Engagement rings - - - DOes and DON'Ts, advice and recommendations

[DCAllAfrican]

Thousands of dollars? I can't do it man.

So wait, people outdo themselves after 5, 10 years? Really? Wow. You are right SKeezzy, no matter how unmaterialistic a woman is, she still has to face her friends. I hate it.

Maybe because I am so damn non-materialistic I can't see the joy in it but man there has to be an alternative to a damn ring. I don't even WANT a ring.

I am a simple dude, I just don't care about that mess man.

Originally Posted by Crumps Brother

like others said...don't overspend...buy what you can afford

stay away from chain retailers...i got mine from a jeweler in the diamond district in NYC...drove 200 miles there and 200 miles back for 3 or 4 Mondays in a row until i found the right one...and it was worth it

Got damn dude that is at least 3 hours each way. 3 or 4 times? Damn. Not enough love in the world for that.

 

[toy collector123]

Originally Posted by nyrican23

I plan on popping the question this year. There's some solid info in here

 

[toy collector123]

Originally Posted by nyrican23

I plan on popping the question this year. There's some solid info in here

 

[crumps brother]

like others said...don't overspend...buy what you can afford

stay away from chain retailers...i got mine from a jeweler in the diamond district in NYC...drove 200 miles there and 200 miles back for 3 or 4 Mondays in a row until i found the right one...and it was worth it

educate yourself for awhile before you even begin looking...of the 4 C's cut is absolutely the most important...you can easily get away with a lower color and have it look great...i think i got an I color which is the lowest rating for near colorless and my wife thought it was colorless...look at a lot of different stones to compare and see what you want to put your money into

get something certified but read up on different companies that certifiy...the degree of rating is not across the board...a stone could be a B color rating with one company and a D with another company

if you buy out of state consider having it sent to you to avoid paying state tax...i live in PA and had them mail it to me from NY which save me a few hundred dollars...had them package it up right in front of me and walked to fed ex with them to drop it off

i would say don't put a lot of money into the band...put it into the center stone...however, it's what SHE wants that really matters

 

[crumps brother]

like others said...don't overspend...buy what you can afford

stay away from chain retailers...i got mine from a jeweler in the diamond district in NYC...drove 200 miles there and 200 miles back for 3 or 4 Mondays in a row until i found the right one...and it was worth it

educate yourself for awhile before you even begin looking...of the 4 C's cut is absolutely the most important...you can easily get away with a lower color and have it look great...i think i got an I color which is the lowest rating for near colorless and my wife thought it was colorless...look at a lot of different stones to compare and see what you want to put your money into

get something certified but read up on different companies that certifiy...the degree of rating is not across the board...a stone could be a B color rating with one company and a D with another company

if you buy out of state consider having it sent to you to avoid paying state tax...i live in PA and had them mail it to me from NY which save me a few hundred dollars...had them package it up right in front of me and walked to fed ex with them to drop it off

i would say don't put a lot of money into the band...put it into the center stone...however, it's what SHE wants that really matters

 

[whyte1der05five]

Proposed back in September , I originally wanted to buy a 1.5ct but the quality wasnt great.  Ended up getting a basically flawless certified 1ct.
I got a round cut because it makes the diamond look bigger when its set.

   The band has a half carat on it.

Spent something like $5500 on the diamond and I want to say like $600 on the band. I wanted to spend more on the diamond but my gf surprised me with a cruise for our anniversary so I ran out and bought it before the cruise. Otherwise I would have bought atleast a 2ct.

I went to the Jewerlyexchange in NJ. Ended up getting an extra 10% from the manager and got it shipped to avoid taxes.  Jewerlyexchange also has a diamond exchange policy.
You can upgrade the diamond within 8 months and you just pay the difference in the price of the diamond. Might end up doing that soon.

When my gf gets home Ill take a picture of the ring.

 

[whyte1der05five]

Proposed back in September , I originally wanted to buy a 1.5ct but the quality wasnt great.  Ended up getting a basically flawless certified 1ct.
I got a round cut because it makes the diamond look bigger when its set.

   The band has a half carat on it.

Spent something like $5500 on the diamond and I want to say like $600 on the band. I wanted to spend more on the diamond but my gf surprised me with a cruise for our anniversary so I ran out and bought it before the cruise. Otherwise I would have bought atleast a 2ct.

I went to the Jewerlyexchange in NJ. Ended up getting an extra 10% from the manager and got it shipped to avoid taxes.  Jewerlyexchange also has a diamond exchange policy.
You can upgrade the diamond within 8 months and you just pay the difference in the price of the diamond. Might end up doing that soon.

When my gf gets home Ill take a picture of the ring.

