Best Pick-Up Lines

Do you have a keg in your back pocket? Because I want to drink beer from your butt. Are you from Tennessee? Because I thought I saw you at the airport. Are youwearing space pants? Because I like outerspace Is your dad a butcher? Because I would like to buy a steak. Those are usually trusty.
 
say you're in school and asked to go to the bathroom and you're just roaming the halls and you see a fine ##% girl doing the same walking in yourdirection. right before she gets parallel with you, clutch your heart and act like your legs are failing you and getting real weak. lean up against the lockerswith your arm and act like you're short of breath. the girl will stop and say "are you okay?!", then say "quick take me to thehospital!", give her your carkeys and tell her where you parked (keeping the act up), then before she cranks the engine, stop with the act, flash a bigsmile, wink, and move in for the biggest, wettest make out session ever.... sweeeeet!
 
here's another one...this one works best with the artsy chicks
just go into a museum and find you a good looking girl roaming the halls all bye herself and approach her casually (but do this with your hand on your hintrying to look sophisticated) and approach her and say "wow, let me guess your favorite color is purple"
and she will then say "no, actually it's pink"
then you say "ohh my fault, it's just every time i see a girl who im about to sleep with in 20 minuites her favorite color is purple"
then walk away
come back 20 minuites later and then you can have sex with her

but make sure you use the color purple, girls love that color right before random casual sex
 
Guy: How much does a polar bear weigh?

Girl: ummmm, not sure. How much?

Guy: enough to break the ice! Hey I'm (insert name here)
 
another oen that works is to go up to a girl that you've never met and say "excuse me maam, you dropped this back there." and hold out an unusedcondom. she'll probably laugh and say "no i didnt drop that, wrong person." then you say, "well, looks like we got an extra condom, my placeor yours?" then you get to have sex with her.
 
another classic that works is to go to the mall and go up to 2 girls and say "hello ladies, my ride is worth about 60 g's, my $!@! is large, andjudging by your looks, i'd say both of you are worthy of riding both" (you've gotta say that like how stifler would say it, same manerisms too).instantaneous threesome. the hard part is, you can't ever let them see your car (unless its really worth 60 grand), and if you don't have a large $!@!,don't worry, you had them when you mentioned the ride.
 
heres one that works on the first day of school.

when you get to your class, sit down next to a fine girl and then look at her as she sits in her desk then say "damn..... whats up girl?" with thelook you put on your face when you like what you see. then she'll probably giggle and say "hey" or something like that. then ask her what hername is and after she answers say "you know what ______(her name), theres only two things i'd rather be doing right now, and one of them is climbingmount everest." then she'll say "and the other thing?" then you say "damn _______ (her name), how dumb are you %%%? its obviously haveanal sex with you." then after class go to her house and have sex.
 
when you go into your class you must find the best looking girl in class and then you go and sit next to her (*note * if somebody is already sitting next toher approach that person and tell them their car is on fire and being invaded by flamingos, they will then run to the parking lot to stop the theft and you canhave their chair)
now what you wanna do is look at the girl and say "man, we are such good study buddies, im getting a hundred percent in this class right now"
she will then giggle and say "thats because their hasnt been any assignments"
then you say "yes there has....i have been instructed to give a girl the opportunity of a life time and sleep with her, but she has to be the prettiestgirl in the school, and i think i might choose you"
then you have sex with her
and when your done, tell her "wow..thanks for making me better, now when i pick the prettiest girl and do have sex with her ill have you to thank"
and then have sex with the prettiest girl

this one helps to be good looking like me and also rich
 
"the word of the day is legs... why don't we go back to your place and spread the word.."

Wow, that sounds corny now that i say it sober...
roll.gif
 
Originally Posted by big1236

"the word of the day is legs... why don't we go back to your place and spread the word.."

Wow, that sounds corny now that i say it sober...
roll.gif
Click to expand...
eek.gif
pimp.gif
 
i lold because the style it is in is the style of 4chan. the joke that is.
 
Originally Posted by big1236

"the word of the day is legs... why don't we go back to your place and spread the word.."

Wow, that sounds corny now that i say it sober...
roll.gif
Click to expand...
laugh.gif
Everything does.
 
OP x trying to hard / multiple failures + many cases of blue balls - any said females = a possible new boyfriend for bad nfluenz
 
To OP:
Spoiler [+]
STOP IT.
JUST STOP IT.
"Hi my name is chance do i have one" was the only funny one in here btw
 
Lol@dude crazy imagination

This is a good one, especially after the club

Guy: hey can I ask you a question
Girl: sure
Guy: if I ask you for your number will you give it to me?
Girl( if she says no): no
Guy: good, cuz I wasn't going to ask for it anyways!

They will usually laugh n then just hit em with I was just playing so my name is blah n just convo with them and then ask for the number if you strike outagain then idk what to tell ya.
 
Lol@dude crazy imagination

This is a good one, especially after the club

Guy: hey can I ask you a question
Girl: sure
Guy: if I ask you for your number will you give it to me?
Girl( if she says no): no
Guy: good, cuz I wasn't going to ask for it anyways!

They will usually laugh n then just hit em with I was just playing so my name is blah n just convo with them and then ask for the number if you strike outagain then idk what to tell ya.
 
excuse me miss, but i got lost in yo eyes. can i get the directions to your heart?
 
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