the nomad
Banned
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- Joined
- Jul 21, 2012
So I watched Best Holiday with my wife ...she skimmed through it for important parts too seem cool on social networks.
We're at home and this whole week I gave it my all to make her happy, spent time with her and tried to watch movies with her and talk about what ever was on her mind....she went to sleep.
So tonight I got HAM and swagged out...she recorded it....called my friends and family, some of them were here tonight and it's was all good... I was dancing and rapping to 90's and 2000's hip-hop, then creeped in to dope boy music from the present they started getting get scared...I know all these songs bar for bar.
People were hype like "Nomad" back... drugs, sex and violence!
Then I pointed out, for the last year, through therapy and all I became a better person I was proud of being..and I'm boring, ugly and weak....someone everyone makes fun of.....BUT if I "thug it out", everyone loves me.
It hurt so bad NT...if you're not black I don't think you can understand...I'm 30 years old, and tonight it was like I was elected president. They celebrate my stupidity and thugness....but any other day of the week they lame out, fall asleep and make excuses to not being around me when I constantly talk about black empowerment.
NT this might be my last post, I've been drinking and I'm really emotion, but tonight it's hurts to be black....I've come so far in life and it's mean nothing to anyone....I feel so alone, I serious hate life and just want to die or go out the most ignorant ****** ever....those are my only true options...
NT I'm so in pain and the truth is if I told anyone what I've typed tonight they'd call me "gay".... I don't want to say it but I'm mad at GOD if he exist, I'm mad at my family, I'm mad at the world and have no one to turn to.
NT, it's sad that a forum is the only place I have to share these thoughts...and even still I'm gonna get flamed for even making this thread.
....Being black seriously hurts NT.
We're at home and this whole week I gave it my all to make her happy, spent time with her and tried to watch movies with her and talk about what ever was on her mind....she went to sleep.
So tonight I got HAM and swagged out...she recorded it....called my friends and family, some of them were here tonight and it's was all good... I was dancing and rapping to 90's and 2000's hip-hop, then creeped in to dope boy music from the present they started getting get scared...I know all these songs bar for bar.
People were hype like "Nomad" back... drugs, sex and violence!
Then I pointed out, for the last year, through therapy and all I became a better person I was proud of being..and I'm boring, ugly and weak....someone everyone makes fun of.....BUT if I "thug it out", everyone loves me.
It hurt so bad NT...if you're not black I don't think you can understand...I'm 30 years old, and tonight it was like I was elected president. They celebrate my stupidity and thugness....but any other day of the week they lame out, fall asleep and make excuses to not being around me when I constantly talk about black empowerment.
NT this might be my last post, I've been drinking and I'm really emotion, but tonight it's hurts to be black....I've come so far in life and it's mean nothing to anyone....I feel so alone, I serious hate life and just want to die or go out the most ignorant ****** ever....those are my only true options...
NT I'm so in pain and the truth is if I told anyone what I've typed tonight they'd call me "gay".... I don't want to say it but I'm mad at GOD if he exist, I'm mad at my family, I'm mad at the world and have no one to turn to.
NT, it's sad that a forum is the only place I have to share these thoughts...and even still I'm gonna get flamed for even making this thread.
....Being black seriously hurts NT.