 

[ayipapi]

OP (and others) do yourself a favor..start paying attention to your girl...the ring is really about the personality of the chick...by this I mean..some woman are flashy (very high setting)...some woman are settle (low setting)...some woman like details (make sure the ring is more then just a stone)..some woman are simple (stone is most important thing)...

Not sure how old you are or if you have other friends who are engaged or married but start having conversations (VERY causally) about their rings..."did you see that".."I don't like this"..."I don't like that"...pay attention to what details (or her negative or positive comments) about settings, stones , etc...trick I used is on my iPhone I keep a note log and added as I went along...

Once you get a sense of her likes and dislikes (it's mostly stone and setting) apply that to the overall flow of the ring..then hit Bluenile.com...AWESOME website...educate yourself on cut, clarity, different ratings...then design the ring...don't do something stupid like order it..it's mostly so you have an idea of what your hunting for...and also price

Then start hunting...like others said take your time..go to the mall spots (Zales, Baileys, Macy's) show them the pic (which you can save on Bluenile)..check out MANY different stones and make sure you loop them..take note of imperfection..as your browesing...right down what you like and don't like..and also price and compare..

Next go to high end spots (your local jeweler, tiffanies, and good reputable places)..try to compare the same selection as the low end spot...size cut clarity rating...pay attention to the details...

Once you've done all that..and your head is pounding you..regroup and look at your budget...buy what you can afford but don't be a cheap bastard either...remember this is an investment that your WIFE will wear for the REST of her life...if you do all this research it's almost guaranteed your gonna go over budget...

Start narrowing it down to the top three or four stones...try to group them in price, cut, clarity...once you have that..visit the stores AGAIN and make sure you LOOP the hell outta the stone...once you choose the stone get the setting (based on your conversations) and you should be set...

Contrary to what someone said..you CAN'T get it appraised before you purchase (can't watch the movie then pay for the tickets) have the jeweler give you all the documents for the stone and an appraisal THEN take it to another jeweler to have it appraised...as long as your not spending $400 on a ring..any jeweler will stand behind there appraisal should there be an issue...

Don'ts: don't get hung up on size of the stone..cut and clarity are the key not the size of the stone
Stay outta diamond districts...they will try to sell you 3.00 carat garbage pushing weight...a good jeweler can sell you a .5 carat stone that is XXX rated that cost $60k...all about your budget
Stay away from these guys that try and tell you imperfections give the ring personality and let you know that it's YOUR stone ...BS!!! That's like trying to sell you a Red Lambo with a scratch in the door so when your chilling in the hamptons it's easier to know which car is yours..

Do: RESEARCH RESEARCH RESEARCH..if done right this can easily take two to three months
Ask for recommendations of spots...(only thing it will cost is gas money or train money)
Get it insured ASAP

I think that's all I got..congrats Homie..I was engaged for two years..been married for almost 6 months now..

 

[ayipapi]

OP (and others) do yourself a favor..start paying attention to your girl...the ring is really about the personality of the chick...by this I mean..some woman are flashy (very high setting)...some woman are settle (low setting)...some woman like details (make sure the ring is more then just a stone)..some woman are simple (stone is most important thing)...

Not sure how old you are or if you have other friends who are engaged or married but start having conversations (VERY causally) about their rings..."did you see that".."I don't like this"..."I don't like that"...pay attention to what details (or her negative or positive comments) about settings, stones , etc...trick I used is on my iPhone I keep a note log and added as I went along...

Once you get a sense of her likes and dislikes (it's mostly stone and setting) apply that to the overall flow of the ring..then hit Bluenile.com...AWESOME website...educate yourself on cut, clarity, different ratings...then design the ring...don't do something stupid like order it..it's mostly so you have an idea of what your hunting for...and also price

Then start hunting...like others said take your time..go to the mall spots (Zales, Baileys, Macy's) show them the pic (which you can save on Bluenile)..check out MANY different stones and make sure you loop them..take note of imperfection..as your browesing...right down what you like and don't like..and also price and compare..

Next go to high end spots (your local jeweler, tiffanies, and good reputable places)..try to compare the same selection as the low end spot...size cut clarity rating...pay attention to the details...

Once you've done all that..and your head is pounding you..regroup and look at your budget...buy what you can afford but don't be a cheap bastard either...remember this is an investment that your WIFE will wear for the REST of her life...if you do all this research it's almost guaranteed your gonna go over budget...

Start narrowing it down to the top three or four stones...try to group them in price, cut, clarity...once you have that..visit the stores AGAIN and make sure you LOOP the hell outta the stone...once you choose the stone get the setting (based on your conversations) and you should be set...

Contrary to what someone said..you CAN'T get it appraised before you purchase (can't watch the movie then pay for the tickets) have the jeweler give you all the documents for the stone and an appraisal THEN take it to another jeweler to have it appraised...as long as your not spending $400 on a ring..any jeweler will stand behind there appraisal should there be an issue...

