What Jill Scott has to say about interracial couples...

[jordanpheen]

Originally Posted by davidisgodly

Originally Posted by balloonoboy

In the April issue of Essence

My new friend is handsome, African-American, intelligent and seemingly wealthy. He is an athlete, loves his momma, and is happily married to a White woman. I admit when I saw his wedding ring, I privately hoped. But something in me just knew he didn’t marry a sister. Although my guess hit the mark, when my friend told me his wife was indeed Caucasian, I felt my spirit…wince. I didn’t immediately understand it. My face read happy for you. My body showed no reaction to my inner pinch, but the sting was there, quiet like a mosquito under a summer dress.

Was I jealous? Did the reality of his relationship somehow diminish his soul’s credibility? The answer is not simple. One could easily dispel the wince as racist or separatist, but that’s not how I was brought up. I was reared in a Jehovah’s Witness household. I was taught that every man should be judged by his deeds and not his color, and I firmly stand where my grandmother left me. African people worldwide are known to be welcoming and open-minded. We share our culture sometimes to our own peril and most of us love the very notion of love. My position is that for women of color, this very common “wince

 

[tacc4]

Originally Posted by CharmCityKid

it is very difficult to for a black woman to see a successful black man with a white woman (tiger woods has to be THE worst

)

WHAT?!?!? Tiger ISN'T EVEN HALF black. Get outta here w/that nonsense. If Tiger Woods is the worst then black women are doing just fine.
Regardless of how black men feel, many individuals in upper class America feel that black women are inferior. For a black male trying to elevate himself in social circles (be they business, political, etc.), it - sadly - behooves him to choose a tall, thin white female to show off @cocktail parties. There are some obvious counters to this argument but it doesn't change the general sentiment shared by many upper class whites. I would argue that its not so much a negative when a black man is with a black woman, as much as it is a positive when a black man is with a white woman. It makes white men think twice. Its as if white men trust that the white woman knows the black male and is comfortable with the idea of spending her life with him. Therefore there must be something special or attractive about him as a person. I hate to reduce relationships to such simple terms but for a Gladwellian-type reaction, its more or less a green light for white males to proceed with business as if the black male were white. And I would imagine that black men pick up on this, whether its through body language or verbal language, and it gives them a feeling of belonging, acceptance and accomplishment. All of this is just my personal experience (as a white male watching these interactions) combined with a little speculation on my part (seeing as I am neither black, nor female).

 

[thenewjs23]

White, light skinned or dark, don't hate on the race
If she cute with a body, then she in the right place, come on

slim thug

 

[ramzs8906]

Originally Posted by CharmCityKid

everything she said is 100% correct, imho. yeah, she may have been a little jealous, but i figure, for many of the reasons she mentioned, it is very difficult to for a black woman to see a successful black man with a white woman (tiger woods has to be THE worst

)

i think it is a situation where i think u have to be black to TRULY understand. i have to be honest, i too don't like it when i see a "seemingly together" black woman with a white man and i am not a racist.

This is essentially how I feel.

 

[sco cuddie1]

I haven't read thru this thread but...I always felt it was a good thing to date outside your race.

You can learn so much from so many different races while being in an interracial relationship.

In the end, be with whoever makes you happy.

 

[roc boy jada]

Originally Posted by Deuce King

Originally Posted by Im Not You

As expected...many of you will either 1) not understand or 2) ignore the point of her message and just pass her off as a jealous racist black woman.

Indeed.  People in here are completely missing the point and writting off what Jill Scott is saying by calling her fat and talking about her acting skills or what have you.  

 Someone please explain how people are misinterpreting her comments. She was disheartened to learn that her friend was marrying a white woman. How is that anything but racist?

If this were a story about, say, the parents of a white girl who were upset because they learned she had a black boyfriend, the responses would have been, "Yep, yep, that's how they look at us, #!#% never changes," "White people not liking us, what's new?" and a bunch of extra crap about how evil white people are. But no, this broad gets a pass for being racist.

