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Damn bro, good luck. Hope you can get past it.
I am a heroin addict. Ask me anything.
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keel252
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Go to work, see drug dealer, get high, repeat. Is that your schedule everyday? Do you do/think about anything else? Do you ever think you'll be on intervention or is your family not that crafty?
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May 27th 2013 my only brother was 26, came home from a church program and in 3 days in jersey it was nough too overpower 18 months of being a good clean person... Od'd. I'm not gettin into the story I posted one when it happened. But it is a DISEASE because it ***** with your brain. After 18 months of Christianity, working a 9-5 paying back restitutions, and the total change when I saw him, he was glowin... He didn't smoke cigs, didn't curse, told me I talk black, and this is the same mfer that I learned everything from. Long story short he decided to use again. And it took his life....I'm jus tryna stay sober for him but its hard...to be honest I blaze every day. I pop zans...I jus Stay out of camden... I stay away from opiates....been there done that. I STILL go to meetings to be reminded that I am a addict. And I can be clean if I want, there IS a way out. Is called. AA/NA and it runs in my family....my father has 8 years clean and sober, his thing was drinking n coke, so me n my bro gravitated towards downers...ether way...I've definitely faced some consequences because of my useage....
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Belgium
formerly colombia
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Bruh Xanax is worse than opiates...
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Not really. Xanax is not worse than slammin dope. Trust me. If u do zans everyday the withdrawl may kill u because u can have seizures. n u cant from D withdrawl...dont mean that its a Worse drug. But I don't them on a daily basis I smoke weed on a daily basis..I don't care if ur slammin dope or doin klonopins or smokin bud , or doing perc 5s recreationally. It's all the same ****, and as duke said before , drug addiction leads to jails, institutions, and death... But yes I admit since my brother died over 2. Months ago. I threw my sobriety down the toilet.....
OP have u ever tried the suboxone route? There a ***** too get off too. And u don't really get high off them.. But it's not like u get high to get high anymore let's be honest u get high to feel "normal". Edit:: I know it ain't the same amazing feeling u get from slammin d, I used to sniff it but kicked d my 2nd rehab...but I know people like u who just saw sub doctors (quacks btw) any they take them as prescribed, and then they don't have to waste 90% of there income on dope... I think it's the lesser of 2 evils.
OP have u ever tried the suboxone route? There a ***** too get off too. And u don't really get high off them.. But it's not like u get high to get high anymore let's be honest u get high to feel "normal". Edit:: I know it ain't the same amazing feeling u get from slammin d, I used to sniff it but kicked d my 2nd rehab...but I know people like u who just saw sub doctors (quacks btw) any they take them as prescribed, and then they don't have to waste 90% of there income on dope... I think it's the lesser of 2 evils.
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gllahone84
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Get well OP.
This thread is sad, I guess it sucks to hear/see someone my age range in this situation. I've dealt with it before with family and friends so I could imagine how your parents and close friends feel.
What's the background on you and your biological parents? Were you just put up for adoption as a baby?
I'll say a prayer for you man.
What's the background on you and your biological parents? Were you just put up for adoption as a baby?
I'll say a prayer for you man.
gllahone84
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I knew my brother was shooting up...because one day I look over at his arm and seen a track mark while he was driving.
I mean we use to burn it down all the time, but I knew something was fishy when he told me he was gonna cop some burn for vacation to match with me; he comes back the night before we leave for vacay, and he says he wasn't able to get any...
Mind you, we know the same people, and I know the dude he was trying to cop from had the tree. So I don't know what happened in just a few hours time.
Anyway, he left the crib for a minute, and comes back empty handed. So I'm like cool...but while on vacation he would disappear in the bathroom, and exhibit all kinds of strange behavior...at least in my eyes.
But I knew what it was when I seen the mark on his arm. I just have an intuition when I know something isn't right...especially when someone is on something heavy like that.
But I knew he smoked crack while coming up, and he did a little bid for forging checks. My grandmother's checks at that. He had hit rock bottom and had to live with her. But he was so strung out, he resorted to forging her checks.
