- 4,096
- 13
- Joined
- Feb 9, 2008
[table][tr][/tr][tr][td]Hey, you wanna do a 68? You go down on me, and I'll owe you one.[/td][/tr][tr][td]If I flip a coin, what are my chances of getting head?[/td][/tr][tr][td]Do you work at Subway? Because you just gave me a footlong.[/td][/tr][tr][td]Do you live on a chicken farm? [No] You sure know how to raise cocks.[/td][/tr][tr][td]That shirt's very becoming on you. If I were on you, I'd be coming too.
[/td][/tr][tr][td]Your face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts tighten up.[/td][/tr][tr][td]%%@+ me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?[/td][/tr][tr][td]Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears? [Pull your pockets inside out] Would you like to?
[/td][/tr][tr][td]I lost my virginity. Can I have yours?[/td][/tr][tr][td]Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.[/td][/tr][tr][td]Someone vacuum my lap, I think this girl needs a clean place to sit.[/td][/tr][tr][td]Hey baby, I think you just made my two by four into a four by eight.
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[table][tr][td]Hey, you wanna do a 68? You go down on me, and I'll owe you one.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]If I flip a coin, what are my chances of getting head?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Do you work at Subway? Because you just gave me a footlong.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Hi, do you want to have my children? [No] OK, can we just practice then?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Do you live on a chicken farm? [No] You sure know how to raise cocks.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]My **** just died. Would you mind if I buried it in your !*#?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]That shirt's very becoming on you. If I were on you, I'd be coming too.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Do you know the difference between my penis and a chicken wing? No? Well, let's go on a picnic and find out![/td] [/tr][tr][td] Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Your face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts tighten up.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Excuse me, but would you like an orally stimulated orgasm?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]%$+@ me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears? [Pull your pockets inside out] Would you like to?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]I lost my virginity. Can I have yours?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Hey babe, how about a pizza and a %$+@? [No] What's wrong, don't you like pizza?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Someone vacuum my lap, I think this girl needs a clean place to sit.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put 'U' between 'F' and 'CK'[/td] [/tr][tr][td]%$+@ me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Laura?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Hey Baby! I'd like to use your thighs as earmuffs.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore....my face should be among them.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Hey baby, I think you just made my two by four into a four by eight.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Is that a keg in your pants? Because I'd love to tap that !*#.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Hey cutie, wanna go halves on a baby?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]I'll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]You are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Just remember: To you, I am a virgin.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]What's the speed limit of sex? [what?] 68. Because at 69 YOU have to turn around![/td] [/tr][tr][td]I'm an astronaut and my next mission is to explore Uranus.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]I spent over a grand on Viagra today, only to come here and see you and find out that I don't need it after all.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Brrr! My hands are cold. Can I warm them in your heaving breasts?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]I'm hung like a tic tac. Wanna freshen your breath?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Do you cum here often or wait till you get home?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Do you have a mirror in your pocket? (Why?) Because I can see myself in your pants.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Do you wash your panties with Windex? Because I can really see myself in them.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]If I had AIDS, would you have sex with me? [No] Well, I don't, so let's go.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Excuse me, but do you give head to strangers? [No] Well then, allow me to introduce myself.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]I wanna floss with your pubic hair.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]If your right leg was Christmas and your left leg was Easter, would you let me come for dinner between the holidays?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]That dress looks great on you...as a matter of fact, so would I.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]So, come back to my place, and if you don't like it I swear I'll give you a full refund.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Miss, If you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Let's have a party and invite your pants to come on down.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Do you have any Italian in you? Would you like some?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Hey baby, let's play house, you can be the door and I'll slam you![/td] [/tr][tr][td]Hi, my name is "Milk." I'll do your body good.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]I think I could fall madly in bed with you.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]I had a wet dream about you last night. Would you like to make it a reality?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger? [No] Wink.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Hey baby, wanna play lion? You go kneel down right there and I'll throw you my meat.[/td] [/tr][tr][td][Excuse me, do you have the time?] "Yes, do you have the energy?"[/td] [/tr][tr][td]At the office copy machine "Reproducing eh?" "Can I help?"[/td] [/tr][tr][td](Use index finger to call someone over then say) I made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with my whole hand.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Hi, wanna %$+@? [No] Mind lying down while I do?