Crazy stories from your job.

[jayjunkie]

My first job was at Target and I worked in the market section. One day, I hear a call on the radio saying there was cleanup in market. I was in the back, grabbing some milk & eggs to stock on the floor and probably through some idiot dropped some milk or something and didn't think much of it. Later on my break, the janitor asked if market still smelled. I was like naw, wsup? Apparently some lady couldn't hold her bowels and went #2 in a couple of the aisle. The janitor thought it was a dog doo doo because he said it was like little black pebbles. People werent paying attention and walking over it, running over it with their carts. A chick that worked in clothing confirmed it was a lady because she had to get her new drawers. After the whole episode, the clothing chick said she continued shopping with no dambs given and checked out.

 

[mitchellicious]

My first job was at Target and I worked in the market section. One day, I hear a call on the radio saying there was cleanup in market. I was in the back, grabbing some milk & eggs to stock on the floor and probably through some idiot dropped some milk or something and didn't think much of it. Later on my break, the janitor asked if market still smelled. I was like naw, wsup? Apparently some lady couldn't hold her bowels and went #2 in a couple of the aisle. The janitor thought it was a dog doo doo because he said it was like little black pebbles. People werent paying attention and walking over it, running over it with their carts. A chick that worked in clothing confirmed it was a lady because she had to get her new drawers. After the whole episode, the clothing chick said she continued shopping with no dambs given and checked out.

A girl I used to date had a similar story. She used to work at K-Mart and one day this old lady came up to her register and tried to pay with dollar bills covered in poo. She had an extremely weak stomach, so she immediately starts vomiting into a garbage bin under register. The manager walked over and was like "What is going on here? WHAT IS THAT SMELL?!" The old lady stared at the manager with a huge smile on her face holding this poop money in her hands. The manager asked her to leave and she did with no hassles.

The manager takes my girl from the register out back and they watch the camera footage of this old lady. She was hanging around the women's clothing section the whole time, so they check there first. As soon as they enter the section, they see this log just chilling in the center of a dress rack. This girl vomits again and the manager is like "AWW HELL NAH!" and got two of the young kids that worked there to clean it up and let them go home early for doing so

The best part of the story is that about 3 hours later my girl went back to her register and answered a phone call. The lady on the other end was like "Do you remember me? I was there earlier. I just want to know if you've found all of the poo yet"

 

[philthethrill21]

A girl I used to date had a similar story. She used to work at K-Mart and one day this old lady came up to her register and tried to pay with dollar bills covered in poo. She had an extremely weak stomach, so she immediately starts vomiting into a garbage bin under register. The manager walked over and was like "What is going on here? WHAT IS THAT SMELL?!" The old lady stared at the manager with a huge smile on her face holding this poop money in her hands. The manager asked her to leave and she did with no hassles.

The manager takes my girl from the register out back and they watch the camera footage of this old lady. She was hanging around the women's clothing section the whole time, so they check there first. As soon as they enter the section, they see this log just chilling in the center of a dress rack. This girl vomits again

and the manager is like "AWW HELL NAH!" and got two of the young kids that worked there to clean it up and let them go home early for doing so

The best part of the story is that about 3 hours later my girl went back to her register and answered a phone call. The lady on the other end was like "Do you remember me? I was there earlier. I just want to know if you've found all of the poo yet"

ayooooo this is pure evil hahahaha

 

[beezylocks]

The airplane bathroom story, has had me in tears for a while, wow, comedy....

We need more info like what happened after

 

[rex ryan]

When I was 17-18, I worked at this jersey store during the peak of the jersey fad. U had a coworker who was in his early 30's that provided some of the most hilarious and disgusting moments I've ever seen. Dude had a few screws loose and ultimately got fired for fighting a customer but he did way worse.

This guy was a die hard Laker fan to the point of obsession. He also hated the Sacramento kings, San Antonio spurs, Oakland raiders, and 49ers. This is where things get disgusting.

