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in
Tips on dealing with social awkwardness/anxiety?
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Think before you talk.
Talk slow.
Oh, and read this: http://www.artofmanliness.com/2012/08/22/how-to-make-small-talk/
You will find that people will love you if you learn the art of conversation.
Smile with your eyes, and smile often. Most importantly, be authentic. You won't please everyone, but if you stick to your values and beliefs, people will respect you even if they don't agree with you. And authenticity exudes confidence, self-respect, and attraction.
Talk slow.
Oh, and read this: http://www.artofmanliness.com/2012/08/22/how-to-make-small-talk/
You will find that people will love you if you learn the art of conversation.
Smile with your eyes, and smile often. Most importantly, be authentic. You won't please everyone, but if you stick to your values and beliefs, people will respect you even if they don't agree with you. And authenticity exudes confidence, self-respect, and attraction.
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Stop thinkin so much.
Perfect example: You're at a party, you see a girl you've met before/have class with but y'all ain't really that cool. Do you:
A.) Look at her, pause, then think to yourself "I wonder if she remembers me, should I go over there, is she gon play me, I wonder if she thinks I'm ugly, is it a bad time" and try to convince yourself if/when to talk to her.
OR
B.) Walk right up to her, say "Hey_____, how are u doing" Give her a hug and make small talk.
Based on this thread you probably pick option A. You over evaluate things trying to figure out the best way to handle a situation, now while that's useful in a LOT of aspects in life, it doesn't need to be applied to simple social interactions.
Believe it or not everybody has their own insecurities, especially women. A lot of people you see that are calm and confident no matter who they talk to, it comes from YEARS of rejection, you can't learn how to be great until you learn how to fail.
Good luck man.
Perfect example: You're at a party, you see a girl you've met before/have class with but y'all ain't really that cool. Do you:
A.) Look at her, pause, then think to yourself "I wonder if she remembers me, should I go over there, is she gon play me, I wonder if she thinks I'm ugly, is it a bad time" and try to convince yourself if/when to talk to her.
OR
B.) Walk right up to her, say "Hey_____, how are u doing" Give her a hug and make small talk.
Based on this thread you probably pick option A. You over evaluate things trying to figure out the best way to handle a situation, now while that's useful in a LOT of aspects in life, it doesn't need to be applied to simple social interactions.
Believe it or not everybody has their own insecurities, especially women. A lot of people you see that are calm and confident no matter who they talk to, it comes from YEARS of rejection, you can't learn how to be great until you learn how to fail.
Good luck man.
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Agree about the part regarding insecurities.
The girl that you're thinking about talking to is probably just as nervous as you, maybe even more so.
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Yeah deep down it is a self esteem issue. I honestly think that's what my problem is. I'm not happy with myself, but the thing is I have no idea where it stems from.
I'm getting better over time but its an extremely slow process. And some days I feel like I take major steps back.
Like I said in one of the previous posts, it could be a million things that you could have experienced in your entire lifetime. Are you going to go back your entire life and pin-point it? I did just that. All thousands of them. What a waste of time. It did not help me out one bit. Why? Because I still had problems in the present, and they we're not effected by my problems in my past. I figured out those problems in my past and it was therapeutic to think about it, but in all truthfulness, the only person that the information could have helped was my past self, and ONLY IF I could have gotten that information to my past self before-hand. :kanyeshrug
But the truth is that that person does not exist anymore. I am not the same person from back then. One year from now, you will be a different person. Six months from now even. You are growing rapidly, you just can't observe it day-to-day and it goes unnoticed. Now imagine an 18 y/o self trying to give you advice on your problems of today? :x
This is a good thread. A lot of sound advice in here.
If any of you believe in Magick, take an invisible black cloak and drape yourself in it when you feel anxious or nervous. It will protect you and comfort you naturally. These cloaks have the power to block thoughts from going in or out. People cannot read what you are thinking, and the bad thoughts of other's cannot effect you. You will immediately feel the weight rise up off of you, and to the outside world, you will appear normal like everyone else, as the cloak is invisible.
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Yeah deep down it is a self esteem issue. I honestly think that's what my problem is. I'm not happy with myself, but the thing is I have no idea where it stems from.
I'm getting better over time but its an extremely slow process. And some days I feel like I take major steps back.
Where you physically or mentally abused when you wee younger?
Humbled
formerly whatslosinlike
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Yeah deep down it is a self esteem issue. I honestly think that's what my problem is. I'm not happy with myself, but the thing is I have no idea where it stems from.
I'm getting better over time but its an extremely slow process. And some days I feel like I take major steps back.
Where you physically or mentally abused when you wee younger?
nope, i had a great childhood.
i used to be pretty outgoing until about when high school started. no idea what changed me
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Yeah deep down it is a self esteem issue. I honestly think that's what my problem is. I'm not happy with myself, but the thing is I have no idea where it stems from.
I'm getting better over time but its an extremely slow process. And some days I feel like I take major steps back.
Where you physically or mentally abused when you wee younger?
nope, i had a great childhood.
i used to be pretty outgoing until about when high school started. no idea what changed me
Therapy is always an option.
