Your Girl wants to have a baby... But you don't... What next??? (UPDATE PG 5)

[equality]

punch her right in the gut......



jk but forrea though, tell her you just not ready for it and ask her to respect your decision.
Having a baby shouldnt be about a one-sided decision

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Originally Posted by Dirtylicious

tell her she needs to go to counseling.
having another baby won't fill the void

Sounds logical but she will take offense and might make things worse. Because (to her) you are calling her crazy.

Man, if you don't want a baby, don't buss in her. Condom on or not. Point blank and throw away your own condoms. She might pull a fast one.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Originally Posted by Dirtylicious

tell her she needs to go to counseling.
having another baby won't fill the void

Sounds logical but she will take offense and might make things worse. Because (to her) you are calling her crazy.

Man, if you don't want a baby, don't buss in her. Condom on or not. Point blank and throw away your own condoms. She might pull a fast one.

 

[put em up]

Classic example of how selfish women are.

 

[put em up]

Classic example of how selfish women are.

 

[yungchamp]

Originally Posted by throwback1718

Originally Posted by DanzInRealLife

She should really be taking into account how you're feeling. Especially if you're not done with school.



You should explain how tough it could get if y'all have a kid and you're still studying..





If you really think she's the girl you'd want to have a kid with, reassure her of that fact, explain why you're not ready and why you think it'd be a good idea to wait, in regards to finance and all that jazz.

This has all been gone over before.
BUT she just has this URGE or NEED for a baby. I always restate the fact that I wanna be done with school, I want her as my kid's mother and the whole nine...

She says she's not worrying about financial problems and that she KNOWS that we will be okay. She feels it in her body.
IDK, she says she definitely understands where I'm coming from but she doesn't wanna go along with it if she doesn't have to.


Like yungchamp said, It REALLY dawned on me why people always say wait till you married, cuz all that $#+ would be cleared up and an understanding is in place.

I cannot believe she hit you with that nonsense

believe me when I tell you, you have no idea how much a child will cost until it's finally here

you better not fall for the okey doke bruh, she gon try to get you believe that....So you better make sure you got the rubber on extra tight. Having a child ain't nothing to play around with fam, she trippin.

 

[yungchamp]

Originally Posted by throwback1718

Originally Posted by DanzInRealLife

She should really be taking into account how you're feeling. Especially if you're not done with school.



You should explain how tough it could get if y'all have a kid and you're still studying..





If you really think she's the girl you'd want to have a kid with, reassure her of that fact, explain why you're not ready and why you think it'd be a good idea to wait, in regards to finance and all that jazz.

This has all been gone over before.
BUT she just has this URGE or NEED for a baby. I always restate the fact that I wanna be done with school, I want her as my kid's mother and the whole nine...

She says she's not worrying about financial problems and that she KNOWS that we will be okay. She feels it in her body.
IDK, she says she definitely understands where I'm coming from but she doesn't wanna go along with it if she doesn't have to.


Like yungchamp said, It REALLY dawned on me why people always say wait till you married, cuz all that $#+ would be cleared up and an understanding is in place.

I cannot believe she hit you with that nonsense

believe me when I tell you, you have no idea how much a child will cost until it's finally here

you better not fall for the okey doke bruh, she gon try to get you believe that....So you better make sure you got the rubber on extra tight. Having a child ain't nothing to play around with fam, she trippin.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Man you have to talk to her cal and logically. Some questions should be asked:

1. You say we will be fine financially. How are you so sure of this? Time will be even more limited. Someone has to watch the child or we have to pay for someone to watch the child (which takes away more of our $ we don't have).

2. What is the problem with waiting?

What are her answers to this? She better not use the God card for question #1 either. LOL

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Man you have to talk to her cal and logically. Some questions should be asked:

1. You say we will be fine financially. How are you so sure of this? Time will be even more limited. Someone has to watch the child or we have to pay for someone to watch the child (which takes away more of our $ we don't have).

2. What is the problem with waiting?

What are her answers to this? She better not use the God card for question #1 either. LOL

 

[blazinrook]

tell her why you want to be ready...tell her what the consequences will be if the baby is not given undivided attention...

You want to be able to provide every opportunity for your child financially and fatherly...You don't want to miss out on your
kid growing if you have to work overtime to pay the bills but at the same time you don't want to go broke. You want to be ready

ask her why she wants it now?

To bring a baby in, is a team effort...shes not the only one involved, theres 3 people involved, and she can't be the final say, but then again neither can you

So if she is saying 6 mos. - 1.5 years, you say 5-7 years from now, meet half way and your at 3.25 years from now...
Don't argue, be logical, be comforting, be realistic, let her know shes the one, but the timing is not where its at...communicate your state of mind...

keep us posted, i don't think this topic has ever been discussed on NT

 

[blazinrook]

tell her why you want to be ready...tell her what the consequences will be if the baby is not given undivided attention...

You want to be able to provide every opportunity for your child financially and fatherly...You don't want to miss out on your
kid growing if you have to work overtime to pay the bills but at the same time you don't want to go broke. You want to be ready

ask her why she wants it now?