He told me one day that he wiped his butt with Sacramento jerseys. I laugh it off thinking he's joking. He told me to smell one of the bibby jerseys we had and I did and ill never forget the smell I smelt. It reeked of death, poo, and dirty unwiped booty.

At this point I'm disgusted and shocked at the same time and am thinking this dude is crazy.

Fast forward to the day after the spurs eliminate the lakers from the 03 playoffs. People are buying spurs stuff and he's damn near violating each and every one of them calling them every name in the book and telling them they could go outside and handle things.

Later that day he talks all the spurs stuff to the back, Mitchell and ness, authentics, swingmans, replicas, and kids jerseys and he's in the back for about 2 hours. He comes out with this twisted grin and pulls his pants up and says "inventory has been finished". He wiped his butt with every spurs jersey in the store.

Some lady bought a jersey and came back to the store screaming the next day talking about how it stunk and the guy that was real rude to her probably did something to it. She took the jersey out the bag and it reeked.

This guy would put boggers on the jerseys of annoying customers that got him mad and got into countless arguments while he was there and never got fired.

The worst part was, we had these beer mugs and coffee mugs in the store. This guy would pee in the raider mugs and he took a dump in one of the mugs. He told me and my coworker to check the suprise out in the bathroom. It was a log of poop just staring at us from one of those raiders beer mugs. This dude would put extra stickers on the mugs he did stuff to and make sure to sell them to customers.

I remember during laker games or USC football games he would just stand by the tv and scream at it and tell customers to leave him alone because he was watching the game.

I got annoyed with this so I left the store and walked around the mall for an hour and when I got back he was flipping out about how I left and he had to work instead of watch the game.

Funniest thing ever was when Kobe caught that rape charge he sold all his Kobe jerseys because in his words "he had morals" and "couldn't support Kobe".

Fast forward to right after Christmas, a customer tries to return and item, words were exchanged, he ended up punching the customer In the face, clocking out and leaving and never came back.

But yeah he was defenitely crazy and screwed up in the head. He was a big dude too and he had me shook at times off some of the stuff he said.

Its other stuff he did that I'm tryig to remember but damn dude was a straight nut

 

[00david00]

dead at selling the kobe jerseys b/c of his morals

 

[jumpmanpro97]

A girl I used to date had a similar story. She used to work at K-Mart and one day this old lady came up to her register and tried to pay with dollar bills covered in poo. She had an extremely weak stomach, so she immediately starts vomiting into a garbage bin under register. The manager walked over and was like "What is going on here? WHAT IS THAT SMELL?!" The old lady stared at the manager with a huge smile on her face holding this poop money in her hands. The manager asked her to leave and she did with no hassles.

The manager takes my girl from the register out back and they watch the camera footage of this old lady. She was hanging around the women's clothing section the whole time, so they check there first. As soon as they enter the section, they see this log just chilling in the center of a dress rack. This girl vomits again and the manager is like "AWW HELL NAH!" and got two of the young kids that worked there to clean it up and let them go home early for doing so

The best part of the story is that about 3 hours later my girl went back to her register and answered a phone call. The lady on the other end was like "Do you remember me? I was there earlier. I just want to know if you've found all of the poo yet"

LOL this story reminded me of when I used to work at a clothing store back in college. There's some sick people out there. Pretty much had a lady that tried on a bunch of outfits in one of the fitting rooms. One of my co workers comes out of the fitting rooms screaming her lungs out. So the rest of staff heads to the fitting rooms to see what was going on. She says, "go look in fitting room 2." So me, assistant manager and manager all go to open the door and look to see what was inside. I guess the lady that was in there took a dump and peed on all the clothes she had just tried on! Me and the assistant manager were like WTF. The manager was like I've seen this happen before, these people have some illness where its like "IF I CAN'T HAVE IT NO ONE CAN." Mofo's tried to make me clean that mess up since I just started working there. I called up mall maintenance/cleaning and had them clean it lol
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When I was a teenager I was working at this little ice cream cart at the mall. This couple makes an order the girl is black and her boyfriend was white. After they finished ordering I said, "Will that be all? Are you guys together?" The black girl goes on a huge rant. "You know its 2001 I can date a white man, and he can date a black girl! So what if we're dating?"

