What Are Your Thoughts On "Taking Breaks" While In A Relationship

[DCAllAfrican]

Of course I want to hear from KSteezy, IBlink and the rest of the standup dudes but this is open to everyone.

What Are Your Thoughts On "Taking Breaks" While In A Relationship.
Dude really not ready to settle down forever with the woman he wants but he wants to do his thing out there. But he isn't going to do her dirty and do these things behind her back. But he doesn't want to get rid of her forever.

Nothing is specifically wrong with HER but he is just tired of eating the same food day after day. Do you think it is cool to take a break and hopefully get back with her once you got everything out of your system.

Video for beasts

 

[handullz]

taking breaks RARELY works... the guy has to be mature enough to keep his stuff silent, and understand that his girl is getting dug out.

the stuff that happened during the break will come to light. rarely will it make the relationship better

it also depends on the type of break... "eff you... i'm going to my apt" and dont talk for 3 days... is different from "maybe we should take a break for a month" ... the latter will not end well

it all boils to how much you can handle as a man and woman... hopefully, you get some wack yambs, or she get some wack D, that raises the chances of yall geting back together in a healthy relationship.

 

[jesusshuttlesworth34]

Timing is everything...you could have the "perfect" or ideal woman at the wrong time in your life and if you are a mature individual you can leave and pursue whatever you want to do.....a move out of state, a career, other women, sexual sowing of the oats, etc. and if she truly is the one you want...I believe the opportunity will present itself again, otherwise just appreciate the moment in time and don't make it more than what it is.


A lot of cats could never fathom or deal with them leaving a woman behind.....and her even going on a date with another man in their absence and tainting her pure pristine glow.


I was just dating an office in the Navy who was getting out in June and she had aspirations of traveling for an entire year. She was super intelligent, good job in Nuclear Engineering and was even going to cancel her travel aspirations to take a job in DC (which is close to me), but I told her to keep to her wishes and travel because I know what it is like to make a change for someone else or a sacrafice and it is not a wise move.....do everything you want for yourself and if the paths cross at the right time it usually works out. This girl wanted me to travel with her as well, but I knew that is not what I am supposed to be doing right now. It is not easy turning down the opportunity to go to Spain with a beautiful woman and just be free from all responsibility, but I'm good with where things are.

 

[salviboy7]

Breaks are an excuse to cheat.

 

[teamjordan79]

"break" is female language for "i don't know what i want so ima let someone else smash brb"

 

[jesusshuttlesworth34]

taking breaks RARELY works... the guy has to be mature enough to keep his stuff silent, and understand that his girl is getting dug out.
the stuff that happened during the break will come to light. rarely will it make the relationship better
it also depends on the type of break... "eff you... i'm going to my apt" and dont talk for 3 days... is different from "maybe we should take a break for a month" ... the latter will not end well
it all boils to how much you can handle as a man and woman... hopefully, you get some wack yambs, or she get some wack D, that raises the chances of yall geting back together in a healthy relationship.

What kind of girls are you cuffing that get dug out as soon as you bounce.....if she tossed the goods at you so easy, then yes she probably is, but if she was actually a woman worth a damn and had some respect, she would not be getting bent over in the back of a Dennys getting pounded like much of NT thinks. Dating does not equate to "giving up the yambs."

 

[atlsfinest]

I feel you and I've been there before man. It's a tough sport to be in to be honest because you know you have a good woman and don't want to lose her but at the same time you're young and not ready to settle down. In my experience you should just be straight up with her with your intentions. Just don't expect her to put her life on hold for you

 

[putting in work]

Honestly in my opinion... if you're going to take a break you might as well end the relationship.

Both parties will start assuming what the other does and then they'll just go out and do what they want... and in the end both will just end up hurting each other.

 

[pepper]

What kind of girls are you cuffing that get dug out as soon as you bounce.....if she tossed the goods at you so easy, then yes she probably is, but if she was actually a woman worth a damn and had some respect, she would not be getting bent over in the back of a Dennys getting pounded like much of NT thinks. Dating does not equate to "giving up the yambs."

you make sense. I like sense.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Breaks are an excuse to cheat.

