would you let your significant other go to the movies alone with the opposite sex

[mgrand15]

Ok so question, at what point do you be like, "Nah that ain't flyin."

If your girl wanted to see an ex (3 years removed) and go to dinner with him, would that be fine?

Yeah, that would be fine for me. Mature people can catch up with old friends especially if they've moved on. 3 years is a long time. If she hasn't moved on, there's gonna be trouble either way.

The line for me would probably be if she became too friendly with that ex. Texting a lot, trying to hang out without me, acting strange, etc. Stuff like that. If it gets to the point where I am worried about this ex, I'd be like nah, you can have him. I cut people off quick though. Maybe it's a weakness.

But the initial dinner? I don't see a problem with it. I'm not out here to compete with other guys. Or to hide her from other guys. If she wants to choose her ex, I'll open the door for her on the way out. I'm just 100% done with the games and the rules

 

[heliumclinton]

Y'all just want someone to do everything you say, get a pet.

 

[flipz5]

She's not allowed to look at other dudes or mention their names, let alone sit through a cinematic emotional rollercoaster w/another dude. 

She's like "Its my little brother and we watched Despicable Me"

I'ON CARE.

 

[joepapamama23]

because I'm telling you that if I have an interest in being friends with someone's girl that it's deeper than me wanting to be her friend?



So, me being honest with you and myself is not being grown up? Or is it because I don't pretend to want girls as friends outside of a relationship that I'm not grown up?

I've made it clear to my gf and any other woman that I've had an interest in that I don't befriend women unless I'm attracted to them and want something

Dudes in here really defending their girls going on dates with another man.

I refuse to believe that's anything besides bs internet persona/devil's advocate talk going on.

I think this is why some people don't find it okay cause they say some guys want more than just to be friends.

You yourself said the guy is a sucker if they let you befriend the girl

Do you persue if someone's girl doesn't want anything besides being friends or do you just move on?

 

[frankmatthews]

Its funny cause I was just recently talking to my ex. There are 2 childhood friends that she used to hang out with when we were together, I told her how I felt about it then but she convinced me I was trippin. Anyway, today shes upset that neither of them talk to her anymore because after we broke up she moved on to someone else and it wasnt either of them. She couldnt fathom a guy sustaining a friendship for years and years for the purpose of wanting something more. I knew/know how it works though.

These "friends" are hoping if not actively plotting in 99.9 % of these situation. If she knows that, its disrespectful regardless if they never even touch. If she doesn't know shes probably not too bright. But they know.

 

[grimeyy]

Absolutely NOT

Just the thought of this annoys me

 

[Sir San Diego]

Do you persue if someone's girl doesn't want anything besides being friends or do you just move on?

I've never pursued a woman that doesn't want something with me. Who has time for that ****?

What would I look like bugging a woman to spend some time when there are women everywhere? I never understood that mentality of a man getting stuck on one woman that isn't even his. A relationship is different, but these dudes out here waiting in line to be next are corny to me.

My rule has always been eye contact. If she's staring at me with that look, then I know what she's thinking. I've never just walked up to a random female that wasn't at the very least looking at me. I let them choose. That said, I've never been in the friend position with a woman. Even the ones that said they wanted friendship let me hit after kicking it a couple to a few times.

I don't stall. I get to the point and let them know (in the past) what time it is very early on.

 

[joepapamama23]

I've never pursued a woman that doesn't want something with me. Who has time for that ****?

What would I look like bugging a woman to spend some time when there are women everywhere? I never understood that mentality of a man getting stuck on one woman that isn't even his. A relationship is different, but these dudes out here waiting in line to be next are corny to me.

My rule has always been eye contact. If she's staring at me with that look, then I know what she's thinking. I've never just walked up to a random female that wasn't at the very least looking at me. I let them choose. That said, I've never been in the friend position with a woman. Even the ones that said they wanted friendship let me hit after kicking it a couple to a few times.

I don't stall. I get to the point and let them know (in the past) what time it is very early on.