She finds out and turns him over to the police, and he still never has forgiven her till this day, but I'm like man you were the one stealing checks to support your habit. Plus that's your grandmother...
Addiction is no joke. That's why I've never touched anything other than green.
I mean we use to burn it down all the time, but I knew something was fishy when he told me he was gonna cop some burn for vacation to match with me; he comes back the night before we leave for vacay, and he says he wasn't able to get any...
Mind you, we know the same people, and I know the dude he was trying to cop from had the tree. So I don't know what happened in just a few hours time.
Anyway, he left the crib for a minute, and comes back empty handed. So I'm like cool...but while on vacation he would disappear in the bathroom, and exhibit all kinds of strange behavior...at least in my eyes.
But I knew what it was when I seen the mark on his arm. I just have an intuition when I know something isn't right...especially when someone is on something heavy like that.
But I knew he smoked crack while coming up, and he did a little bid for forging checks. My grandmother's checks at that. He had hit rock bottom and had to live with her. But he was so strung out, he resorted to forging her checks.
She finds out and turns him over to the police, and he still never has forgiven her till this day, but I'm like man you were the one stealing checks to support your habit. Plus that's your grandmother...
Addiction is no joke. That's why I've never touched anything other than green.
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$tacy
formerly willchamberlain
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Thats exactly why I don't **** wit any drug. I kno u can sit there and say some drugs not addictive but I kno dudes who started doing other **** bcuz someone would tell em " its like weed times 10, the high is better". Then curiosity kills the cat because the high is better but now your addicted. I flat out go to parties, might drink and thats it. U can have fun without being high all the time people need to realize that ****.
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T
True...but once hooked there is a point of no return..... Same as alcoholics, u got light beer, beer, malt LIQOR , LIQOR , then shine.... It's progression....same with opiates u can break ur leg and get precribed Percs, and then when they stop workin u get 30s or oxys, when they stop workin u start sniffing dope, then slammin, at some point.....when u wake up nd don't have ur drug and ur sick as a dog....and then u get your stuff. And feel normal again, you know your addicted and should seek help....the good thing is there is a place for any person addicted to any drug... The only way to beat the **** is realize that you aren't the center of the universe, turn ur life over too a power greater than urself, and start clearing up all the wreckage of your past, it's basically a inside job. U fix the inside so the outside can work, and thus stuff I'm talking about u must do for the rest of ur life....there MAY be some people's who can just up and stop...but that's not my case......I need support, meetings, sponsor, w/e to keep me free from using... But in my case I'm blowin green heavy, so I can't go to meetings and say I have X amount of time clean. Cuz I don't. I smoke. SO far it hasn't lead me to using hard drugs.. Bt progression gets the best of any addict.
So I guess I am a functioning addict too. FOR NOW. I'm just blessed that if it EVER gets bad enough I know we're to go and who to call , to get sober
True...but once hooked there is a point of no return..... Same as alcoholics, u got light beer, beer, malt LIQOR , LIQOR , then shine.... It's progression....same with opiates u can break ur leg and get precribed Percs, and then when they stop workin u get 30s or oxys, when they stop workin u start sniffing dope, then slammin, at some point.....when u wake up nd don't have ur drug and ur sick as a dog....and then u get your stuff. And feel normal again, you know your addicted and should seek help....the good thing is there is a place for any person addicted to any drug... The only way to beat the **** is realize that you aren't the center of the universe, turn ur life over too a power greater than urself, and start clearing up all the wreckage of your past, it's basically a inside job. U fix the inside so the outside can work, and thus stuff I'm talking about u must do for the rest of ur life....there MAY be some people's who can just up and stop...but that's not my case......I need support, meetings, sponsor, w/e to keep me free from using... But in my case I'm blowin green heavy, so I can't go to meetings and say I have X amount of time clean. Cuz I don't. I smoke. SO far it hasn't lead me to using hard drugs.. Bt progression gets the best of any addict.
