Real Talk, do you actually know a positive woman that isnt related to you?

Originally Posted by versache530

i'm not saying that they are illegitimate degrees, i'm saying that most of the people that major in them don't do anything with them. me and my girls are out there doing something with what we went to school for. that's all i'm saying.

any yes, a lot of "doin it" chicks are busted. me an my girls aren't busted, by any means. now i'm not gonna front and act like we are all dimes, but we are not busted. 7's and 8's. the point of my OP was to say that a lot of men just don't measure up. and unreachable standards don't have anything to do with it. all we meet are men that want to come live with us, want to use our cars, or don't want to spend the money to take us out. how about having your own home? not saying you have to be a home owner, but have somewhere that is yours. men think spending money to take a girl out is absurd in this day and age. i spend money to take myself out, so why can't you? that's my lifestyle, so if we are together, it's crazy for me to take a step back because said guy doesnt want to get with the program. i don't sit in the house when i'm not involved, so why should i do it because im dealing with you and you don't think i'm worth spending money on. if i'm not worth it, then why are you with me? and i'm not the type of chick that expects lavish gifts or to be taken out 3 or 4 times a week. but every night can't be a blockbuster night. i'm sorry. and i know someone is gonna say that it's gold digger thinking but really it's not. i say that if you can't do for me what i can do for myself, then i don't need you.

and it's not so much about money. a relationship is 50/50. people think that 50/50 means everything is split down the middle but that's not the case. not we take turns buying dinner, or take turns washing the dishes. NO. it means you play your role and i play mine to make up 100% of the relationship. for example. if we are married or living together: i have no problem cooking, washing the dishes, cleaning up, washing clothes, doing the ironing, buying groceries etc. that's what a woman does. but a man has to take out the trash, cut some grass, pay the majority of the bills, fix stuff. Why? because i'm doing everything else. i'm doing what a woman is supposed to do. and if a man that i'm with doesn't like that, then we need to discuss it and work something else out.

a man's role is to protect and provide. but SOME men want to only do the latter when it's convenient for them to do so. if you are the man and are the head of the household, then be that. i have no problem with that. i can submit. but not when a man wants to pick and choose which head of the houshold duties he wants to take on.

im interested in y'alls thoughts. discuss........
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Alright here we go.

So let me get this straight. You have a college degree, have a home, have a car, and make over $70,000. That part is fact. No arguing there. Now you also say you are attractive (7 or 8 is attractive), and you are humble and down to earth. If you really have all these qualities, and you still can't get a "decent" guy, then something isn't adding up. Which means it's either on your attractiveness or your attitude. I'm not going to doubt your appearance, if you're attractive and you know it, you know it.

What I think the issue is, is with your attitude. Tell me, why is it only chumps are approaching you? Because if these really are chumps, then something must be up with you. You must come across as easy, or "their type". But I doubt it. Something tells me that these are normal people approaching you, but you blow them off cause they don't fit your standard.

Here's something you should think about: If only losers are coming to you, why aren't any "good" men coming up to you? Step back and look at yourself. If I'm playing hoops and all the kids who suck want me on their team, yet all the real ballers don't, what does that say about ME?

But like I said, I don't think you're only being approached by scrubs. Here's why: You basically just laid out an entire game plan that you expect the man to follow. You have your demands and you aren't about to compromise on any of them. Basically, you're calling the shots. And guess what? No man wants to enter a relationship where he's obeying the chicks' demands down to a T. If you want to bring up traditional gender roles into your relationship, then how about you include the one where the man is the ruler of the house? If the man is expected to do this and this, then remember that back in the old days the man was the one calling the shots and you there to obey him.

Relationships are about compromise. If you enter a relationship demanding that all these things be done, no one is going to stick around.

Based on YOUR description, you're the perfect woman. You're attractive, humble and have your material game set. Most men would do anything for that. But if men aren't coming to you, maybe you aren't as perfect as you're making yourself sound.
 