Yea that was established in the OP. But if a dude wants to do more but he is stuck, you can't just tell him, "Suck it up and be mature and suppress your non-stop desires."

 

[jesusshuttlesworth34]

Yea that was established in the OP. But if a dude wants to do more but he is stuck, you can't just tell him, "Suck it up and be mature and suppress your non-stop desires."

"I want a girl, when I want a girl
And when I don't want a girl, I want a girl who understands that"

If you suppress those thoughts and feelings you will end up resenting your current partner and souring that relationship....leave on good terms and go explore. Sometimes it takes exploring to appreciate what you have.


People leave jobs for more money/more desireable positions and go back to the old job all the time.....it is no different in relationships.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Yea you are right about the resentment portion of the statement. But damn you just don't want to be that jerk to her. No way not to be the bad guy in that situation man.

 

[handullz]

What kind of girls are you cuffing that get dug out as soon as you bounce.....if she tossed the goods at you so easy, then yes she probably is, but if she was actually a woman worth a damn and had some respect, she would not be getting bent over in the back of a Dennys getting pounded like much of NT thinks. Dating does not equate to "giving up the yambs."

you're right famb...

but lets keep it real... there's most likely a guy lurking that's waiting to pounce... he's been putting nuggets in her ear for awhile. this may sound backwards, but if she steps to you w/ a "break" she's less likely looking for the emotional support b/c she already has it... she doesnt need the sex to lure someone in...

now, if YOU step to her w/ a break, she's going to scramble to get that relationship. she's going to be SUPER VULNERABLE b/c she's desperate to call someone hers.

more times than not, woman go get D b/c they need SOME KIND OF COMPANIONSHIP... chicks stay snuggled up to atleast 1 D...

giving up the yambs GREATLY alters how women think. we try to downplay the psychologival effects giving up the yambs does to women, but its right there even with emotional support.

 

[Grine]

Breaks are an excuse to cheat.

 

[jbpkickz]

"break" is female language for "i don't know what i want so ima let someone else smash brb"

pretty much, women are silly

 

[jesusshuttlesworth34]

Yea you are right about the resentment portion of the statement. But damn you just don't want to be that jerk to her. No way not to be the bad guy in that situation man.

There is nothing bad about being straight up....life isn't fair. Being the bad guy would be lying to her face and building her up, while you are out smashing every other chick in sight. She might hurt for a little bit when you let her down or explain where you are coming from, but she will respect you at least and who knows how things will work out in the future. Lying to her and crushing her fantasy reality would do more long time damage for sure.

 

[jesusshuttlesworth34]

you're right famb...
but lets keep it real... there's most likely a guy lurking that's waiting to pounce... he's been putting nuggets in her ear for awhile. this may sound backwards, but if she steps to you w/ a "break" she's less likely looking for the emotional support b/c she already has it... she doesnt need the sex to lure someone in...
now, if YOU step to her w/ a break, she's going to scramble to get that relationship. she's going to be SUPER VULNERABLE b/c she's desperate to call someone hers.
more times than not, woman go get D b/c they need SOME KIND OF COMPANIONSHIP... chicks stay snuggled up to atleast 1 D...
giving up the yambs GREATLY alters how women think. we try to downplay the psychologival effects giving up the yambs does to women, but its right there even with emotional support.

There are guys lurking everywhere my man....she is a WOMAN. This is what I tell folks, it doesn't matter where a woman goes so stop trying to control your lady. Women get hit on at the club, the grocery store, the gym, at work, etc.....if she is a skeezer who has hoish tendencies, she will cheat on you. It is your job to pick better women with better character and higher morals.

When your a confident male who is a decent person/outgoing.....you have nothing to worry about. Other people can sense insecurity and it is unattractive.

Quit picking and wifing these weak *** women and making them keepers.

