Parents of kids that get bullied

[north dade represent]

Apparently, school bullying has been a hot topic recently and all over CNN the past couple days, and after watching the horrific stories of what goes on it led to my thoughts.

We all know the kids that get bullied are not blamed for the most part. Mainly people attack the bullies and the parents of the bullies (which is understandable)

But what about the parents of the kids that get bullied? I feel like most kids that do get bullied are not socially developed, and don't know how to handle social situations well. If I had a kid that got bullied I would feel that I failed as a parent. Does my child have no friends to back them up? Why is he/she so unpopular?

What some parents need to realize is that they do play a role in their children's social development. By the time your kids get to elementary school they should already have a few freinds from the neighborhood as a support network. Set up some playdates, get them involved in sports, do something. Hell, get them in martial arts just in case they do have to defend themselves. Teach them to stand up for themselves and others.

I just feel like people don't raise their children to be well rounded individuals and then they're crying cause they got beat up. It's not right, but maybe look yourself in the mirror and ask what could I have done to prevent this. Most of this bullying stuff would be deaded if the parents stepped up and realize they can't just send their kids off to school with zero social skills and expect them to fit in.

 

[mitchellicious]

True. If the parents are lames, then the kid is gonna be a lame.

 

[kramer]

Ehh you can't really force your kid to have friends though and be popular. If they don't talk much at school or whatever its not like the parent can really change that. I'll admit that the parent does have alot of influence over a kid's personality though

 

[melofan15]

hmm..interesting point op

 

[metrokid26]

Interesting post. But you have to look at it in perspective; if children are bullying others, what are the parents of the bully teaching (or in this case, not teaching) their children about respecting others?

If you ask me, when you say that 'bullies' play some sort of role in a child's social development is a cop out of a bigger problem. You should not have to teach your child self defense and autonomy due to a defense against bullies, or to an extreme, criminals and those who do wrong to others. A parent should teach their child autonomy for the sake of raising a child to the best of their ability. If we all taught our children respect for others, then bullying would not be a problem.

 

[mrbrown]

I was bullied in 6th grade.... went to a school where I didnt know anyone

beat up the bully when I got tired of it..... was arrested cause of this.....I was so young too so I was like why? I was defending my self.

I became that dude on my return

profit

 

[DCAllAfrican]

You can try to cultivate confidence in your child though. Some kids are small and frail and will be more prone to getting bullied.

 

[6 Rings G.O.A.T.]

I never got bullied. .

 

[north dade represent]

Originally Posted by MetroKid26

Interesting post. But you have to look at it in perspective; if children are bullying others, what are the parents of the bully teaching (or in this case, not teaching) their children about respecting others?

If you ask me, when you say that 'bullies' play some sort of role in a child's social development is a cop out of a bigger problem. You should not have to teach your child self defense and autonomy due to a defense against bullies, or to an extreme, criminals and those who do wrong to others. A parent should teach their child autonomy for the sake of raising a child to the best of their ability. If we all taught our children respect for others, then bullying would not be a problem.

   Point taken, parents of the bullies are usually either oblivious to what's going on are pretty ignorant themselves. Both parents are at fault. But we all know that the parents of the bullies are part of the problem, but what's being ignored is the parents that don't do a great job of raising their kids to successfully manage the environment they are in. If it's not the school bully, it's the workplace bully, it's the wife/husband that takes advantage of you. If you're a punk, you're going to get taken advantage of eventually.

 

[metrokid26]

Originally Posted by North Dade Represent

Originally Posted by MetroKid26

Interesting post. But you have to look at it in perspective; if children are bullying others, what are the parents of the bully teaching (or in this case, not teaching) their children about respecting others?

If you ask me, when you say that 'bullies' play some sort of role in a child's social development is a cop out of a bigger problem. You should not have to teach your child self defense and autonomy due to a defense against bullies, or to an extreme, criminals and those who do wrong to others. A parent should teach their child autonomy for the sake of raising a child to the best of their ability. If we all taught our children respect for others, then bullying would not be a problem.

   Point taken, parents of the bullies are usually either oblivious to what's going on are pretty ignorant themselves. Both parents are at fault. But we all know that the parents of the bullies are part of the problem, but what's being ignored is the parents that don't do a great job of raising their kids to successfully manage the environment they are in. If it's not the school bully, it's the workplace bully, it's the wife/husband that takes advantage of you. If you're a punk, you're going to get taken advantage of eventually.

Point taken as well, although what I typed is the bottom line truth, unfortunately people don't think that way. All you can do is have your child prepare for what may come against them.

 

[ins]

well all my life people have called me gay. I got bullied because everyone assumed because i was INS (no pun) i was a %%%++%#%++%. I took it with a grain of salt and look at me now. I'm still living, words never hurt no one.

 

[All Ready]

not really true

kids attack anything that is different

 

[caponecartels]

As soon as my kids are able, I'm taking them to a boxing gym.

