Sibling Issues. Vol Too Old For This

[dt43]

I don't have siblings but it sounds like there are some deeper issues. One comment like that shouldn't create that much distance. How is she doing in life? Maybe she's jealous of you if you're doing well. Our maybe she feels like your parents like you better.

She couldnt really be jealous of my situation or how our parents treat me vs how they treat her. At the time we were both in school, in fact the same university. Our parents treat us pretty much the same as well.

Im not the only one she has problems with though. Her and my mother always get in to an argument and will often stop speaking for awhile, her 3 roommates/teammates stopped talking to her after the first semester, she was close friends with 2 other girls from the team that lived in another dorm but by the end of the year they stopped speaking, same story with numerous friends from highschool.

tbh OP, I recently just got over a looong beef I was having with my sister and let me tell you, there's no way you can succeed in life if you can't get things right with your fam. Me and my sister aren't alike at ALL, but at the end of the day I just told myself you know what, that's my sister and she's the only sister I have in the world. I can have issues with other random girls I meet outside, but my sister who I grew up with and is an integral part of my human experience on this earth? Nahh.. nothing is worth not maintaining that relationship.

I definitely feel you on that and that's why I tried to remain brother and sister. But it's like you say the same negative thing over and over, and I forgave you countless times before. But then to say something like that without me even saying ANYTHING negative towards her and then not apologize or anything. Im not sure what else there is to do besides wish the best for her and hope she grows up.

Well in my case my sister was older, also it was partly my fault. But in your case, it seems like it's mainly her? If that's the case and there's genuinely nothing you are doing to subtly annoy her or anything, then it just means she has a problem and you need to give her her space to figure her **** out.

You said that you guys were cool until she was 15. That means that she has 15 years of positive memories with you, there's no way she doesn't care about you deep down. Most likely she's going through an identity crisis and has some crazy insecurities that prevent her from feeling close to people or fostering positive relationships. Obviously she has some problems that she needs to work through. Eventually she will realize that pushing people away gets you nowhere in life, but you have to let her realize that on her own. My dad is kind of like that, dude is kind of a coldhearted ahole and ruined a lot of aspects of my childhood, but after a while I just accepted the fact that he has a problem and stopped letting him get to me.

 

[heliumclinton]

Homeboy who is mad at his sister because she didn't let him crash at her spot, you need to let that go. That's real petty considering you made the decision without even asking her

 

[cedric ceballos]

Homeboy who is mad at his sister because she didn't let him crash at her spot, you need to let that go. That's real petty considering you made the decision without even asking her

Was thinking the same thing. Wouldn't have hurt to ask her prior to making the decision.

 

[fresh out dabox]

That's insane.
Your sister needs help.

 

[iYen]

What did you used to do to your sis that made her hate you?

Seems like you're purposely leaving that part out so nt sides with you.

 

[eiddyfouw]

Man you're not alone. I've been through the same thing with my sister. And she's like 8 years older than me (I'm in my late twenties btw). But still, she believes, she can say what she wants, and not apologize even when she is furthest from the truth. She can take a misconception (from her side) and turn it into ridiculous statements in which she believes she is right. The most recent outburst I didn't speak to her for about 6 months. It used to bother me. But recently I realized, even if I didn't speak to her for years, it wouldn't really bother me. Some folks just don't see eye to eye. We work BEST when we live on different continents, seeing each other once every year. It just is what it is....I've always wanted to grow up with siblings that I was very close with.....but then again, I always wanted to grow up as the son of a billionaire....neither happened . Sometimes you just got to accept things the way they are and focus on things you can change...

 

[fontaine]

Bruh, I only have one older brother and he's not even like a brother to me. Like I can't recall us ever having any type of bond, never took me under his wing and did things I feel an older sibling should and was always mean to me coming up. Still see him everyday cause we live together but its rare if we even conversate. I have long time friends I consider more my brother's than I do my own blood

kind of the same boat but we don't see each other.

I'm 24, and he's 30...

relationship never just flowed. our relationship was always fragmented growing up.

today, I'll talk to him for maybe once a month... but I can't just sit and chop it up with him.

I will say it has gotten better... he doesn't look at me as little bro anymore, especially after I whooped his *** a few years back. .

things started changing afterwards, but its not where it should be.

 

[fresh out dabox]

shouldve slapped her tbh

 

[al audi]

My sis an I are cool as hell. 2 years apart. We have a lot of common interest. We text/talk/chill all the time. When we were younger we always fought.

 

[bogusreality]

I'm sorry to hear that, I can't imagine not seeing or talking my obtuse, crazy, siblings.

Although we aren't the type to talk about everything. We do talk. Start somewhere.

 

[sundoobie]

I am there with you except it's all about the mighty dollar.

Borrowing/lending money = end of family relationships!

