Nonbelievers who have told their religious parents that they don't believe enter

[voidemperor]

I think the way I told them was that, after doing research and questioning religion, I didn't believe in a god anymore and I couldn't submit myself to a cult.

My dad isn't religious at all so he didn't care, but I think my mom is playing dumb and she still wants to think I am catholic....

my grandma tries to convert me all the time I see her, but I try avoid the topic as much as possible. I love her and I don't want such a silly thing to set us apart.

 

[thorrocksjs]

I wouldnt tell my parents because it would hurt them but I think they understand I'm not a Christian but are in denial

 

[boys noize]

Growing up, my father was not religious (he was just focused on his business and stacking his bread

) and my mom was a non-practicing Catholic (Christmas Mass basically.) I attended a Christian private school for thirteen years of my life and considered myself a believer as far as senior year of high school. That was the only world I really knew. The vast majority of my friends were from school and the others were friends I had made volunteering at church during the summer. At the same time, I was never a fervent believer. I rarely attended church and only prayed when I "needed" god. I did believe the stories in the bible and I really did think there was some guy named Jesus that walked this earth and died on a cross. Looking back, I probably only believed because everyone else around me seemed so sure. I don't think I can say I was ever completely sure about my faith.

When I started going to college, I was exposed to a lot more things and really began shaping my worldview. Needless to say, my perspective widened a whole lot and, slowly, I shed layer by layer the faith I had thought I had. I can't even describe how FREEING it felt to finally be honest with myself; how freeing it felt to not have to live with unnecessary burdens on my shoulders. I always thought it was bizarre that the church looked down on homosexuality when it seemed clear to me, even when I was a believer, that gays didn't choose who they were attracted to. I hated the hypocrisy of the Christians who judged others even though they were full of faults themselves. and ultimately, I just couldn't believe anymore. All the stories, the idea of a caring deity somewhere in the universe, sin, an afterlife... all of that stuff became illogical and unreasonable to me. When I stopped caring about all of that, I started to live.

Then comes the curve ball. Around the end of my fourth year of college (super senior

), my mom started attending church regularly. She found god again and she's been on a religious revival ever since. It really irked me at first but I never said anything. As far as I was concerned, as long as she was happy and she didn't try to make me go to church, I didn't mind what she chose to believe (this is hypocritical on my part since I've stressed in the past that even non-radical belief should be discouraged... what can I say? She's my mother.) It soon got to a point where she tried to get my brother and I to go with her to church on Sundays. We both refused. I haven't really talked to my brother about it but I'm pretty sure he's where I was at his age... Still clinging onto the idea that "there is a god" but not giving a damn about any of the formalities. I think he'll probably drop all of it when he gets to college. My mom pressed me further about why I wouldn't go and I came clean about not believing anymore. She was shocked. Since I had attended that Christian private school all those years, she just assumed I'd be Christian forever or something. I don't know. We had a two hour long conversation and I calmly explained to her my reasons for no longer believing in a god and she took it really well. She still believes and still regularly attends church but doesn't ask me to go with her anymore. I love that she respects my views and, again, as long as she's happy I'll respect hers too.

 

[Peep Game]

 

[cwrite78]

My father leans on the agnostic side more than religious. My mom is pick and choose religious and I'm atheist. My brother thinks he's Buddhist. I say we are all open minded about each other's believes and non believes.

 

[twozerosix]

Originally Posted by Peep Game

So I'm assuming no one's watching the Broncos/Steelers game right now?

 

[imthekang]

IF BRONCOS WIN THE SUPERBOWL IM GOING TO ATTEND CHURCH REGULARLY

 

[uknowdonti]

Originally Posted by AntBanks81

I'm a believer

You've made a decision that is not popular with your parents. You have to be prepared to handle things that come with that decision.

We all have to grow up on our own. Maybe you will grow to believe one day.

I was thinking the other day that if we believers were wrong, the worst thing that would happen would be we're dead. BUT, in the chance we are right, WOW!! I'm not going to argue with any of you that don't believe.

I'm no expert in science...hell, I barely passed the subject throughout my years of school. BUT, I just can't vibe with the idea that there was this big boom and then everything just started happening.