Why was this broad making references to slavery, anyway? Like, really? Using historical events from times you weren't around to see, to defend your racist sentiments? 

 

[torgriffith]

Originally Posted by SlamCity

Other than the cases of black men who illegitimately give themselves too high a standing to date black women, how can any other case be wrong. Popular culture has such a profound influence over everything in our lives, including what our notion of beauty is. There is no denying the fact that white women are highly popularized and displayed in beauty and fashion industries, so if its always there, I don't see how a black man can be in the wrong if his taste in women is influenced by what he sees in the general culture. The same way that advertisements in the streets guide a pool of people to buy Nike products, the advertisement right across from it with a white woman posing for Victoria's Secret on it is likely to have a similar effect on men's taste in women also, including black men. So for Jill Scott, or any other black woman, to feel spiteful (word choice) when they see a black man with a woman of another race, as though the black woman is entitled to feel a personal betrayal by this black man and his "choice" of relationship, seems unfair and incorrect, as the issue need delve a lot deeper than this one man. So im not saying black woman should not feel hurt, but who exactly is it that they should feel hurt by?

You could say all that and it'll still go over peoples heads. Even folks that claim to be business people, marketing majors, or positions of gaining influence over masses of people. People will continue to deny social conditioning. They either turn a blind eye to how it has influenced their life, or simply are just that foolish and nothing more can be said to them since they have eyes to see yet remain blinded by their egoism. 
You have to understand the source of Jill Scott's views. If you do not understand slavery as an institution ( not just a blip in americas dark past that whites promise not to ever let happen again and we're all over it because we are all "free" ) you could never properly argue down the issue at hand. If you were on the debate team, would your team let you argue a case if you hadn't done extensive research? I don't think so because amongst judges, you definitely will loose, while making your ignorance on the issue more pronounced than if you had kept quiet, or even sought to find truth in the first place.

 

[nycknicks105]

Originally Posted by Nawth21

It's hard as hell to find someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. It really is. Limiting yourself just makes it that much harder. Or sometimes that person who you thought wasn't your type (because of race, religion, socio-economic background, etc) ends up being the other half of your essence. We don't plan for that, but it happens.


Celebrate love. Regardless of color or creed.

 

[honest abe lives]

I think Jill Scott was basically saying, "I understand why things are the way they are and to a certain extent accept it, but that doesn't mean I have to like it."

That's honesty.

 

[eightysbaby]

Originally Posted by Wade187

Originally Posted by KanyeBreast

Originally Posted by P MAC ONE

I really don't have a problem with interracial relationships.

That said, from a black woman's perspective I completely understand the sting they may feel when successful black men go for white women.

As for myself, I could see "dating" a white girl but when it comes time to find a wifey I need someone with a fatty who can cook and that pretty much eliminates white girls.

bro u serious? welcome to this generation white girls these days will cook, clean your piece upon your arrival  home from work, and have some dinner ready...you sir have the game all wrong

...a black girl will hit u with the "im tired" "what you pull that out for"...go back to the drawing board

On some real @+!!, you dudes are the problem. Both of you don't realize how simple you sound. Everyones a individual yet you grouping their actions by skin color

QFT

 

[Jordan8]

How would she feel if he was gay with a Black dude tho?

Jill Scott aint ugly btw

 

[youngj14]

i had to sign in for this one....im biracial...mother white father black....i can sit here and completely -understand- where she is coming from going thru life thru her perspective....but if we choose to focus on negativity most often then not we will manifest it.....what happens when the white woman is the brunt of jills arguement.....my mother was left before she ever conceived...but more importantly after.....i feel my mom did the best she could personally...then comes along my sister.....with another black man....call my mom a night rider...to each her own.... but ive seen what the 'black male' does to the white woman....two times over..once being the child and once being the reporter....relationships will always be a touchy subject especially when children or marriage is brought into the equation...at the end of the day people mesh and people dont....colour means no more then what that couple makes it....in jills case it seems the difference between faith in the 'black male' ....im not bitter for her comments there is no good or bad way to look at it....after all she was just sayin'....lol
HBB

 

[mronegative]

Originally Posted by Nawth21

It's hard as hell to find someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. It really is. Limiting yourself just makes it that much harder. Or sometimes that person who you thought wasn't your type (because of race, religion, socio-economic background, etc) ends up being the other half of your essence. We don't plan for that, but it happens.