 

[kevlar shrimp]

I would hate having a sis

too much emotion and you can't snuff em like you would with your bro

 

[Jumanji]

What did you used to do to your sis that made her hate you?
Seems like you're purposely leaving that part out so nt sides with you.

I didnt leave that part out. She told my parents the reason she "hates" me is because I used to call her names when we were younger, like middle school and elementary younger.

I guess I should be saying the same thing to her then? Even after she says stuff like "i hope you fail and never become successful," I didnt even think about wishing something like that let alone say it just to get back at her.

 

[brinknows]

damn thats too bad. kill her with success? hopefully yall can fix it

im an only child so i cant really give much insight, my arguments happen with the voice in my head

 

[iYen]

What did you used to do to your sis that made her hate you?
Seems like you're purposely leaving that part out so nt sides with you.

I didnt leave that part out. She told my parents the reason she "hates" me is because I used to call her names when we were younger, like middle school and elementary younger.

I guess I should be saying the same thing to her then? Even after she says stuff like "i hope you fail and never become successful," I didnt even think about wishing something like that let alone say it just to get back at her.

Name calling? That's it? Are you actually being serious?

Have you apologized and tried to make it up somehow?

Maybe she saw you as a bully, and now that she's "grown" treating you in a similar fashion is her way of getting back at you.

Get to the root of the problem.

I'm no expert, but I suggest you two get therapy.

But that's only if you want your sis in your life.

Your name calling might have hurt her way more than you thought it did.

 

[Jumanji]

^Im dead serious. That was just her piss poor excuse to be honest. I wasnt just going up to her and calling her names and picking on her. Itll be the typical back and forth name calling. And yes I apologized for name calling the first couple of times and assured her I didnt mean any of it cause we were young and just talking .

I dont think WE necessarily need therapy because it's not just an issue between just us two. The same issues come up in every relationship/friendship she has which lead to a bitter ending. Besides me and my sisters, every one of my other relationships/friendships are on good terms.

Like a couple of yall said, I have really good friends that I consider brothers so it doesnt really affect me

 

[SoleByThePound]

I wish my siblings and I were closer, but it is what it is. I haven't spoken to my sister in over a year and a half. The closest relationship I have is with my youngest brother who is 14 years younger than I am. I think we get along so well because we have very similiar personalities and traits.

 

[beh235]

If this true, she's a real petty person and needs to grow up.

 

[rocky437]

I'm in the exact same situation almost to a T, op. She said to me the same thing your sister told you recently. Basically when my sister and I were younger like in elementary school, she would call me names out of the blue.  I'm one year older than her and I was more sensitive at that time. But she'd see me in the house and be offensive literally out of nowhere. She started the entire thing from day one. But I know the reason for it, pure and intense jealousy for me. She to this day can't stand the fact that I'm a lot better looking than her (she's pretty ugly actually) and I always go on dates with girls. She hates that, I'm also smarter and more mature than her, and my younger brother is the exact same as me (I get along with him really well). Although she doesnt pick on my younger brother because he's pretty shy and still shy around women. Today we're older so she's easing off a bit but I basically hate her just because of the stuff she says to me and she knows it, I always avoid her in the house and stuff. My parents don't really do anything about it. 

Bottom Line: my sister has problems and needs help. Clearly she's unhappy with herself. Like two weeks ago she admitted she has anxiety problems. The only part that bothers me the most is that we both might end up working for my family business soon so I might be seeing her everyday lol. What I like though is that she's so stupid and crazy and my parents know it so that business is going to be mine. 

 

[al audi]

Lol thread is funny to me. Who hasn't called their sibling stupid? My sis an I have had physical fights and cussing matches. Even earlier 20s we have had more grown up fights that have hit a nerve with one another. I dunno. Get over it.

 

[htownshoefiend]

Haha **** therapy, siblings can get cut off just like anyone else.

 

[clyde the glide]

Sister sounds like a salty beach.

If you think the relationship is worth it, try to speak with her, see what's wrong, have a lifetime moment.

If not, leave her alone, stack paper, live a good life, and check on her occasionally to see her wallow in misery.

disregard this unless this thread is actually about some random jumpoff and not your sister

 

[freeze]

sister might be a sociopath.

 

[dt43]

I would hate having a sis

too much emotion and you can't snuff em like you would with your bro

I snuffed my older sister a few times when we were kids.. not gonna lie, she got me a couple times too

 

[Coromanti]

Sister sounds like a salty beach.

If you think the relationship is worth it, try to speak with her, see what's wrong, have a lifetime moment.

If not, leave her alone, stack paper, live a good life, and check on her occasionally to see her wallow in misery.

disregard this unless this thread is actually about some random jumpoff and not your sister

Honestly think it could apply equally.  I didn't know my sister until I was 12, and now we're pretty close.

My brother on the other hand, I've known since he was born, and already I feel it'll end up being the latter situation.