Nonbelievers who have told their religious parents that they don't believe enter

[milestailsprowe]

I'm waiting till I'm own my own but for some strange reason I thought about being Jewish then surpising them. Oh well I will be out of college in a year or two so maybe in 3 years I can start to speak my mind with my family.

 

[|A-Man|]

If my parents actually took their religion seriously other than being ignorant and passive about it, only invoking the fairy tale in arguments or when convenient maybe I'd take them seriously enough to address them on my views given their prejudices and stubbornness there's no reason for me to bother.

 

[scientific method]

Originally Posted by HankMoody

Originally Posted by Scientific Method

Why should he have to go through all of that and care about the feelings of believers being hurt by his nonbelief when nobody has to do the same for him, nor can really come up with more to "justify" their belief than being raised that way and meaningless, overdone, cliches of "look at everything God has done for me, been with me every step of the way," nonsense.

It's called being an adult and having a civil conversation. Being that disrespectful to anyone in any walk of life is not productive at all. 
"Dad, your life? Completely meaningless and terrible. What's for dinner, by the way? "

You don't care about anyone's feelings? That's great. How's that working out for you, if I may ask? 

OP's answers were civil and people are telling him he was being disrespectful and he should just pretend for his Dad's sake, or pretend to leave the door open and lie about it so his dad feels better about it. That seems kind of oppressive, especially given his Dad said he wasn't going to do anything for him in life anymore since he doesn't accept his God.

 

[hankmoody]

Originally Posted by Scientific Method

Originally Posted by HankMoody

Originally Posted by Scientific Method

Why should he have to go through all of that and care about the feelings of believers being hurt by his nonbelief when nobody has to do the same for him, nor can really come up with more to "justify" their belief than being raised that way and meaningless, overdone, cliches of "look at everything God has done for me, been with me every step of the way," nonsense.

It's called being an adult and having a civil conversation. Being that disrespectful to anyone in any walk of life is not productive at all. 
"Dad, your life? Completely meaningless and terrible. What's for dinner, by the way? "

You don't care about anyone's feelings? That's great. How's that working out for you, if I may ask? 

OP's answers were civil and people are telling him he was being disrespectful and he should just pretend for his Dad's sake, or pretend to leave the door open and lie about it so his dad feels better about it. That seems kind of oppressive, especially given his Dad said he wasn't going to do anything for him in life anymore since he doesn't accept his God.

I do agree that his Dad's visceral reaction was wrong but that doesn't automatically mean OP was right. Someone has to be the bigger person here. Why not OP? 

 

[toliveanddieinnj]

My dad goes to church, by himself, my mom prob believes in God, IDK, never asked. I went to Catholic school my whole life, so I'm fairly knowledgeable on Christianity, I just don't see it. I think ppl gravitate to the community aspect more than anything else, which is cool. Me and my pops never even discuss church/God though. However he does make us say grace as a family and he always says grace if he's eating lunch or whatever by himself.

 

[Peep Game]

Originally Posted by Rusty Shackelford

I cant wait for silly putty's size 300 font response

 

[scientific method]

Originally Posted by HankMoody

Originally Posted by Scientific Method

Originally Posted by HankMoody

Originally Posted by Scientific Method

Why should he have to go through all of that and care about the feelings of believers being hurt by his nonbelief when nobody has to do the same for him, nor can really come up with more to "justify" their belief than being raised that way and meaningless, overdone, cliches of "look at everything God has done for me, been with me every step of the way," nonsense.

It's called being an adult and having a civil conversation. Being that disrespectful to anyone in any walk of life is not productive at all. 
"Dad, your life? Completely meaningless and terrible. What's for dinner, by the way? "

You don't care about anyone's feelings? That's great. How's that working out for you, if I may ask? 

OP's answers were civil and people are telling him he was being disrespectful and he should just pretend for his Dad's sake, or pretend to leave the door open and lie about it so his dad feels better about it. That seems kind of oppressive, especially given his Dad said he wasn't going to do anything for him in life anymore since he doesn't accept his God.

I do agree that his Dad's visceral reaction was wrong but that doesn't automatically mean OP was right. Someone has to be the bigger person here. Why not OP? 

So pretending you believe in Jesus so as not to upset someone else equals being the bigger person?

