talking to an ex and...

For once not a yambs problem thread. 
pimp.gif
 
When dudes want to prove something to their ex's they are still harboring feelings and were/are hurt.

Like op said ... You'll know you are over them when you do stuff for you and not for "this will show her."

I'm a reserve person so I never done **** to get back at anyone ... I just keep it moving ...
 
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She tryna prove something to OP and he curved it, bravo old chap. She probably thought you were gon get bent out of shape about the way she let's the wind carry her box to different suitors, but you didn't. Very she feel's pretty empty inside now....
 
OP dishing a ton of truth in his post, but I gotta ask... why call/pick up her call in the first place? That small part of you for that hour was willing to hear her out, but at what cost?
 
I was hurt for a while from my last ex because I caught her lying to me and she's a coward and just chose not to speak to me for a couples months after we broke up, never giving me closure.Then she'd email me here and there just to see what I was up to and was being friendly until I told her she had to explain herself and owed me an apology if she wanted to be friends like this and talk still. Haven't heard from her since then, she'll never be able to admit her wrongdoings, but, I'm ok with that.

Last time I heard anything from my ex was when my sister posted a pic of me, her, and my new gf together on her instagram a week ago. My sister claims that my ex liked the pic and immediately unliked it.

No need to sweat ex's when you're a guy. Plenty of younger, smarter, more beautiful girls to choose from. These women are the ones that should be worried and start buggin when they you see flourishing in a new relationship.

*tick tick tick*

Dat biological clock goes...
 
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I understand the no strings attached ex..but What if it's the babby moms tho? Do I still go about it in the same manor? I think about my seed man...smh
 
Hennessy said:
I was hurt for a while from my last ex because I caught her lying to me and she's a coward and just chose not to speak to me for a couples months after we broke up, never giving me closure.Then she'd email me here and there just to see what I was up to and was being friendly until I told her she had to explain herself and owed me an apology if she wanted to be friends like this and talk still. Haven't heard from her since then, she'll never be able to admit her wrongdoings, but, I'm ok with that.

Last time I heard anything from my ex was when my sister posted a pic of me, her, and my new gf together on her instagram a week ago. My sister claims that my ex liked the pic and immediately unliked it.

No need to sweat ex's when you're a guy. Plenty of younger, smarter, more beautiful girls to choose from. These women are the ones that should be worried and start buggin when they you see flourishing in a new relationship.

*tick tick tick*

Dat biological clock goes...
Click to expand...

once you break up with a female I personally think you shouldn't talk to them again or even view their their profile on social media you gotta forget em. It wont be the same becoming friends with them. But ya if your a guy you shouldn't have to worry bout it.
 
ztoxins said:
once you break up with a female I personally think you shouldn't talk to them again or even view their their profile on social media you gotta forget em. It wont be the same becoming friends with them. But ya if your a guy you shouldn't have to worry bout it.
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Yeah I don't have any social media and wouldn't look at hers but I was kinda pissed my sister told me about that and feel like that was my ex's way of being like, "I'm still here and I see you." :smh:
 
Good advice.

Being someone that never catches feelings for the opposite sex, it is a terribly challenging episode to recover from the one that was finally able to pierce the emotional barricades of your existence.

I'm going through it. My job is hectic, and I was assigned to an international project for the past six months, and shorty couldn't take it anymore. I'm over the emotional turmoil surrounded with losing her, though I have random episodes, but I'm not sure I'll ever get over her. She left an indelible impression that can't be erased with time.

A good woman is such a rarity in this day and age, and when you've experienced one, merely shacking up with bust downs does nothing to alleviate the pain of her loss. Sonny said a man has three great woman, and I've just ran through my second, who far eclipsed anything I could have ever fathomed. Hoping things will work out with Ms. Anonymous - the third.

You gotta embrace the pain of losing shorty. In the end, you'll be a stronger man because of it, and you'll make sure that the next great doesn't get away.

You can't let shorty use you as a crutch, though. A woman that once loved you is capable of telling you they don't love you but they aren't capable of completely losing you. They want to linger and be "friends." Friendship with a woman you once loved is a favor to her, and after a breakup, you don't owe her anything. She can longer reside on the pedestal in which you once placed her. It's best to just let shorty go, and move forward.
 
Here's my ex redemption story; some NTers have probably heard me talk about this here or there...

my last gf was the 1st girl to ever really leave a mark on me...

our relationship was great but she started to become depressed and blame people for all her downfalls like not finishing college, not having a close relationship with her parents; etc. so she went to see someone and was diagnosed with Borderline personality and the relationship just became toxic because of her as she became really manipulative. We broke up but she would still come in and out of my life and I was stupid enough to take her on vacation with my family when I thought things were coming back to the way they were which turned out to be a disaster vacation. Anyway I would hear from her when she wanted to see me and all the sudden contact just ceased; I would never contact her it was always her coming to me.

Forward 3 months (June 2012) and I am at a bar and a mutual friend told me she got knocked up (which explains why I didn't hear from her); I literally walked out of the bar and threw up. It hit me like someone just dropped a house on me but it is what started the healing process and I started to get over her because I knew that was the end right there.

Forward to V Day this year and I am out with my gf who is incredible and pretty much anything you want in a woman; the ex happens to be at the spot I am at with her friends. She comes up to me and you can tell she is super jealous because I know she thinks I am the one that got away at this point. I basically shoot small talk and she asks about the cat which I kept once we broke up and what not then I introduced her to my gf and she went back to her seat. I get up to use the rest room and she follows me and I come out and she puts her arms around me trying to tell me how sorry she is and she didn't want things to go down like that; like I am just gonna end it with my gf and go back to her. Part of me wanted to tell the baby daddy his girl is trying to work something with me behind his back but I was the bigger man and let it go knowing she was suffering her own regret now after 2 years of hell I went through after the break up.

