Yesterday my parents decide to tell me that I am adopted. I'm 21!!!!


Nov 13, 2003
I decided to come home for the weekend from school, so on Saturday my parents say they want to talk to me tomorrow (Sunday). I really don't think much ofit at the time. So Sunday comes around, and they spring this news of me being adopted on me. I was mad and sad at the same time. It really hard to explain.They told me that I was adopted in Italy while my dad was stationed there, and that my biological mother past away giving birth to me and that my biologicalfather could not take care of me on his own. I never really suspected anything because my mother is Italian herself, so as far as looks I never thoughtanything of it. What ticks me off the most is that my grandparents, aunts and uncles all knew about this and acted as if everything was normal. I can'tremember who, but one even told me I look like my dad (*$%!!!). I asked why they did not tell me earlier and my mom said that she was protecting me and feltthat I would not feel the same way about them. Man I am so pissed right now. I had a bunch of other questions and they told me that they can not talk to mewhen I am acting this way(upset). I am totally blown away, but I still love my parents the same. Without them I would not be in this great country or have theopportunities that I have now. Am I wrong to feel this way? My mind is going a million miles an hour and this is my last semester of school so I have mystudies to concentrate on and now this.
what's the big deal? i would have said "oh, that's nice" and kept it moving. they raised you, and you love them right?
o_O how are you going to come on here asking for advice, then be rude when i voice my opinion.

i see it this way. your parents are the ones that raised you. not the ones that "brought" you here. sure, it would have been nice for the 2 peoplethat had sex to have you, raise you, but thats not how it happened.

I'm not saying that they shouldn't have told you earlier, I'm just saying realize THEY love you.
Dude, just brush it off and give them a hug and thank them...It may be hard to take right now, but maybe they waited because they didn't know how orwhen to tell you. Some things are just very difficult to say so instead of thinking about how heated you feel, take a couple of seconds and imagine how theyfeel and how they have felt all of these years !!!
and by the way, my mom raised my by herself. my dad left when i was 2, came back from 14-16 and now he's turned to drugs and alcohol so i don't evenrespect him as a person.
my girlfriend is adopted..but they told her in a very early age...i think the reason they told you now is because they think you would've reacted better
this reminds me of that episode of Smart Guy where Mo is turning like 17 or 18 and he finds out his parents adopted him.
do u even look anything like your parents? shouldnt it have been kind of obvious around the time you turned 15 if they dont?

why shouldnt your "relatives" act like everything is normal? did u want them to treat you as if you were adopted?

You had a good chilhood , just be glad for that.

A biological parent could easily be a piece of crap.

If your adopted parents provided a good and safe upbringing, thank them.
You're entitled to feel all of the emotions that you're clearly feeling. Sadness. Anger. Whatever.
I think the rest of you guys telling OP to brush it off like it's nothing are being unrealistic. I don't think he's suggesting that he no longerconsiders them parents. He's just rightfully confused about the rush of emotion.

But your parents are your parents right, OP? I think they wanted to wait for you to be an adult before telling you. It's probably just as hard on them asit is on you but they did right by telling you.
it just sounds arrogant/ignorant to say that. liek u just brushed off everything i said without considering. my bad if i took it wrong tho.

what exactly are you angry about tho? you felt lied to... or ? maybe I'm just misunderstanding you...
Don't get it confused these are my parents, they raised me and I love them to death. I am mostly upset that they did not tell me earlier, and the fact thatthis has been a big secret for 21 years.
CEMO757 wrote:
How am I being rude? I said "thats easy for you to say".
That's what I was thinking, cats get real sensitive on nt

It's completely normal for you to feel the way you do. After the shock wears off though, all that matters is the love you and your parents have for oneanother.
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