 

[hankmoody]

Originally Posted by Scientific Method

Originally Posted by HankMoody

Originally Posted by Scientific Method



OP's answers were civil and people are telling him he was being disrespectful and he should just pretend for his Dad's sake, or pretend to leave the door open and lie about it so his dad feels better about it. That seems kind of oppressive, especially given his Dad said he wasn't going to do anything for him in life anymore since he doesn't accept his God.

I do agree that his Dad's visceral reaction was wrong but that doesn't automatically mean OP was right. Someone has to be the bigger person here. Why not OP? 

So pretending you believe in Jesus so as not to upset someone else equals being the bigger person?

Where did I say this?

 

 

[scientific method]

Then what is "being the bigger person" in the context of this conversation and what you want OP to do when you say, Someone has to be the bigger person here. Why not OP?

 

[hankmoody]

Did you even read my first post in this thread?

 

[scientific method]

Yep.
That he should pretend like he might believe in God, to try and make his Dad feel better about it?

I still fail to see how anything he said to his Dad was disrespectful in the least; certainly never called his life meaningless, huge strawman argument on your part.

 

[jrdnsrnss]

My parents know that i'm not big on religion anymore. I was raised as a catholic and went to Catholic school throughout elementary school and part of middle school. As i got older i started to believe less and less in it. I go to church maybe once or twice a year now. Both of my parents are catholic but their not that into it, they don't go to church too often either. I've told them i don't really believe in God and their open minded about it. They said they just wanted to raise me with some kind of religion/faith when i was younger and when i got older it was up to me to keep believing in it or pursue another faith or just not follow any sect whatsoever.

 

[yeah]

My mom and dad divorced when I was about 3 or 4, and I stayed with my mom for most of my life. My dad is very religious, and while my mom believes in god/a higher power, she never really forced her beliefs on me while growing up. She was never one to really attend church very often, and once she realized that I didn't really like church she stopped forcing the issue on me.

My dad is completely opposite, and as I grew older I spent more time with him. From the time he was a child my grandmother kept him and his brothers in the church. They were raised as Seventh-day Adventists and studied the Bible as though their life depended on it. As he grew older he stopped attending church as much just because of his busy schedule and his second wife being a Southern Baptist (who wanted to raise their kids as Bapists,) but his beliefs were still very much intact, and remain to be to this day.

The religious talks began when I started regularly visiting in 5th grade. Not really approaching me directly about my beliefs, but he'd ask me what I thought about the bible, whether or not I liked church, stuff like that. He would always allude to how much God had done for him, how much his faith shaped his life, and would encourage me to seek out God for guidance. I would always say something like "Yeah... I'll do that... " but I never really did. Then he started taking me to church with his wife to expose me to it, and I felt so out of place there. We would get into mini-arguments about it when I first started high school. I knew he didn't attend church when I wasn't with him, so I would often use that as my defense for not wanting to go and not explicitly say that I didn't believe in the bible or the words the pastor would say.

It wasn't until about my senior year of HS that the talks started changing. I stopped making excuses and simply started telling him that I didn't like the church, the bible, or any other aspects of it because it didn't resonate with me. I had been forced to attend Sunday School and actually looked into the history behind the bible so he knew it simply wasn't because I was being stubborn and didn't know about the faith. I think he realized that I simply didn't believe in the bible, or many Christian beliefs. He went from telling me to find God to find something that resonated with me.... and I can't say how much that changed my life. I went from just knowing about Christianity (and, by proxy, Judaism) to Hinduism, Shintoism, Buddhism, Islam, and Taoism/Confucianism. I stopped flying to his house and began driving, and during the trips we'd often have deep philosophical talks about what I had learned about different faiths, what I thought about them, and compared/contrasted the foundations of the different belief systems.

I think through those talks his beliefs changed a little as well. He told me that he rediscovered his faith through talking to me, and just from living life in general. His faith in the church is even lower, but he says that his beliefs couldn't be stronger. Personally, I learned a lot about myself and how difficult it can be to step outside of your comfort zone in looking into different faiths. I can't explain in words the looks I've received from librarians when I've asked for information on the Tanakh, the Kojiki, etc. But through that, I can say that I'm certainly a more rounded person and know why it is that I choose to practice the beliefs that I do, rather than simply adhering to tradition and not exploring everything that there is.

While I don't really like to categorizing people based on their faith and beliefs (I've found through talking to people that pretty much everyone has different beliefs, no matter how orthodox or how relaxed they are about it, I've never met two people that shared all of the same religious beliefs) I would say that I most closely identify with Buddhism and have been lackadaisically studying the religious texts ever since I discovered the Four Noble Truths and began to read the accounts of Buddha from his pupils. I can honestly say that through my faith, I've become a better person, and I think that's all that my dad really wanted to see. For that, I'm thankful.

