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- May 22, 2004
So im 28. My brother passed away at age 29 June 19th, 2017 from hearth and liver failure due to alcoholism. I don't even know when he started drinking, but I know he had been drinking for at least 10 years. He was always hard working but he just couldn't seem to put down the drink. I don't know what led him to start but we had been in foster care at an early age and I think that may have had something to do with it. He always was working hard and was very kind hearted to others around him. He'd go to the hospital and I would always beg him to stop, but he'd come out the hospital and continuously return over , and over sometimes evey week , sometimes evey two weeks.I'd go to visit him when I can and I would tell him to please stop the drinking.I even threatened to harm myself if something happened to him but he continued to drink.
At one point I decided to stop going to the hospital for a while because I was too busy with work and I was too traumatized to see him there week after week, He'd be hollering in pain , throwing up, throwing up blood,, hooked up to ivy, taking morphine, hooked up to multiple machines, but he'd come out and then drink again! Th alcohol really took a toll on his body bringing him down to 90 pounds, he had asthma, diabetes, low blood sugar, chronic pancreatisis, hypoglycemia, heart failure, liver damage, and more. I was very frustrated and I thought maybe by me going ,he thought it was okay to continue with it so I stopped going hoping that it would cause him to stop. Nothing worked he continued to drink. Perhaps one of the strangest things is that i've never seen him drink not even once! Even stranger as bad health as he was in he would continue to work, doing locksmith work, working on a garbage truck, working multiple jobs, so I always thought he knew what he was doing and one day he would eventually stop and get himself together. He was in a Inpatient program for about two months but he came out and went back to the bottle.
He was always intelligent with his work and always giving me advice so I really thought he would get in better shape soon and eventually overcome his addiction. As bad as his health was I didn't see the end of him coming because of the fact he was always going to work, and I couldn't picture living in a world without my brother.Then I got a frightening call on Saturday June 17th in the evening after coming from work. My sister called me and said Ray (my bro) was in the hospital and that he had passed out in the house and he had to have cpr done to him. I rushed over to the hospital to see my bro hooked up to multiple machines, and a respirator with almost my entire family surounding him. I let him know I was there and I kept saying in a quiet voice."It's your brother Alan i'm here you're going to be alright" I kept repeating "it's me Alan" so that he would know im there and then hopefully pull through.Even though his eyes were shut he popped opened his eyes for about a second and a half when he knew I was there and I thought it meant he was getting strong.It's only after everything occured I realized that it was the only way he had of saying goodbye to me , as he couldnt talk with the respirator hooked up to him. The doctor told me he started making improvements I was happy about and I left the room and started praying. Another doctor told me his chances of dying are much greater than his chances of living, and told me my brother is a fighter, but I still had hope and still couldnt picture a world without him.
It hit 12 o clock midnight on Sunday June 18th and I had to let my father know "I know this is not the best fathers day to see your son in the hospital but happy fathers day dad". He was still heart broken. I don't know why I didnt know my brother would die soon, and I wish instead of telling him "you're going to make it" I wish I would have told him "you're the best brother in the world and I will live my life for you" Everybody Loves Raymond'. Thats what I wish I would have told him but I didn't know he would be dead the coming monday. I left the hospital sunday to go to work and I couldnt see him in that bad shape, so hoping he would get better with time... I returned Monday morning and stayed for a couple of hours. I seen the doctors giving him cpr and I got on my knees and prayed he would make it. Too late...the doctor came out and told me that he had passed and I started yelling and crying. My mom was in tears and my whole family. We stood around him for a while and said a prayer and then left. The worst day of my life.EVER.