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]I know a great way to burn off the calories in that pastry you just ate.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Is your name daisy? Because I have a sudden urge to plant you right here![/td] [/tr][tr][td] Does your !*# have Allstate insurance? [No, why?] Well do you want it to be in good hands? [/td] [/tr][tr][td] Hey there, I just took some Cialis and I have 18 hours left.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]I must expel some seminal fluid. May I use your body?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Hold out two fingers and say: "Why should a woman masturbate with these two fingers?" (I don't know.) "'Cause they're mine sweetheart."[/td] [/tr][tr][td]I wanna put my thingy into your thingy.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Excuse me, I am about to go masturbate and needed a name to go with the face.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]I would absolutely love to swap bodily fluids with you.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]I'm gonna have sex with you tonight so, you might as well be there.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by tomorrow morning.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]My name's [your name]. Just so you know what to scream.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Nice shoes, wanna %$+@?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Nice socks. Can I try them on after we have sex?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Nice ****. Mind if I squeeze them?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Oh, you're a bird watcher. [Pull out your dong] Well, would you take this for a swallow?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Since we've been told to reduce waste these days, what you say we use these condoms in my pocket before they expire.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Take an ice cube to the bar, smash it, and say, "Now that I've broken the ice, will you sleep with me?"[/td] [/tr][tr][td]The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to %$+@ you on the floor.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]We're going to dance to one song, then go back to my apartment and %$+@.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]What can I do to make you sleep with me?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Let's go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]I wish you were a screen door, so I could slam you all day long![/td] [/tr][tr][td]Your place or mine? Tell you what? I'll flip a coin. Head at my place, tail at yours.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]I'd like to get between your legs and eat my way straight to your heart...[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Hey! Wanna play war? I'll lay on the ground and you blow the %$+@ outta me![/td] [/tr][tr][td]If we were both squirrels, would you let me bust a nut in your hole?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]My ****'s been feeling a little dead lately. Wanna give it some mouth-to-mouth?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]If I told you I had a 2 inch **** would you %$+@ me? [No] Good, because mine is 8 inches.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Do you like apples? [Yes/No] How about I take you home and %$+@ the *##$ out of you. How do like them apples?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Do you like jewels? [Yes/No] well, suck my ****, it's a gem.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]They say sex is a killer... Do you want to die happy? [/td] [/tr][tr][td]First, I'd like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then, I'll move up to your belly button.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Your lips are kinda wrinkled. Mind if I press them?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]I have a big headache. I hear the best cure for headaches is sex. What say we go upstairs and work out a remedy.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]So, Is it safe to say I'm gonna score?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]I just checked my schedule and I can have you pregnant by Christmas.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]I'm like Domino's Pizza. If I don't cum in 30 minutes, the next one is free.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Do you like my belt buckle? (any response is okay ) It would look better against your forehead![/td] [/tr][tr][td]Do you wanna come to the Marines, or would your rather have a Marine come into you?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Are you gay? [No] Wow, me neither, let's have sex.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]If I washed my ****, would you suck it? [No] Oh, so you like to suck dirty @+%%%.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Nice *%+!%@% weather. Want to?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap next to my bed.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]We're out of bleach. Do you want to go in the janitor's closet and make out? [/td] [/tr][tr][td]There are 265 bones in the human body. How would you like one more?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Those are nice jeans, do you think I could get in them?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Wanna play carnival? You sit on my face and I guess how much you weigh.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]What do you like for breakfast?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Which is easier? You getting into those tight pants or getting you out of them?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Why don't you come over here, sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Why don't you surprise your roommate and not come home tonight?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]You have some nice jewelry. It would look great on my nightstand.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Are those lumberjack pants your wearing? They are giving me a wood.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]You remind me of a championship bass, I don't know whether to mount you or eat you.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Hey baby, as long as I have a face, you'll have a place to sit.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Hey baby there's a party in my pants and you are invited![/td] [/tr][tr][td]Can I walk through your bushes and climb your mountains?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Hey I'm looking for treasure, Can I look around your chest?