I just realized I wrote an essay. I'm still clicking "post" though.

 

[antonlavey]

Originally Posted by Scientific Method

Yep.
That he should pretend like he might believe in God, to try and make his Dad feel better about it?

I still fail to see how anything he said to his Dad was disrespectful in the least; certainly never called his life meaningless, huge strawman argument on your part.

The very idea of non-belief is offensive to religious people, that's why they go out of their way to turn others to their religion.

I think the closest I've come is when I told my dad I wasn't catholic, I didn't even say I didn't believe in God. Dude went on a rant about how Catholicism is the "correct religion".

 

[hankmoody]

Originally Posted by Scientific Method

Yep.
That he should pretend like he might believe in God, to try and make his Dad feel better about it?

I still fail to see how anything he said to his Dad was disrespectful in the least; certainly never called his life meaningless, huge strawman argument on your part.

Implicitly, he did. I just don't see the point in being belligerent in something like this. Why not preach the openness of one's mind and a journey instead of finality? He says he doesn't believe in God. But then what does he believe in? I always try to promote understanding in these situations. My parents know I don't pray to Krishna Bhagwan.  They know I believe in a more secular humanist approach to life but that doesn't mean I'm set in my ways. They know I am always open to talk about it. I don't think my Mom could have got through her brother's illness and death with as much strength as she had without religion.  I can never say I don't completely believe in her God because I believe in her. It's just a more open approach to life. 
Religion is not the enemy; dogma is. Now you might think the two are inextricably intertwined but I don't (see any ideology that has ever existed). 

I think this is a great chance for OP to start a lifelong conversation with his Dad.  I say he should take advantage of it. Feel me?

 

[mycoldyourdone]

my mom is VERY active at the catholic church i grew up in. she knows my stance and weve talked about it. but all i got from it is that she thinks my light will come in the future. ok.

she was probably heartbroken, but whatever the sooner the better. i didnt have it as easy as you, since weve been going to church every sunday and i had to talk about something once i decided not to go anymore.

 

[romedadude]

After reading some of yalls responses I don't think I'll tell any of my family I'm not religious. I've also thought about how many black females I'll lose out on too, even thought they'll suck and @$%! you like no tomorrow, they still want a "Christian man". *Kanye shrug*

So I'll just go along living my life and won't bring it up until I'm financially independent and what not.

 

[sillyputty]

Originally Posted by AntonLaVey

Originally Posted by Scientific Method

Yep.
That he should pretend like he might believe in God, to try and make his Dad feel better about it?

I still fail to see how anything he said to his Dad was disrespectful in the least; certainly never called his life meaningless, huge strawman argument on your part.

The very idea of non-belief is offensive to religious people, that's why they go out of their way to turn others to their religion.

I think the closest I've come is when I told my dad I wasn't catholic, I didn't even say I didn't believe in God. Dude went on a rant about how Catholicism is the "correct religion".

The thing that eats me up from the inside...
Is that your dad is Nigerian.

As if he wasn't forced into that from the imperialists hundreds of years ago. 

As if Nigerians didn't have their own spiritual beliefs before that.

 

Thats the most heart-breaking thing I really see.

Like Koreans trying to tell me about Jesus...like are you SERIOUS?! 

Anyways, to all you closet atheists/nonbelievers forced to be in the pews today, here you go: 

 

[antonlavey]

Originally Posted by sillyputty

Originally Posted by AntonLaVey

Originally Posted by Scientific Method

Yep.
That he should pretend like he might believe in God, to try and make his Dad feel better about it?

I still fail to see how anything he said to his Dad was disrespectful in the least; certainly never called his life meaningless, huge strawman argument on your part.

The very idea of non-belief is offensive to religious people, that's why they go out of their way to turn others to their religion.

I think the closest I've come is when I told my dad I wasn't catholic, I didn't even say I didn't believe in God. Dude went on a rant about how Catholicism is the "correct religion".

The thing that eats me up from the inside...
Is that your dad is Nigerian.

As if he wasn't forced into that from the imperialists hundreds of years ago. 

As if Nigerians didn't have their own spiritual beliefs before that.

 

Thats the most heart-breaking thing I really see.

