TAR - Thread About Relationships vol. Calling TAY Graduates

Discussion in 'General' started by bruce negro, Jan 31, 2019.

  1. steebie j

    steebie j

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    Congrats man

    When i pop the question, we gonna be alone. Doing it in front of nobody. Just me and her.
     
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  2. soychulo

    soychulo Staff Member

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    That’s what I did. Took her to the beach for a breakfast I packed. It was our moment. Everyone else gets to be after the fact.
     
  3. suberzat1

    suberzat1

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    It never really crossed my mind to have the conversation with her dad.

    I have this picture in my mind that would carry the ring with me and pull it out one day while we are out for dinner or drinks when I felt the time was right.

    Ask her if she wanted to spend life with me.


    But what do I know
     
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  4. don adidada

    don adidada

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    Phone sex put her in such a good mood. I could've asked for her bank pin and she would've gave it to me.
     
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  5. adobecs4

    adobecs4

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    I'm definitely going to do mine in private. Only thing is, it'll be a be butt *** cold when I do :lol: going to try and think of a dope, non-OD way to do it
     
  6. steebie j

    steebie j

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    Fellas, at times when me and my girl are having conversations, it’ll lead to a mother-child conversation. The choice of words, tone and what I should do is really frustrating. I’m her eyes what she’s doing is right and whatever I’m doing is wrong. I’ve never seen her take ownership in anything! I don’t wanna grow to resent her.
     
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  7. ecook0808

    ecook0808

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    Informed the pops and he said it sounded like a great idea. We are in motion.

    Going to do in on the beach alone and then big party at night in the Hollywood Hills. Her friends are flying in from all over - SF, NY, Seattle, Chi and STL.
     
  8. iamdef

    iamdef

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    You gotta accept that calling her out is one of the main ways to get her to realize her mistakes and short comings.
    Had a lil argument with my wife about her interrupting me when I'm telling her something. She felt like what she was doing up till this point was good and took it pretty hard that she needed to make some changes. But a closed mouth don't get fed and if you don't tell her she's wrong periodically she's gonna keep thinking she's doing everything right.

    Sometimes I don't want that arguing smoke and I'll swallow my feelings but I'm starting to realize I'm going to suffer in silence until I speak up
     
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  9. bruce negro

    bruce negro

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    I'd start off by saying that when trying to correct dynamics like this, it's super important to approach any correction with a very level and non-aggressive tone. I feel like, in this situation, there are probably specific word choices or things she does that upset you and make it feel like that mother-child conversation. You should actually start a conversation with her while you're not already in one of those conversations, and address those specific actions she does and how you feel it leads to this mother-child conversation dynamic, which is very nonconstructive. Doesn't mean you guys can't have debates or challenging conversations, but it's important to establish a respectful foundation for how you speak to one another in those situations so that those conversations can end on a positive, constructive note.

    There are definitely habits my girlfriend had during the first 1.5 years of our relationship that would drive me up the wall during challenging conversations. Sat down with her during a time when we were both in a good mood and couldn't attribute my bringing up these issues to me being bitter, irritated, etc - it was very clear that I wanted to address these things only because I felt it would make us a better couple, not because of any sort of negative motivation. We chatted and it turned out I did a few things she didn't like either. We both acknowledged our areas of improvement, and over the next few conversations / debates we both put in the effort to think more about how what we said affected the other based on our previous conversation. Things got a LOT better and I think it made us closer - we got to know each other better at a more fundamental level.
     
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  10. dcallamerican

    dcallamerican

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    Is IT possible to travel with your woman and NOT get into at least ONE stupid fight/argument?
     
  11. Mark Antony

    Mark Antony

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    No.
     
  12. ecook0808

    ecook0808

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    Yes
     
  13. dcallamerican

    dcallamerican

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    Maybe it HAS happened, but you don't expect at least something dumb to pop off at some point during the trip? :lol:
     
  14. adobecs4

    adobecs4

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    Nope.
     
  15. adobecs4

    adobecs4

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    Wrong thread
     
  16. MakeNTGreatAgain

    MakeNTGreatAgain

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    Bruh
     
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  17. ecook0808

    ecook0808

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    Each and every trip?
     
  18. nickname.esco

    nickname.esco

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    [​IMG]
     
  19. steebie j

    steebie j

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    Me and my girl never had a smooth trip. It’s always been at least one disagreement.
     
  20. dcallamerican

    dcallamerican

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    Just in general. I just expect something minor/petty to happen but that is due to fatigue of being around the same person nonstop for days and days
     
  21. suberzat1

    suberzat1

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    Yeah, I have this problem with my girl doing so and she has improved over the year with her choice of words. I asked her how does she think that tone of conversation is helpful? She has improved but still annoying overall.
     
  22. ecook0808

    ecook0808

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    Booked the spot for the engagement surprise party.

    All NT is invited
     
  23. steebie j

    steebie j

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    Yea me and my girl talked and we cool now. She didn’t know how she came off with her tone and choice of words. Still work in progress tho.
     
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  24. based mod

    based mod

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    Hollywood hills huh? :nerd:
     
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  25. ecook0808

    ecook0808

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    Yep!

    image.jpg
     
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