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]I'm a freelance gynecologist. How long has it been since your last checkup?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Yeah, it's big and if you pet it, it spits[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Let us let only latex stand between our love.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Do you wanna see why my nickname is 'tri-pod'?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]There are a lot of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd like to mount.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]I heard your ankles were having a party... want to invite your pants down?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Are you a virgin? [No] Prove it![/td] [/tr][tr][td]You bring a whole new meaning to the word, "edible."[/td] [/tr][tr][td]I don't know what you think of me, but I hope it's X-rated.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Want to play lion tamer? You could get on all fours and I'll put my head in your mouth.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]If I was a watermelon, would you spit or swallow my seed?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Do you like chicken? Sorry, I haven't got any, how about a %%$*?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]I think that we might be related. Let me check for the family birthmark on your chest.[/td] [/tr][tr][td](Look down at your crotch) It's not just going to suck itself.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]I'm a writer, you're a writer, how about we get naked together and put some poetry in motion?[/td] [/tr][tr][td](Hold up a screw) Wanna screw?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Do you want to come over to my place and feed your beaver some wood?[/td] [/tr][tr][td][What are you doing?] I'm taking off my shoes. [Why?] So I can take off my pants.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]How about you be my story and I'll be your climax![/td] [/tr][tr][td]"I have this magic watch that can actually talk to me. Seriously, it's saying something right now. It says that you're not wearing any underwear, is that true?." [No.] "Oh wait, my watch is an hour fast![/td] [/tr][tr][td]I like your hair, your eyes, your smile... I like every bone in your body... Especially mine![/td] [/tr][tr][td]Do you sleep on your stomach? [No] Can I?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Lets play "Titanic." When I say "Iceburg!" you do down.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Do you believe guys think with their ****? (Yeah.) Well, in that case, will you blow my mind?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Smile. It is the second best thing you can do with your lips.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Don't you think most people who use pick-up lines are dipsticks? (Yes.) In that case, mind if I check your oil level?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Your shirt has to go, but you can stay.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Would you like to actively engage in mock procreation?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]I'm easy. Are you?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Could you do me a favor? Could you get on your knees and smile like a donut?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]This is a condom. If we put it on, we can have sex.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]I WANT SEX! Sorry, the doctor said that would help....[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Do you believe in free love? [No] Then how much do you cost?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Hey baby, I'll %$+@ you so well the NEIGHBORS will be having a cigarette when we're done.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Want to make a porno? We don't have to tape it.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Let's not mess with nature. We are here to make babies. So, let's get to it.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]I don't know you, and you don't know me, but who's to say it's wrong if we sleep together?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Is it that cold out or are you just smuggling tic-tac's in your bra?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]I just popped a Viagra. So, we've got about 30 minutes to get back to your place.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]I think that pick-up lines are for people with to much time on their hands. Let's just %$+@.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]You have a beautiful voice. I bet it would sound even better muffled by my penis.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]If you can dance, you have my hand, but if you can sing, you have my heart. I hope to God you can't sing because I just wanna %$+@ you.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Hi. I'm gay, think you can convert me?[/td] [/tr][tr][td] I'm the finger down your spine when all the lights go out.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]If I'm a pain in your !*#... We can just add more lubricants.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Life is short. Let's %$+@ and see if there is anything after that.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Let me eat you for an hour. If you don't want to have sex after that, we won't.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]All those curves, and me with no brakes.[/td] [/tr][tr][td](give the person a bottle of tequila) Drink this, then call me when you're ready.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Hi, will you help me find my lost puppy? I think he went into this cheap motel room across the street.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]I'm trying to determine after years of therapy and lots of testing, whether or not I'm allergic to sex.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Walk into her chest) "If they weren't sooo large, it wouldn't have happened.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]I have the entire dictionary written on my ****. Want me to put some words in your mouth??[/td] [/tr][tr][td]The FBI wants to steal my penis. Can I hide it inside you?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Are those space pants? Cuz your !*# is out of this world![/td][/tr][/table]
[/td][/tr][/table]
[/td][/tr][tr][td]Your face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts tighten up.[/td][/tr][tr][td]%%@+ me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?[/td][/tr][tr][td]Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears? [Pull your pockets inside out] Would you like to?