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*waits for reply w/popcorn
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*snatches a handful of whyhellothere's popcorn when he isn't looking and sits down Indian style*
 
Originally Posted by versache530

Originally Posted by I AM THAT DUDE

More typical NT chauvinist bs, and ironically most of it comes from black men. You know black women graduate college at a 12% higher clip, right? You can further add incarceration rates, graduation, and unemployment and it would seem likely that there must be positive women out there. Or we can be antisocial, chauvinist, prone to lying weirdos who struggle with the opposite sex and blame it on them rather than look inward, or just pursue perfect white women.
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Word. ^
me and all my girls are some bad bisshes. college degrees. i'm talking logistics, finance, information systems, business mgmt.  not art or dance or history. legitimate degrees. all home owners making 70+. humble, down to earth. nice looking, drive nice cars.

but yet we can't find men that we are equally yoked with. and no, we aren't stuck up !*!@@#.so if you guys are all that you say you are, you all must be hanging with the wrong crowd if you can't find a quality girl.  if there are so many good dudes out there, then why can't we seem to find them. like ^ said, yall need to step back and take a look at yourselves. maybe you all just don't measure up.

i'm just sayin.......
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Stop reading after that..
 
I don't think there is anything wrong with what she said. She shouldn't be personally attacked for it when a man like DC will say he ain't paying for no woman and that's final. Or when other guys will say they can't find reasonable women who meet their expectations.
 
Originally Posted by scshift

Originally Posted by versache530

i'm not saying that they are illegitimate degrees, i'm saying that most of the people that major in them don't do anything with them. me and my girls are out there doing something with what we went to school for. that's all i'm saying.

any yes, a lot of "doin it" chicks are busted. me an my girls aren't busted, by any means. now i'm not gonna front and act like we are all dimes, but we are not busted. 7's and 8's. the point of my OP was to say that a lot of men just don't measure up. and unreachable standards don't have anything to do with it. all we meet are men that want to come live with us, want to use our cars, or don't want to spend the money to take us out. how about having your own home? not saying you have to be a home owner, but have somewhere that is yours. men think spending money to take a girl out is absurd in this day and age. i spend money to take myself out, so why can't you? that's my lifestyle, so if we are together, it's crazy for me to take a step back because said guy doesnt want to get with the program. i don't sit in the house when i'm not involved, so why should i do it because im dealing with you and you don't think i'm worth spending money on. if i'm not worth it, then why are you with me? and i'm not the type of chick that expects lavish gifts or to be taken out 3 or 4 times a week. but every night can't be a blockbuster night. i'm sorry. and i know someone is gonna say that it's gold digger thinking but really it's not. i say that if you can't do for me what i can do for myself, then i don't need you.

and it's not so much about money. a relationship is 50/50. people think that 50/50 means everything is split down the middle but that's not the case. not we take turns buying dinner, or take turns washing the dishes. NO. it means you play your role and i play mine to make up 100% of the relationship. for example. if we are married or living together: i have no problem cooking, washing the dishes, cleaning up, washing clothes, doing the ironing, buying groceries etc. that's what a woman does. but a man has to take out the trash, cut some grass, pay the majority of the bills, fix stuff. Why? because i'm doing everything else. i'm doing what a woman is supposed to do. and if a man that i'm with doesn't like that, then we need to discuss it and work something else out.

a man's role is to protect and provide. but SOME men want to only do the latter when it's convenient for them to do so. if you are the man and are the head of the household, then be that. i have no problem with that. i can submit. but not when a man wants to pick and choose which head of the houshold duties he wants to take on.

im interested in y'alls thoughts. discuss........
Click to expand...

Alright here we go.

