Platonic relationships with the opposite sex Vol. it is really possible?

[teamjordan79]

Originally Posted by Infyrno23

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

Originally Posted by Infyrno23

it is possible.
you just have to keep your D in your pants.... self control, dont let yourself catch feelings, and get in a sappy movie love story.
I have about 4 or 5 girls that i am REALLY cool with, like they are really close to me, and i have never done anything with them,

it is possible... you both have to understand what it is

1. Have you not done anything by CHOICE or because they don't want you?
2. How old are you? Grown men tend not to have CLOSE female friends (outside of work, school, etc) that they just hang out with and have done NOTHING with.
3. If you had the chance to hit, would you hit any of them?

#1. By Choice... i dont think of them in that way, i really look at them like family. the other part of the question i cant answer because i never tried, and i dont care of they did or didnt "want" me

2. Im 27 now, these friends i have had i have been close with them all for about 8-10 years. Its called maturity, and any real player knows, its better to have platonic female friends then to smash every female you come in contact with... it ultimatly gets you more action.

3. No
  

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Originally Posted by IKnowRap

OP i was in you situation before to the T exactly how u described it...its died down now tho cuz my female best friend moved an hour away lol

my girlfriend broke it down to me one time how she just felt like I was with her until the day that me n my best friend decide that we were ready to be together...she was really paranoid, and the chick was the one that kinda hooked us up smh

Do you not blame her for being paranoid? Especially if the girl looked better than your girl.

Folks don't wan their S/O being "best friends" with others from the opposite sex. When will yall realize that. Folks might no say anything but I said before, people don't want to APPEAR to be insecure. So they hold things within. Also, they don't want to APPEAR to be controlling, so they hold things in. Nobody is cool with their s/o being "best friends" with someone of the opposite sex. Especially if that "best friend" is an attractive individual. And ESPECIALLY if that "best friend" and that s/o have some sort of physical/emotional history.

If you are in a relationship, cut all that "best friends" with folks of the opposite sex out. Nothing but trouble.

I mean after middle school, who ever uses the term best friend.

 

[703 hwy]

*refers OP to "How to get my girl to have a threesome" thread*

 

[DCAllAfrican]

@Inferno, how did you meet these women because I am seriously interested in how you are so tight with 5 women (assuming they aren't weak) and not WANT to do anything with them. Tell the story of how you and these females met. And when you say friends, what is that. What do you do for each other? Sit and talk on the phone? Or do you take them out to places. Just interested in it.

 

[bottom74bottom]

Yeah...but no..

I got several "platonic" friends..



- I use to date her as a freshman. Now we're just REALLY #+%%$!% COOL. that's my G. Recently, I've grown curious of big girls as of late. We broke up over her weight but she don't know that. I never, ever played her for her size I just couldn't go.. so we became friends. I'm a good dude

. So lately I've made obvious flirtatious statements to her. She has HUGE big girl pillows and a cute face, but she's really really awesome on the inside though.. She's either oblivious or playing it cool... cuz I've been "boo", "baby", "love", and all the other pet names women use for men they would probably bone if he was down for it - ever since freshman year when we woulda cut but I was being small balls about it cuz she was chunky..


-This chick is another BFFF.. ya'll may have heard of her

... Katie's been hot since been hot.. screw the mass and all that, she's just adorable. There's something about her you just have to experience to understand. And she has a brilliant mind, apparently

. But the kicker is that even though I used to have a small crush on her in like 3rd grade (and the latter parts of HS), she's just too much like me to ever wanna ruin how cool we are. I'm assuming she'd feel the same way if she had a physical attraction to me. That's like my sister for real, for real. I'd lay it down for K-dubb. But I realize I'd be a lucky man to wife a chick with her credentials. I don't even think like "Ooh, what if I could hit".. nah.. she's a keeper. She's the kind of girl I'm happy my mom already knew before she passed -- cuz it's not like I have to option of letting girls meet my mom now..

-Lil dreadz, well she's gay... and I still think she' cute. I wouldn't mnd laying her and her girl at the same time. And she's not even a lipstick lesbian. She reminds me of Da Bratt.