I understand where you're coming from but to educe Pascal's wager as a means of proof is a dangerous and detrimental stance to take, to say the least.  I grew up very religious so I understand firsthand the appeal and allure of religion and the strength of conviction it cultivates in people.  It is something that cannot be tangibly measured and, therefore, cannot be properly criticized, or scrutinized, by others as your level of "faith" is wholly consistent, and dependent, upon your unique disposition as a person.  In other words, faith cannot be veritably disputed or reputed as it is a subjective value contingent upon your particular worldview. 

With that being said, I would argue the opposite in fact and say it is better to not indulge yourself with Pascal's wager, especially if you believe in an omnipotent god.  If god is all knowing then there is no reason to pretend to believe in something that "it" already knows to be false.  Pascal's wager does nothing more than expose our fear of the unknown and our inability to grasp, and accept, the prospect of our own mortality.

 

[Gex the Damaja]

Originally Posted by AntonLaVey

Originally Posted by Scientific Method

Originally Posted by AntBanks81

I'm a believer

You've made a decision that is not popular with your parents. You have to be prepared to handle things that come with that decision.

We all have to grow up on our own. Maybe you will grow to believe one day.

I was thinking the other day that if we believers were wrong, the worst thing that would happen would be we're dead. BUT, in the chance we are right, WOW!! I'm not going to argue with any of you that don't believe.

I'm no expert in science...hell, I barely passed the subject throughout my years of school. BUT, I just can't vibe with the idea that there was this big boom and then everything just started happening.

Except isn't your God allegedly all knowing? So he would, therefore, know you are just playing the "just in case" game and therefore not honor that.

And funny you can't vibe with a Big Boom, but talking bushes, dudes getting swallowed by fish and living in the stomach for 3 days, Red Sea splitting so people can walk through, guys living to be 969, sticks being turned to snakes and water turned to wine, virgin births; all of that sounds reasonable.

Even still, as a believer you run into that same "gotcha" as people who believe in the Big Boom. At some point there was nothing and then God just appeared out of nowhere, well who created him?

So in terms of rational explanations, 0-0. You could argue both belief and science fail. Everything after that, yea everything you guys believe in henceforth is hard to believe to say the least.

Funniest thing about the Bible the vast majority of Christians don't even get is, how many people God killed in the Bible in comparison to Satan, and we're supposed to take Satan as the bad one.

This question always gets them

I remember one day a group of use went to different houses of faith and where allowed to ask questions on that religion, I forgot which religion it was but I asked who created God? O WE ACCEPT GOD HAS ALWAYS BEEN PRESENT. Even at 9, I knew that answer was trash but couldn't do anything was in a church full of people. That answer produces more doubt then it does good, all it does is raise new questions that tear apart the whole foundation.Disclaimer- Coming from someone who believes in a high power but doubts that high power has control over out action which raises the questions is it worth worshipping someone who can't do much for you..another time

 

[atlsfinest]

I told my mom a couple of years back. She still believes that I'm gonna come around eventually and even asks me to go to church with her thinking that somehow "it" is just gonna hit me one day.

 

[aznlilrs]

My mother is, what I consider to be, a religious fanatic. My dad is Agnostic/Atheist (never really discussed with him). My sister and I were both raised Catholic. We went to Catholic school from K-8, church every Sunday, Catholic School on Sundays, my first friends were in the Catholic community that I still have to go to, I am very very familiar with Catholic ideals, people, traditions, and all of that $@+@. As a kid, I never really fervently believed because I wasn't really intelligent enough to formulate my own opinions and defend them without recycling $@+@ that I heard from other people. I never really followed the teachings and always got into a lot of trouble. Because of this, my mom told me that she always prayed for me to "find god" and follow his path and $@+@ like that. She always told me about how god saved her and helped her through all her struggles and whatnot. Furthermore, my parents have a really %%%+@% relationship and my mom wanted both my sister and I to essentially side with her through using the Catholic faith and teachings to force us to see her as the "good" parent. (My dad's a, annoying **** so I never really minded.)
In 7th grade I got in a !%@%!!@* of trouble for calling some girl a fajet and to prevent my mom from finding out and to not get into even worse trouble, I basically prayed every night to not get in trouble. When I ended up not getting in trouble, I sort of blindly believed that there was a god simply because I didn't get in trouble. But then I pretty much realized throughout high school (currently a Senior) that that's kind of dumb as hell. I never really understood why we had to go to church every Sunday and have to read stories about all these saints and prophets when the only message I understood was the message of love. I couldn't vibe with the !%@%!!@* of formalities, rituals, traditions that we HAVE to follow each mass (I'm an altar server so I get first-hand experience with everything that goes on in Church) when none of that benefits us in anyway. It doesn't follow church teachings because there is absolutely nothing in the Bible that says that we HAVE to have incense on special mass days or we need to wear a certain garb to serve. Everything seemed to superficial to me about the Catholic church and the only thing I could really vibe with was the message of serving others, but I couldn't even justify that as a Catholic. I justified spreading a message of love on the basis that we're human ##%%##% beings and that's what separates us from all the other animals. We all have a human desire to understand the emotions of others, whether positive or not.