Don'ts: don't get hung up on size of the stone..cut and clarity are the key not the size of the stone
Stay outta diamond districts...they will try to sell you 3.00 carat garbage pushing weight...a good jeweler can sell you a .5 carat stone that is XXX rated that cost $60k...all about your budget
Stay away from these guys that try and tell you imperfections give the ring personality and let you know that it's YOUR stone ...BS!!! That's like trying to sell you a Red Lambo with a scratch in the door so when your chilling in the hamptons it's easier to know which car is yours..

Do: RESEARCH RESEARCH RESEARCH..if done right this can easily take two to three months
Ask for recommendations of spots...(only thing it will cost is gas money or train money)
Get it insured ASAP

I think that's all I got..congrats Homie..I was engaged for two years..been married for almost 6 months now..

 

[goofy08]

im with dc on this one. thousands on a ring 

if i ever pull the trigger. ima go w one of them simulated joints.

 

[goofy08]

im with dc on this one. thousands on a ring 

if i ever pull the trigger. ima go w one of them simulated joints.

 

[dirtylicious]

get the best color you can afford - but colorless is what I bought
cut is key - get as close to ideal as you can
inclusions - don't worry about these, unless you can see them with your naked eye, not with a loupe

like the others said. don't focus too much on size

 

[dirtylicious]

get the best color you can afford - but colorless is what I bought
cut is key - get as close to ideal as you can
inclusions - don't worry about these, unless you can see them with your naked eye, not with a loupe

like the others said. don't focus too much on size

 

[ksteezy]

Originally Posted by goofy08


im with dc on this one. thousands on a ring 

if i ever pull the trigger. ima go w one of them simulated joints.

its an engagement ring...its not some random piece of jewelry....im assuming you don't feel the woman you plan on sharing your life with is worth a couple of weeks savings huh?...

 

[ksteezy]

Originally Posted by goofy08


im with dc on this one. thousands on a ring 

if i ever pull the trigger. ima go w one of them simulated joints.

its an engagement ring...its not some random piece of jewelry....im assuming you don't feel the woman you plan on sharing your life with is worth a couple of weeks savings huh?...

 

[moneymike88]

Originally Posted by ksteezy

Originally Posted by goofy08


im with dc on this one. thousands on a ring 

if i ever pull the trigger. ima go w one of them simulated joints.

its an engagement ring...its not some random piece of jewelry....im assuming you don't feel the woman you plan on sharing your life with is worth a couple of weeks savings huh?...

Its just a %%*%*% ring...

 

[moneymike88]

Originally Posted by ksteezy

Originally Posted by goofy08


im with dc on this one. thousands on a ring 

if i ever pull the trigger. ima go w one of them simulated joints.

its an engagement ring...its not some random piece of jewelry....im assuming you don't feel the woman you plan on sharing your life with is worth a couple of weeks savings huh?...

Its just a %%*%*% ring...

 

[mojodmonky1]

Originally Posted by Ayipapi


Don'ts: don't get hung up on size of the stone..cut and clarity are the key not the size of the stone
Stay outta diamond districts...they will try to sell you 3.00 carat garbage pushing weight...a good jeweler can sell you a .5 carat stone that is XXX rated that cost $60k...all about your budget
Stay away from these guys that try and tell you imperfections give the ring personality and let you know that it's YOUR stone ...BS!!! That's like trying to sell you a Red Lambo with a scratch in the door so when your chilling in the hamptons it's easier to know which car is yours..

  

I disagree with this.  Living in LA we have pretty decent sized Jewelry district which I spent quite a few of my Saturday's at.  My experience was a little bit different because the jeweler was my friends mother who has a wholesale jewelry biz.  That being said, ayipapi is 100% CORRECT when he says that you will run into a LOT of unscrupulous jewelers that will try to sell you on size.  Try to talk to a lot of different jewelers and build a rapport with them.  If you have a decent BS meter, you should be able to determine fairly quickly who is genuine and who is a shark.

Just to get a better understanding of what was out there, I stopped by a couple random shops/booths to see what they had available.  Dude's were straight sleazy man.  The first question they asked was what is your budget?  Next question was, what shape and size are you looking for?  The trap was set.  They started parading out these 2+ ct uncertified stones telling me it was my lucky day.  They would tell me that IF this stone was GIA cert. it would be a E color, VS1 clarity.  Dude then pulls out his little Rappaport Guide cheat sheet and will show me what the wholesale price for a 2.3ct, E color, VS1 stone is.  He then pulls out his trusty calculator and says he will sell me THIS stone ONLY today at 80% off the Rappaport price

.  I swear atleast 3 seperate dudes tried to run the exact same okie doke on me.  These dudes need to step their bamboozle game up.

