quote your friend.

[kobeeh]

"I may be fat, but I'm capable of many things."

 

[conductzero]

Person A : "yo u know micheal jordan broke the backboard in college???"
Person B: " wat he do? his shot broke it??"

Person A: "Whats 1+1?"
Person B: "Its either 1 or window. If u ask a clown its window if u ask a magician its 1"

Person A: "Wow dude how do u go from Sara to Susan"
Person B: "Yeah, its like going from foodstamps to an all u can eat buffet."
*Moment of laughter*
Person B: "Hey foodstamps arent bad, u can get mad food."

Yeah. I know some pretty ridiculous people.

 

[nktran001]

"Iight then."

 

[imreallydirknowitzki]

"#%@$# is #%@$# man."

 

[potus2028]

"I pull *respectable females* like leashes"

 

[datboi23]

"Holy BLING DAWG"

 

[23jordancollector]

"dude, you think she shaves?"

 

[mangudai954]

"Son..while she was blessing me she turned around and I saw @%!% all in her $%@"

 

[eastnewyork80]

Baskin robbin employee: Do you wnt chocolate and vanilla?
Friend: no i want vanilla and chocolate

lol i couldnt stop laughing

 

[litlbibby]

"upper class gazelles"

 

[im a helion]

My older brother...

"If the +%$%* (b-word) is the butter...my !+@@'s (yes, that word)the toast."

 

[inthebean]

"not tryna come out unless u have a blunt"

 

[big fame one]

"pull my finger, no the other one."

 

[it is wat it is]

"you stay taking L's"

 

[dr fonclbrics]

Friend A in his new car looking at the door open display next to his speedometer: "Door ajar"?! What the hell does that mean?!!
Friend B: I think that your door is open.
Friend A: Oh. Why don't they just say "Door Open?" Do they expect everybody to know Spanish?

 

[deletedelete]

me ( to dude)- i like macs way better than pcs
dude- i dont know i've never used a mac
Me ( to my friend steph) hey steph do you like macs?
Steph - Who is Max?

 

[kell78dogg]

Originally Posted by ConductZero

Person A: "Whats 1+1?"
Person B: "Its either 1 or window. If u ask a clown its window if u ask a magician its 1"

Person A: "Wow dude how do u go from Sara to Susan"
Person B: "Yeah, its like going from foodstamps to an all u can eat buffet."
*Moment of laughter*
Person B: "Hey foodstamps arent bad, u can get mad food."

- What??

-

 

[5am6oody72]

My roommate turns to me while he is high and goes, "RICE BEANS...IN THE HAT OF THE LORD!!"

 

[youngsole93]

"What it look like?!!!"

 

[dlsilva21]

"There's a cord there, yo."

 

[eight2one]

"would you wanna meet Tarzan if he was real?"

 

[face82]

CompulsiveLiarGuyWeAreNoLongerFriendsWith :

"Yea man I just had a threesome with 2 girls. I was so drunk I lost they numbers."

 

[xxxnillionairexxx]

me: Remember the time we saw a real live native american?
Friend: when was this
me: At the swapshop
Friend: native americans are just puerto ricans in disguise

from a very random convo that took place during a gmail chat while we were both at work.

 

[guillermo gutierez]

On somebody lying/snitching in the military...

P1 :I don't think he will do that, but if he do, he gonna have to watch his back often cuz everybody I kno gonna be on him like crumbs on a fat $@$#+.
Me: nooooooooo!!! not like crumbs on a fat $@$#+!!!! too harsh fam. ahaahhahahahahahahahaha

P1: .........Like fur on Japanese #!$%!, like white on Micheal Jackson, like Micheal Jackson on little boys, like Catholic Priest on Boy Scouts, do I need 2say more?"

after my boy had a very.....VERY good time behind a dumpster in the projects with Ms. Chips Ahoy.....
" that $@$#+ farted

"

on my future...in case i didnt finish college
"guillermo, you was born to sell drugs."

gonna post more later

 

[jays in philly]

"T-mac gets trophies"... w/e that's suppose to mean.