Once a cheater always a cheater?

[trapmuzik617]

Its not gonna work.

 

[juve9ile18]

i respect everyones honest opinion...especially green_rhino. But I really do love her, honestly. And after 4 years and cheating once...not saying thats goodbut I'm not an habitual cheater. I really do love her and want to be with her though. Would I cheat again, no. I wouldn't ever want to feel the way Ifelt for the past 3 months again...real talk. It was so bad that I actually lost almost 30lbs in the month of october due to the stress with my situation andgrad school. I can honestly say I would never cheat because I didn't need to in the first place. I was trying to release my frustration in anotherway..which I could of done by not cheating. I lived through it, learned from it...but I'm not trying to loose my bestfriend/ hopefully future wife of astupid move I made. If I was having an affair then I could understand that being called a dog is justifiable. But honestly I think I made a huge mistake. Hasanyone been in this situation? I know I could move on to find someone else, but in the back of my mind I know my ex is the one Itruly want to be with.

 

[951guero]

It seems like you mature about the situation. If you honestly believe that it can work out do it, dont listen to anyone else except for yourself

 

[wstcoastgotti]

Originally Posted by 951guero

It seems like you mature about the situation. If you honestly believe that it can work out do it, dont listen to anyone else except for yourself

This...

When your in the position to get 'er done with a JO... its just so damn hard to walk away

 

[fro b giant]

I would say that if you cheat once it doesn't always mean that you would do it again. But if it was me and I wasn't married and someone cheated on me Iwould be less inclined to stick around unless I saw evidence of their remorse and they wanted to be with me. I would definitely take the required time to sortthrough all the details though and do the smart thing.

In your situation you cheated on your girl twice in the same week, I don't care if you were drunk or not. I wouldn't ever get back with someone who didthat to me especially if they apologized about the first one. I wouldn't care about the excuses I would just let it go and be happy I wasn't married tothe person.

Word of advice, if you don't want to be known as a cheater then you might want to avoid situations that could cause one to cheat. You might not want to beat a party drinking to the point you make bad decisions especially without your girlfriend present. Don't put yourself in situations where you could bealone with an attractive person of the opposite sex if you can help it.

 

[elites renee]

Originally Posted by Fro B Giant

But if it was me and I wasn't married and someone cheated on me I would be less inclined to stick around

In your situation you cheated on your girl twice in the same week, I don't care if you were drunk or not. I wouldn't ever get back with someone who did that to me

Don't put yourself in situations where you could be alone with an attractive person of the opposite sex if you can help it.

Agree 100%.

If my boyfriend cheated on me, it'd be over.

 

[swoboydehteezy]

People don't change. The right opportunity > morality.

 

[henri2310]

Its not necessarily what you want or if you want to be with her. Its obvious that you would do whatever it took to be with her but its not always about you.You seem selfish as you had to vent your own frustrations by cheating on her, admitted in selfishly going through with a smuschmortion, and then don't wantto let her go because you're afraid of losing her. Sounds a lot about yourself. You have to give her space and let her figure things out. There is no wayshe can respect you and trust you again if you are always pushing her and always around. It would probably just hurt her more. Give it time. As lame as itsounds, time heals all wounds. If after time she can trust you again then things will work out for the best in the end.

 

[juve9ile18]

Originally Posted by Henri2310

Its not necessarily what you want or if you want to be with her. Its obvious that you would do whatever it took to be with her but its not always about you. You seem selfish as you had to vent your own frustrations by cheating on her, admitted in selfishly going through with a smuschmortion, and then don't want to let her go because you're afraid of losing her. Sounds a lot about yourself. You have to give her space and let her figure things out. There is no way she can respect you and trust you again if you are always pushing her and always around. It would probably just hurt her more. Give it time. As lame as it sounds, time heals all wounds. If after time she can trust you again then things will work out for the best in the end.

Good advice man, you basically summed up everything everyone was saying. I figured I had to do that, but I was trying to see what people'sopinions are here. Honestly...I am happy a lot of people gave their input..both positive and negative. I know I won't cheat again guaranteed...with my exgirl or new one if I decide to jump back in a relationship. green_rhinos response really hit me deep...which is true. I'm cutting of all communication withher, if she comes back then that means she willing to give me another chance. If she doesn't, I wish the best for her. It was hard not seeing her thoughwith all the holidays that passed and is coming up, plus my bday is next week. So I know I will have some type of contact with her. At the moment though,I'm gonna focus on me right now...cause me being around her all the time is very selfish. I'll be vexed if I see her with another dude, but honestly Ifeel I am the best person for her. I made my bed, so I have to lay on it...but I learned a lot about myself and actually grew from this. I'm more open nowand speak my mind...before I use to hold things in. Time does heal all wounds..I wish I could press fast forward in my life now. But I have a lot of thingscoming up that I need to be focused on. My ex was my major support system both physically and emotionally...I just need to find something else to motivate me.

 

[ballynn]

even though the trust is gone... there's a 50/50 chance that you may be able to work it out with her... but my question is, how didshe get your girl's #? and usually, it'll probably gain you a few good points in your girl's eyes if you call that crazy chick in front of yourgirl and let her know what it is...

i think you both need space though. a woman's heart is definitely something you don't want to tamper with... and you sir, mayhave reached the point of no return with her... but if the love is strong... good shall prevail.

good luck.

 

[biggatree]

 

[eight2one]

In my case yes, they always get back with me...i shall grow up.....

but your relationship will crumble due to lack of trust.

 

[rockdeep]

We live a life of Double Standards so Men (most) aren't ok with their women cheating.. where most women will deal with it once.

Peep the sig.

 

[fl0eticnostalgia]

never.