Yeah I figured you were far from that type of person I was confused cause you said if a guy let's you befriend his girl he's a sucker cause you know what you want but then said its ridiculous that people in here don't let girls hang out with another guy

 

[IATT]

If he's gay, sure go ahead.. If they're related, by all means





But people will find a way to do whatever they want.. But if she decides that is what she wants to do, then she won't be 'significant' anymore.. Same goes for other BS

 

[boris]

 

A date has romantic implications though. Seeing a movie does not. If you see a movie with your male friend, is it a date? If you see a movie with a family member, is it a date? It's only a date if it's called a DATE. There's a big difference. Do you not see it?

Boundaries need to be set.

A woman/man IN a relationship has no place going on a movie date (call it whatever you want) with another man/woman on a 1-on-1 affair.

But we are going in circles so we can just stop now.

Would you consider a one time adventure to the mall with another man violating these boundaries? 

 

[Kaleo15]

God yall are killing me with the, "If she wants to cheat she will cheat" comeback.

Of course if she wants to she will.

But that doesn't mean I should make the opportunity EASIER.

that noncholant attitude is gonna bite a bunch of cats in the *** man.. Smh...

Take from a guy that deals with women on the regular .. And any guy will tell you...

Women appreciate boundaries set by a man and a good checking...

SRS...

I'm gonna have to agree with yall.

One thing my girl says she loves about me even though it irks her is that I check her when I need to.

 

[wayniac211]

OP, you keeping track on that spreadsheet??

 

[superblytrife]

Yes, because whether it's Brad Pitt or the guy down the street if she wants to cheat she's gonna cheat regardless. And whether I allow her to hang out with other men or I don't she'll find a way to get in their bed if that's what she's trying to do.

God yall are killing me with the, "If she wants to cheat she will cheat" comeback.

Of course if she wants to she will.

But that doesn't mean I should make the opportunity EASIER.

Someone gets it. It's all about scenarios, and some of them setting your relationship up for potential disaster.

To all you dudes talmbout "she'll cheat if she wants to cheat", how old are you? Serious question. I have to believe most of you gotta be young cats.

 

[Kaleo15]

Yes, because whether it's Brad Pitt or the guy down the street if she wants to cheat she's gonna cheat regardless. And whether I allow her to hang out with other men or I don't she'll find a way to get in their bed if that's what she's trying to do.

God yall are killing me with the, "If she wants to cheat she will cheat" comeback.

Of course if she wants to she will.

But that doesn't mean I should make the opportunity EASIER.

Someone gets it. It's all about scenarios, and some of them setting your relationship up for potential disaster.

To all you dudes talmbout "she'll cheat if she wants to cheat", how old are you? Serious question. I have to believe most of you gotta be young cats.

Preach!

Same applies to raising a child. "Oh... my child will commit a crime if he wants to commit a crime"

So? Doesn't mean I still won't try to prevent him from so... doesn't mean I can't teach him right from wrong.

 

[iYen]

wrong thread

 

[andretti]

Ok, who in here is NS?

Raises hand

 

[hennessy]

Its funny cause I was just recently talking to my ex. There are 2 childhood friends that she used to hang out with when we were together, I told her how I felt about it then but she convinced me I was trippin. Anyway, today shes upset that neither of them talk to her anymore because after we broke up she moved on to someone else and it wasnt either of them. She couldnt fathom a guy sustaining a friendship for years and years for the purpose of wanting something more. I knew/know how it works though.

These "friends" are hoping if not actively plotting in 99.9 % of these situation. If she knows that, its disrespectful regardless if they never even touch. If she doesn't know shes probably not too bright. But they know.

And if dudes don't realize this then they must date ugly, undesirable woman who aren't getting checked for. Dudes are always hawking for my chick. Her friends, dudes acting all cordial when they meet me but I know they resent me for dating her when she's in college and I'm not, and they take subtle shots at me when I leave her to hang with her group of friends. And of course all her girlfriends think I'm a great guy.

 

[youngsimba12]

Nobody is particularly "wrong" in the assessment of the topic. There are some relationships that don't mind this type of thing and others where it's flat out not happening. The main thing is to communicate with your SO and you two establish and set these boundaries together. If something makes one or the other uncomfortable then don't do it. Why put yourself in a situation to open up that can of trouble?