So let me get this straight. You have a college degree, have a home, have a car, and make over $70,000. That part is fact. No arguing there. Now you also say you are attractive (7 or 8 is attractive), and you are humble and down to earth. If you really have all these qualities, and you still can't get a "decent" guy, then something isn't adding up. Which means it's either on your attractiveness or your attitude. I'm not going to doubt your appearance, if you're attractive and you know it, you know it.

What I think the issue is, is with your attitude. Tell me, why is it only chumps are approaching you? Because if these really are chumps, then something must be up with you. You must come across as easy, or "their type". But I doubt it. Something tells me that these are normal people approaching you, but you blow them off cause they don't fit your standard.

Here's something you should think about: If only losers are coming to you, why aren't any "good" men coming up to you? Step back and look at yourself. If I'm playing hoops and all the kids who suck want me on their team, yet all the real ballers don't, what does that say about ME?

But like I said, I don't think you're only being approached by scrubs. Here's why: You basically just laid out an entire game plan that you expect the man to follow. You have your demands and you aren't about to compromise on any of them. Basically, you're calling the shots. And guess what? No man wants to enter a relationship where he's obeying the chicks' demands down to a T. If you want to bring up traditional gender roles into your relationship, then how about you include the one where the man is the ruler of the house? If the man is expected to do this and this, then remember that back in the old days the man was the one calling the shots and you there to obey him.

Relationships are about compromise. If you enter a relationship demanding that all these things be done, no one is going to stick around.

Based on YOUR description, you're the perfect woman. You're attractive, humble and have your material game set. Most men would do anything for that. But if men aren't coming to you, maybe you aren't as perfect as you're making yourself sound.
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did you read my entire post. i said, i have no problem with the man being the head. i am willing to let him be that. but he is going to have to BE THAT. and not pick and choose when it's convinent. in the mean time, yes, i'm gonna do me.

and no, i NEVER said i was perfect, but i do know what i have going from me. attitude is not an issue. i'm the most cool, calm, and collected person you could ever meet. i get along with the majority of people. both men and women. that's not an issue.

i was planning on coming back and typing a different message until i read your response. I would like to know what's up with men being intimidated by women that are "doin it"? i've heard this several times by guys that are friends. when i speak to them on the subject, they say men are intimidated by women like me. what's up with that. so i ask, so you want a chick that doesn't have herself together? you all want a chick working at mcdonalds? the response i get is: as long as she is working towards something then that's cool. so my question is you all like a work in progress? so once she has made it, then you all get intimidated? give me some insight on that please. or is this not true at all?

and no, not only scrubs come up to me. in the mix you have: men that are fine and know it, so they don't think they have to do anything. they think i'm supposed to be all on their tip just because they are fine. obese and out of shape but i drive a benz (like i care). mr. player who wants me to be one of many.  and i'll be honest. i am tall, so that does become a factor for me at least. i can't say the same for my friends. so some guys might be cool but they are 5'6. i mean, you dont have to be 6'5", but damn....

compared to some other people i know, my standards aren't so high. this one chick i know, she says for a man to marry her, she needs 5 carats, a condo in downtown Atlanta, and a range rover. and she is dead serious. my standards are no where near that, so come up with some other reasons. i'm interested in what you have to say.



  
 
Originally Posted by scshift

Originally Posted by versache530

i'm not saying that they are illegitimate degrees, i'm saying that most of the people that major in them don't do anything with them. me and my girls are out there doing something with what we went to school for. that's all i'm saying.
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Alright here we go.
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and no i didn't lay out my demands. that was an example of 50/50. and 50/50 can be a plethora of thing. my point was to say that 50/50 is not as simple as splitting things down the middle in a conventional way as how you would split a pizza down the middle.

yes compromise is they key. i said that. did you not read it?
 
