Last Time You Crapped Yourself? Vol.Mudbutt

[i just got lucky]

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[cocotaso1]

i didn't **** my pants, but i feel this thread is the place for the story to be told.

i went swimming in a river when i was like 13 and got hit w/ the urge. i figured since it was a long way to the toilet and im in moving water that the river was just the place to go. so i swim down river away from where everyone is and start floating down stream on my back w/ my trunks slid down a lil. so as im floating away finishing up doing my doo, smiling to myself with the satisfaction of getting away w/ crapping around everyone one of the kids i left at the pool floats up to the surface right by my head. in a panic i roll over to my stomach to try to get away from it (remember im floating on my back). but the rush/commotion of me rolling over only makes the floating turd follow me. i proceed to follow the flow of the river and swim down stream and again my arm movements cause the mr. hankey to give chase so i duck under water and sink towards to bottom to let the flow take him away. it only lasted 10-12 secs but it felt like i was in a chase scene from the italian job. due to where i was, my unwillingness to stop having fun and sheer laziness the clean up was a poor job that involved a plastic grocery bag that was found near shore.

 

[Master Zik]

^Should've used some leaves.

 

[se73n0]

Anyone have to **** in a plastic bag before?

Just picture that, its almost as bad sharting yourself.

 

[cocotaso1]

^Should've used some leaves.

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[tsamshox]

 

[championboyz7]

Never had but had many close calls.
My brother picked up me up early from school cause I told him I wasn't feeling good (i was notorious for lying so I can get picked up early ) only thing was this time it was serious. My stomach was KILLING me. And I NEVER drop a deuce outside my own a
Bathroom. He decided to go get a hair cut which was a 30 min drive from home and once we got there it was a 2 hours wait...I felt it coming out and had to use that restroom which was nasty . And then use another one in a dirty *** restaurant down the street
Next times weres at two different jobs in which I got nasty bubble guts while working and was FORCED to set up camp and use the restrooms there luckily they were clean .

 

[cocotaso1]

Never had but had many close calls.
My brother picked up me up early from school cause I told him I wasn't feeling good (i was notorious for lying so I can get picked up early ) only thing was this time it was serious. My stomach was KILLING me. And I NEVER drop a deuce outside my own a
Bathroom. He decided to go get a hair cut which was a 30 min drive from home and once we got there it was a 2 hours wait...I felt it coming out and had to use that restroom which was nasty . And then use another one in a dirty *** restaurant down the street
Next times weres at two different jobs in which I got nasty bubble guts while working and was FORCED to set up camp and use the restrooms there luckily they were clean .

so basically your war stories are about successful away games w/o hilarity ensuing?

 

[johnnym215]

Yuck, you guys need better control. Only once as an adult like 10 years ago. I had food poisoning and was throwing up at the same time. Food poisoning is no joke, I ain't even know it was possible to throw up and diarrhea at the same time.

 its real. really real. 

. one time in last period class (some year in hs i dont quite remember exactly) i lost in cards and the deal was that whoever came in last place had to take a hit of the hot sauce my friend brought back from wildwood NJ. cool...we played 13 which is a viet card game..and i came in last..dipped my nail tip in it and it tasted like hot mustard...not bad..10 seconds later i was running to the bathroom allllllllll the way down the hallway and started puking...then i started to shart...i was dyin! called my pops with the girliest of voices lmao...never did that again.

 

[johnnym215]

the funny thing is is that i have no shame in my game to go pop a squat anywhere im at to lay a #2 down.....yaw must be out yaw damn minds if yaw gonna have too much pride to just take it in the slacks like that.

 

[powerballin]

just reading this thread made me spray air freshener

 

[waitwut]

when i was in kindergarten and the teacher didnt let me use the restrooms because class was almost over

ran to the restroom took my pants/undies off wiped my *** clean and threw my undies away

those were da days i swear every one needs to poo their pants once when they're a kid

 

[jonathango]

kinda off topic but me & the homie would poop in stalls close to each other so we could talk & I member this one time this dude didn't wipe then said he'll wipe at home :x

 

[guzzy]

I did after a 24 hour or so bender. I just got home and could feel it coming in the elevator on the way up to my apartment. I ran out of there, opened my apartment door and headed straight for the toilet.
It was going to be a photo finish. Unfortunately, I lost.

camping for concords -_-

6th Grade P.E.

Popped out right when we were heading to roll call.