Long story short this girl put me through hell and knowing in the end I was the one who came out on top was some of the best satisfaction I have ever felt. :smokin
 
Ishnaga said:
I understand the no strings attached ex..but What if it's the baby moms tho? Do I still go about it in the same manor? I think about my seed man...smh
Click to expand...

Yep.

In the same damn manner my dude.

Don't EVER let her use the kids to try to lure you back in. Exes will try all kinds of stuff involving the kids to keep you on a leash. I've seen it with my own eyes. My ex even planned a trip to Disneyland and invited me once. :smh: Trying to make it seem like that was for the kids. Come on... :rolleyes you mean you want to spend a whole day together and possibly the night eating dinner together and whatever... for the kids? Please.

If it's not you and your kids alone, let her cook solo. You don't have to be friends with your ex to be a father to your kids. I pay my child support and am always there for my kids. I show up on time for them when it's my days and go above and beyond, but I don't **** with my ex on any level and she's salty, but that's not my problem. I don't even acknowledge the fact that she's stabbed out my tires twice while parked at my new gf's house and has gone to my new girlfriend's ex-man's job to try to spark some kind of beef. Dude told her to kick rocks.

These women are something else when you take away what they want. Just keep all conversations through texts and screen capture any time that she is out of line. And if it's not about your kids, there's nothing to talk about.
 
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Ishnaga said:
I understand the no strings attached ex..but What if it's the babby moms tho? Do I still go about it in the same manor? I think about my seed man...smh
Click to expand...
what ever the circumstance may be between you two, the key is knowing the relationship is bigger than both of you. that bond of knowing shes the mother your firstborn (?) holds a lot of value. maintaining communciation and acknowledging any wrongdoings in the past is key to moving forward in any relationship. im not saying youre doing this for the sake of the child, but in reality both of you got to want to continue to grow for each other too. 
 
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I remember my ex and I broke up and a couple weeks later she calls me giving me small talk and then saying how hella guys tryna get at her since shes single. I hit her with that ' oh that's nice. ' She kept bringing up that crap trying to get me jealous. I still kept giving her those "good for you" answers. I can tell how she was getting annoyed that I didn't care anymore. Next thing you know she just hangs up. 

smokin.gif
 
DJosey said:
Was this the same girl you climbed over the balcony for Ricky?
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yes.





macbk said:
OP dishing a ton of truth in his post, but I gotta ask... why call/pick up her call in the first place? That small part of you for that hour was willing to hear her out, but at what cost?
Click to expand...
she been trying to contact me for awhile...

We'd chop it up every now and again.. Very rarely... But there was always a little thump in my chest when she called.

I think what really let me free was when she got my name that's tattooed on her covered up...

When I seen that, it just felt like a burden was lifted off me. I always felt obligated to at least give her a chance... And it was all because my name was on her...

But.

I was still avoiding a lot of her calls... We'd talk very sparingly... But I would never call...

Till finally one day... She called... And I answered... I thought to myself "why are you running? You can't talk to her without a flood of emotions coming back? If that's the case, then she really has a hold on you"...

We talked for about an hour

I just kept the conversation going... She began to tell me about this guy that got her a condo in Miami to stay in... And brought up some "On the Run Tour" tickets and how they cost $400....

Just waiting for me to peer more into who bought the tickets, and who got the condo...

And I'm just side stepping it left and right...

She keeps asking me stuff about women and and what's going on my life... And I told her straight up... That I had a couple friends but nothing major... Just living solo and pushing towards my goals...

She also tells me how she wants a threesome and I'm like "be safe mayne...". :lol:

She is fricking fine as hell... But I swear I get no boners when it comes to thinking about her... I'm just not physically attracted TK her anymore.

And when I hung up the phone... I just sat back and typed up the OP...

Because I genuinely felt good...

Don't get me wrong... Its hurt before. I've cried many nights over this woman...

But now.. It was nothing there... I wasn't jealous or happy that she was on the D and trying to do the most...

It was actually kinda funny...

I won't be her friend on Facebook because she can start stuff...

But other than that.. If she wants to talk, and I'm free... I'll listen... She's still a human being

I'll never call her for anything... And if I never spoke to her again... I would seriously be indifferent to it...
 
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Understand that getting yambs really does help...

And it took a couple years for me to really REALLY get over it...

But eventually.. I was thinking "man.. I can get women. I'm cool and encouraging and a winner. I can't stress over a high school sweetheart. People change"

To my famb... Its going to be tough. You have to get some super ficial yambs... You gotta move around... You gotta do all that...

But the feeling once you arrive is :pimp:..

And will allow you to let another chick in your life that might be better for you...
 
My dude Ricky. :pimp: Repped

I'm worried I'm about to regress, man. The one that did a number on me has been out of my life for what seems like a long time but I suppose it's been about a year. A mutual friend of ours passed away earlier this month. I didn't reach out because she was legitimately not on my mind. I've been doing my own thing and can honestly say I'm in the best place I've been since we initially split a few years back. It took a lot out of me to move forward and get over her, but I did it. Focused on my goals, hit the gym, went hard at work, met yambs... I moved on. :pimp:

Then she hits me up two days after homie passed away on some "if this were the last time we'd ever spoken just know I love you blah blah blah" steeze. I texted her back saying I'd always care also, but felt it better that we didn't speak again since we were really only talking because homie died. If that didn't happen, we'd still be put of each other's lives. She flipped it on the "I thought we'd somehow find our way back to one another" steeze and that's when I got to thinking. I know she's in the past. I know I've been doing well up until this point. I know why it ended and I know we've both went off and did our own things since then. I just can't let myself get back to being hung up on her. I refuse.
 
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