Whats crazy is that I started researching stuff about alcohol online after this and It said something about, alcohol dependency and alcohol abuse. Alcohol dependency is when the cells in ones body requires them to keep drinking to stay alive(such as withdrawl symptoms, like shakes and stuff like that. The person's brains is already damaged and that means theres no cure for it which means they will always have to drink. I wish I would of studied the disease earlier before he passed and it makes me upset that I didnt know, or else I would have went to the hospital everytime. I thought he had control of it and was drinking to be stubborn and now I feel bad every day of my life.Alcoholism ends my brothers life and now it leaves me sad for the rest of my life. It destroyed my family It destroyed all his friends who cared aout him. I'm 28 years of age, and I have to live my entire life without my brother all thanks to what I view as the deadliest disease that has ever been on the Planet.My brothers life has ended and now everyone including family who cared about him has to live on in this world without him and with all the Traumatic experiences and flashbacks of what it did to him.Alcoholism is the destroyer of all lives not only to the addict, but to all the family and friends of that person. I'm so upset , sad, heartbroken, embarassed, dissapointed, ashamed, and depressed. I never knew alcohol had the power to destory someone even if they don't drink.(It destroyed me because it killed my brother) I loved my brother so much and I Find it really hard to carry on living in a world without him.I am crushed for life
At one point I decided to stop going to the hospital for a while because I was too busy with work and I was too traumatized to see him there week after week, He'd be hollering in pain , throwing up, throwing up blood,, hooked up to ivy, taking morphine, hooked up to multiple machines, but he'd come out and then drink again! Th alcohol really took a toll on his body bringing him down to 90 pounds, he had asthma, diabetes, low blood sugar, chronic pancreatisis, hypoglycemia, heart failure, liver damage, and more. I was very frustrated and I thought maybe by me going ,he thought it was okay to continue with it so I stopped going hoping that it would cause him to stop. Nothing worked he continued to drink. Perhaps one of the strangest things is that i've never seen him drink not even once! Even stranger as bad health as he was in he would continue to work, doing locksmith work, working on a garbage truck, working multiple jobs, so I always thought he knew what he was doing and one day he would eventually stop and get himself together. He was in a Inpatient program for about two months but he came out and went back to the bottle.
He was always intelligent with his work and always giving me advice so I really thought he would get in better shape soon and eventually overcome his addiction. As bad as his health was I didn't see the end of him coming because of the fact he was always going to work, and I couldn't picture living in a world without my brother.Then I got a frightening call on Saturday June 17th in the evening after coming from work. My sister called me and said Ray (my bro) was in the hospital and that he had passed out in the house and he had to have cpr done to him. I rushed over to the hospital to see my bro hooked up to multiple machines, and a respirator with almost my entire family surounding him. I let him know I was there and I kept saying in a quiet voice."It's your brother Alan i'm here you're going to be alright" I kept repeating "it's me Alan" so that he would know im there and then hopefully pull through.Even though his eyes were shut he popped opened his eyes for about a second and a half when he knew I was there and I thought it meant he was getting strong.It's only after everything occured I realized that it was the only way he had of saying goodbye to me , as he couldnt talk with the respirator hooked up to him. The doctor told me he started making improvements I was happy about and I left the room and started praying. Another doctor told me his chances of dying are much greater than his chances of living, and told me my brother is a fighter, but I still had hope and still couldnt picture a world without him.
It hit 12 o clock midnight on Sunday June 18th and I had to let my father know "I know this is not the best fathers day to see your son in the hospital but happy fathers day dad". He was still heart broken. I don't know why I didnt know my brother would die soon, and I wish instead of telling him "you're going to make it" I wish I would have told him "you're the best brother in the world and I will live my life for you" Everybody Loves Raymond'. Thats what I wish I would have told him but I didn't know he would be dead the coming monday. I left the hospital sunday to go to work and I couldnt see him in that bad shape, so hoping he would get better with time... I returned Monday morning and stayed for a couple of hours. I seen the doctors giving him cpr and I got on my knees and prayed he would make it. Too late...the doctor came out and told me that he had passed and I started yelling and crying. My mom was in tears and my whole family. We stood around him for a while and said a prayer and then left. The worst day of my life.EVER.
Whats crazy is that I started researching stuff about alcohol online after this and It said something about, alcohol dependency and alcohol abuse. Alcohol dependency is when the cells in ones body requires them to keep drinking to stay alive(such as withdrawl symptoms, like shakes and stuff like that. The person's brains is already damaged and that means theres no cure for it which means they will always have to drink. I wish I would of studied the disease earlier before he passed and it makes me upset that I didnt know, or else I would have went to the hospital everytime. I thought he had control of it and was drinking to be stubborn and now I feel bad every day of my life.Alcoholism ends my brothers life and now it leaves me sad for the rest of my life. It destroyed my family It destroyed all his friends who cared aout him. I'm 28 years of age, and I have to live my entire life without my brother all thanks to what I view as the deadliest disease that has ever been on the Planet.My brothers life has ended and now everyone including family who cared about him has to live on in this world without him and with all the Traumatic experiences and flashbacks of what it did to him.Alcoholism is the destroyer of all lives not only to the addict, but to all the family and friends of that person. I'm so upset , sad, heartbroken, embarassed, dissapointed, ashamed, and depressed. I never knew alcohol had the power to destory someone even if they don't drink.(It destroyed me because it killed my brother) I loved my brother so much and I Find it really hard to carry on living in a world without him.I am crushed for life
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