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http://www.enotalone.com/.../showthread.php?t=339561
been with my wife for 14 years. married for 4. 2 kids together, 10years old and 8 years old. she cheated on me starting in january withthis crackhead. the affair lasted 2-3 months. she ended up gettingpregnant. i think this scared her. so she hid everything from me andleft me. moved right out and went no contact with me immediately. nowshe has had a miscarriage. at this point she is finally talking tome.she is really opening up to me. i think the guilt is starting to getto her. but im so confused about giving her another chance to hurt meagain. she definitely wants my company but she keeps saying she dontknow if she wants to work on us. i dont even know if i really want herback. i love her to death. so im so confused. ive never had to dealwith anything quite like this before. how to i keep my sanity throughall this and not belittle her or make her feel worse. i want to be thegood guy through all this. even if we dont stay together. i am thinkingabout my kids first and foremost. i want them to see that mommy anddaddy can be nice even if we dont live together.
http://www.enotalone.com/.../showthread.php?t=337446
Ok so my girlfriend and I have been going out for 9 months now. We havegrown prity close buy we recently have hit a huge wall. It all starteda while back ago......
About two months ago I saw she was texting other guys. I didnt thinkmuch of it exept when she would tilt her phone down so I couldnt seewhat she was saying. I got a little worried. Then I saw what she wassaying. She was sending smiley faces to another guy who also told herto dump me and go out with him. They have been friends for a long timeso I got angry but kept it to myself.
Next for spring vacation she went and visited him. I called her and when i did he answered and we being a * * * * so I hung up. She then called back and was giggling and stuff with himin the backround. I confronted her and this guy. I asked them what theydid and both of them told me a differant story. They guy also told mehow he wanted to do stuff with my girlfriend. I was angry andconfronted my girlfriend about this. She then promised me, when she wasback, that she would never talk to him again.
The next morning, she was driving and asked me to text one of herfriends. I saw she texted this guy so I looked to see what she hadsaid. He asked her to prom........What did she say? She said "Ide loveto!!!" I was very pissed at that but I didnt break up with her. I madesure she didnt go to prom with that guy! I gave her an undeservedsecond chance.
Now she is texting her ex boyfriend. Alot. Im conserned. He is sendingher smiley faces. She is always happy to talk to him but we are alwaysfighting. When she asked me to go and do something on facebook for herI did and her ex sent and IM to her asking why I was such an * * * * * * * .I asked where did you get that from and he said from our messages. So Ilooked at thier messages. They have been sending emails back and forth.In one of them she told him I was an * * * * * * * .
As you can see they are talking behind my back. She deleats her textmessages from him. Im not sure what to do. What do you think?
http://www.enotalone.com/.../showthread.php?t=317987
I have been dating my GF for almost a year now. Her ex BF lives in NY -we live in FL. From the beginning of our relationship, my GF was honestabout her rocky relationship her ex. She admitted to breaking up withthis guy several times when she lived in NY, and even when she moved toFL, only to get back together with him because he kept calling, etc.Sheeven went as far as to say that she has lost several previous BFsbecause of her ex.
I found out after 4 months of dating her that she was lying aboutcommunicating with him - she said she didnt communicate with him anylonger - when she was. I confronted her about this and she eventuallycame clean. At the time it really wasn't a big deal, but I was upsetshe lied; however the "problem" has evolved quite a bit.
Come July I was to fly to NY to attend a wedding with her. My GF hadsince told me that she told her ex BF about me and that I was comingwith her to NY. A couple weeks before the trip, I found out that hetexted her and asked if he could see her when she got to NY. My GF saidshe texted him back (again) and said she was going with me. Well, I sawthe text message and she told him, "maybe another time sweetheart."There was no mention of me.
I confronted my GF with this information - she apologized - andbasically stated she didnt want to hurt his feelings. This made me feelREAL good - she was more considerate of HIS feelings than mine.
As you can imagine, this situation was not pretty - and I was veryupset. She promised me that she would tell him that she was withsomeone now and that I was coming with her to NY.
Two weeks go by - we head to NY for the wedding. As we are driving tothe Hotel for the wedding, she hands me her phone and asks me to dialher brother's number. As the phone is in my hand, 2 text messages comeinto her phone. The first says, "Want to F***?" and the other says"Take a picture of your P**** and A** and send it to me."
I am livid - she has obviously not told her ex BF I am with her - andif she DID tell him - WHY would she put up with this and jeopardize ourrelationship?
Fast forward several months. My GF continues to lie about hercommunication with her ex BF. She only talks to him when Im not around- usually on her way to and from work. She doesnt talk to him everyday,but at least once a week. She is very well aware that I do not approveof this communication and have since given her, basically, an ultimatem- stop this or lose me.
Another detail that is very bothersome: She always turns her ringer offwhen she gets home and makes lame excuses as to why its turned off.
A couple months ago, she gets an email from her ex with a picture of his penis. The subject line says, "Miss me?"
As you can imagine - Im not very pleased.
This has been a thorn in my (our) side for some time and all I haveasked is that she stop communicating with ths ex BF who obviously hasno respect for her being in a relationship---but wait---does he reallyknow?
My GF says that he is one of her good friends now, and although he wasa horrible BF in the past - he's been a good friend - WHAT?!?!? I askher why she would want to be friends with someone who send youinappropriate pictures of himself and puts a strain on ourrelationship??? She says, "thats just how he is."
Bottom line: my GF thinks its OK to continue to talk to this guy. Sheonly talks and texts him when Im not aorund and it drives me crazybecause we have a GREAT relationship otherwise. This issue has been ouronly "issue" in almost a year. We now live together - we have a dogtogether - and love each other.
Most recently her ex BF called her phone at 6AM the other morning while we were sleeping and I went thru the roof.
Once again, we fight. She tells me that she will "do her best" not totalk to this guy. I ask her, "is it like a crack addiciton to HAVE totalk to this guy??? She replies by saying that I am asking her to cutsomeone out of her life that has been a part of it for 4 years. I amtelling myself - YES - I am! This is not appropriate.
I am torn as to what to do or expect from her. I wouldn't like beingtold who I can and cannot talk to - and dont expect her to like iteither - but this situation, in my opinion, is VERY VERY different.
From the beginning she only talks to this guy when Im not around, yet she talks to other guys in front of me.
My question is: Am I nuts here? The last thing I want to be is one ofthose controlling boyfriends - I have never been even CLOSE to thissituation before- but I dont want to be with someone who thinks allthis is OK. I tried to be OK with her talking to this guy, but I amplain and simple just NOT going to put up with it. Even her family andfriends think she shouldnt be talking to this guy anymore - yet shethinks its OK.
Your thoughts are appreciated!