My reply was "I was just asking if your order was on the same bill or if you wanted separate checks." (Blank stare on my face). She goes, "Oh ummm yea same check."
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Another crazy story was when I was working at a different clothing store. It was a weeknight so they only had two people scheduled for closing. This couple comes in with a baby stroller but with the baby covered with a blanket. The girl ask my assistant manager if she could help her get an item that's really high and she can't reach. The guy actually asks me if we had a pair of jeans in certain size. I said we might let me check in the back. They pretty much occupied both of us. So while was in the back looking for his pants size dude cut the cord off the security tag gun! (the gun that removes those security tags) I come back from the stock room and the couple is gone. I ask my co worker where they went and she was like oh they left. So I'm trying to ring up another customer and notice, "where's the gun to take off the tags?" My assistant manager starts to freak out! She goes in back and checks the security tapes. The guy straight up cut the cord off with a pair off scissors while both of us were occupied.

She called mall security and about 45 min later they found the couple in the parking lot trying to put stuff in the car. Turns out there was no baby at all in the stroller! Just a bunch of clothes. I guess after they left our store with our tag removal gun they hit up other stores and took a bunch of stuff hid it the empty stroller!

 

[mrgogetit]

Story number 2 kinda reminds me of mine. Me and my girl get asked that question all the time. I'm black she is white. But her mom and I go into a chick fil a and we order or whatever. Then the food comes and dude ask would you like any sauces and we both say yeah at the same time. I want Polynesian and she says chick fil a. He looks confused and says who's order is it. We look at each other and say both of ours. Dude just gets that huh look on his face and puts the sauces in the bag. Walking out her moms says why can't we have the same order.

 

[$tacy]

lmao at dude using jerseys for tissue. Son smelt the bibby jersey lmao

 

[rex ryan]

lmao at dude using jerseys for tissue. Son smelt the bibby jersey lmao

What was smelt that day is a stench I could never forget lmao.

 

[tree4twenty]

Posted this in t.a.n. and they told me to put it here.

I clean the airplane bathroom tanks. So a tank doesn't seem to be emptying correctly so, I get my heavy duty cleaning gloves and proceed to stick my hand in the tank. So I'm feeling around trying to see what's stuck. All of a sudden i grab hold of something. I tug on it trying to get it out of the tank. All of a sudden the something tugs back at me. With that scaring the crap out of me, i take my hand out of the tank. Go inside the plane to see what's happening. Turns out a dude was using the bathroom, taking a number 2 (with a number 1 as well), and he felt his number 1 being grabbed.

Please draw up a sketch with MS paint. I'm trying to picture this...

 

[pharelfor3]

smh @ Bibby jersy. I used to hate the kings tho

 

[medicalpartisan]

Well... last pay period our health system finally came out of a three year raise freeze; but they gave a measly 2%. One week later they fire 2 managers, 2 leaders, an RN who's been there for over 20 years and only had two left until retirement, and four more people TBA per rumors. And that's just in our department. Who knows what they're doing campus wide... or company wide for that matter. Smh. Sketchy. 

May not seem crazy to you guys but... it is to us. 

 

[romedadude]

View media item 308692Illustration of the incident, I was driving the black car

This was a crazy story at work that happened to me. Straight out the Twilight Zone. I cleaned cars for a rental car company. It was easy as hell, drive new cars, chill, a good escape from the grind of school, internships etc. So I would clean the car and then back it into an available parking space. This particular day was a Friday, a pretty busy day, people wanting to rent for a weekend getaway, business trip, etc. It was about an hour or two until quitting time and I only had a few more cars to wash. I clean the black car in the illustration and find a spot to park it in.

I reversed and was aiming for the far right parking space and for some reason (the heat, not paying attention, etc) I misjudged and ran smack into the silver car in the diagram. First thing I thought was oh ****! WTF! I moved the car up a bit looked around, didn't see anybody running out of the building and no one was outside getting customers into their rental. I just knew I was fired, in trouble, something. So I got out the car inspected the damage on the car I was driving, it was a slight crack on the bumper. Then I checked the other car, there was also a cracked bumper AND it was in the bushes (as illustrated). I went inside returned the keys for the black and nobody said anything. I was nervous as hell.