 

[mojodmonky1]

Originally Posted by Ayipapi


Don'ts: don't get hung up on size of the stone..cut and clarity are the key not the size of the stone
Stay outta diamond districts...they will try to sell you 3.00 carat garbage pushing weight...a good jeweler can sell you a .5 carat stone that is XXX rated that cost $60k...all about your budget
Stay away from these guys that try and tell you imperfections give the ring personality and let you know that it's YOUR stone ...BS!!! That's like trying to sell you a Red Lambo with a scratch in the door so when your chilling in the hamptons it's easier to know which car is yours..

  

I disagree with this.  Living in LA we have pretty decent sized Jewelry district which I spent quite a few of my Saturday's at.  My experience was a little bit different because the jeweler was my friends mother who has a wholesale jewelry biz.  That being said, ayipapi is 100% CORRECT when he says that you will run into a LOT of unscrupulous jewelers that will try to sell you on size.  Try to talk to a lot of different jewelers and build a rapport with them.  If you have a decent BS meter, you should be able to determine fairly quickly who is genuine and who is a shark.

Just to get a better understanding of what was out there, I stopped by a couple random shops/booths to see what they had available.  Dude's were straight sleazy man.  The first question they asked was what is your budget?  Next question was, what shape and size are you looking for?  The trap was set.  They started parading out these 2+ ct uncertified stones telling me it was my lucky day.  They would tell me that IF this stone was GIA cert. it would be a E color, VS1 clarity.  Dude then pulls out his little Rappaport Guide cheat sheet and will show me what the wholesale price for a 2.3ct, E color, VS1 stone is.  He then pulls out his trusty calculator and says he will sell me THIS stone ONLY today at 80% off the Rappaport price

.  I swear atleast 3 seperate dudes tried to run the exact same okie doke on me.  These dudes need to step their bamboozle game up.

 

[nawth21]

I like my ring just fine but our tv cost more than it did. But man, it's a nice !@% TV. If I could upgrade my ring or upgrade to a 3D LED? I'd pick the TV

 

[nawth21]

I like my ring just fine but our tv cost more than it did. But man, it's a nice !@% TV. If I could upgrade my ring or upgrade to a 3D LED? I'd pick the TV

 

[ksteezy]

Originally Posted by moneymike88

Originally Posted by ksteezy

Originally Posted by goofy08


im with dc on this one. thousands on a ring 

if i ever pull the trigger. ima go w one of them simulated joints.

its an engagement ring...its not some random piece of jewelry....im assuming you don't feel the woman you plan on sharing your life with is worth a couple of weeks savings huh?...

Its just a %%*%*% ring...

tell that to the woman you want to marry if you ever plan on marrying

or ask your mom if its just a *#!%!@ ring...truth is, to us man thats all it is, thats why i didn't care much for my wedding band, but to them is probably one of the most important things in their lives, they dream about the damn ring...lol

these were our rings, e-ring in the middle, i failed...i should have paid more attention, she wanted a single stone and i got her the complete opposite, plan on making it up on our 5th year anniversary

 

[ksteezy]

Originally Posted by moneymike88

Originally Posted by ksteezy

Originally Posted by goofy08


im with dc on this one. thousands on a ring 

if i ever pull the trigger. ima go w one of them simulated joints.

its an engagement ring...its not some random piece of jewelry....im assuming you don't feel the woman you plan on sharing your life with is worth a couple of weeks savings huh?...

Its just a %%*%*% ring...

tell that to the woman you want to marry if you ever plan on marrying

or ask your mom if its just a *#!%!@ ring...truth is, to us man thats all it is, thats why i didn't care much for my wedding band, but to them is probably one of the most important things in their lives, they dream about the damn ring...lol

these were our rings, e-ring in the middle, i failed...i should have paid more attention, she wanted a single stone and i got her the complete opposite, plan on making it up on our 5th year anniversary

 

[ksteezy]

Originally Posted by Nawth21

I like my ring just fine but our tv cost more than it did. But man, it's a nice !@% TV. If I could upgrade my ring or upgrade to a 3D LED? I'd pick the TV

I paid 3k for her e-ring, the one she wanted was actually cheaper, an e-ring in my opinion is priceless to some girls, others will demand something that costs an arm and a leg though...i got lucky...lol

 

[ksteezy]

Originally Posted by Nawth21

I like my ring just fine but our tv cost more than it did. But man, it's a nice !@% TV. If I could upgrade my ring or upgrade to a 3D LED? I'd pick the TV

I paid 3k for her e-ring, the one she wanted was actually cheaper, an e-ring in my opinion is priceless to some girls, others will demand something that costs an arm and a leg though...i got lucky...lol