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[table][tr][td]Hey, you wanna do a 68? You go down on me, and I'll owe you one.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]If I flip a coin, what are my chances of getting head?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Do you work at Subway? Because you just gave me a footlong.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Hi, do you want to have my children? [No] OK, can we just practice then?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Do you live on a chicken farm? [No] You sure know how to raise cocks.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]My **** just died. Would you mind if I buried it in your !*#?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]That shirt's very becoming on you. If I were on you, I'd be coming too.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Do you know the difference between my penis and a chicken wing? No? Well, let's go on a picnic and find out![/td] [/tr][tr][td] Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Your face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts tighten up.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Excuse me, but would you like an orally stimulated orgasm?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]%$+@ me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears? [Pull your pockets inside out] Would you like to?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]I lost my virginity. Can I have yours?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Hey babe, how about a pizza and a %$+@? [No] What's wrong, don't you like pizza?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Someone vacuum my lap, I think this girl needs a clean place to sit.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put 'U' between 'F' and 'CK'[/td] [/tr][tr][td]%$+@ me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Laura?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Hey Baby! I'd like to use your thighs as earmuffs.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore....my face should be among them.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Hey baby, I think you just made my two by four into a four by eight.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Is that a keg in your pants? Because I'd love to tap that !*#.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Hey cutie, wanna go halves on a baby?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]I'll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]You are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Just remember: To you, I am a virgin.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]What's the speed limit of sex? [what?] 68. Because at 69 YOU have to turn around![/td] [/tr][tr][td]I'm an astronaut and my next mission is to explore Uranus.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]I spent over a grand on Viagra today, only to come here and see you and find out that I don't need it after all.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Brrr! My hands are cold. Can I warm them in your heaving breasts?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]I'm hung like a tic tac. Wanna freshen your breath?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Do you cum here often or wait till you get home?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Do you have a mirror in your pocket? (Why?) Because I can see myself in your pants.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Do you wash your panties with Windex? Because I can really see myself in them.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]If I had AIDS, would you have sex with me? [No] Well, I don't, so let's go.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Excuse me, but do you give head to strangers? [No] Well then, allow me to introduce myself.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]I wanna floss with your pubic hair.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]If your right leg was Christmas and your left leg was Easter, would you let me come for dinner between the holidays?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]That dress looks great on you...as a matter of fact, so would I.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]So, come back to my place, and if you don't like it I swear I'll give you a full refund.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Miss, If you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Let's have a party and invite your pants to come on down.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Do you have any Italian in you? Would you like some?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Hey baby, let's play house, you can be the door and I'll slam you![/td] [/tr][tr][td]Hi, my name is "Milk." I'll do your body good.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]I think I could fall madly in bed with you.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]I had a wet dream about you last night. Would you like to make it a reality?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger? [No] Wink.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Hey baby, wanna play lion? You go kneel down right there and I'll throw you my meat.[/td] [/tr][tr][td][Excuse me, do you have the time?] "Yes, do you have the energy?"[/td] [/tr][tr][td]At the office copy machine "Reproducing eh?" "Can I help?"[/td] [/tr][tr][td](Use index finger to call someone over then say) I made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with my whole hand.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Hi, wanna %$+@? [No] Mind lying down while I do?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]I know a great way to burn off the calories in that pastry you just ate.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Is your name daisy? Because I have a sudden urge to plant you right here![/td] [/tr][tr][td] Does your !*# have Allstate insurance? [No, why?] Well do you want it to be in good hands? [/td] [/tr][tr][td] Hey there, I just took some Cialis and I have 18 hours left.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]I must expel some seminal fluid. May I use your body?