-Shorty has a man.. so we play it "Safe".. but I'm still after than panties and she knows it. So she stays away

.. cuz the times she is around me we pile up in my room and limit test

nope.. no real platonic friends for me........cuz I don't like #%@*! well enough to hang with it..

 

[niketalker23]

Originally Posted by icyhotpatch

So I have this homegirl who I swear I love like a sister and NOTHING more. She feels the same way with me, saying I'm the big brother she's never had. For a long time, we've been the best of friends and swear that neither of us will ever fall for the other. I have a girlfriend who I love to death and plan to marry one day. She just started going out with someone and swears she's in love with him.

Now here's the difficult part...All of my friends and hers swear that we would be the perfect couple. Some of my friends even accuse me of cheating on my own girlfriend with this best friend of mine. So I tell her about it and everyone tells her the same exact thing. People seriously think were dating. It's funny to us because we know that we'll be the best of friends forever, nothing more, nothing less. My girlfriend is kinda paranoid about the situation and thinks I care more about my best friend than her (which totally isn't true). All of her boyfriends don't seem to like me because they think I'm too protective over her (but that's how she likes it).

Sometimes we play along with these false rumors just for kicks. She calls me "babe" and stuff like that, and I find it funny and amusing. We even started saying "I love you" to each other and always end up laughing. Lately though, she's been telling me that she really loves me. She swears that it's just in a brotherly kind of way, but to me, that's kind of a strong thing to say. She says she misses me every time I don't see her for awhile and texts me everyday. She talks to me more than she talks to her new boyfriend. She's my best friend and I would do anything for her, just like I would do anything for my girlfriend.

So I ask, am I treading dangerous territory here? Are platonic relationships between and man and a woman really possible? I truly love my girlfriend now and would NEVER leave her but my best friend seems to be getting closer and closer to me. I doubt I'll ever develop feelings for her because I'm totally fine with our relationship but I can't say the same for her. Am I just being paranoid?

Honestly? You're disrespecting your girlfriend and so is your lady friend, by what you guys say to each other. You both are definitely crossing the line. 

 

[starzinoureyes]

i can only speak on my behalf, so yes i think it's very possible.

 

[iblink]

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

No dude is going to waste his TIME and EFFORT being "friends" with a female unless he is gay.

Nah... It's possible dude. Unlikely as it may be, it's possible.

 

[iknowrap]

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

Originally Posted by IKnowRap

OP i was in you situation before to the T exactly how u described it...its died down now tho cuz my female best friend moved an hour away lol

my girlfriend broke it down to me one time how she just felt like I was with her until the day that me n my best friend decide that we were ready to be together...she was really paranoid, and the chick was the one that kinda hooked us up smh

Do you not blame her for being paranoid? Especially if the girl looked better than your girl.

Folks don't wan their S/O being "best friends" with others from the opposite sex. When will yall realize that. Folks might no say anything but I said before, people don't want to APPEAR to be insecure. So they hold things within. Also, they don't want to APPEAR to be controlling, so they hold things in. Nobody is cool with their s/o being "best friends" with someone of the opposite sex. Especially if that "best friend" is an attractive individual. And ESPECIALLY if that "best friend" and that s/o have some sort of physical/emotional history.

If you are in a relationship, cut all that "best friends" with folks of the opposite sex out. Nothing but trouble.

I mean after middle school, who ever uses the term best friend.

i understood it but then I didnt becuz of the girl being part of the reason we met i figured that should have shown something like we werent interested in each other.....but let my girl tell it "its like she has you out on loan to me and has me grooming you into the perfect guy and husband n when she sees im done, she'll just say thanks and swoop u back up"

 
but me and the female have alot of the same interests, she is more attractive then my gf and all n we prolly wud make a better couple in some ppl eyes....with all that said I did make the mature decision to not hardly ever reach out to her to please n calm my girl...she still gets on edge whenever i bring her name up tho...i dont think that will die down till one of us are married

  

 

[mytmouse76]

Originally Posted by IKnowRap

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

Originally Posted by IKnowRap

OP i was in you situation before to the T exactly how u described it...its died down now tho cuz my female best friend moved an hour away lol

my girlfriend broke it down to me one time how she just felt like I was with her until the day that me n my best friend decide that we were ready to be together...she was really paranoid, and the chick was the one that kinda hooked us up smh

Do you not blame her for being paranoid? Especially if the girl looked better than your girl.