 

[fourreal]

i hate bullies
been bullied from elementary school threw high school
damn i hated those days

 

[cwrite78]

Originally Posted by Mitchellicious

True. If the parents are lames, then the kid is gonna be a lame.

so we have your parents to blame

Originally Posted by FourReal

i hate bullies
been bullied from elementary school threw high school
damn i hated those days

for what reasons were you bullied?

not into popular things/crowd? or were you a small kid?


i dont remember being bullied. sure, you had your douche bags here and there that joked.. but nothing ever to the point that i hated going to school.

in my whole school career, i got in 2 fights. both were my friends, and both over really dumb stuff.

 

[cmoneymontana]

When I hear about these stories, I always ask myself, where does this happen at?
I rarely seen stuff like this while I was in school, so it makes me wonder how SOFT this younger generation is. 

Most of these parents must have got bullied themselves, to knowingly allow your child to get bullied.

 

[Clyde Frog]

I agree.

I've thought about this before, when I have a kid i'm not letting him walk out of the house if he doesnt look normal. When I was in highschool there are too many times when I saw a dork and thought why do their parents buy these clothes for them.

I'm also gonna forcing be my kid to play sports at an early age so he can make friends and learn how to associate himself with others. And for the simple fact that I love sports...

 

[monstar1]

1. Most cases of bullying are blown out of proportion.  Its the new "IT" thing for talk shows
2. Its gonna happen. Somebody is gonna make a joke, pull a wedgie, pull your shorts down....its all about how you respond. 
3. Lame parents do make lame kids.

I honestly don't remember kids getting bullied in school...I remember weirdos, lames, cry babies, stinky kids, etc.  If you were in one of those categories you better have thick skin and learn from your environment. 

 

[scshift]

Do NOT put your kid through martial arts. If you want to instill physical confidence in a kid, take him running or do some workouts with him like pushups and dips and stuff. The kids who do martial arts in my school, even with black belts, can't fight for $$%% and even the freshman cross country runners can throw down on most of the seniors who do martial arts. Most of the kids who do them can't actually fight any better than any other kid.

The best bet is probably just to tell your kid to get into a fight the next time he gets bullied. Or at least make it clear he's about that life. "You don't need to demonstrate force, you just need to exhibit strength." Once the other kids know he's willing to exchange hits they aren't going to mess with him. No one wants to get hurt, even if they know they will win a fight.

 

[cwrite78]

Originally Posted by scshift

Do NOT put your kid through martial arts. If you want to instill physical confidence in a kid, take him running or do some workouts with him like pushups and dips and stuff. The kids who do martial arts in my school, even with black belts, can't fight for %#!# and even the freshman cross country runners can throw down on most of the seniors who do martial arts. Most of the kids who do them can't actually fight any better than any other kid.

The best bet is probably just to tell your kid to get into a fight the next time he gets bullied. Or at least make it clear he's about that life. "You don't need to demonstrate force, you just need to exhibit strength." Once the other kids know he's willing to exchange hits they aren't going to mess with him. No one wants to get hurt, even if they know they will win a fight.

screw that, im putting my kid in muay thai. lets see who messes with him then. screw that karate crap.

 

[mangudai954]

Originally Posted by MonStar1

1. Most cases of bullying are blown out of proportion.  Its the new "IT" thing for talk shows
2. Its gonna happen. Somebody is gonna make a joke, pull a wedgie, pull your shorts down....its all about how you respond. 
3. Lame parents do make lame kids.

I honestly don't remember kids getting bullied in school...I remember weirdos, lames, cry babies, stinky kids, etc.  If you were in one of those categories you better have thick skin and learn from your environment. 

I would of agreed with you a month ago but recently my Dad released a documentary on bullying and some of the stories he's been telling me I didnt even have words..I keep wondering if it was that bad when I was a jit and I can't be sure. The police here have even been trying to establish programs and speaking out about it its gotten so bad. From what ive been reading and hearing its on a whole 'nother level nowadays.

 

[monstar1]

Nothing new...social media bullying is the only new thing

 

[krazy]

Originally Posted by Mitchellicious

True. If the parents are lames, then the kid is gonna be a lame.

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

You can try to cultivate confidence in your child though. Some kids are small and frail and will be more prone to getting bullied.

This..

My parents raised me pretty solid, took beatings and what not. I still got bullied in jr high 'cause I was a small dood, but I always held my own. I got into at least 4 fights ending in suspensions up until high school. Get picked on once but don't let it happen again, or it'll just be an endless cycle.

 

[fac3 tak30v312]

Parents need to teach their kids how to stand up for themself and dead all this politically correct nonsense. When I was younger kids used to attempt to bully me and I actually was the most popular kid in my class, but guess what after stomping out a couple of people all that nonsense stopped. All the popularity, social assimilation jargon is just complete bull, growing up if you had something someone else wanted and you were smaller than them, guess what they were gonna try you.

The problem is all those innate, primitive, primal ways that the media want to claim were "too advanced" and "too cultivated" to experience are still there, so when a kid comes to a certain age and the hormones start flowing out of control they're gonna find someone or something to test their new found strength against, you just gotta teach your child that when that time comes let if be known that they're no ones punching bag

 

[ninjahood]

all my moms need to tell me was, "when someone hit you, hit em back HARD" thats all i needed to hear.

when i got into fights at school, my moms never got mad, all she asked is if i started it and if i finished it.