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DONT DO IT BRO....THE WORLD NEEDS YOU, YOU JUST DONT REALISE IT YET!!!
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sometimes you just gotta stay strong
life may be difficult at times "when it rains it pours"
but your the only one who can change the "your own outcome"
 
if thats what you think will take the pain away then do it...I wouldnt myself but im not in your position. tell your parents how you feel and if they get youhelp it shows they still care for you, if not then they dont $@ with you. are you even alive?
 
Originally Posted by RO RO 8

Seriously, my life sucks. First, my mother always wanted a daughter. I was an unplanned pregnancy. I was conceived in September 1990 and born June 1991. My mother was having difficulty with her boyfriend, and turned to my father for help. They ended up having me. My mother was a heavy smoker, but she said she stopped smoking when she conceived me, and started back up after she had me. I call BS on that because I was born with a heart murmur. Anyway, my grandma had a daughter November of 1993. (I know, weird. Well she was 43.) My grandmother was always busy, and my mother would take care of her daughter. My mother adores her, and to this day favors her. My mom makes a lot more money than my grandma, so my grandma can't give her daughter what my mother can. Today, I am 17, and I am on my own. I go to high school, work a full time job, and a part time job. I do not live with my mentally abusive mother. My mother doesn't do anything for me, yet she gives money to my aunt (my grandma's young daughter) whenever she needs it, which is typically ~$50-60 per week.
Throughout school, I have ALWAYS made honor roll, with the exception of the first marking period of 7th grade. I have a SAT score of 1900. I was always a well behaved young boy, yet my mother seemed to resent me. The other girl is the biggest smart !%% ever, very disrespectful and ungrateful, and does mediocre at best in school.
The reason I am on my own is because my mother was mentally abusive to me, to the point where it became physical. She threw a glass dish at my face that required me to get 7 stitches. After I forgave her, she was more mentally abusive and I pushed her to get her away from me, and she threw all of my stuff out. I ran away from home. She found my car and took everything from it (plates, registration, insurance) and she won't give me the title for it. So I have a car that I can't drive.
I have an uncle who hates me because of the stuff my mother put him through. I laid him out in the middle off the street a couple of weeks ago and got arrested. Charges were dropped tho.
I have a warrant in PA for not turning in a suspended license.
My father doesn't give a damn about me. I found him last year after not seeing him since I was 5. All I ever get is excuses. He supports his 4 other kids, yet when I go to him, he is broke, or doesn't have time for me.
I don't know what to do, or where to turn. I am always depressed, and I have anger problems. I do very well in school and I pride myself in getting the best grades possible, yet I've been arrested/cited several times. I'm sorry if I'm ranting here. Most of you people here don't care and will suggest that I /myself. I cry myself to sleep every night because I am living a life that sucks. I look at myself in the mirror and shake my head and ask #!! did i do wrong. i feel like i don't deserve what i get.


Cliffs:
-my mother wanted a girl and resents me
-abused by my mother
-currently abandoned by my mother and father and family
-depression/anger problems
-17 and on my own
-life sucks
-seriously considering offing myself
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I got half way through this post and stopped reading it. It seems to me that you got off to a rough start but that you are WELL on your way to amedaling the competition in the end IF you keep up the effort.. If you seriously feel the need to cut your race short, DO IT. Don't talk about it, BE aboutit. But since we both know you you don't (you would have done it already...duh), stop pretending you do. So don't waste any more of or time... thatmeans yours and mine.... talking about $*%% you are not about in reality. Because with that said, I've seen wayworse scenarios get played out successfully in the end. So if this is your lil cry for help, stop crying and help yourself. So far, you've done exceptionally well and I commend you for it. Keep it up, good luck, and remember, it rainsEVERYWHERE on EVERYBODY under the sun. But if you look at the rain from the right perspective, you might just get tosee the rainbow.
 
don't do it man...suicide is not the way out i wanted to commit suicide when i was younger but im glad i didnt because my life keeps gettingbetter, you are going through a rough patch right now all i can say is find someone to talk to things will get better

pm me if you need someone to talk to
 
You have to realize that people have made it through worse situations than yours. It's tough, but look at what you do have.
Kid you have two jobs during a recession when millions of people in this country can't find one. You're already out of the situation
with your family physically, you've just got to give the mental wounds time to heal. You have great grades in school and lots of self motivation which arethe keys to success. And on top of all that you have the internet...the internet for GOD sakes. My suggestion would be to get involved in a good church. You will never find a perfect one, but there will be a spiritual family their that will help you get through all of this. There's nothing like having thelove of Christ in your life. You have a bright future ahead of you, don't waste it on the things that you've already escaped from the past.
 
Dont off yourself man. If you're doing well in school, then use that to further yourself. The better you are at the better you;ll be in life down the road.
 
that was too much to read. don't do it. jsut keep working hard and be successful it's the best way to gt back at someone.
 
wow at some of the people in here telling u to do such a thing. what if he did it? then there'd be some thread about a 17 year old committed suicide, and awhole bunch of SMH emoticoms floating around throughout the thread.
OP i dont know you, but i do know there is always a way out and /yourself is not the answer.talk to a counselor or reach out to a friend or even a suicideline. yes we don't always get the families we feel we deserve and perhaps your hardships are more than you feel you can bare, but don't give up onlife. if you're as smart as you say you are you can probably get a scholarship to a good college and put all this stuff behind you. your story sounds a lotlike Antoine Fisher's and now look at him. maybe you should write a book, seriously. but please don't think the only way out is taking yourself out.
 