Bad move.

 

[firmeporvida]

Let's be honest here, there's no such thing as a "break". You either break-up or stay together.

I get the feeling that you have a good girl, but you're not ready to settle down, so you want to get out there and do your thing (I'm not specifically meaning to you wanting to see other girls) - you can't have your cake and eat it too.

As stated, timing is everything. If you're not ready to stay committed (for whatever reason), be honest with yourself and her. Don't worry about losing her or worry about her going off and sleeping with random dudes (you'll only be kill yourself for thinking about that) but focus on a logical reasoning as to why you want to end the relationship (yes, this means pretending you need a break).

 

[jesusshuttlesworth34]

I think folks have an unreal expectation or view point of relationships....people think EVERY relationship is going to be the one and last forever. You should take something out of each relationship....learn/grow and realize that it is ok to end a relationship on a positive note and not hate the other person.

 

[handullz]

There are guys lurking everywhere my man....she is a WOMAN. This is what I tell folks, it doesn't matter where a woman goes so stop trying to control your lady. Women get hit on at the club, the grocery store, the gym, at work, etc.....if she is a skeezer who has hoish tendencies, she will cheat on you. It is your job to pick better women with better character and higher morals.
When your a confident male who is a decent person/outgoing.....you have nothing to worry about. Other people can sense insecurity and it is unattractive.
Quit picking and wifing these weak *** women and making them keepers.
Bad move.

again, i'm with you on what you're saying.

except it doesnt address the issues i'm talking about. If you deny that women... WOMEN crave companionship, you're just ignoring natural inclinations. She doesnt have to be a skeezer and have garden tool tendicies to go out and get it...

you're calling girls weak b/c they're susceptible to game? we ALL know that timing + the right game = yambs or emotional attachment... that's just how it is, bruh...

and regards to being a confident person, i agree one hunnid percent. but YOUR confidence is not going to stop OTHER guys from spitting... and we all know that the first 3 days within meeting a woman, they project all their desires onto you... that's why i said in my first post that you have to be STRONG ENOUGH AND MATURE ENOUGH to be able to handle it..

or confident...

it seems like i'm kinda getting away from the subject at hand. being emotionally vulnerable =/= being weak. minded women.

emotional vulnerability > guys taking advantage of it > sex... and sex changes a lot..

SN: i'm not trying to make this take a negative tone... just healthy talk.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

I think folks have an unreal expectation or view point of relationships....people think EVERY relationship is going to be the one and last forever. You should take something out of each relationship....learn/grow and realize that it is ok to end a relationship on a positive note and not hate the other person.

Yea my boy was talking to me about that. He says he hates how people come up to him asking him if, "Yall getting married anytime soon." He says we view it as Marriage = Success. Anything Else = Failure.

 

[jhawk826]

There's no such thing as a break. When one person decides that they need a break, its time to dead the relationship. I wouldn't be comfortable with letting my partner go on a break, "do her" and then come back like nothing ever happened. For us to take a break it meant that something was wrong that couldn't be rectified.

 

[blazersfan]

But wouldn't you have to think that, if you are ready to go into a relationship with someone you see yourself with for a very long time? why just get into a relationship if you dont see yourself with her/him as the one for you in your futurer? you would just be wasting both of yall times imo. I know relationships can be trial and error sometimes, but i feel like if yall been talking and have been feeling each other out for sometime, and finally decide to get into a relationship, then it should be serious from that moment on.

 

[handullz]

Yea my boy was talking to me about that. He says he hates how people come up to him asking him if, "Yall getting married anytime soon." He says we view it as Marriage = Success. Anything Else = Failure.

see... this right here....

i hate how this is the norm, famb... like, people try to call you childish or immature if you're 32 w/ no kids and no wife.

 

[harm]

No such thing as taking breaks ..

Either you're together or you not ..

Just keep it 100 ...

Taking a break really means ...

"I wanna leave to see if the grass is greener on the other side, if its not I'll come back "