When I sort of came to all this understanding on my own, I became a completely different person because I could finally stop being an angtsy teenager *%$*# that thinks they know everything and become a person that actually wants to learn about everyone and why they do, believe, act the way they do, believe, act, etc... By shunning the Catholic traditions, I allowed myself to have an open mind. Now to answer your question, I tried to tell my mom that I don't really believe in the Catholic church in a one-on-one conversation over dinner and she never really acknowledged what I had to say. She just kept saying how god helped her get to where she is now. I really admire her for that because she was able to work through some serious $@+@ to raise a %%%+@% little kid like me, but she pretty much completely ignored me when I said I don't really believe in Catholicism. Because I'm still a senior in high school and I plan on attending college, I won't tell my mom just yet, unless push comes to shove. My sister and my mom have both forced me into being involved with our Catholic community and the ironic thing is I'm a leader in our high school youth group. I even played God in a play that I directed and wrote (while under the influence of cannabis).

In short, I don't plan on telling my mom the straight up truth that I'm not Catholic and that I'm still discerning my beliefs until I become independent and she asks me. The thing that I just really don't understand is how the main focus of the whole Catholic ideal, teaching, belief, whatever, is a message of God's eternal love, yet a majority of the Catholic population refuses to maintain an open-mind and embrace that everyone is an individual. All of the Catholics that I have encountered don't preach a message of love, but rather one of exclusiveness and pretty much facism.
Yo this long as +%%#.

 

[aka longstroke]

I was very fortunate that both my Mother and Father agreed that I would not be baptized, nor forced into any religion as a child, thus giving me the choice that when I became an adult, that I could choose what it was that I would follow.
It was a wise decision, one that has allowed me to live most of my life without the guilt that most of my peers have to cope with, on a daily basis.

 

[airjapan707]

My dad is a pastor at a pentecostal church. I knew from the time I was 10 that I didn't buy the whole religious thing. It wasn't until I was older and saw that religion really drove my family apart that I told my dad how I really felt. I was already on my own at the time but we came to respect each others opionions eevn though we are both very set in our ways. Growing up in a very religious house has my mind made up that it does more harm than good. I could go all day on the subject but that is just my 2 cents.

 

[shatterkneesinc]

Originally Posted by Peep Game

indeed

 

[510hayward]

My mom gets angry when I start asking questions. I asked her if batman was real because the comic said so and she got mad, I just throw little hints whenever I get the chance. I know she gets mad but its whatever.

 

[ill legal operation]

Originally Posted by sillyputty

I've been VERY subtle doing this by slightly trolling my dad about it when I see him. Hes more open minded about stuff like this than my mom. I'm sure hes agnostic at this point. Combined with the fact that hes not from the US and hes aware of how governments lie, etc., he is naturally very skeptical...which is a good thing.

My mom is religious more for the sake of community than anything from what I've seen at this point.

My sister is religious because it serves her narcissism

I STRONGLY advise people not to do this until they are financially independent because it would be incredibly sad to be disowned or mistreated over something so stupid.


My thing is, if you've managed to suck it up for SO LONG...just keep on doing so until you're on your own.

I've personally seen people go through some ridiculous things for not being religious that could have been avoided if they decided to keep it to themselves.
If your parents are open minded enough and up for a discussion, try trading books with them. "I'll read this if you read that" type of thing. Just so you all can come to a better understanding of where you all stand.

So you haven't told your parents?

 

[fog]

Funny because today was the first time going to church with my mother in a few years now. I want to believe, and I do think there IS a God out there, but I don't see the point of going to church... It seems so superficial.