So I guess I am a functioning addict too. FOR NOW. I'm just blessed that if it EVER gets bad enough I know we're to go and who to call , to get sober
gllahone84
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I mean that's understandable, but I've been burning since I was 16 and I'm good.
I've never let a dude try to sway me into doing something that I know isn't natural, and can ultimately lead me down a path of addiction. So as much as dudes try and knock trees, I know it's non addictive and I've never had an urge to burn until I handle my business; that includes my priorities at work, as well as school.
As a matter of fact, I feel as if that helps gather my thoughts and reflect better at the end of a long day. It's more therapeutic than anything else.
I'm speaking for myself, others may object to it, and that's cool. But I'm an advocate all day. Only time I plan on chilling is when I finish with grad, and start hunting down another job.
But then I'm back blazing once I pass the dt.
Plus I don't even drink alcohol, that **** is pure filth imo.
I've never let a dude try to sway me into doing something that I know isn't natural, and can ultimately lead me down a path of addiction. So as much as dudes try and knock trees, I know it's non addictive and I've never had an urge to burn until I handle my business; that includes my priorities at work, as well as school.
As a matter of fact, I feel as if that helps gather my thoughts and reflect better at the end of a long day. It's more therapeutic than anything else.
I'm speaking for myself, others may object to it, and that's cool. But I'm an advocate all day. Only time I plan on chilling is when I finish with grad, and start hunting down another job.
But then I'm back blazing once I pass the dt.
Plus I don't even drink alcohol, that **** is pure filth imo.
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I've been too 3 rehabs n I ain't proud of that most of them were for beating charges, and not because I really wanted to get clean... But I just want to point out if u put a heroin addict and a Alcoholic in the same room and detox the same time, there both gonna feel the same. It doesn't matter what drug you are doing...if you do it long enough it's gonna get you..nd wen ur out tryna get clean, ur addiction is training like a mad man. Doing push ups. Waiting for you to go back too the drug.....that's just my 2 cents... I hate needles more than dope itself...outta my crew of 10, 3 overdosed and died 1 being my brother.... 1 of them it was the first time he was slammin, he was sniffing before he died. Same with other cat... My brother had 18 months n tried to slam dope, it makes me wonder, if he sniffed that bag would he still be alive? I don't know....... I never will.... I just am numb too the whole situation... On the other hand 1 of me n my brothers best friends getting Married today... It's amazing, our other friend just had a son 6 months ago.... It's amazing too see the paths we all took together, and then some branch off and do right. And some not make it. So I'm jus gonna enjoy my friends wedding tonight, and I know my brother will be lookin down smilin....
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More power to you an dee.
Repped for your courage.
It takes a lot and is a major step to even accept the fact that you have an addiction.
People that just have negative to say should fall off.
I used to be one of those dudes that judge people with addiction and just said they were weak and irresponsible.
That was until I fought a crippling addiction to cocaine for 2 years. Which I'm still fighting to this day.
People don't understand that it's a disease and even still an addiction when you're sober.
It's something you always fight, and I say more power to you and hopefully you succeed at sobriety.
Repped for your courage.
It takes a lot and is a major step to even accept the fact that you have an addiction.
People that just have negative to say should fall off.
I used to be one of those dudes that judge people with addiction and just said they were weak and irresponsible.
That was until I fought a crippling addiction to cocaine for 2 years. Which I'm still fighting to this day.
People don't understand that it's a disease and even still an addiction when you're sober.
It's something you always fight, and I say more power to you and hopefully you succeed at sobriety.
gllahone84
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I came across an early Time magazine article from the early 80's which basically said cocaine was not addictive; the article was touting cocaine as this wonder drug or something.
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My auntie used to be addicted to dope, she kicked it cold turkey but she smoke 2 packs of newports a day and says she CANNOT kick that habit. I smoke tree, I really felt like I was addicted to it at one point, smoking a 3.5 of cookie every other day whem I couldnt afford to. I prob smoke 3 times a week now, a lil personal L. I dnt even drink, outside a corona every now and then.