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Hold out two fingers and say: "Why should a woman masturbate with these two fingers?" (I don't know.) "'Cause they're mine sweetheart."[/td] [/tr][tr][td]I wanna put my thingy into your thingy.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Excuse me, I am about to go masturbate and needed a name to go with the face.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]I would absolutely love to swap bodily fluids with you.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]I'm gonna have sex with you tonight so, you might as well be there.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by tomorrow morning.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]My name's [your name]. Just so you know what to scream.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Nice shoes, wanna %$+@?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Nice socks. Can I try them on after we have sex?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Nice ****. Mind if I squeeze them?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Oh, you're a bird watcher. [Pull out your dong] Well, would you take this for a swallow?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Since we've been told to reduce waste these days, what you say we use these condoms in my pocket before they expire.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Take an ice cube to the bar, smash it, and say, "Now that I've broken the ice, will you sleep with me?"[/td] [/tr][tr][td]The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to %$+@ you on the floor.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]We're going to dance to one song, then go back to my apartment and %$+@.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]What can I do to make you sleep with me?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Let's go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]I wish you were a screen door, so I could slam you all day long![/td] [/tr][tr][td]Your place or mine? Tell you what? I'll flip a coin. Head at my place, tail at yours.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]I'd like to get between your legs and eat my way straight to your heart...[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Hey! Wanna play war? I'll lay on the ground and you blow the %$+@ outta me![/td] [/tr][tr][td]If we were both squirrels, would you let me bust a nut in your hole?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]My ****'s been feeling a little dead lately. Wanna give it some mouth-to-mouth?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]If I told you I had a 2 inch **** would you %$+@ me? [No] Good, because mine is 8 inches.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Do you like apples? [Yes/No] How about I take you home and %$+@ the *##$ out of you. How do like them apples?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Do you like jewels? [Yes/No] well, suck my ****, it's a gem.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]They say sex is a killer... Do you want to die happy? [/td] [/tr][tr][td]First, I'd like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then, I'll move up to your belly button.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Your lips are kinda wrinkled. Mind if I press them?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]I have a big headache. I hear the best cure for headaches is sex. What say we go upstairs and work out a remedy.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]So, Is it safe to say I'm gonna score?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]I just checked my schedule and I can have you pregnant by Christmas.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]I'm like Domino's Pizza. If I don't cum in 30 minutes, the next one is free.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Do you like my belt buckle? (any response is okay ) It would look better against your forehead![/td] [/tr][tr][td]Do you wanna come to the Marines, or would your rather have a Marine come into you?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Are you gay? [No] Wow, me neither, let's have sex.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]If I washed my ****, would you suck it? [No] Oh, so you like to suck dirty @+%%%.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Nice *%+!%@% weather. Want to?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap next to my bed.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]We're out of bleach. Do you want to go in the janitor's closet and make out? [/td] [/tr][tr][td]There are 265 bones in the human body. How would you like one more?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Those are nice jeans, do you think I could get in them?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Wanna play carnival? You sit on my face and I guess how much you weigh.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]What do you like for breakfast?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Which is easier? You getting into those tight pants or getting you out of them?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Why don't you come over here, sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Why don't you surprise your roommate and not come home tonight?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]You have some nice jewelry. It would look great on my nightstand.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Are those lumberjack pants your wearing? They are giving me a wood.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]You remind me of a championship bass, I don't know whether to mount you or eat you.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Hey baby, as long as I have a face, you'll have a place to sit.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Hey baby there's a party in my pants and you are invited![/td] [/tr][tr][td]Can I walk through your bushes and climb your mountains?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Hey I'm looking for treasure, Can I look around your chest?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]I'm a freelance gynecologist. How long has it been since your last checkup?