I left halfway through the meeting.

 

[Renaldo Balkman]

been having similar conversations with my wifey (she is very pro church)...

my new years resolution is to read the bible, every word of it, in a non biased approach (neither pro nor anti religion)

keep in mind I teach a history class, so it is very easy for me to read this document in a historical context without being judgmental...

I will check back in on new years day 2013...

 

[sillyputty]

Originally Posted by AntBanks81

I'm a believer

You've made a decision that is not popular with your parents. You have to be prepared to handle things that come with that decision.

True and I agree with you.
However, some responses have more legitimate bases than others.

Just because you might have arrived at a particular conclusion doesn't substantiate that conclusion or make it more real, true, or valid.

We all have to grow up on our own. Maybe you will grow to believe one day.

I disagree.
To me, this statement is akin to hoping that one day you will believe in Santa.

I was thinking the other day that if we believers were wrong, the worst thing that would happen would be we're dead. BUT, in the chance we are right, WOW!! I'm not going to argue with any of you that don't believe.

I suggest you look into something called PASCALS WAGER.
It was a conjecture originated...well...popularized by Blaise Pascal.

It says that its essentially that its better to believe than because if you're wrong, then you get sent to hell but if you're right then you right then you will go to heaven.

This is what you are doing.

That sounds all good...except its flat out wrong.

Its a logical fallacy.

Pascal's wager fails because of the following:

1. It asserts that only your god exists. When that isn't true to the other people that believe in other religions. What if you're praying to the wrong god?

2. If you are believing only to not be wrong, then you aren't a real believer. Do you think you could fool an all-knowing god that you're only believing so that you get something out of it in the end, not that you honestly believe in that stuff?

3. Belief in things unsubstantiated is a waste of time and energy that could be better used.

I'm no expert in science...

There seems to be a trend highlighting this fact among many believers...

hell, I barely passed the subject throughout my years of school.

I wish you had...

BUT, I just can't vibe with the idea that there was this big boom and then everything just started happening.

Wait, so this makes more sense to you?

First of all, it might be easier to vibe with if you could call it what its usually called...the Big Bang.

And it doesn't assert that it was an explosion in a fashion similar to how we think of car bombs...but rather, more of an energetic superposition of energy states that resulted in the current status of the universe...but thats a gross simplification of the entire process.

The point is, just because you don't understand something, doesn't make it wrong.

Take time to educate yourself on the matter before you discard it.

But then you may ask, well maybe you should educate yourself on christianity!...

...to which I reply, I have...in fact, I hear about a new pitch for christianity every single day, and not one of them stands up to the tests of logical inquiry or substantiates itself. Thus, I don't support any claims asserted by christians or other religious people.

Originally Posted by ILL LEGAL OPERATION

Originally Posted by sillyputty

I've been VERY subtle doing this by slightly trolling my dad about it when I see him. Hes more open minded about stuff like this than my mom. I'm sure hes agnostic at this point. Combined with the fact that hes not from the US and hes aware of how governments lie, etc., he is naturally very skeptical...which is a good thing. 

My mom is religious more for the sake of community than anything from what I've seen at this point.

My sister is religious because it serves her narcissism

I STRONGLY advise people not to do this until they are financially independent because it would be incredibly sad to be disowned or mistreated over something so stupid.


My thing is, if you've managed to suck it up for SO LONG...just keep on doing so until you're on your own.

I've personally seen people go through some ridiculous things for not being religious that could have been avoided if they decided to keep it to themselves.
If your parents are open minded enough and up for a discussion, try trading books with them. "I'll read this if you read that" type of thing. Just so you all can come to a better understanding of where you all stand.

So you haven't told your parents?

My parents pretty much know...its just not official.
I just avoid it when I see them.

My dad is a lot easier to talk to about it. I'm pretty sure that if I had the patience, I could convince him that he was an atheist...but hey, research and reading takes a lot of time...they're grown adults and many of them are set in their ways...plus its not like they forced it on me so I consider myself more lucky than a lot of other kids who grew up in fundamentalist homes.

Essentially, I don't HAVE to tell my parents. Its not a pressing issue at the moment.

