Not Being a Father Unappreciation.

[mr marcus]

I'm 25 with a 6 month old and I'm happy...It wasnt planned but I always wanted my first b/t ages 25-28....I want a 2nd kid when I'm in my 30s tho

...my daughter is the coolest...love that girl

 

[keif sweat]

Originally Posted by Al Audi

I turn 27 in May, I'm not gonna have a kid until 29 are 30. BTW I was pose to be a father a WHILE ago, miscarried twins.

Damn, sorry to hear that man.

Why are some of you so

about having kids closer to 40? You'll be wiser, more financially/mentally stable, patient, just generally more aware as a human being. I want to be able to impart as much wisdom to my future children as I possibly can, and right now I'm 24 and still gaining that wisdom myself. As far as someone asking what you'd be doing in the meantime....how about all the things you couldn't do with a kid

I bet if you ask enough parents what other things they would have done before having kids the list would easily fill a few years time.

 

[doublejs07]

Just had my daughter in Feb. Greatest gift ever. My life has totally changed, but I wouldn't trade it for anything.

 

[lana85]

I want to be a mom.

I didnt know guys even cared to have kids by a certain age.

 

[million dollar stacks]

im 24 i have a boy and a girl.

 

[moderndarwin]

This is an extremely mature response rate for NT; 

I am 26 and it is odd how CLOSE 30 seems.  When I was 18, the end of university (the same 4 year gap) seemed so unimaginably far away.  I have no idea where the years from 22-26 have gone and I am not at all established. 

I recently just ran a budget calculator and realized that even a 50k job wouldn't be enough to support myself and a jobless woman.  A new car payment, student loans and just a normal entertainment life would max out my available 3k a month (after taxes).

I have found the girl of my dreams and we've been dating for about 9 months now.  However, I live in a foreign country and next March will return to California to finish my masters and start my 'real' career job.  I have no idea how to swing things with her coming over here and it is too early to make that 'marriage' committment. I'm not looking forward to coming back to the grind of trying to find the right woman, the right job, and the right place to live again.  What used to be exciting at a younger age, is not just exhausting.  I want that simple 2 kids, nice house with a bball court, and a steady job I like type life.  

*It's why I'd like to wait until I am 35.  Financially secure, but not too old.  I'd be 55-60 when my kid is 20.  That seems perfect.  I'd like to have three kids and have them all between the ages of 35-40. Better for them to come into a life where their parents have the time to spend with them and a solid foundation. 

 

[oasis]

Originally Posted by ninjahood

and OP, da more sucessful you become, that "zero kids" starts to look like a big diamond on your forehead as far as women are concerned....they'll wanna snatch you wanna your pants asap.

remember, childless men become a RARE commodity, especially those who on da right track.

Some realness though, luckily kids are not even on my radar. 

 

[oo the roc oo]

I'm 27, about to be married, and I don't want any kids.....

.  Well at least for the foreseeable future.  Maybe in a couple years, that may change.

Kids are a huge responsibility....emotionally, mentally, and financially.

But as for OP, keep your head up my man.

 

[lana85]

Originally Posted by YoungTriz

Originally Posted by MMG

Originally Posted by digitalO22

Aren't baby showers for women and their women friends, though?

not Hispanic ones

asian ones too... its just another big @%+ party... all the woman in the living room opening presents and yapping while all the men outside drinking and grilling...

I thought this as well. Ive never been to a baby shower with guys.

 

[kaycurrency]

^^^Does the father of the baby have to be there?

 

[lakersman2000]

Man I wish I had that problem. I dislike children and have three under a year old. Wish I had that single life back

 

[doublejs07]

Originally Posted by KayCurrency

^^^Does the father of the baby have to be there?

I can't speak for other people, but I made an appearance and said thank you to everyone for the gifts.  I was at the bar...left, went to the shower (for 5 minutes), did my thing...then went back to the bar. 

Trust me, folks are always appreciative of the "thank you." 

 

[kaycurrency]

Originally Posted by DoubleJs07

Originally Posted by KayCurrency

^^^Does the father of the baby have to be there?

I can't speak for other people, but I made an appearance and said thank you to everyone for the gifts.  I was at the bar...left, went to the shower (for 5 minutes), did my thing...then went back to the bar. 

Trust me, folks are always appreciative of the "thank you." 

Yeah, I figured that...

 

[bence23]

if you ask me im readddyyy (alicia keys voice)

 

[sundoobie]

Originally Posted by Still1Rise

Never heard of this kinda thing happening with a guy. We can have kids at any age. Is there a deeper fear?

Yup.  You could be in your 40's, find a 20 something woman and impregnate her.  The hell is there to worry about?  
I am sorry but having kids is not fun.  I don't care if that's your seed, your entire life for the next 18 years = that kid.  And you think your relationship with the baby's mama will be great for that entire 18 years?  All I can say is PICK the right female or your life is doom.  That CHILD SUPPORT money is no joke.  