Like Koreans trying to tell me about Jesus...like are you SERIOUS?! 

Anyways, to all you closet atheists/nonbelievers forced to be in the pews today, here you go: 

Asian Christians makes me boy heated

I love how many Africans acknowledge the grip European imperialism has had on Africa then turn around basically credit the white man with "saving their souls"

 

[160jordansdeep]

religion is for the birds

 

[antbanks81]

I'm a believer

You've made a decision that is not popular with your parents. You have to be prepared to handle things that come with that decision.

We all have to grow up on our own. Maybe you will grow to believe one day.

I was thinking the other day that if we believers were wrong, the worst thing that would happen would be we're dead. BUT, in the chance we are right, WOW!! I'm not going to argue with any of you that don't believe.

I'm no expert in science...hell, I barely passed the subject throughout my years of school. BUT, I just can't vibe with the idea that there was this big boom and then everything just started happening.

 

[Peep Game]

So I'm assuming no one's watching the Broncos/Steelers game right now?

 

[superblytrife]

Some of the responses in this thread explain A LOT about a few of the e-personalities here on NT. Very, very telling thread.

If I were in that position, I'd just always try to remain respectful even though you know you don't jive with what your parents believe. I'm sure that's tough to do, but I think being respectful even in the face of opposition would do more good than just clashing/arguing.

On the flipside, I can't get down with any parents that would disown their kid based on their religious beliefs. Being upset? Sure. Not agreeing? Okay. But disowning? Naw...there's nothing my kid could ever do that would make me turn my back on her.

 

[scientific method]

Originally Posted by AntBanks81

I'm a believer

You've made a decision that is not popular with your parents. You have to be prepared to handle things that come with that decision.

We all have to grow up on our own. Maybe you will grow to believe one day.

I was thinking the other day that if we believers were wrong, the worst thing that would happen would be we're dead. BUT, in the chance we are right, WOW!! I'm not going to argue with any of you that don't believe.

I'm no expert in science...hell, I barely passed the subject throughout my years of school. BUT, I just can't vibe with the idea that there was this big boom and then everything just started happening.

Except isn't your God allegedly all knowing? So he would, therefore, know you are just playing the "just in case" game and therefore not honor that.

And funny you can't vibe with a Big Boom, but talking bushes, dudes getting swallowed by fish and living in the stomach for 3 days, Red Sea splitting so people can walk through, guys living to be 969, sticks being turned to snakes and water turned to wine, virgin births; all of that sounds reasonable.

Even still, as a believer you run into that same "gotcha" as people who believe in the Big Boom. At some point there was nothing and then God just appeared out of nowhere, well who created him?

So in terms of rational explanations, 0-0. You could argue both belief and science fail. Everything after that, yea everything you guys believe in henceforth is hard to believe to say the least.

Funniest thing about the Bible the vast majority of Christians don't even get is, how many people God killed in the Bible in comparison to Satan, and we're supposed to take Satan as the bad one.

 

[antonlavey]

Originally Posted by Scientific Method

Originally Posted by AntBanks81

I'm a believer

You've made a decision that is not popular with your parents. You have to be prepared to handle things that come with that decision.

We all have to grow up on our own. Maybe you will grow to believe one day.

I was thinking the other day that if we believers were wrong, the worst thing that would happen would be we're dead. BUT, in the chance we are right, WOW!! I'm not going to argue with any of you that don't believe.

I'm no expert in science...hell, I barely passed the subject throughout my years of school. BUT, I just can't vibe with the idea that there was this big boom and then everything just started happening.

Except isn't your God allegedly all knowing? So he would, therefore, know you are just playing the "just in case" game and therefore not honor that.

And funny you can't vibe with a Big Boom, but talking bushes, dudes getting swallowed by fish and living in the stomach for 3 days, Red Sea splitting so people can walk through, guys living to be 969, sticks being turned to snakes and water turned to wine, virgin births; all of that sounds reasonable.

Even still, as a believer you run into that same "gotcha" as people who believe in the Big Boom. At some point there was nothing and then God just appeared out of nowhere, well who created him?

So in terms of rational explanations, 0-0. You could argue both belief and science fail. Everything after that, yea everything you guys believe in henceforth is hard to believe to say the least.

Funniest thing about the Bible the vast majority of Christians don't even get is, how many people God killed in the Bible in comparison to Satan, and we're supposed to take Satan as the bad one.

This question always gets them