Folks don't wan their S/O being "best friends" with others from the opposite sex. When will yall realize that. Folks might no say anything but I said before, people don't want to APPEAR to be insecure. So they hold things within. Also, they don't want to APPEAR to be controlling, so they hold things in. Nobody is cool with their s/o being "best friends" with someone of the opposite sex. Especially if that "best friend" is an attractive individual. And ESPECIALLY if that "best friend" and that s/o have some sort of physical/emotional history.

If you are in a relationship, cut all that "best friends" with folks of the opposite sex out. Nothing but trouble.

I mean after middle school, who ever uses the term best friend.

i understood it but then I didnt becuz of the girl being part of the reason we met i figured that should have shown something like we werent interested in each other.....but let my girl tell it "its like she has you out on loan to me and has me grooming you into the perfect guy and husband n when she sees im done, she'll just say thanks and swoop u back up"

 
but me and the female have alot of the same interests, she is more attractive then my gf and all n we prolly wud make a better couple in some ppl eyes....with all that said I did make the mature decision to not hardly ever reach out to her to please n calm my girl...she still gets on edge whenever i bring her name up tho...i dont think that will die down till one of us are married

  

  

 

[yeahitsrust]

Ive been really good friends with a couple chicks for the majority of my life. I first had crushes on them but when the infatuation faded we were just really good friends who went through a lot together. Its been gravy ever since. Its possible.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Originally Posted by yeahitsRUST

Ive been really good friends with a couple chicks for the majority of my life. I first had crushes on them but when the infatuation faded we were just really good friends who went through a lot together. Its been gravy ever since. Its possible.

Why do you all keep providing "examples" of situations where being friends with these women were not by choice. If you had a crush on them (crushes are usually one sided) that means you didn't CHOSE to be their friend. Which brings it back to my point of no man is going to waste him time being friends with a woman by choice.

YOU got friend zoned, being friend zoned is NOT an accurate example of men and women being friends.

 

[iblink]

Originally Posted by IKnowRap

"its like she has you out on loan to me and has me grooming you into the perfect guy and husband n when she sees im done, she'll just say thanks and swoop u back up"

How's someone else gonna groom a Nupe though?

 

[essential1]

Only girls I can have a friendship without the sexual aspect are with one's who are dating my friends.. Because I won't cross that boundary by any means..

 

[infyrno23]

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

@Inferno, how did you meet these women because I am seriously interested in how you are so tight with 5 women (assuming they aren't weak) and not WANT to do anything with them. Tell the story of how you and these females met. And when you say friends, what is that. What do you do for each other? Sit and talk on the phone? Or do you take them out to places. Just interested in it.

I met two of my home girls at the same time, I was in Toronto for Caribanna, and i was at the time promoting our music while we were there, I am a people person so i can sit and talk to pretty much anybody, these two girls (Tasha & Celini) i passed them my music, and we started to sit and talk, we exchanged info, and have kept in touch for about 8 years, i write them (FB, Text, Email) at least once a week.... when im in Toronto, we go out just casual there has never been a sexual thing with either of them

my other friend Tiffany, i met in college, she stayed in the same dorm (Co-ed dorms) and she was cool with my girl at the time, we got real close... and we been cool ever since... thats 9 years, me and her are closer than any of my other female friends, over the years, i have been at her crib, she been at mines... we have slept in the same bed, me and her mom was cool (she passed away RIP), she would cook food all the time for us, it was like i was part of her family and vice versa.. never once have i tried to do anything with her sexually... She has hooked me up with MANY MANY chicks in the past... and we never even looked at it like that.... me and her keep contact on a regular basis


my homegirl B, we met just because we was always in the same places in Detroit (clubs, movie, downtown etc) and we just spoke and was like wasup i see you all the time whats your name?  and we talked, and that became a friendship....  i never did anything with her sexually.. she talks to me pretty much every week, and she talked to me alot about her recent boyfriend and also moving out of state, i told her to move to Miami, to persue modeling...

lastly Leanda, she is my homie, i call her my baby sister... I met her because she was a singer/actress and at the time i was doing the music/acting (OG NT heads remember my infamous "Quater Million" scene

) anyway... she became my homie, i look at her like my lil sister and vice versa. never once have i tried anything sexual with her, im cool with her whole family and they refer to me as family also....


i will add pics shortly, because it needs to be noted... that a man can have a strictly platonic relationship with chicks that are decent and above looking.
I dont see the big deal about not being able to have female friends? its not liek you HAVE to have sex with every girl you come in contact with, and like i said before platonic friends are gateway to gettin more action... its just being mature,  i have smashed ENOUGH girls in my lifetime, and dont feel the NEED to smash these girls... just because.