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Do you feel as if you're weak for not beating this addiction yet?
al audi
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I don't even understand how someone starts a drug like this.
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OP, get on Suboxone.
Some say its just supplementing the Heroin for another drug, but Suboxone doesn't get you high.
You will be A LOT more stable and wont be spending $500-$1000/week.
STAY AWAY FROM METHADONE.
Good luck OP.
Some say its just supplementing the Heroin for another drug, but Suboxone doesn't get you high.
You will be A LOT more stable and wont be spending $500-$1000/week.
STAY AWAY FROM METHADONE.
Good luck OP.
celticsfan9783
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I'm not sure users understand how powerful the addiction can get when they do it for the 1st time.
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Hope you exercise this demon in you sooner than later. This is some MTV True Life steez but in a written format. 
Good luck.
Good luck.
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Not that hallucinogens are far safer than opiates but if you drop a ton of acid and salvia, you will surely either kill yourself or stop taking drugs completely. Realistically, you should go on a meditation retreat after some rehab to clear your mind up.
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What up, guys!
Back at it, but I'm at work. Will try to respond as much as I can.
-I was adopted at like 2. I've always known because I'm Asian and they're white.
-It takes about 30 seconds to cook it in a spoon or cooker. Then you stick a piece of cotton in and draw up through it to filter out impurities. I boot up 3 times minimum, probably 10x max
-The traumatic event or series events is called "rock bottom." I have yet to hit my bottom, so I'm still at it. In the program they say that some people have high bottoms and some have low bottoms. My friend's death should have effected me more, but the drugs have dulled my ability to feel strong emotions. Which is a gift and a curse. But more so a curse.
-No stroke/heart issues. H by itself doesn't really do that. It's when you start doing speedballs (coke and dope) that puts a strain on your heart. I have done that a few times and it is great but really too scary for me
-My friends and I always kick it when I'm high. I excuse myself, I would never put them in the situation to see me using
-Another thing they say in the program is that without help, we'll end up in either jails, institutions or dead. I believe this.
mackmittenzz, I'm so sorry for your loss, man. It seems like a whole lot of folks even on this board have been directly or indirectly affected by opiate addiction or addiction in general. I'm doing this for you guys, so that you might have a better idea of what your loved ones are/were going through. Lying and dishonestly with friends and family goes hand in hand with addiction, so being honest on here helps me be honest with myself. For that I am very thankful to you for your honest questions.
Back at it, but I'm at work. Will try to respond as much as I can.
-I don't hate my dealer. I've sold drugs on plenty of occasions. I am not a victim. It's all a cycle of money coming in and money going out.
-I was adopted at like 2. I've always known because I'm Asian and they're white.
-It takes about 30 seconds to cook it in a spoon or cooker. Then you stick a piece of cotton in and draw up through it to filter out impurities. I boot up 3 times minimum, probably 10x max
-The traumatic event or series events is called "rock bottom." I have yet to hit my bottom, so I'm still at it. In the program they say that some people have high bottoms and some have low bottoms. My friend's death should have effected me more, but the drugs have dulled my ability to feel strong emotions. Which is a gift and a curse. But more so a curse.
-No stroke/heart issues. H by itself doesn't really do that. It's when you start doing speedballs (coke and dope) that puts a strain on your heart. I have done that a few times and it is great but really too scary for me
-My friends and I always kick it when I'm high. I excuse myself, I would never put them in the situation to see me using
-Another thing they say in the program is that without help, we'll end up in either jails, institutions or dead. I believe this.
mackmittenzz, I'm so sorry for your loss, man. It seems like a whole lot of folks even on this board have been directly or indirectly affected by opiate addiction or addiction in general. I'm doing this for you guys, so that you might have a better idea of what your loved ones are/were going through. Lying and dishonestly with friends and family goes hand in hand with addiction, so being honest on here helps me be honest with myself. For that I am very thankful to you for your honest questions.
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