Originally Posted by versache530

did you read my entire post. i said, i have no problem with the man being the head. i am willing to let him be that. but he is going to have to BE THAT. and not pick and choose when it's convinent. in the mean time, yes, i'm gonna do me.

and no, i NEVER said i was perfect, but i do know what i have going from me. attitude is not an issue. i'm the most cool, calm, and collected person you could ever meet. i get along with the majority of people. both men and women. that's not an issue.

i was planning on coming back and typing a different message until i read your response. I would like to know what's up with men being intimidated by women that are "doin it"? i've heard this several times by guys that are friends. when i speak to them on the subject, they say men are intimidated by women like me. what's up with that. so i ask, so you want a chick that doesn't have herself together? you all want a chick working at mcdonalds? the response i get is: as long as she is working towards something then that's cool. so my question is you all like a work in progress? so once she has made it, then you all get intimidated? give me some insight on that please. or is this not true at all?

and no, not only scrubs come up to me. in the mix you have: men that are fine and know it, so they don't think they have to do anything. they think i'm supposed to be all on their tip just because they are fine. obese and out of shape but i drive a benz (like i care). mr. player who wants me to be one of many.  and i'll be honest. i am tall, so that does become a factor for me at least. i can't say the same for my friends. so some guys might be cool but they are 5'6. i mean, you dont have to be 6'5", but damn....

compared to some other people i know, my standards aren't so high. this one chick i know, she says for a man to marry her, she needs 5 carats, a condo in downtown Atlanta, and a range rover. and she is dead serious. my standards are no where near that, so come up with some other reasons. i'm interested in what you have to say.
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First off, let me just say that I'm not attacking you or criticizing your beliefs. Everyone has standards and things they are looking for in the opposite gender. I do too.

Some men are intimidated by women who are successful. They think that cause you're so well-packaged and have it all that they become expendable. I don't agree, I want my woman to have a solid salary, be attractive, smart and down to earth.

You still don't get what I'm trying to say. I don't mean the men who are coming up to you are losers, but they aren't the "perfect" man in your book. You don't think they're appropriate for what you want to be dealing with. Because this whole argument is ambiguous since none of us exactly know what you're looking for in a man, please include that in your next post. That way we can see how relaxed or outrageous they really are.

You missed my analogy, too. I'm not trying to gas you up or say you're something that you're not, but what you're saying right now makes you a perfect woman in a huge majority of men's eyes. There are a few outliers, but almost every man wants a girl who is successful, attractive and humble. You might not view yourself as perfect, but keep in mind that is pretty much the ultimate combination that every man is looking for.

Which brings me back to the original point. If you're as made as you are, there is no excuse why you shouldn't have a decent man. Don't throw out that BS that all men are trash. That is stupid, whether people say that for men or women. There are excellent women in this world, just like how they are excellent men. So if you are getting approached by just people who you aren't feeling, then maybe the guys who you do like just aren't feeling you. That's not a knock, cause you never know what other people like. But if you've been up and down life and you still haven't found a good man or even met one, then that one is on you.

I assume you get out a lot cause you say you get approached by quite some men. Well then like I said, did you ever ask yourself why the "perfect" man isn't coming up to you? And I put perfect in quotations because I just mean a man who, like you, is supposedly successful, attractive and humble.

Oh, and your friend, she isn't holding standards, she is just being delusional. She better be a supermodel to be demanding stuff like that, cause it's evident her thinking is skewed. But don't compare yourself to ridiculous outliers. Compare yourself to the norm.

Please address the parts I bolded in my previous response, because that is what I'm trying to figure out.
 
This is an easy one:

I apologize if I hurt feelings but it is what it is and sometimes the truth hurts.

Life is all about common denominators and placing other things in such place to get answers.

If all you are attracting is losers and chumps...babe, you are not that good looking.

Guys are all about physical appearance. Chicks just can't cope with that...or maybe they do and its why they are so insecure on appearance.

If you are making 70gs a year...great car, educated, good attitude...and still struggle to find a quality dude, you can't be that great looking. Common denominate that equation. You make Meagan Goode an everyday girl...not famous at all...give that chick a 70k salary, great whip, college diploma, and a good attitude...this chick would get a cat to marry her 5 times if he could.