Celebrate love. Regardless of color or creed.

might as well lock the thread

 

[mrbojangles202]

Originally Posted by General Johnson

Why does this *!*%% think that her input on someone's preference or relationship matters?

If she's without a man and mad because dudes are doing them, then maybe she should taker her anger out on a treadmill.

I'm just saying.

Truest statement made thus far.

 

[iknowrap]

Originally Posted by TacC4



Regardless of how black men feel, many individuals in upper class America feel that black women are inferior. For a black male trying to elevate himself in social circles (be they business, political, etc.), it - sadly - behooves him to choose a tall, thin white female to show off @cocktail parties. There are some obvious counters to this argument but it doesn't change the general sentiment shared by many upper class whites. I would argue that its not so much a negative when a black man is with a black woman, as much as it is a positive when a black man is with a white woman. It makes white men think twice. Its as if white men trust that the white woman knows the black male and is comfortable with the idea of spending her life with him. Therefore there must be something special or attractive about him as a person. I hate to reduce relationships to such simple terms but for a Gladwellian-type reaction, its more or less a green light for white males to proceed with business as if the black male were white. And I would imagine that black men pick up on this, whether its through body language or verbal language, and it gives them a feeling of belonging, acceptance and accomplishment. All of this is just my personal experience (as a white male watching these interactions) combined with a little speculation on my part (seeing as I am neither black, nor female).

You made good points bruh, I truly believe that is how it goes down....
  

 

[jawnyquest]

 

[quincy powell]

I can understand people not agreeing with her, but those who don't agree believe social conditioning doesn't exist?

 

[ittakesalittlebitmore]

I think 80% of black women ** should almost just off themselves because noones interested, theyre demonized and stereotyped negatively like no other and they'll never be desired like a white female. NT is not only racist and stereotypical (more than any other forum ive been to) ,but simply doesnt understand that they are a minority within a minority and have it harder than anyone. Sometimes they dont help themselves with their approach but within a context I kind of understand and feel for them because noone has such an uphill battle as they do.

That and the fact the everybody is programmed to prefer lighter skin, fairer hair and a more 'whitewashed' life in general (myself included). Dont play dumb, its the truth


**The other 20% are light skinned

 

[jdocs]

Originally Posted by RavageBX

Originally Posted by RamZs8906

Originally Posted by Deuce King

On a related note, I wonder how many black men would feel if a large population of black women were out dating white men.

I'm quite sure "we" would be heated if this were to occur on a wide-scale basis.

We definitely would be... Hell I would argue that there are some black men who get upset when they see a beautiful black female with someone who isn't black.

QFT. Like I said, if the shoe was on the other foot dudes would sing a different tune. Whenever we see a bad black chick with anything other than a black dude, what's the first thought that comes to mind? "I bet he ain't hitting that right." This is just a small example of how it goes both ways. We're just in an advantaged position.


Is it because I don't live in the US or because I don't live in a predominantly black neighborhood that I just don't understand this logic? Why would I be mad if all the lovely black women exclusively dated non-black males? I'll just find a lovely woman of a different race, no?

I guess what I really don't get is why it is so important for these black women to find black men to settle down with.Or I'm just NOT getting it at all, but I've asked numerous times for someone to explain it

I've even read all the responses until now and I just don't get it.