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Yeah, it's big and if you pet it, it spits[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Let us let only latex stand between our love.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Do you wanna see why my nickname is 'tri-pod'?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]There are a lot of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd like to mount.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]I heard your ankles were having a party... want to invite your pants down?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Are you a virgin? [No] Prove it![/td] [/tr][tr][td]You bring a whole new meaning to the word, "edible."[/td] [/tr][tr][td]I don't know what you think of me, but I hope it's X-rated.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Want to play lion tamer? You could get on all fours and I'll put my head in your mouth.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]If I was a watermelon, would you spit or swallow my seed?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Do you like chicken? Sorry, I haven't got any, how about a %%$*?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]I think that we might be related. Let me check for the family birthmark on your chest.[/td] [/tr][tr][td](Look down at your crotch) It's not just going to suck itself.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]I'm a writer, you're a writer, how about we get naked together and put some poetry in motion?[/td] [/tr][tr][td](Hold up a screw) Wanna screw?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Do you want to come over to my place and feed your beaver some wood?[/td] [/tr][tr][td][What are you doing?] I'm taking off my shoes. [Why?] So I can take off my pants.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]How about you be my story and I'll be your climax![/td] [/tr][tr][td]"I have this magic watch that can actually talk to me. Seriously, it's saying something right now. It says that you're not wearing any underwear, is that true?." [No.] "Oh wait, my watch is an hour fast![/td] [/tr][tr][td]I like your hair, your eyes, your smile... I like every bone in your body... Especially mine![/td] [/tr][tr][td]Do you sleep on your stomach? [No] Can I?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Lets play "Titanic." When I say "Iceburg!" you do down.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Do you believe guys think with their ****? (Yeah.) Well, in that case, will you blow my mind?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Smile. It is the second best thing you can do with your lips.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Don't you think most people who use pick-up lines are dipsticks? (Yes.) In that case, mind if I check your oil level?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Your shirt has to go, but you can stay.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Would you like to actively engage in mock procreation?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]I'm easy. Are you?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Could you do me a favor? Could you get on your knees and smile like a donut?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]This is a condom. If we put it on, we can have sex.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]I WANT SEX! Sorry, the doctor said that would help....[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Do you believe in free love? [No] Then how much do you cost?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Hey baby, I'll %$+@ you so well the NEIGHBORS will be having a cigarette when we're done.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Want to make a porno? We don't have to tape it.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Let's not mess with nature. We are here to make babies. So, let's get to it.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]I don't know you, and you don't know me, but who's to say it's wrong if we sleep together?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Is it that cold out or are you just smuggling tic-tac's in your bra?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]I just popped a Viagra. So, we've got about 30 minutes to get back to your place.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]I think that pick-up lines are for people with to much time on their hands. Let's just %$+@.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]You have a beautiful voice. I bet it would sound even better muffled by my penis.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]If you can dance, you have my hand, but if you can sing, you have my heart. I hope to God you can't sing because I just wanna %$+@ you.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Hi. I'm gay, think you can convert me?[/td] [/tr][tr][td] I'm the finger down your spine when all the lights go out.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]If I'm a pain in your !*#... We can just add more lubricants.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Life is short. Let's %$+@ and see if there is anything after that.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Let me eat you for an hour. If you don't want to have sex after that, we won't.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]All those curves, and me with no brakes.[/td] [/tr][tr][td](give the person a bottle of tequila) Drink this, then call me when you're ready.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Hi, will you help me find my lost puppy? I think he went into this cheap motel room across the street.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]I'm trying to determine after years of therapy and lots of testing, whether or not I'm allergic to sex.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Walk into her chest) "If they weren't sooo large, it wouldn't have happened.[/td] [/tr][tr][td]I have the entire dictionary written on my ****. Want me to put some words in your mouth??[/td] [/tr][tr][td]The FBI wants to steal my penis. Can I hide it inside you?[/td] [/tr][tr][td]Are those space pants? Cuz your !*# is out of this world![/td][/tr][/table]
[/td][/tr][/table]