 

[oidreez]

i kinda agree with DC. What's the point of having female "best friends"? you probably wanted to smash and couldn't so now you just wanna be good friends with them. If you have a girlfriend be friends with her.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

See the way I see it, there is no benefit of me having female friends without the final destination being some sort of sexual gratitude. Besides THAT what purpose do they serve in your life? SOunds harsh but anything I want to do, anywhere I want to go, I would rather do it with my boys.

Sit and think about that because I know some of you will say, "Ahhhh you have no respect for women." Blah blah blah.

As a grown man, what purpose do female friends serve other than the potential for sex? Nothing. Anything you do, you do by yourself, with your boys, or with females that you want something from. So that why it is bizarre for me to hear dudes are friends with females they wouldn't do anything with. Like what the hell is the point. I don't want to go anywhere or having in depth conversations with females I have ZERO interest in. (Outside of lectures, art galleries, or general group discussions but those folks aren't my FRIENDS."

 

[iknowrap]

Originally Posted by iBlink

Originally Posted by IKnowRap

"its like she has you out on loan to me and has me grooming you into the perfect guy and husband n when she sees im done, she'll just say thanks and swoop u back up"

How's someone else gonna groom a Nupe though?

 exactly...thats more toward her making me throw in my player card tho...before that I was the poster boy of pimp or die on campus...nutin nice

...sigh, the good ole days lol
  

 

[twig1026]

I've had 4 of these with girls I literally was not attracted to and they all turned into sex. I friend zoned them trying to get close to their friends/learn about how girls like them move...as a guy I couldn't turn down their advances.I really don't think its possible unless she's finished dealing with men/completely friend zoned you.

 

[retro23j]

Originally Posted by iBlink

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

No dude is going to waste his TIME and EFFORT being "friends" with a female unless he is gay.

Nah... It's possible dude. Unlikely as it may be, it's possible.

it's not even unlikely. It's possible.  

OP everyone swearing you and your friend would be the perfect couple is what can fuel your lady's paranoid mind that would entertain a rumor of you and your friend. It would even be believable considering how close you are to her.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Originally Posted by Twig1026

I've had 4 of these with girls I literally was not attracted to and they all turned into sex. I friend zoned them trying to get close to their friends/learn about how girls like them move...as a guy I couldn't turn down their advances.I really don't think its possible unless she's finished dealing with men/completely friend zoned you.

And why couldn't you turn down their advances, too much heat for you huh man.

Did you ever get a taste of her friends?

Pics of these females? How bad were they? Scale of 1- 10?

 

[stylishstef89]

Its possible

 

[infyrno23]

Ok here are pics of my friends.
no ducktales at all.... THEY will co-sign everything im saying in this thread.
but the point is, its 100% possible to just be friends with a female... its actually ignorant to think that you cant be a friend to someone because they have a vagina...
I understand DC, that you look for only sexually gratification with females... but i just cant relate, i mean out of the chicks i have smashed in my life, i only was cool with these girls... but that came with growing up really.
Tiffany,

B

Celini (cant find a pic of Tasha)

Leanda (My Baby Sis)

  

 

[raptors29]

Keep your distance young man.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Nice collection right there man. Take my hat off to you. No BS

I still can't imagine you not WANTING to do anything with them, not doing ANYTHING with them.

@ The growing up comment, I don't think it has anything to do with growing up honestly. You know what people bring to your life and how they can make it better. Any platonic relationship with a female is just pointless to me. If neither one of us want ANYTHING sexual from each other then I just can't see the point of wasting the time.

But remember I also mentioned that people use the word friend too loosely. I don't label anyone that I talk to regularly as a friend so that might be where I differ from others.