Thank God nobody saw

 

[ballahb]

7th grade basketball camp at UMD





playing defense









worst clench walk to the bathroom ever

 

[powerballin]

they approve of this thread

 

[minotauro nogueira]

It was summertime, going into 5th grade. Hot Cheetos were poppin' around that time (Still is). Stores used to sell this value pack that was somewhat of a package aimed for fundraising. Inside the pack are six fun size backs of hot cheetos. Whenever i go to Wal-Mart, i would always beg my mom for these. It was a good thing my older bros found hot cheetos overrated, so it was all for me.

One summernight, I just had dinner. I could not recall, but all I wanted that night was hot cheetos. So for post-dinner, i ate about 3 bags of the hot cheetos fun size packs (I was a hefty kid). I downed all those hot cheetos with some sorta sugary drink, most likely it was soda. The next morning, my mom woke me up super early to go walk with her at the waterfront. The waterfront was a 1-2 mile path. During the summer, our town would get around the 90s and the waterfront was a great attraction for people looking to shed a few pounds. Oh i was shedding alright. So before we head out, I always had to poo before I leave the house. I pushed and pushed but no luck; nothing was coming out. So I said eff it maybe another time. I was rocking one of my alltime favorite Nike ballistic shorts. The were the sport mesh ones with a knitted swoosh on the side. Did I mention they were white? So my mom and bros were yelling for me to hurry and get in the car.

Right when we arrived to the waterfront, my fam would usually stretch. I didn't care one bit and just wanted to get out of there. So once we started walking, there was an odd sensation of rumbling occuring in the middle of my abdomen. Usually there are two types of bubble guts: the starving aching sounds then the bubbling mudd butt. In this situation, it was both cases. I didn't eat in the morning nor did I take a crap. So i ignored the bubbling aches because i didn't know whether I was hungry or not. Then i started getting gasous. I was constantly burbing hot cheeto flames. Suddenly, something started rushing through my entrails. I was quickly confused and scared of what was coming next. Suddenly my entrails were begininng to jam through the lower waist area. Then the pain came through. I felt my body sent electric signals to my crack. My cheeks quickly clinched tight, and my walking turned into baby skits. Suddenly, something was knocking the doors of my butt. My whole posture was upright and it looked as if I was marching for the navy, no bend on the knees. Sweat was poring through my fore head. I was feeling cold but it was a hot summer morning. Gas was excreting through the cracks every scissoring movement of my legs. More sweat began puring through my back. I felt every hair on my neck raise.

I quickly swallowed a pocket of air and asked my mom if we can go home. She became furious and told me she couldn't do anything about it. I really wanted to go home because i have a fear of pooping in public. I spent 5 more minutes walking, but i could no longer handle the pain. I asked my bro to help me to the bathroom. However, i was about 0.15 miles away from the nearest toilet. I could see the building, but all that was running through my head was to just open my doors and release the horde. We were approaching the doors of the building and every step i take gas excreted through. I walked fast and furiously, and my farting excreted loudly. Just before i entered the bathroom, my butt muscles released and the doors opened. I felt a burning hot substance oozing down my thigh. I eventually made it, but my shorts and pride were extensively damaged. I finally sat down on the toilet and my vision became blurred, my memory was shot. I couldn't see or think a thing. All i heard was my brother cussing and wiping me down. In a matter of minutes, I came back to my senses. All I saw were piles of wet paper towels drenched in red mudd butt. It looked like a horror scene or a lady who just gave birth in the bathroom. I quickly remembered what I ate and it was the hot cheetos. I guess it did not digest well in my stomach. I no longer had shorts or underwears. My bro gave me his nike hoodie to wrap around my waist. i walked out the bathroom wearing a shirt, and a hoodie on my waist. i quickly walked over to the car with my head down in shame.

 

[guzzy]

 

[ebozek9]

When I was like 8 I was at my grandparents house and I held it in because I wanted to finish whatever was on nickolodeon. Went to the bathroom right after, saw the toilet, and pooped all over myself. Not a good day

 

[space doodoo pistols]

I just remembered this one :

It's the summer after Mortal Kombat II hit arcades. I'm with my boy Joey and his family in AC. We're in the arcade, rocking out with MKII, taking turns and all of a sudden he's like "OH NO" and steps back. Idiot lost the game, wasted a quarter and I'm like "???" and he says "I HAVE TO KRABAPPEL."

I tell him to go to the bathroom, he says he won't make it. So I put another quarter in to take my turn and he runs to the back of the machine and starts rocking/pushing it my direction. I say "WTFBRO" because Liu Kang is going IN on me and I can't do anything with the machine moving. It unplugs, I yell at him and go to the back of the machine and he's squatting amongst 3 fresh logs and one on the way.