  Plus I have seen married men with kids just hating life.  9-5 job to go home to a nagging wife with zero free time to do anything for themselves.  Then when the kids are teens, they rebel, and just hate their parents.  

So to me there is no reason to feel down if you're not a father yet.  If it's meant to be then it's meant to be.  You can't predict these things so stop worrying about it. 

 

[doublejs07]

Originally Posted by SunDOOBIE

Originally Posted by Still1Rise

Never heard of this kinda thing happening with a guy. We can have kids at any age. Is there a deeper fear?

Yup.  You could be in your 40's, find a 20 something woman and impregnate her.  The hell is there to worry about?  
I am sorry but having kids is not fun.  I don't care if that's your seed, your entire life for the next 18 years = that kid.  And you think your relationship with the baby's mama will be great for that entire 18 years?  All I can say is PICK the right female or your life is doom.  That CHILD SUPPORT money is no joke.  

  Plus I have seen married men with kids just hating life.  9-5 job to go home to a nagging wife with zero free time to do anything for themselves.  Then when the kids are teens, they rebel, and just hate their parents.  

So to me there is no reason to feel down if you're not a father yet.  If it's meant to be then it's meant to be.  You can't predict these things so stop worrying about it. 

Do you have kids? 

You got a deadbeat mentality, or that of someone who has been scarred from something in their youth. 
  

 

[Mark Antony]

Originally Posted by lakersman2000

Man I wish I had that problem. I dislike children and have three under a year old. Wish I had that single life back

 

[ricky409]

Originally Posted by lakersman2000

Man I wish I had that problem. I dislike children and have three under a year old. Wish I had that single life back

 

[thytkerjobs]

Originally Posted by lakersman2000

Man I wish I had that problem. I dislike children and have three under a year old. Wish I had that single life back

please tell me they are triplets
  

 

[keif sweat]

Originally Posted by Mark Antony

Originally Posted by lakersman2000

Man I wish I had that problem. I dislike children and have three under a year old. Wish I had that single life back

Gotta appreciate the honesty tho

 

[ooiron manoo]

Don't know DJ? Maybe you have that "honeymoon" phase mentality but majority of folks with fams that I talk to live their wife and kids to death but keep it real and say "wish I would've waited a little longer and enjoyed life a little more."

Their convos always start "I love my wife and kids, but..."

They are just keeping it real, or maybe its because they see that I'm 29 (30 in May

), single, living it up with money in my pocket not really giving a damn. I'm really career driven right now so that's my focus. Little dudes will come when I'm 33-35.

Dudes at work, with $50k salaries unable to go on a Chipotle run cause they had to pay for their kids expenses or because they have to eat what the wife brown bagged (

), that's rough. Not ready for that.

 

[lakersman2000]

Originally Posted by thytkerjobs

Originally Posted by lakersman2000

Man I wish I had that problem. I dislike children and have three under a year old. Wish I had that single life back

please tell me they are triplets
  

. ten month old twins and a two week old. Kids are overrated. Love my kids but don't like them.

 

[maxelite]

Originally Posted by lakersman2000

Originally Posted by thytkerjobs

Originally Posted by lakersman2000

Man I wish I had that problem. I dislike children and have three under a year old. Wish I had that single life back

please tell me they are triplets
  

. ten month old twins and a two week old. Kids are overrated. Love my kids but don't like them.

Damn tell us how you really feel

 

[doublejs07]

Originally Posted by ooIRON MANoo

Don't know DJ? Maybe you have that "honeymoon" phase mentality but majority of folks with fams that I talk to live their wife and kids to death but keep it real and say "wish I would've waited a little longer and enjoyed life a little more."

Their convos always start "I love my wife and kids, but..."

They are just keeping it real, or maybe its because they see that I'm 29 (30 in May

), single, living it up with money in my pocket not really giving a damn. I'm really career driven right now so that's my focus. Little dudes will come when I'm 33-35.

Dudes at work, with $50k salaries unable to go on a Chipotle run cause they had to pay for their kids expenses or because they have to eat what the wife brown bagged (

), that's rough. Not ready for that.

He made a blanket statement...and I'm curious to know if he has kids in the first place or if he's chiming in, speaking from someone else's perspective.  If he doesn't have kids, I'll take what he says w. a grain of salt.  If he does, well maybe he needs to look at himself in the mirror and figure out what he can do better as a father/man. 

Trust me...I'm a new dad.  It's not all sunshine and daisy's with kids.  It's HARD raising them and I'm only 2 months in.  However (from my POV), for as frustrated as you may get, there are so many little, GREAT things that happen spontaneously that make you forget about some of the tough times you have.  


  

 

[kaycurrency]

Originally Posted by lakersman2000

Originally Posted by thytkerjobs

Originally Posted by lakersman2000

Man I wish I had that problem. I dislike children and have three under a year old. Wish I had that single life back

please tell me they are triplets
  

. ten month old twins and a two week old. Kids are overrated. Love my kids but don't like them.

... This just made me LOL....