To bring a baby in, is a team effort...shes not the only one involved, theres 3 people involved, and she can't be the final say, but then again neither can you

So if she is saying 6 mos. - 1.5 years, you say 5-7 years from now, meet half way and your at 3.25 years from now...
Don't argue, be logical, be comforting, be realistic, let her know shes the one, but the timing is not where its at...communicate your state of mind...

keep us posted, i don't think this topic has ever been discussed on NT

 

[heartofthacity]

Wow. Your girl is bugging.
If I was you, I'd abort her. It's mad selfish how she wants you to jump into essentially the biggest responsibility you'll ever have regardless of how you feel.
If you insist on staying w/ her, get her a puppy or something.

Also-- " There will NEVER be peace because she is NOT gonna be okay with things going "my way" and not hers. "

I'm no relationship expert, but that doesn't sound like a healthy relationship. Haven't you seen how other couples progress in relationships?
This attitude that she has/this situation is only going to get worse as time goes on. So weigh out the Pros and Cons... So many people stay in
relationships with BS like this because of (imo) stupid things like "we've been together since HS" "our personalities are perfect together"etc.

She's not the only girl in the world that you can have good times/longevity of relationship/a great bond with..
I may be getting off tangent, and not know enough about your relationship to say to leave, but from what you provided and what I've witnessed, I'd say to get out

 

[heartofthacity]

Wow. Your girl is bugging.
If I was you, I'd abort her. It's mad selfish how she wants you to jump into essentially the biggest responsibility you'll ever have regardless of how you feel.
If you insist on staying w/ her, get her a puppy or something.

Also-- " There will NEVER be peace because she is NOT gonna be okay with things going "my way" and not hers. "

I'm no relationship expert, but that doesn't sound like a healthy relationship. Haven't you seen how other couples progress in relationships?
This attitude that she has/this situation is only going to get worse as time goes on. So weigh out the Pros and Cons... So many people stay in
relationships with BS like this because of (imo) stupid things like "we've been together since HS" "our personalities are perfect together"etc.

She's not the only girl in the world that you can have good times/longevity of relationship/a great bond with..
I may be getting off tangent, and not know enough about your relationship to say to leave, but from what you provided and what I've witnessed, I'd say to get out

 

[club29]

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

Man you have to talk to her cal and logically. Some questions should be asked:

1. You say we will be fine financially. How are you so sure of this? Time will be even more limited. Someone has to watch the child or we have to pay for someone to watch the child (which takes away more of our $ we don't have).

2. What is the problem with waiting?

What are her answers to this? She better not use the God card for question #1 either. LOL

I cant believe it took a dozen posts to finally ask the obvious question

YOU'RE doing what you feel is best for your family in the future. Props.

she needs to put her big-girl pants on and understand that. No need to rush into something you're not ready for.

she is indeed being pretty selfish about the situation
  

 

[club29]

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

Man you have to talk to her cal and logically. Some questions should be asked:

1. You say we will be fine financially. How are you so sure of this? Time will be even more limited. Someone has to watch the child or we have to pay for someone to watch the child (which takes away more of our $ we don't have).

2. What is the problem with waiting?

What are her answers to this? She better not use the God card for question #1 either. LOL

I cant believe it took a dozen posts to finally ask the obvious question

YOU'RE doing what you feel is best for your family in the future. Props.

she needs to put her big-girl pants on and understand that. No need to rush into something you're not ready for.

she is indeed being pretty selfish about the situation
  

 

[fade on you]

Bye girl.

 

[fade on you]

Bye girl.

 

[dirtylicious]

eh.. all ya'll taking about her being selfish...but you have to remember she carried the baby for nine months.
that's a long time.. and a lot of emotional bonding happens.

OP said he didn't want the baby from jump so he's less attached.

OP, I hope you strongly suggest to your girl that she attends counseling for her grief.

 

[dirtylicious]

eh.. all ya'll taking about her being selfish...but you have to remember she carried the baby for nine months.
that's a long time.. and a lot of emotional bonding happens.

OP said he didn't want the baby from jump so he's less attached.

OP, I hope you strongly suggest to your girl that she attends counseling for her grief.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Originally Posted by Dirtylicious

OP, I hope you strongly suggest to your girl that she attends counseling for her grief.

Have you ever suggested this to someone? How she he approach that without killing her soul? No way around not hurting her feelings because she will be hurt either way.

 

[xplicit213]

+%%* %+#+%%+ get money KWASIA

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Originally Posted by Dirtylicious

OP, I hope you strongly suggest to your girl that she attends counseling for her grief.

Have you ever suggested this to someone? How she he approach that without killing her soul? No way around not hurting her feelings because she will be hurt either way.

 

[xplicit213]

+%%* %+#+%%+ get money KWASIA

 

[darksole]

suggest getting a pet together...that usually buys a couple more years

 

[darksole]

suggest getting a pet together...that usually buys a couple more years