 

[jdocs]

Originally Posted by IKnowRap

Originally Posted by TacC4



Regardless of how black men feel, many individuals in upper class America feel that black women are inferior. For a black male trying to elevate himself in social circles (be they business, political, etc.), it - sadly - behooves him to choose a tall, thin white female to show off @cocktail parties. There are some obvious counters to this argument but it doesn't change the general sentiment shared by many upper class whites. I would argue that its not so much a negative when a black man is with a black woman, as much as it is a positive when a black man is with a white woman. It makes white men think twice. Its as if white men trust that the white woman knows the black male and is comfortable with the idea of spending her life with him. Therefore there must be something special or attractive about him as a person. I hate to reduce relationships to such simple terms but for a Gladwellian-type reaction, its more or less a green light for white males to proceed with business as if the black male were white. And I would imagine that black men pick up on this, whether its through body language or verbal language, and it gives them a feeling of belonging, acceptance and accomplishment. All of this is just my personal experience (as a white male watching these interactions) combined with a little speculation on my part (seeing as I am neither black, nor female).

You made good points bruh, I truly believe that is how it goes down....
  

Hmm.. I've never thought about that before.That is a good point, but it's so outrageous if true in some cases. *Eyes opened/Mind blown*

 

[fade on you]

 

[diego]

Originally Posted by IKnowRap

Originally Posted by TacC4



Regardless of how black men feel, many individuals in upper class America feel that black women are inferior. For a black male trying to elevate himself in social circles (be they business, political, etc.), it - sadly - behooves him to choose a tall, thin white female to show off @cocktail parties. There are some obvious counters to this argument but it doesn't change the general sentiment shared by many upper class whites. I would argue that its not so much a negative when a black man is with a black woman, as much as it is a positive when a black man is with a white woman. It makes white men think twice. Its as if white men trust that the white woman knows the black male and is comfortable with the idea of spending her life with him. Therefore there must be something special or attractive about him as a person. I hate to reduce relationships to such simple terms but for a Gladwellian-type reaction, its more or less a green light for white males to proceed with business as if the black male were white. And I would imagine that black men pick up on this, whether its through body language or verbal language, and it gives them a feeling of belonging, acceptance and accomplishment. All of this is just my personal experience (as a white male watching these interactions) combined with a little speculation on my part (seeing as I am neither black, nor female).

You made good points bruh, I truly believe that is how it goes down....
  

Can you name one real life setting (actually happened to you) where you were judged or in a position to be judged by a white man based on the woman that you are dating.
I understand the logic in what youre saying and I hate to sound naive, but I feel as if this is something that would happen in a movie or just some overly extreme and rare type of situation that most of NT has never had to find themselves in.
In my young 24 years of living I cant ever remember being in a situation where a white man can judge me based on the girl that Im dating and I dont see it happening if and when I get married.

I mean lets face it, how often will we find ourselves in a cocktail party? I think NT is used to thinking of extreme cases like your Tiger Woods and Kobe Bryants (Millionaires), that no one is really thinking of every day normal scenarios that the average middle class interracial couple will find themselves in.

In fact the only examples I see from NT is, "I was in the rec center of my school and some black girl sucked her teeth at me and my girl because shes white."
You really care about that ignorant person's opinion?
As for Jill Scott, does she have an album coming out soon?
  

 

[nawth21]

Originally Posted by Diego

Originally Posted by IKnowRap

Originally Posted by TacC4



Regardless of how black men feel, many individuals in upper class America feel that black women are inferior. For a black male trying to elevate himself in social circles (be they business, political, etc.), it - sadly - behooves him to choose a tall, thin white female to show off @cocktail parties. There are some obvious counters to this argument but it doesn't change the general sentiment shared by many upper class whites. I would argue that its not so much a negative when a black man is with a black woman, as much as it is a positive when a black man is with a white woman. It makes white men think twice. Its as if white men trust that the white woman knows the black male and is comfortable with the idea of spending her life with him. Therefore there must be something special or attractive about him as a person. I hate to reduce relationships to such simple terms but for a Gladwellian-type reaction, its more or less a green light for white males to proceed with business as if the black male were white. And I would imagine that black men pick up on this, whether its through body language or verbal language, and it gives them a feeling of belonging, acceptance and accomplishment. All of this is just my personal experience (as a white male watching these interactions) combined with a little speculation on my part (seeing as I am neither black, nor female).