Like I said...I'm not being harsh or trying to hurt feelings but that's life.

So maybe you need to recheck what you perceive you are and accept guys who may realistically be on the level your looks deserve.

Or you can stay single.
 
Originally Posted by 4Shoposite

If you are making 70gs a year...great car, educated, good attitude...you can't be that great looking. Common denominate that equation. You make Meagan Goode an everyday girl...not famous at all...give that chick a 70k salary, great whip, college diploma, and a good attitude...this chick would get a cat to marry her 5 times if he could.
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That's exactly what I'm trying to say.

If you can't find a guy to marry you with those qualities, either your appearance or your personality must be off.
 
Originally Posted by MPLSdunk

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ya'll act like 70k is so unreachable.  jeezus have some motivation.
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Yea, it's great pay, but its not 6 figures or anything.

My boy dad was like after college it's best to join professional organizations because when you go to conferences you meet alot of Chicks that are making moves, he met his new wife at one, she is an HR manager for Turner.
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Ayo, versace Ive seen like 4 of your posts and "humble" is the last word that comes to mind.
 
yes, unfortuanetly she's in Ohio and i'm in MD. we'll find a way to make it happen tho. never met another woman like her.
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Yeah, probably about a dozen. More if I sought them out.

Where do you live where you've become so cynical or that there are so few ppl around you that are actually genuinely positive, nice, and sets a good example, where you can hold a balanced conversation with them?
 
Originally Posted by ATGD7154xBBxMZ

Yeah, probably about a dozen. More if I sought them out.

Where do you live where you've become so cynical or that there are so few ppl around you that are actually genuinely positive, nice, and sets a good example, where you can hold a balanced conversation with them?
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Man come to Atlanta, so many superficial women. City is being over ran by 2 types of women. You got the Nicki Minaj created character %%+++$, that don't work, just hop sugar daddy to sugar daddy. then you got your "I`m independent" Stuck up "My daddy paid for me to go to Spelman outta pocket" chicks that whip BMWs, that give the exterior presentation that they are on it, but mentally are loony.
 
Who said ist unreachable? Its a little more above average...and its a figure that wouldn't get laughed at or frowned on. The point was to make everything as balanced as possible so it wouldn't take away from the real answer: physical appearance.

Now I'm not saying downgrade your standards to a cat living in a missions downtown but instead of trying to find a dude better than you (which all chicks do)...find someone maybe pulling in 40k maybe less with a good head on his shoulder. Chicks will be surprised how focus a guy will get in improving his life for his potential future family's sake if he falls in love with a girl.


If you remain single beyond that...you are just choosing to be alone. No other way to look at it.
 
Baby girl is acting like 70k is scarey and dudes is to shook or can't compete money, girl no! I'b be in your house with flip flops and lollipops. I'm dating a girl right now with a brand new beamer, makes 80k and is boring and unoringinal as hell. Money and accomplishments don't mean jack +#%! to people unless they are broke themselves or just trife. I won't say you are ugly because dudes will smash anything anyway, but I'm willing to bet my nuttsack you have a bad temperment or are semi sadity and put off that energy without realizing it.
 
Yea, I know a good amount of them, but that doesn't mean they are all quality women. Positive as far as having jobs and stuff, but some are jumpoffs/have issues/attitudes/etc.

I've only met a few great women in my lifetime. I can count them on one hand.
 
Originally Posted by cguy610

Yea, I know a good amount of them, but that doesn't mean they are all quality women. Positive as far as having jobs and stuff, but some are jumpoffs/have issues/attitudes/etc.

I've only met a few great women in my lifetime. I can count them on one hand.
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Truth and regardless like somebody said earlier most dudes don't care bout what you making as long as you not super loser status and or a JO esp if he's doing it himself. I don't know why girls don't understand most guys don't look at their accomplishments like they look at ours.
 
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