- Oct 31, 2005
- 9,098
- 23,880
Urinal Etiquette
- Thread in 'General' Thread starter Started by johnnyredstorm,
- Start date
- Sep 16, 2003
- 31,468
- 1,916
These ones the worst
I remember going to the bathroom at a baseball game and some dude pulled both his pants and underwear down to the floor. No dams given
Ive never seen no **** like this before
- Aug 30, 2015
- 6,437
- 4,651
Nah **** at work is the move.
I'm trained to go 2x daily, once late morning before lunch and again after.
I spend 30 minutes everyday getting cashed out just to dookie.
- May 12, 2008
- 36,573
- 48,789
Facts. thats the extra non-mandatory break i need for myself to get thru work when the beast calls upon itself.Nah **** at work is the move.
I'm trained to go 2x daily, once late morning before lunch and again after.
I spend 30 minutes everyday getting cashed out just to dookie.
mplsdunk
Supporter
- May 25, 2004
- 35,990
- 56,193
Who actually works more than 50% of the day? 
- Aug 31, 2012
- 13,420
- 38,411
The "When's The Last Time You Crapped Yourself" thread back in 2013 or so is still my favorite thread of all time.
I shed real tears reading through that
mplsdunk
Supporter
- May 25, 2004
- 35,990
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My girls co worker **** himself two days ago.
He had food poisoning. Fell asleep and woke up covered in his own ****.
He had food poisoning. Fell asleep and woke up covered in his own ****.
- May 12, 2008
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He gonna need a mattress.
- Aug 31, 2012
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Had a real close call at work a week or two ago.
Got drunk the night before work and Doordash'ed some Chick-Fil-A to the crib. Stomach was bumping that morning. Tried to slip out a fart and immediately felt that squish. Clenched my cheeks air-tight and waddled my way to the toilet. Underwear unscathed.
Got drunk the night before work and Doordash'ed some Chick-Fil-A to the crib. Stomach was bumping that morning. Tried to slip out a fart and immediately felt that squish. Clenched my cheeks air-tight and waddled my way to the toilet. Underwear unscathed.
mplsdunk
Supporter
- May 25, 2004
- 35,990
- 56,193
mplsdunk
Supporter
- May 25, 2004
- 35,990
- 56,193
I had to **** on the side of the road one time way up in northern mn by Canada.
Wasn’t that big of a deal it was like 2am and probably the only person within 5 miles.
Wasn’t that big of a deal it was like 2am and probably the only person within 5 miles.
- May 12, 2008
- 36,573
- 48,789
Wow!Worse, a couch.
mplsdunk
Supporter
- May 25, 2004
- 35,990
- 56,193
I’ll ask details. Hopefully he had a ton blankets or something on the couch.
- Aug 31, 2012
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My stepdad was a truck driver for about 40 years and has wild **** stories for days.
Dude will tell anyone about how he's **** under every underpass on the Long Island Expressway in broad daylight in front of herds of traffic. He wears it like a badge of honor. His rationale is that he's never gonna see any of those people again and he'd rather deal with that than ****ting on himself or the interior of his truck.
He drilled the priniciple of "**** your pants for no one" into my head from a young age, and it's something I adhere to to this day.
Dude will tell anyone about how he's **** under every underpass on the Long Island Expressway in broad daylight in front of herds of traffic. He wears it like a badge of honor. His rationale is that he's never gonna see any of those people again and he'd rather deal with that than ****ting on himself or the interior of his truck.
He drilled the priniciple of "**** your pants for no one" into my head from a young age, and it's something I adhere to to this day.
- Mar 10, 2013
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- May 12, 2008
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I think the worse place to take a crap is a porter potty. Even taking a piss in one is probably how hell feels/smells like. 
Word advice always dap and wash your hands after accepting packages from your ups,fed ex delivery drivers. never ever in your life shake their hands.
The stories i have from doing A seasonal stint at ups will have your head spinning.
Word advice always dap and wash your hands after accepting packages from your ups,fed ex delivery drivers. never ever in your life shake their hands.
The stories i have from doing A seasonal stint at ups will have your head spinning.
mplsdunk
Supporter
- May 25, 2004
- 35,990
- 56,193
Bruh I drive a truck too. I can relate to him for sure. You’re gonna have some **** stories for sure.
I’ve pissed on damn near every exit ramp from here to St. Louis.
Like he said pissing in bottles and ****ing yourself is for animals.