Like i said earlier it was a Friday so I was hoping the person left their car for the weekend and wouldn't remember how far up they parked. I went to the back to wash another car and took my sweet time. What usually took 5 mins, took 15 for the next car. I was bracing for my boss to come back there and say "romedadude, you know anything about this silver car being in the bushes?"

But it never came. I washed the next car, came back to return the keys and miraculously the silver car is GONE. The person left, didn't notice their car had moved up and any damage. I treated myself to a brew that night.

 

[medicalpartisan]

Illustration of the incident, I was driving the black car

This was a crazy story at work that happened to me. Straight out the Twilight Zone. I cleaned cars for a rental car company. It was easy as hell, drive new cars, chill, a good escape from the grind of school, internships etc. So I would clean the car and then back it into an available parking space. This particular day was a Friday, a pretty busy day, people wanting to rent for a weekend getaway, business trip, etc. It was about an hour or two until quitting time and I only had a few more cars to wash. I clean the black car in the illustration and find a spot to park it in.

I reversed and was aiming for the far right parking space and for some reason (the heat, not paying attention, etc) I misjudged and ran smack into the silver car in the diagram. First thing I thought was oh ****! WTF! I moved the car up a bit looked around, didn't see anybody running out of the building and no one was outside getting customers into their rental. I just knew I was fired, in trouble, something. So I got out the car inspected the damage on the car I was driving, it was a slight crack on the bumper. Then I checked the other car, there was also a cracked bumper AND it was in the bushes (as illustrated). I went inside returned the keys for the black and nobody said anything. I was nervous as hell.

Like i said earlier it was a Friday so I was hoping the person left their car for the weekend and wouldn't remember how far up they parked. I went to the back to wash another car and took my sweet time. What usually took 5 mins, took 15 for the next car. I was bracing for my boss to come back there and say "romedadude, you know anything about this silver car being in the bushes?"

But it never came. I washed the next car, came back to return the keys and miraculously the silver car is GONE. The person left, didn't notice their car had moved up and any damage. I treated myself to a brew that night.

What if I was the cleaner and that was your nice, new car?

 

[miamiboy]

View media item 308692Illustration of the incident, I was driving the black car

This was a crazy story at work that happened to me. Straight out the Twilight Zone. I cleaned cars for a rental car company. It was easy as hell, drive new cars, chill, a good escape from the grind of school, internships etc. So I would clean the car and then back it into an available parking space. This particular day was a Friday, a pretty busy day, people wanting to rent for a weekend getaway, business trip, etc. It was about an hour or two until quitting time and I only had a few more cars to wash. I clean the black car in the illustration and find a spot to park it in.

I reversed and was aiming for the far right parking space and for some reason (the heat, not paying attention, etc) I misjudged and ran smack into the silver car in the diagram. First thing I thought was oh ****! WTF! I moved the car up a bit looked around, didn't see anybody running out of the building and no one was outside getting customers into their rental. I just knew I was fired, in trouble, something. So I got out the car inspected the damage on the car I was driving, it was a slight crack on the bumper. Then I checked the other car, there was also a cracked bumper AND it was in the bushes (as illustrated). I went inside returned the keys for the black and nobody said anything. I was nervous as hell.

Like i said earlier it was a Friday so I was hoping the person left their car for the weekend and wouldn't remember how far up they parked. I went to the back to wash another car and took my sweet time. What usually took 5 mins, took 15 for the next car. I was bracing for my boss to come back there and say "romedadude, you know anything about this silver car being in the bushes?"

