Anyone Got Jokes. Part 2

[rone air]

Originally Posted by demkix

There's these 2 muffins in an oven.
They're both sitting, just chilling and getting baked.
And one of them yells "God Damn, it's hot in here!"
And the other muffin replies "Holy Crap, a talking muffin!"

  

 

[tizoni]

Originally Posted by Spectacular23

Originally Posted by ricky409

Originally Posted by Spectacular23

well are you

nope

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lulz

og vid??

 

[MetalMario]

Wanna hear a joke?

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Women's rights

What do you call a black person who can fly a plane?

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A pilot... what did you think it was gonna be racist?

 

[|A-Man|]

Can anybody tell me what this Daniel Tosh rape joke was? Can't find a vid anywhere. I don't think he's funny but I appreciate good rape jokes.

Also, I'm not getting the skeleton in bar beer and mop joke. It's probably right in my face but it's late and I'm thinking too hard about it

 

[Spectacular23]

Originally Posted by ATGD7154xBBxMZ

Can anybody tell me what this Daniel Tosh rape joke was? Can't find a vid anywhere. I don't think he's funny but I appreciate good rape jokes.

Also, I'm not getting the skeleton in bar beer and mop joke. It's probably right in my face but it's late and I'm thinking too hard about it

He's a skeleton, so once he drinks the beer its gonna go right through him and the mop to clean it up

 

[kiiing]

Originally Posted by tree4twenty

Originally Posted by Carver

A guy goes into a doctor's office complaining of pain. The doctor asks, "where does it hurt?" The guy touches his arm and says ouch. Then he touches his knee and says owwwwwch. Then he touches his stomach and says owwww. "It hurts everywhere" he tells the doctor.
The doctor says... "you don't hurt everywhere... you're finger is broken."

Heard this the other day on Bob and Tom..that guy had me rolling..

Heard the blonde version of this. 
What is invisible and smells like carrots?

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Rabbit farts.

 

[je ne sais quoi]

My dad told me this joke.

What are the three rings of marriage?
1) Engagement Ring
2) Wedding Ring
3) Suffering

My mom and newly-wed brother just stonefaced while I was laughing.

 

[hassan16]

Originally Posted by grandtheftbike

A skeleton walks into a bar, orders a beer and a mop

 

[es el]

A guy walks into a bar





.........ouch!!!

 

[chuxndunx]

Good jokes but stories are long to read. Anybody got some good ol' 1 liners?

 

[iYen]

These threads are hilarious. Does anyone know where I can find that joke about a bread funeral and it had a lot of puns about bread in it?

 

[lou baton]

A piece of string walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve strings here."

The string goes back to his table. He ties himself in a loop and messes up his ends a little bit. He walks back up to the bar and orders a beer.

The bartender says, "Hey, aren't you same piece of string that was just up here?"

The string says, "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."

 

[Spectacular23]

found my thread, yes

 

[Junok]

A piece of string walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve strings here."


The string goes back to his table. He ties himself in a loop and messes up his ends a little bit. He walks back up to the bar and orders a beer.


The bartender says, "Hey, aren't you same piece of string that was just up here?"


The string says, "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."

 

[decemberlove]

joke:

SNEAKERTALK


hahahhahahahahahhaahah

 

[iheartboost]

A man is surprised to receives a call from his doctor.

The doctor says, "I'm sorry, but I have some bad news and some worse news."

"Well, alright, give me the bad news first," said the man.

"Well," said the doctor, "The bad news is that you only have 24 hours to live."

"Holy Cow! That is some bad news!" the man exclaimed. "What news could be worse than that?" he asked.

"The worse news is that I have been trying to reach you since yesterday."

A skeleton walks into a bar, orders a beer and a mop

 

[lil black jean jacket]

I just tried to change my password to penis, but my email said it was too short

 

[bendover]

There was a HUGE party in the animal kingdom and everyone is getting WASTES. All of a sudden the beer runs out so they ask who's getting the brew? Whoever has drank the least! They all look at the turtle and he's drinking HELLA slow. They throw him the money and kick him out the door. Hours start passing by. 1 hour 2 hours 3 hours 4 hours. They say where is that dumb slow turtle. Then they hear a knock on the door, the turtle says " IF YOU GUYS ARE TALKING MESS IM NOT GOING NOMORE"

 

[jaysrcrak]

Heard this bad joke going around lately.

Man walks into a shoe store to buy shoes. The store manager says "were having a raffle"

 

[mycoldyourdone]

What do you call a fat computer?

Adele

 

[lil black jean jacket]

A poor man went to the store to buy his wife a Christmas present.


As the cashier rung up the purchase, a pair of slippers and a dildo, he had to ask the man why he would buy these two items...


The man said the slippers were her present and if she didn't like them she could go **** herself

 

[lil black jean jacket]

Roses are...

 

[beacon ave south]

what did the mexican say when the roof fell on him?








































Get off me homes





keke

 

[Ox.]

Why was the hooker so patriotic?



















Bc she wore red, white & blew.

 

[a blinkin]

A piece of string walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve strings here."


The string goes back to his table. He ties himself in a loop and messes up his ends a little bit. He walks back up to the bar and orders a beer.


The bartender says, "Hey, aren't you same piece of string that was just up here?"


The string says, "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."

What do you call a fat computer?

Adele

Cold blooded