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"A relationship without trust, is like being in a car without gas.. You could stay in that mother @#%$&* for as long as you want, but that $@%# ain't goin nowhere"
NT, how do I go about regaining the trust I had for her?
- Thread in 'General' Thread starter Started by niketalker23,
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larrydavidswag
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6 years? what EXACTLY did she lie about?
larrydavidswag
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6 years? what EXACTLY did she lie about?
MPLS612
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6 years is a long time...
MPLS612
formerly ame416
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6 years is a long time...
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No pics = no thread.
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No pics = no thread.
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no pics = lies didnt happen, op is not real
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no pics = lies didnt happen, op is not real
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I have told her, and we both agreed that we want to be together and we both feel like we're meant for each other. When I'm not thinking about it, everything is amazing. We have fun, we laugh, we enjoy being around eachother. But then out of nowhere I'll just start thinking about it and I get angry. I told her when I gave her another chance that It was going to be a while before I could fully trust her again. The problem is that, it's hard to give her my trust again when I can't get passed the past. At the end of the day I want to move passed this and be happy with her again like we were for a long tine. I just can't seem to get over it.
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I have told her, and we both agreed that we want to be together and we both feel like we're meant for each other. When I'm not thinking about it, everything is amazing. We have fun, we laugh, we enjoy being around eachother. But then out of nowhere I'll just start thinking about it and I get angry. I told her when I gave her another chance that It was going to be a while before I could fully trust her again. The problem is that, it's hard to give her my trust again when I can't get passed the past. At the end of the day I want to move passed this and be happy with her again like we were for a long tine. I just can't seem to get over it.
soltheman
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While I can't speak on your relationship with this girl because I don't know you two, from my own experience it's EXTREMELY hard to give that trust back. Even if it was something minute, you'll have the thought of her lying about that, and other things, in the back of your head for a long, long time to come. I won't tell you that the feeling gets better. It just gets easier to deal with (if that makes sense.) And if you're willing to live with that on the back of your mind until it no longer bothers you, I say go for it.
Otherwise, I would start giving some serious thought about moving on. Breaking up is tough enough, but since you've been together for years, I'm sure it seems like if you end it now you'll be throwing away some type of investment. However, as long as you can say that you've learned from the experience and have grown from it, you won't be losing nearly as much as you think you are.
Be honest with her, but more importantly, be honest with yourself. Best of luck.
Otherwise, I would start giving some serious thought about moving on. Breaking up is tough enough, but since you've been together for years, I'm sure it seems like if you end it now you'll be throwing away some type of investment. However, as long as you can say that you've learned from the experience and have grown from it, you won't be losing nearly as much as you think you are.
Be honest with her, but more importantly, be honest with yourself. Best of luck.
soltheman
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While I can't speak on your relationship with this girl because I don't know you two, from my own experience it's EXTREMELY hard to give that trust back. Even if it was something minute, you'll have the thought of her lying about that, and other things, in the back of your head for a long, long time to come. I won't tell you that the feeling gets better. It just gets easier to deal with (if that makes sense.) And if you're willing to live with that on the back of your mind until it no longer bothers you, I say go for it.
Otherwise, I would start giving some serious thought about moving on. Breaking up is tough enough, but since you've been together for years, I'm sure it seems like if you end it now you'll be throwing away some type of investment. However, as long as you can say that you've learned from the experience and have grown from it, you won't be losing nearly as much as you think you are.
Be honest with her, but more importantly, be honest with yourself. Best of luck.
Otherwise, I would start giving some serious thought about moving on. Breaking up is tough enough, but since you've been together for years, I'm sure it seems like if you end it now you'll be throwing away some type of investment. However, as long as you can say that you've learned from the experience and have grown from it, you won't be losing nearly as much as you think you are.
Be honest with her, but more importantly, be honest with yourself. Best of luck.
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Never trust em...
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Never trust em...
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Never trust em...
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Never trust em...
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You find it hard to trust her but there are mistakes you've made that she doesn't know about. Are these mistakes worse than hers? Did you catch her in her lie forcing her to tell all and admit her mistake or did she come to you with it on her own?
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You find it hard to trust her but there are mistakes you've made that she doesn't know about. Are these mistakes worse than hers? Did you catch her in her lie forcing her to tell all and admit her mistake or did she come to you with it on her own?
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NikeTalker23, you my boy and everything so I'm going to be as honest with you as possible. You need to put her on ice for awhile and judge by her words and more importantly actions if she is/was truly sorry and see how she makes it up to you. You don't actually have to tell her that you two need to break up but sometime this week sit down and have a face to face conversation with her, let her know how you feel without being to wimpy about it (guys have a tendency to do that, SMH) and let her know that you want to take some time to get your head right from this situation. If she seems taken back by that conversation and somewhat devastated then that's a good thing, shows she cares a little at least. If she acts like that doesn't phase her then I say drop her unless your married to her.
Life if too short to not be happy and trustworthy with somebody your with. No need for you to suffer any longer champ. Not to mention it's spring season so you should be seeing alot of lonely chicks on the prowl out here that are looking to be a member on some dudes team. Keep in mind that if it were you that was in the wrong and got caught most likely your girl would put you threw hell most likely so I say why not do the same in return. Females have to learn that they also have to work in a relationship to, it shouldn't just be you doing all the work and the one and only one to apologize when wrong.