You made good points bruh, I truly believe that is how it goes down....
  

Can you name one real life setting (actually happened to you) where you were judged or in a position to be judged by a white man based on the woman that you are dating.
I understand the logic in what youre saying and I hate to sound naive, but I feel as if this is something that would happen in a movie or just some overly extreme and rare type of situation that most of NT has never had to find themselves in.
In my young 24 years of living I cant ever remember being in a situation where a white man can judge me based on the girl that Im dating and I dont see it happening if and when I get married.

I mean lets face it, how often will we find ourselves in a cocktail party? I think NT is used to thinking of extreme cases like your Tiger Woods and Kobe Bryants (Millionaires), that no one is really thinking of every day normal scenarios that the average middle class interracial couple will find themselves in.

In fact the only examples I see from NT is, "I was in the rec center of my school and some black girl sucked her teeth at me and my girl because shes white."
You really care about that ignorant person's opinion?
As for Jill Scott, does she have an album coming out soon?
  

You don't even want to know how popular dinner parties and such are in some circle of friends.  So not my thing, but it's a very common occurrence for some when you hit the late 20s, early 30s demographics.  And yes, you will be judged and gossiped about.

 

[diego]

Originally Posted by Nawth21

Originally Posted by Diego

Originally Posted by IKnowRap

Originally Posted by TacC4



Regardless of how black men feel, many individuals in upper class America feel that black women are inferior. For a black male trying to elevate himself in social circles (be they business, political, etc.), it - sadly - behooves him to choose a tall, thin white female to show off @cocktail parties. There are some obvious counters to this argument but it doesn't change the general sentiment shared by many upper class whites. I would argue that its not so much a negative when a black man is with a black woman, as much as it is a positive when a black man is with a white woman. It makes white men think twice. Its as if white men trust that the white woman knows the black male and is comfortable with the idea of spending her life with him. Therefore there must be something special or attractive about him as a person. I hate to reduce relationships to such simple terms but for a Gladwellian-type reaction, its more or less a green light for white males to proceed with business as if the black male were white. And I would imagine that black men pick up on this, whether its through body language or verbal language, and it gives them a feeling of belonging, acceptance and accomplishment. All of this is just my personal experience (as a white male watching these interactions) combined with a little speculation on my part (seeing as I am neither black, nor female).

You made good points bruh, I truly believe that is how it goes down....
  

Can you name one real life setting (actually happened to you) where you were judged or in a position to be judged by a white man based on the woman that you are dating.
I understand the logic in what youre saying and I hate to sound naive, but I feel as if this is something that would happen in a movie or just some overly extreme and rare type of situation that most of NT has never had to find themselves in.
In my young 24 years of living I cant ever remember being in a situation where a white man can judge me based on the girl that Im dating and I dont see it happening if and when I get married.

I mean lets face it, how often will we find ourselves in a cocktail party? I think NT is used to thinking of extreme cases like your Tiger Woods and Kobe Bryants (Millionaires), that no one is really thinking of every day normal scenarios that the average middle class interracial couple will find themselves in.

In fact the only examples I see from NT is, "I was in the rec center of my school and some black girl sucked her teeth at me and my girl because shes white."
You really care about that ignorant person's opinion?
As for Jill Scott, does she have an album coming out soon?
  

You don't even want to know how popular dinner parties and such are in some circle of friends.  So not my thing, but it's a very common occurrence for some when you hit the late 20s, early 30s demographics.  And yes, you will be judged and gossiped about.

   These people might want to consider new friends.

 

[handullz]

Originally Posted by ZeroGravity23

he found happiness, what's wrong with that?

SNS.

  
i cant believe no one found this funny....