and no. A lot of chicks with bread will look down on regular dudes on some snobby type stuff and they miss out on good dudes. But they usually don't date "down" especially after a certain age. It happens but not as much as in the black community due to a myriad of factors. Black women have a hard time finding a good dude that's right for them which is sad. Too many children getting brought into this world without a stable home.
Sorry for being lame......

heck no, brah... bring the race into it.. too many times, we side step race to protect black people... sometimes, we need to be criticial of the GENERAL IDEOLOGY of our people... i know its not right to paint a broad brush, but keep it real...

black women DATE DOWN > black woman make babies with ill suited fathers > raise said kids without fathers > put stupid ideology in kids head > kids grown up, men think stupidly to impress these girls, girls turn into women > black women DATE DOWN, and so on and so forth....

i was choppin it w/ this woman... she was like 30... she says "yeah... i'm dealing with this guy"... i'm like, where he stay...

her: "with his middle child's baby mama"...