But it never came. I washed the next car, came back to return the keys and miraculously the silver car is GONE. The person left, didn't notice their car had moved up and any damage. I treated myself to a brew that night.

lol lucky as hell

 

[parada45]

I work for the DC government in a regular office. Sometimes my GF will pack me lunch in a green container. So one day I get chicken/rice for lunch. Later on my coworker starts telling the office how someone stole his lunch. I start telling him how messed up that was and couldn’t believe someone had done that. He then says it was chicken/rice in a green container. I realized what I had done and ended up hiding the container in my bookbag and throwing it away after work. I didn’t think anyone would buy my excuse so I decided to be a scumbag. Messed up I know.

 

[sooperhooper]

The last three stories were not crazy stories

 

[nelag]

I started a full time teaching job as a phys ed teacher last year. Every new teacher in my district is assigned a "mentor" who is essentially another teacher who is supposed to help me out if needed. It's BS. They also get $50 from each of my paychecks. SMH.

Anyways, dude is cool but I always had a weird feeling about him. He's always interacting weirdly with the female students in school and I definitely find it awkward.

(For example, he'll pull a girl out of my class so she can help him with something. I personally make sure I'm never in class alone with anyone. You can't trust anyone these days lol.)

I found out through the grapevine that dude used to be the high school girls basketball coach and got one of the girls on the team pregnant. He was demoted from his old teaching position and not allowed to coach anymore until eventually being assigned to the school I'm at. He has a tattoo of his daughter's name on his wrist. CREEPY.

And what makes it worse, is it seems like dude hasn't learned his lesson smh.

 

[sooperhooper]

I'm picturing a dude with a bushy mustache that always wears a Ford cap.

 

[rocman23]

When I was intern at Target we had so many poo related stories. There was a baby diaper that was full of **** in just chilling in a cart once. Cart boys had to clean that **** up, they had no clue what to do. We had a serial ****ter in the women's fitting room, or at least it seemed like it. There was **** in a pair of underwear laying in the middle of the changing room. Poo and pee all up in the changing room. The walkie talkie discoveries were hysterical but I felt so bad for the folks who had to clean it.

When I was in high school I worked at this restaurant called Friendly's. Someone took a dump on the floor in the middle of the women's bathroom and right outside of it on the tile and on the carpet. My dude who did dishes had to clean it up. As he mopped it up, poo was smeared everywhere. It was a smeary dirty poo mop and my dude was pissed. I was glad they didn't ask me to do it, I work my *** off but I refuse to clean up another human being's fecal matter unless they're blood.

 

[atlien seeko]

One thing this thread could use more of is... Pictures.

 

[riceeznnu]

When I worked in a hardware store we had a guy that was pretty crazy work there. There was definitely something off about him and created many timeless moments.

One time when we were working in the paint department, he was making a couple of gallons of stain. Stain is very thin, just like water so if you get any on the rim it will splash. This guy is about to close the gallon with a hammer and splashes stain all over himself and has some go into his mouth. At this same time some guy asked him a question, so what does he do? swallows.... WTF?

Another time there was this little quart of paint on the counter and this guy was reaching for something near it when he pushes it off the counter. the quart was not sealed correctly and splashes straight back up at this guy. The paint color is green and covers his shirt and his face. He goes to the bathroom to clean off but comes back with green on top of his bald head and just keeps working.

(separate story) A bunch of my coworkers were just talking and hanging around by one of the computers when this guy comes from behind us and all of a sudden we hear a riiiiiip. When we turn around this guy had just ripped his shirt a la hulkamania. He had to walk home with a deep v in his shirt. We were all like WTF?!

 

[tr1ll]

I work for the DC government in a regular office. Sometimes my GF will pack me lunch in a green container. So one day I get chicken/rice for lunch. Later on my coworker starts telling the office how someone stole his lunch. I start telling him how messed up that was and couldn’t believe someone had done that. He then says it was chicken/rice in a green container. I realized what I had done and ended up hiding the container in my bookbag and throwing it away after work. I didn’t think anyone would buy my excuse so I decided to be a scumbag. Messed up I know.

What agency do you work for?

Lol. Your co-worker asked you a question.

 

[RustyShackleford]

I'm mad busy this week. If this thread is still popping come next week I'll back in the notebooks and find something to post.