- Aug 31, 2012
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He has even better stories on some job sites.
One job site had an anonymous dude that everyone would refer to as "The Mad ****ter." Dude would **** in random spackle buckets around the job site and close up the lid until a random victim discovered it.
What's even worse was that there was a Roach Coach (coffee truck) that would drive to the site and the dude would **** in the foil that they used to wrap up the egg sandwiches and put them back under the heating lamp on the side of the truck and wait for someone to buy his foil-wrapped dump.
One job site had an anonymous dude that everyone would refer to as "The Mad ****ter." Dude would **** in random spackle buckets around the job site and close up the lid until a random victim discovered it.
What's even worse was that there was a Roach Coach (coffee truck) that would drive to the site and the dude would **** in the foil that they used to wrap up the egg sandwiches and put them back under the heating lamp on the side of the truck and wait for someone to buy his foil-wrapped dump.
- Mar 10, 2013
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Nah man I’m not pulling over to piss. Pass me that empty Gatorade bottle.
- Feb 5, 2011
- 4,339
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I normally see foul **** like that in park bathrooms wild flagrant smelling like straight piss
mplsdunk
Supporter
- May 25, 2004
- 35,990
- 56,193
Old school drivers got the best stories man.
I got one. I drive a cement truck now so not as many **** stories but way more crackhead stories.
Anyways I’m washing my truck up after a pour and I see this couple laying on the ground screaming and sucking down a can of dust off. Me and this random dude are watching like wtf they don’t even care we see them.
Then they hop in their car and casually drive out of the lot and crash through the job site and almost hit the wall we are pouring.
I’m like ah hell no, their Kia was teetering on a 15 ft drop and if it fell it would take out the wall.
I go over there and snatch their keys out of the ignition because they keep flooring it and it’s about to fall. I did it right in front of them while they were in the car.
10 minute later the chick comes over
“Did you take my keys?”
“Nah they probably fell in the sand”
“Oh, alright thanks”
Pic doesn’t look like much because the forms are blocking it but it was about to fall 15 feet.
- Aug 31, 2012
- 13,420
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Back when I was of college age my friends and I would make a point to go visit our other friends in upstate NY to party with them a few times a year. My friend Dan would always drive, so my ritual was that I'd buy a bottle of water, a red bull, and a 1/2 pint of vodka to entertain me for the ride up there.
One time I empty out the water bottle and mix up the Red Bull/Vodka as soon as I get in the car thinking we're gonna hit the ground running. Turns out Dan had to run a few quick errands before getting on the expressway. I end up drinking everything before we get there, so I tell Dan to pull over into an industrial park so I can find a secluded spot to piss so I can avoid doing it on the ride up. He obliges, I do my thing, and we're on our way.
We don't even make it 5 exits on the expressway and I realize breaking the seal was a terrible choice. I have to piss again, but now we're going 80 in the HOV lane. My two friends are in the front seat, and it's just me, a blanket, and the empty water bottle in the backseat. I knew what I needed to do. I cover myself and piss in that water bottle. I wasn't about to sit there with a water bottle full of warm piss, so I crack the window to dump it out, but since we were going so fast it just flies right back into the car and splashes both of my friends in the front seat. They're all "OH C'MON MAN! YOU'RE GETTING WATER ALL OVER ME!!" so I'm just like "yeah, my bad...sorry."
Took me 5 years to finally admit that was piss. They took it surprisingly well and more or less said "yeah...we kinda figured." Great dudes.
- Feb 3, 2015
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- Dec 16, 2005
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the worst is walking in and the urinals/stalls haven't been previously flushed . my work doesn't have automatic flushing and there's a mysterious non-flusher on our floor.
speaking of flushing, i clogged the stall after taking a #2 at work a few months back. used too much TP, the water kept rising. looked like splash mountain in there.
. my work doesn't have automatic flushing and there's a mysterious non-flusher on our floor.speaking of flushing, i clogged the stall after taking a #2 at work a few months back. used too much TP, the water kept rising. looked like splash mountain in there.
- Aug 21, 2010
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I think the worse place to take a crap is a porter potty. Even taking a piss in one is probably how hell feels/smells like.
Word advice always dap and wash your hands after accepting packages from your ups,fed ex delivery drivers. never ever in your life shake their hands.
The stories i have from doing A seasonal stint at ups will have your head spinning.
I will never again go into a porta potty. As soon as you step in there, it's smells straight foul. More so if it's hot out.