Originally Posted by Classy Freshman

Hmmmmm...

This is my opinion... pure speculation.

I met you and your mother on a few occasions for meet-ups, and she came off as VERY supportive of you. If I can remember she purchased some of the shoes for you because she said you were a good kid and you got good grades. Plus if I remember, she did drive you to my house which is about 20-30 minutes from where you live.

Listen... there are going to be some things that your parents say or do that we don't understand while we are young. You are at an age where you may have gotten rebelious or think you are independent enough that you don't have to listen to her, and maybe thats how the friction started. Now like I said that is pure speculation... but your mother seemed like a genuinely good woman with your best interests as her priority. I used to think my mother was mentaly abusive for some of the things she would say to me or make me do. She also used to punch me in the face. But as I got older I understood her angle and now I appreciate it. It wasn't abuse but a lesson in life. Your mother is supposed to be hard on you especially because your father is gone, and because she wants the best for you. Talk to her, try to reconcile. But offing yourself??? Come on now thats just dumb.

Like I said, maybe I am wrong. If I am wrong and she really is a bad woman and you really want revenge, let me get at her. Your mom's could get it and every time we met up, she looked at me with a little twinkle in her eye. I'm not even kidding. I'll splack on her then I will play with her emotions. That might not phase her though because I could tell she is an old head with a little Staten Island swag and she might know the deal. But I'll do that for you. I mean I hope it wouldn't have to come to that, but you are a good kid and I'd rather help you in any way than to have you off yourself.

So where do you live now? PM me if you want to chat for real. And when you turn 18 I could line up a bad broad for you, free of charge. As a matter of fact, if you still go to Parkland maybe I could link you up with the young boy Jaleel. He is like a GOD out there and I'm sure he can get you into something. Well let me know.
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Kyle, I completely understand where you are coming from. However, my meet-ups with you were in 2007. I was 15 when we met. The money that I usedto buy the Jordan1s package was scholarship money that was returned to me from my private school I used to go to in New York, before moving to PA. Also, if youremember, when we planned to meet up for the true blue spiz'ikes, I cancelled our meet, and ended up buying them myself at the spot. This is because rightbefore I was going to meet up with you, my mother had finished beating the crap out of me for asking her when she was leaving, as we had a specific time wewere supposed to meet up. In reference to my mother talking to you about me being a good kid, my mother is the biggest fake and hypocrite in the world. She canput on an act for anyone. She hates her mother-in-law with a PASSION, yet when she comes over, my mother makes her feel right at home, and waits for her toleave to vent her dislike towards her. My mother is extremely immoral.
Unfortunately, I don't go to Parkland, I'm back in Staten Island living on my own, going to school and working my @*% off. I know who Jaleel is,you're talking about Jaleel Clark, right?
 
Originally Posted by saymoregotsole

Life is so short it will end before you know it...naturally. So keep living man there's a lot waiting for you.
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Word. It's Always darkest before dawn, son.
 
If you are truly ready to die, then you have No ties to bind you. If you have No ties, there are no consequences to your actions and your future does notrequire planning. If you are serious about dying then things such as fear and doubt are now irrellevent to you. Before you take the leap into the great unknownof death, whynot first walk away from everything you know and see what you find? Pick a highway and walk down it. Hop on a train car and ride it. Get hiredonto a ship and leave at any port you think might be interesting and wander strange lands. If you are ready to die, then simply walking away is not a huge stepfor you. There is absolutely no reason to not at least try it first. Afterall, whats the worst that could happen to you? Perhaps having nothing to lose couldend up setting you free. Most people live their entire lives enslaved to constructs they create for themselves. You apparently are prepared to rid yourself ofsuch concerns so you should attempt to make abandoning your life work in your favour for you first. You have nothing to lose.
 
Originally Posted by Shpat

If you are truly ready to die, then you have No ties to bind you. If you have No ties, there are no consequences to your actions and your future does not require planning. If you are serious about dying then things such as fear and doubt are now irrellevent to you. Before you take the leap into the great unknown of death, whynot first walk away from everything you know and see what you find? Pick a highway and walk down it. Hop on a train car and ride it. Get hired onto a ship and leave at any port you think might be interesting and wander strange lands. If you are ready to die, then simply walking away is not a huge step for you. There is absolutely no reason to not at least try it first. Afterall, whats the worst that could happen to you? Perhaps having nothing to lose could end up setting you free. Most people live their entire lives enslaved to constructs they create for themselves. You apparently are prepared to rid yourself of such concerns so you should attempt to make abandoning your life work in your favour for you first. You have nothing to lose.
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that is one of the most insightful things i've ever read on NT, OP should trythis. if you are contemplating suicide, then why not suicide in the sense that everybody you knew thinks you are dead. you can do that by just up & leaving& never coming back. you can start a new life without any of the old baggage
 
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