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Touché
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i struggle with the samething bro. I can't talk to girls or people for that matter. i dont have friends. i have never approached a female.all the girls i have been with have approached me(which explains why they all turned out to be *****) and im not a young cat no more. Im not the best looking dude, i workout though. i look like derek fisher.im broke. Its sucks being awkward and to have no game so to say.
everytime i try to be nice to females i get shunned.lately i only gotten approached by straight fat wack looking girls. im not looking for top notch but damn my ex's were pretty decent looking.id say solid sevens.
everytime i try to be nice to females i get shunned.lately i only gotten approached by straight fat wack looking girls. im not looking for top notch but damn my ex's were pretty decent looking.id say solid sevens.
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Humbled
formerly whatslosinlike
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Bruh. Awkward or not just OWN it. Don't be insecure about yourself. That'll go a long way instead of Tryna be something u not.
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This made me laugh for some reason. Not laughing at you, just the randomness of that statement.
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That is the realest s*** i ever seen on here lol
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Son kept it ALL the way honest
It honestly sounds like you should take this downtime to get yourself in a better place, for yourself. You don't enjoy being broke clearly, so figure out how to get your pockets fatter. I don't even know what advice to give a grown man with no friends. That doesn't seem to be all too uncommon. I'm only 19, but I've just managed to fall into friendships everywhere I go; even in my most awkward/shy state. I feel like you're overthinking it. I've made friends over everything from sneakers, to mutual hatred of a class, to video games, to just random conversation out and about leading to jokes. Just go to places where things that interest you are and strike up convos naturally with people near you. As an awkward dude, I know that you're probably extra conscious of yourself when talking to strangers. Use that to your advantage. Try not to stutter, or seem uncomfortable. Pretty much trial and error from there, but even failure will make you feel good since you know you tried.
However, at 19 I'm still figuring out how to overcome the whole talking to women that you completely have no connection to part out as well. I usually just smile and wave with anyone attractive who makes eye contact with me and doesn't look angry at life
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no hair d fish ..... no dont have friends. acquaINTANCEs yes but nobody that calls me up to do anything besides play pickup basketball. add to the fact i'm a single father with twin two year old daughter and no help from anyone besides my folks to watch them when they are asleep which is why i cant work. been looking for graveyard job to no avail..sorry to go off topic. So all this and i have social anxiety.
Hair or no hair Derek Fisher?Not even friends though?
I feel like i have scratchers type odds against me but i still try and remain as positive as i can be .
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just don't do that introverted circle jerk thing
I'm socially awkward/interovereted and ain't nothing wrong with that. There's no one way is better than the other, but if you think being that way is somehow better and you use that to reassure yourself, it's just becomes cyclical
I'm socially awkward/interovereted and ain't nothing wrong with that. There's no one way is better than the other, but if you think being that way is somehow better and you use that to reassure yourself, it's just becomes cyclical
cliffordsmith
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Damb.no hair d fish ..... no dont have friends. acquaINTANCEs yes but nobody that calls me up to do anything besides play pickup basketball. add to the fact i'm a single father with twin two year old daughter and no help from anyone besides my folks to watch them when they are asleep which is why i cant work. been looking for graveyard job to no avail..sorry to go off topic. So all this and i have social anxiety.
Hair or no hair Derek Fisher?Not even friends though?
I feel like i have scratchers type odds against me but i still try and remain as positive as i can be .
idk what to say.
You got twins, a single father, no job, and social anxiety.
Damb son. I'd think if someone had kids they wouldn't really have social anxiety.
Yo baby mama just left you with the twin daughters? What happened to their mom?
I hope your trolling. No one can have it that bad.
Humbled
formerly whatslosinlike
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no hair d fish ..... no dont have friends. acquaINTANCEs yes but nobody that calls me up to do anything besides play pickup basketball. add to the fact i'm a single father with twin two year old daughter and no help from anyone besides my folks to watch them when they are asleep which is why i cant work. been looking for graveyard job to no avail..sorry to go off topic. So all this and i have social anxiety.
Hair or no hair Derek Fisher?
I feel like i have scratchers type odds against me but i still try and remain as positive as i can be .
post made me appreciate my life a lil bit more. keep your head up bro. youre a better man than i am |I
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This is going to sound weird, but sometimes I pretend that I'm a white person.
Like, I make an effort in doing an impersonation of a nosy white dude, but with my voice, and just channel that.
Every minority has done it for laughs, but it's a good tool.
WWWPS, what would a white person say.
OP, I'm sorry if you're white, though.
Like, I make an effort in doing an impersonation of a nosy white dude, but with my voice, and just channel that.
Every minority has done it for laughs, but it's a good tool.
WWWPS, what would a white person say.
OP, I'm sorry if you're white, though.
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Is your BM deceased ? if not
what kind of winch leaves two twin daughters.
All my life I been dreaming of twin daughters
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as ive mentioned in other threads. she was cheating on me , said she was tired of being a wife and a mother and left me and my girls to be with someother dude. havent heard from her in awhile nor do i want to hear from her..............Is your BM deceased ? if not
what kind of winch leaves two twin daughters.
All my life I been dreaming of twin daughters
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TF, lol
Humbled
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