What ppl need to realize is there is no black and white answer to this because everyone is different in their viewing of life and it's situations. Relationships (including friendships, work, etc) all have dynamics that change from person to person. It's just like you can't joke or talk about certain things with certain ppl because they feel some type of way about the subject. That being said OP I wouldn't have went (if you do indeed want your ex back or are working on things). It's clear she had a problem with you going and doing so doesn't leave a good impression on y'all's getting back together. I understand that's your friend for a long time but with that said if your friendship is as strong as you say then she should understand. Like someone earlier said if you are even having the debate then it's probably not a good idea IMO.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Its funny cause I was just recently talking to my ex. There are 2 childhood friends that she used to hang out with when we were together, I told her how I felt about it then but she convinced me I was trippin. Anyway, today shes upset that neither of them talk to her anymore because after we broke up she moved on to someone else and it wasnt either of them. She couldnt fathom a guy sustaining a friendship for years and years for the purpose of wanting something more. I knew/know how it works though.

These "friends" are hoping if not actively plotting in 99.9 % of these situation. If she knows that, its disrespectful regardless if they never even touch. If she doesn't know shes probably not too bright. But they know.

It bothers me how dumb girls attempt to appear when it comes to the intentions of other dudes. I never know if they are truly clueless or if they are playing dub to save face. It is annoying though.

 

[fontaine]

Dudes in here really defending their girls going on dates with another man.

I refuse to believe that's anything besides bs internet persona/devil's advocate talk going on.

goagainstthegrainjusttoberdifferent. Smh.

So the line is crossed after the initial meet up...

Not even gonna go extremes with this one.

Dinner and a movie... AT HIS HOUSE.. ?

 

[panaricanretro]

This is the kinda stuff you gotta clear up in the beginning before you wife this chick up. Problem is we do too much acting when we first seeing someone. She goes on about how most of her friends are guys, that she doesn't really get along with girls cause they're all drama, etc. (that's a red flag btw. Usually means that she's the dramatic one) and she talks about this guy and that guy that she used to date or have a serious relationship with that she's still friend with. We might act like we're cook with all this cause we're feeling shorty so we want to come off as this super confident, non-possessive guy. Then y'all are dating and she's like "Oh I can't, I'm meeting so and so for dinner, etc".

If that kind of thing bothers you, don't get involved with a chick like that. There's plenty of girls out there who don't do anything like that. Second hardest thing when you start dating is being honest with her about who you truly are. First hardest thing is being honest with yourself.

 

[heliumclinton]

If we let our wife go somewhere with another male, our chick is either ugly or we young.

Comparing your woman cheating to your child committing a crime

-writes all this down

 

[Peep Game]

Its funny cause I was just recently talking to my ex. There are 2 childhood friends that she used to hang out with when we were together, I told her how I felt about it then but she convinced me I was trippin. Anyway, today shes upset that neither of them talk to her anymore because after we broke up she moved on to someone else and it wasnt either of them. She couldnt fathom a guy sustaining a friendship for years and years for the purpose of wanting something more. I knew/know how it works though.

These "friends" are hoping if not actively plotting in 99.9 % of these situation. If she knows that, its disrespectful regardless if they never even touch. If she doesn't know shes probably not too bright. But they know.

It bothers me how dumb girls attempt to appear when it comes to the intentions of other dudes. I never know if they are truly clueless or if they are playing dumb to save face. It is annoying though.

Very annoying

 

[Mark Antony]

Dudes talking bout being cool with their chick doing this are missing how wildly illogical women are. Don't put her in a position where she has to make a decision, it may not come out like either you or the friend thinks. You never know because she doesn't even know till that moment. Women don't really understand themselves on an intrinsic level.

 

[Mark Antony]

if my bf was watching a movie with his female best friend of 20 years, i don't mind. i trust them both. she's the only female i trust on his end.

BUT if it was one of his coworkers or something...... nah, that would be a problem. especially since they check him out. 

See she sounds cool here but even this isn't guaranteed. Someday she'll be watching a movie, hearing a song, Keyshia Cole gon' tell her some ****, her hatin *** single homegirl wil put the bug in her ear etc... But she will start trippin and asking questions. And possibly rationalize hanging out with that cute guy that has a crush on her, only as "friends" though.