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NikeTalker23, you my boy and everything so I'm going to be as honest with you as possible. You need to put her on ice for awhile and judge by her words and more importantly actions if she is/was truly sorry and see how she makes it up to you. You don't actually have to tell her that you two need to break up but sometime this week sit down and have a face to face conversation with her, let her know how you feel without being to wimpy about it (guys have a tendency to do that, SMH) and let her know that you want to take some time to get your head right from this situation. If she seems taken back by that conversation and somewhat devastated then that's a good thing, shows she cares a little at least. If she acts like that doesn't phase her then I say drop her unless your married to her.
Life if too short to not be happy and trustworthy with somebody your with. No need for you to suffer any longer champ. Not to mention it's spring season so you should be seeing alot of lonely chicks on the prowl out here that are looking to be a member on some dudes team. Keep in mind that if it were you that was in the wrong and got caught most likely your girl would put you threw hell most likely so I say why not do the same in return. Females have to learn that they also have to work in a relationship to, it shouldn't just be you doing all the work and the one and only one to apologize when wrong.
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Thanks for the advice. The things is, when I found out about her lies I broke up with her immediately. I didn't feel too bad about it because I was at the point where I my happiness was my #1 priority and it still is, because if I can't be happy then I can't make her happy. When I broke up with her she was devastated and it showed. People might assume it was a front just to get me back but I was with her for six years and I know her. She's the type to NOT show she's down if she really is. She's amazing at putting up a front and make herself seem happy to everybody regardless of how she feels inside. That's how I knew she was really devastated by me breaking up with her. For the two weeks we were apart she was basically depressed, I found out through her sisters and her mom whom I'm close to. I made her suffer a little bit and let her mistakes soak in. I knew she was genuinely sorry about what she did and she did admit to her mistakes (of course after I found out, but whatever).
The biggest problem I'm facing is that she makes me happy and we're happy together. Only when I start thinking about the lies is when I start getting upset and the resentment comes out and I pick fights with her about it. It's like since I'm not over it I want her to know how much it hurt me in order to keep her from doing it again, which is pathetic on my part. I know she's genuinely sorry and I WANT to trust her again but at the moment I feel really insecure and it's hard for me to trust. When I gave her another chance we both knew that it would take me a while for me to get over it so right now she's somewhat understanding but it's not fair for me to keep holding it against her if I'm going to continue being with her. When she's not out with her friends and she's at home with me I'm fine and I feel like I do trust her, but when she goes out and does her own thing the lies run through my head and I get extremely insecure. I hate feeling like that because I was never the insecure type. I just want to get over it..
And to the dude who asked if what I did that she doesn't know about worse..Yes, much worse..And I know this doesn't mean anything but that was a long time ago and I'd never do it again...I stopped myself way before it ever came to her finding out..
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Thanks for the advice. The things is, when I found out about her lies I broke up with her immediately. I didn't feel too bad about it because I was at the point where I my happiness was my #1 priority and it still is, because if I can't be happy then I can't make her happy. When I broke up with her she was devastated and it showed. People might assume it was a front just to get me back but I was with her for six years and I know her. She's the type to NOT show she's down if she really is. She's amazing at putting up a front and make herself seem happy to everybody regardless of how she feels inside. That's how I knew she was really devastated by me breaking up with her. For the two weeks we were apart she was basically depressed, I found out through her sisters and her mom whom I'm close to. I made her suffer a little bit and let her mistakes soak in. I knew she was genuinely sorry about what she did and she did admit to her mistakes (of course after I found out, but whatever).
The biggest problem I'm facing is that she makes me happy and we're happy together. Only when I start thinking about the lies is when I start getting upset and the resentment comes out and I pick fights with her about it. It's like since I'm not over it I want her to know how much it hurt me in order to keep her from doing it again, which is pathetic on my part. I know she's genuinely sorry and I WANT to trust her again but at the moment I feel really insecure and it's hard for me to trust. When I gave her another chance we both knew that it would take me a while for me to get over it so right now she's somewhat understanding but it's not fair for me to keep holding it against her if I'm going to continue being with her. When she's not out with her friends and she's at home with me I'm fine and I feel like I do trust her, but when she goes out and does her own thing the lies run through my head and I get extremely insecure. I hate feeling like that because I was never the insecure type. I just want to get over it..
And to the dude who asked if what I did that she doesn't know about worse..Yes, much worse..And I know this doesn't mean anything but that was a long time ago and I'd never do it again...I stopped myself way before it ever came to her finding out..
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From my experience, it's better to just let go.
edit: I tried to give my insight but half way through I got tired because it was kind of lengthy. :/
edit: I tried to give my insight but half way through I got tired because it was kind of lengthy. :/
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From my experience, it's better to just let go.
edit: I tried to give my insight but half way through I got tired because it was kind of lengthy. :/
edit: I tried to give my insight but half way through I got tired because it was kind of lengthy. :/
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