 

[solegit08til]

My entire family is Christian, but only my close family knows my beliefs (comprised of pantheist/atheist/buddhist beliefs and morals) with the exception of one grandfather who is a pastor in Chicago. I don't wanna tell him or my other family over the phone so I'm waiting to do it in person. I feel bad though because they are all old. The way I see it, the older the believer, the more disrespected/hurt/insulted they feel when you challenge their beliefs. Therefore, I'm just gonna tell them what I believe and leave it at that.



On another note, the teacher in my DV class started preaching to us, despite the separation of church and state (which i mentioned to him several times). He was in disbelief that i believe in evolution. The only people verbally backing him were also the only other black people in the class.

Putty and fellow atheist brethren, give me a few good questions to debate with him in front of the class. I want him to not be able to answer as many simple questions as possible.

I hit him with a few Adam & Eve and Noah questions but he just started quoting their stories and avoided answering.

 

[sillyputty]

Originally Posted by solegit08til

My entire family is Christian, but only my close family knows my beliefs (comprised of pantheist/atheist/buddhist beliefs and morals) with the exception of one grandfather who is a pastor in Chicago. I don't wanna tell him or my other family over the phone so I'm waiting to do it in person. I feel bad though because they are all old. The way I see it, the older the believer, the more disrespected/hurt/insulted they feel when you challenge their beliefs. Therefore, I'm just gonna tell them what I believe and leave it at that.



On another note, the teacher in my DV class started preaching to us, despite the separation of church and state (which i mentioned to him several times). He was in disbelief that i believe in evolution. The only people verbally backing him were also the only other black people in the class.

Putty and fellow atheist brethren, give me a few good questions to debate with him in front of the class. I want him to not be able to answer as many simple questions as possible.

I hit him with a few Adam & Eve and Noah questions but he just started quoting their stories and avoided answering.

I don't know what DV class is, but it sounds like you're in a religious school.
In that case, be careful to not get kicked out. 

They don't like it when you ask too many questions. 

You're challenging EVERYTHING they THINK they know. They've spent their entire lives believing in this stuff so its going to be hard to combat. 

Then you also have to account for the notion that you could easily be labeled as a problem child or outcast for your views.

The funny thing is, little kids who haven't heard of christianity have better ways to debunk religion than most adults do...its completely easy to do so. They ask enough questions already. None of it makes any sense.

Just start reading more and watching YT videos.

There are some great online debates with names like Hitchens, Dawkins, Sam Harris, Daniel Dennett, Stephen Hawking, Dave Silverman, Lawrence Krauss and Matt Dillahunty. Many of these same names have books that may help you as well. 

You'd be surprised but there are lot of comedians that challenge religion as well in very unique ways. Tim Minchin, Oswald Patton, Ricky Gervais, Doug Stanhope, Bill Hicks, Richard Pryor, George Carlin, 

There are some great weekly online shows that have callers like The Atheist Experience, and Godless (B-word's) or countless ones on Youtube and other podcasts.

Honestly, a simple google search will reveal you to a bunch of resources and communities. Its all really simple. 

Hit me in the PM and I can show you more.

Honestly, I know more about religion as a non-believer because I take the time to research it, than most believers do...which is why they're dumbfounded by the stuff in their own religious texts. 

But again, don't cause yourself any unnecessary harm unless you're able to deal with the consequences from a group of people literally willing to HURT you over their "beliefs." Play it smart and know your boundaries. As silly as it sounds, but these people are in a mental space that really don't allow for legitimate critical thinking of their own beliefs. They don't understand that everything is up for debate, even what they consider to be sacred. 

If nothing else, I feel like I have had to learn more about the Star Wars universe to explain to others that Luke Skywalker wasn't real... Thats how asinine this whole thing is. 

 

[ogbobbyjohnson773]

Originally Posted by Tr1ll

Originally Posted by Rusty Shackelford

I cant wait for silly putty's size 300 font response

I wouldn't be too shocked if he skipped this one...

 

[beware the underdog]

Since sillyputty loves meme's. I wonder how he feels about these.

  

 

 

 

 

[sillyputty]

Originally Posted by Beware The Underdog

Since sillyputty loves meme's. I wonder how he feels about these.

  

Did you seriously PM me about this?

By that virtue, you're not worthy of an adequate response.

Moving on.

 

[beware the underdog]

Just wanted your thoughts. Thats all. But you're  mad its ok I understand maybe next time.