At this point, his mom comes in looking for us. I walk up to her, she's like "Where's Joey?" and he cries out "Back here!" She looks, screams, and says "OH MY GOD IN PUBLIC WE'RE LEAVING NOW" and grabs him by the arm. Well, he wasn't done so the log breaks off and he's trying to pull his shorts up over this tail poking out from between his cheeks and smears it on the waistband.

Had to wait for the SNES release to see the Johnny Cage ending. What a jerk.

 

[SC kid]

kinda off topic but me & the homie would poop in stalls close to each other so we could talk & I member this one time this dude didn't wipe then said he'll wipe at home :x

:x

this thread tho

 

[weekz]

Almost crapped myself tonight. Woke up with the bubble guts and it lasted all day. Dinner time rolls up and after I eat I'm fine for 2 hours the out of now where it's a mad dash to the bathroom.

 

[JCMojica24]

Crapped myself watching an Episode of Friday Night Lights a couple years ago. Lifted the leg up to let a fart out and I got more than I bargained for!

 

[vezon]

It was summertime, going into 5th grade. Hot Cheetos were poppin' around that time (Still is). Stores used to sell this value pack that was somewhat of a package aimed for fundraising. Inside the pack are six fun size backs of hot cheetos. Whenever i go to Wal-Mart, i would always beg my mom for these. It was a good thing my older bros found hot cheetos overrated, so it was all for me.
One summernight, I just had dinner. I could not recall, but all I wanted that night was hot cheetos. So for post-dinner, i ate about 3 bags of the hot cheetos fun size packs (I was a hefty kid). I downed all those hot cheetos with some sorta sugary drink, most likely it was soda. The next morning, my mom woke me up super early to go walk with her at the waterfront. The waterfront was a 1-2 mile path. During the summer, our town would get around the 90s and the waterfront was a great attraction for people looking to shed a few pounds. Oh i was shedding alright. So before we head out, I always had to poo before I leave the house. I pushed and pushed but no luck; nothing was coming out. So I said eff it maybe another time. I was rocking one of my alltime favorite Nike ballistic shorts. The were the sport mesh ones with a knitted swoosh on the side. Did I mention they were white? So my mom and bros were yelling for me to hurry and get in the car.
Right when we arrived to the waterfront, my fam would usually stretch. I didn't care one bit and just wanted to get out of there. So once we started walking, there was an odd sensation of rumbling occuring in the middle of my abdomen. Usually there are two types of bubble guts: the starving aching sounds then the bubbling mudd butt. In this situation, it was both cases. I didn't eat in the morning nor did I take a crap. So i ignored the bubbling aches because i didn't know whether I was hungry or not. Then i started getting gasous. I was constantly burbing hot cheeto flames. Suddenly, something started rushing through my entrails. I was quickly confused and scared of what was coming next. Suddenly my entrails were begininng to jam through the lower waist area. Then the pain came through. I felt my body sent electric signals to my crack. My cheeks quickly clinched tight, and my walking turned into baby skits. Suddenly, something was knocking the doors of my butt. My whole posture was upright and it looked as if I was marching for the navy, no bend on the knees. Sweat was poring through my fore head. I was feeling cold but it was a hot summer morning. Gas was excreting through the cracks every scissoring movement of my legs. More sweat began puring through my back. I felt every hair on my neck raise.
I quickly swallowed a pocket of air and asked my mom if we can go home. She became furious and told me she couldn't do anything about it. I really wanted to go home because i have a fear of pooping in public. I spent 5 more minutes walking, but i could no longer handle the pain. I asked my bro to help me to the bathroom. However, i was about 0.15 miles away from the nearest toilet. I could see the building, but all that was running through my head was to just open my doors and release the horde. We were approaching the doors of the building and every step i take gas excreted through. I walked fast and furiously, and my farting excreted loudly. Just before i entered the bathroom, my butt muscles released and the doors opened. I felt a burning hot substance oozing down my thigh. I eventually made it, but my shorts and pride were extensively damaged. I finally sat down on the toilet and my vision became blurred, my memory was shot. I couldn't see or think a thing. All i heard was my brother cussing and wiping me down. In a matter of minutes, I came back to my senses. All I saw were piles of wet paper towels drenched in red mudd butt. It looked like a horror scene or a lady who just gave birth in the bathroom. I quickly remembered what I ate and it was the hot cheetos. I guess it did not digest well in my stomach. I no longer had shorts or underwears. My bro gave me his nike hoodie to wrap around my waist. i walked out the bathroom wearing a shirt, and a hoodie on my waist. i quickly walked over to the car with my head down in shame.

First time in a long time something on NT had tears streaming down my face.

 

[Mactastic4167]

Real talk, ive been sick with food poisioning and while i thought i was farting, hot liquid came out instead. Muddbutt FTL...